r/WritingPrompts • u/katpoker666 Moderator • 11d ago
Off Topic [OT] Fun Trope Friday: Bad Influencer & Bad Romance!
Welcome to Fun Trope Friday, our feature that mashes up tropes and genres!
How’s it work? Glad you asked. :)
Every week we will have a new spotlight trope.
Each week, there will be a new genre assigned to write a story about the trope.
You can then either use or subvert the trope and/or genre in a 750-word max story or poem (unless otherwise specified).
To qualify for ranking, you will need to provide ONE actionable feedback. More are welcome of course!
Three winners will be selected each week based on votes, so remember to read your fellow authors’ works and DM me your votes for the top three.
Next up… IP
Out with the apocalypse, in with working 9-5. Most folks work in some format, averaging 80-90,000 hours in their lifetime. That’s 12-14% of your life–straight. Add on sleep and weekends, and it’s at least a third! Sounds riveting doesn’t it? Please note this theme is only loosely applied.
“Would you enthusiastically recommend that a friend purchase something you'd never tested yourself? Probably not. But you may be unwittingly doing this with information every day.” — Dan Ariely, ‘Misbelief: What Makes Rational People Believe Irrational Things’
Trope: Bad Influencer — Becoming an influence is such a popular goal now that even colleges are offering degrees in it. But not all influencers are good. The grownup sibling of the Phoneaholic Teenager and the cousin of the Sleazy Streamer, the influencer is often the prime example of why Social Media Is Bad and/or New Media Are Evil. Expect them to be image-obsessed, deceitful, manipulative of their audience and those around them, to be shilling bad (if not actually illegal) products, to live under Social Media Before Reason, and to be prejudiced, self-absorbed, and bitchy.
Genre: Bad Romance — A romantic and/or sexual relationship that is truly destructive, breaking down at least one of the lovers, probably both. Looking for further inspiration, can’t post this without Gaga.
Skill / Constraint - optional: Someone has a valley girl accent.
So, have at it. Lean into the trope heavily or spin it on its head. The choice is yours!
Have a great idea for a future topic to discuss or just want to give feedback? FTF is a fun feature, so it’s all about what you want—so please let me know! Please share in the comments or DM me on Discord or Reddit!
Last Week’s Winners
PLEASE remember to give feedback—this affects your ranking. PLEASE also remember to DM me your votes for the top five stories via Discord or Reddit—both katpoker666. This is a change from the top three of the past. In weeks where we get over 15 stories, we will do a top five ranking. Weeks with less than 15 stories will show only our top three winners. If you have any questions, please DM me as well.
Some fabulous stories this week and great crit at campfire and on the post! We had 16 stories, so we’re back to five winners. Congrats to:
Want to read your words aloud? Join the upcoming FTF Campfire
The next FTF campfire will be Thursday, August 27th from 6-8pm ET. It will be in the Discord Main Voice Lounge. Click on the events tab and mark ‘Interested’ to be kept up to date. No signup or prep needed and you don’t have to have written anything! So join in the fun—and shenanigans! 😊
Ground rules:
- Stories must incorporate both the trope and the genre
- Leave one story or poem between 100 and 750 words as a top-level comment unless otherwise specified. Use wordcounter.net to check your word count.
- Deadline: 11:59 PM EDT next Thursday. Please note stories submitted after the 6:00 PM EST campfire start may not be critted.
- No stories that have been written for another prompt or feature here on WP—please note after consultation with some of our delightful writers, new serials are now welcomed here
- No previously written content
- Any stories not meeting these rules will be disqualified from rankings
- Does your story not fit the Fun Trope Friday rules? You can post your story as a [PI] with your work when the FTF post is 3 days old!
- Please keep crit about the stories. Any crit deemed too distracting may be deleted. This is a time to focus on our wonderful authors.
- Vote to help your favorites rise to the top of the ranks (DM me at katpoker666 on Discord or Reddit)!
Thanks for joining in the fun!
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u/mysteryrouge 7d ago edited 6d ago
That Eldritch Dating Livestream.
“Ewwwww, like, why the hell are you livestreaming our date?”
Everyone in the coffee shop turned, watching the commotion Al was causing as they shifted into their preferred eldritch form.
Stone tendrils picked the small blond social media influencer up, while metal claws plucked a body camera from her chest.
“You should’ve told me you wanted to make a video of our date. This is so, totally uncool”
When Al matched with the internet personality, CaliforniaCourageCalliope, it was to the mutual understanding that both wanted to try something new. She wanted to date someone eldritch, and they wanted to see what was up with dating.
And so far, the date was going as well as a tinder match up could go. They discussed their interests over some ginormous cups of coffee and laughed at funny incidents that happened during both of their careers. Then, Alcatraz noticed something when surreptitiously looking up CaliforniaCourageCalliope on Twitch again. A stream titled “I'm Dating an Eldritch Being and He Doesn't Know I'm Streaming.”
When Al took a scroll through the chat, reading the messages at an absurd speed, he saw that no one in chat questioned why Calliope was doing this. Some, however, were betting on how soon Al would discover the stream.
The streamer was silent, shaking in Al's grasp as they towered over all.
“Like, if I wanted to put myself online and be popular, all I'd have to do is stay on my island.”
Calliope swallowed, eyes shifting as she spoke in a voice too fast for any human to understand. “I did tell you—on Tinder—I asked if I could stream.”
“You soooo totally did not.” Al showed her a glitzy black phone covered in false diamonds that looked pathetically tiny in Al's metal claws. On the screen was their chat, which only discussed going out for coffee and a few basic icebreaker type things.
Calliope huffed. “You must've deleted it then.”
Several purple eyes glared at blue ones. Calliope's camera was still recording. Holding it out so both they and the streamer were still in view, Al spoke in a far more serious voice. “Do you think I'm that dumb and clueless? Did you forget that I am an eldritch being who just so happens to like fashion? Have you not realized that I can break the minds of everyone viewing your livestream?”
When their date didn't respond, Al shifted their voice back to something more nasally. “Like, if you thought I was this ditzy all the time, how could you assume I'd be in control of my powers the whole time? You're lucky my full eldritch form is, like, soooo totally last year.”
“Th-this isn't your true form?”
“Ugh, OMG no! Imagine what people would say, 'Oh Alcatraz you look like my grandpa.’ and ‘Alcatraz, don't you know that chains are, like, so last season?’. I'm totally going to need to go shopping to decorate them at some point.”
Al put Calliope down, not returning her camera quite yet. “You, like, technically haven't broken any laws” —Al wished she had— “‘cause this is totally a public place, but like, if it were up to me, I would totally stop the stream and take down the recording. I don't think I’d ever be able to show my face in public if I got embarrassed that badly.”
Finally, the eldritch being handed the camera back, letting Calliope scramble out of the coffee shop.
“Ugh.” Al drank the rest of their coffee. “That was a totally awful date." But they were willing to try again. Opening Tinder, they swiped left repeatedly.
WC: 599\ Bonus Constraint: Alcatraz
Alcatraz wants to imprison someone...
And here's a sequel to last week's ftf, once again featuring our favorite valley girl eldritch prison. This, plus last week, have now influenced the lore of Eldritch Everything which means, Al the slightly ditzy, hard worker may appear in more Eldritch Everything stories.
Screams in once again blaming u/Morose_Prose for this travesty (affectionate) of a character.
Alcatraz got this idea to try dating from the IRS when she told them about her experience. Since both know the eldritch League of Nations is still alive, they probably discussed this over the League's 63 cats.
Part of a universe where anything and everything can become eldritch.
Check out my spreadsheet for more of my writing.
5
u/Morose_Prose 6d ago
Hey Scythe! Thanks for the unprompted shoutout! Let's talk about this story, shall we?
Everyone in the coffee shop turned, watching the commotion Al was causing. They assumed no one would be paying attention if it wasn't for them taking their preferred eldritch form.
I would rework this paragraph, it changes perspectives on a dime. You go from people in the coffee shop to Al without any transition between the two. Maybe consider: "Everyone in the coffee shop turned to watch the commotion Al was causing while they transformed into their preferred form."
This leads into my next crit: eldritch beings are usually incomprehensible and alien in nature. Alcatraz island is not that. I've been there, I can conceive of it. Al is more of a shapeshifter than an eldritch abomination in this story and last week's story. Consider changing that to better fit the narrative.
She wanted to date someone eldritch, and they wanted to see what was up with dating.
This line betrays the rest of the story. Does Calliope want to date a shapeshifter, or get Twitch views? You need to pick a lane here because the story says two different things and destroys the twist.
“You could’ve told me you wanted to make a video of our date. This is so, totally uncool”
"could've" is an odd word choice in my opinion. Relationships, even ones in their infancy, are about respect. The phrase "should have" is more respectful and natural to say to a date.
And so far, the date went fine.
There are two different tenses in this sentence. 'And so far' is present tense, 'the date went fine' is past tense. They need to match. Maybe try: 'And so far, the date was going fine (or well)'
They discussed their likes
Odd phrasing. Maybe: 'They discussed their interests'
Then, Alcatraz noticed something when looking up CaliforniaCourageCalliope on Twitch again. A stream called “I'm Dating an Eldritch Being and He Doesn't Know I'm Streaming.”
None of the viewers seemed to question this when Al took a scroll through the chat, reading the messages at an absurd speed.
Streams do not have names, they have titles. 'A stream titled: "I'm Dating..."
Also, how is Al looking this up? They do not pull out their phone until the next paragraph. Why even mention the viewers at all if they have no reaction? You could put it some funny chat messages here, or the viewers trying to get Al's attention. Saying the viewers did nothing does not elicit excitement from the reader.
“Like, if I wanted to put myself online and be popular, all I'd have to do is stay on my island.”
Alcatraz is the name of the island in San Francisco bay where the United States Federal Penitentiary is located. People colloquially call the prison 'Alcatraz' like people call tissue paper 'Kleenex'.
she spoke in a voice too fast for any human to understand. “I did tell you. On Tinder. I asked if I could stream."
This is a perfect place to use nonstandard or no punctuation at all if Calliope is speaking rapidly. Remove the periods and replace with em-dashes or commas.
viewing your Livestream?”
livestream should not be capitalized.
Al shifted their voice back to something more air headed.
Firstly: air-headed is a compound adjective and needs a hyphen. Secondly: air-headed is used to describe one's mental state, not speaking tone. Try 'lilting' or 'nasally' or even just 'high pitched'. This reads like shoehorning stereotypes in where they don't fit.
letting Calliope scramble out of the store.
Store? Continuity error here, they were in a coffee shop or cafe before.
“That was a totally awful date. I'm like, never doing that again.”
I would end with a joke here instead of Al giving up. If Al has their phone still, it would be funnier if they pulled up Tinder and started swiping with their metal claws.
The bones of a good, funny story are here, but it needs an editing pass to find the right tone and make it read more authentic as a bad date.
3
u/mysteryrouge 6d ago
Hmm... I suppose I see coffee shops as stores and restaurants at the same time...
Line edit crits are very much appreciated, and now I wanna throw consistent tense out a window.
I do point out that Al isn't currently doing anything especially incomprehensible at this point, (It is a first date) but that they're capable of tending the minds of anyone (human) who sees their true form.
Al is the prison who lives on the island, and thus, considers the island home. I'd say in universe, the people consider Al the island because the prison is no longer in operation and Al doesn't correct them. (Otherwise, they'd have to deal with what the League of Nations deals with when people discover he's alive despite the actual League no longer existing.
Calliope can want to both date and stream the date.
Anyways, thanks for the crit.
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u/MaxStickies r/StickiesStories 6d ago edited 6d ago
Totally Cerebral
Content Warning: body horror?
Through bleary eyes red and puffy, Netty takes in the harsh light of morning, piercing the curtains. Her head pounds with her pulse, rendering her thoughts vague and distant. She lifts her arm, looks at her hand, and sees how the edges fade into the ceiling.
Right, glasses, she thinks.
Wearing her specs clears some of the fuzz. Tossing the twisted covers, she lifts herself from bed, wobbles on two aching feet towards the door, knocking a stack of books off the other bed. Glancing between the mess and the exit, she winces at a twinge in her spine, just as her stomach growls. She heads for the kitchen.
Leaning against the oven, she blinks, and groans. A sudden pain in her skull sends her guts into a spin. Her left arm jerks, knocking a dirty pan to the floor.
Holy… fu—
She shuts her eyes as she spews into the sink, running the tap to drain the vomit away. Turning her back from it, she stares across her apartment. Vortices form in the cream walls, as the carpet rolls with hallucinatory waves, pulling her in. She grips the worktop.
The hell did I drink?
“Girl, what didn’t you drink?!”
Netty’s eyes dart about, seeking the source of the voice. Only she stands in the apartment.
“So, like, who’re you looking for?”
“Wha—you? Who the fuck are you?”
“You brought me home with you, remember, dummy? Had such a bitchin’ time together you wanted more! Can’t blame you.”
“I don’t know… but where are you?”
“You know where, silly.”
A shard of agony shoots from Netty’s eye to ear; she doubles over.
“Oh, my bad… it’s just so cramped in here! Anyway, I’m hungry, could totally devour a steak right now. How about we look in your fridge?”
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“Aw, come on, I’m… HUNGRY!”
Netty’s arms lash out towards the fridge, throwing her forward until she trips. The edge of the metal door races to her forehead…
A sour, acrid stench rouses Netty from sleep. Her arms slide against each other, greasy liquid dripping onto her legs, and she gags as the smell worsens. Swallowing sends a thick lump down her throat.
Something squirms at the back of her head. She cries, clutching her neck.
“That’s, like, so much better. Bacon and milk… mwah!”
“The fuck did you do to me?!”
“Girl’s gotta eat, you know? Oh, I… might’ve left a little under your tongue… sorry!”
“Get out!”
“No, no… are we being forgetful again? You let me in, Netty. We’re BFFWBs now.”
BFF… “What?”
“With benefits, girl. This thing isn’t one-way.”
“In what way… ah, fuck this!”
She jams her hand into her pocket, fishing for her phone, struggling against abrupt jitters and shakes in her arm. Her fingers close around the device and she yanks it out, thumb hovering between numbers nine and eight… just as a wave of calm drifts through her mind. Slumping back against a cabinet, her eyes flicker, darkness crowding the edges of her vision.
“Isn’t this, like, totally better?”
“Leave me alone.”
“But aren’t you so relaxed right now?”
“I-I want to live.”
“We will live together, baby. You and me.”
“Please…”
“You and me, forever.”
Netty’s eyes close, and she wheezes, thoughts fading.
A door clicks open, somewhere in the dim world beyond her mind. A woman gasps. From the haze come the chugging riffs of a down-tuned guitar, joined by guttural roars.
“What the actual fuck?! Stop that, oh my god!”
Something loosens in Netty’s skull. A hand tilts her head forward, and a long, slippery object bubbles from her throat. She spits, opening her eyes. A pink worm squirms on the kitchen floor, snapping giant mandibles.
Thick muscular arms bring a bat down on its head, rending it in two.
Netty glances up, taking in the fine, fierce features of her saviour. A boombox hangs from the woman’s shoulder.
“Mel?” Netty asks.
Her roommate reaches down, lifts her to her feet. “Glad I got here quick. You okay?”
“Sort of?”
“Those things are infecting the whole city, we gotta move. Can you walk?”
“I… I don’t…”
She takes a step, and her knee buckles; she catches herself on a cupboard.
Without another word, Mel lifts her in her arms, and rushes through the door. The hallways ring with screams and retches, but Netty ignores it all, draped in her roommate’s obsidian hair.
She closes her eyes, pushing the worm from her thoughts… letting it go.
WC: 749
Crit and feedback are welcome.
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u/AmeliaLP 5d ago edited 5d ago
Trigger warning: obnoxious men
Alpha Fail
Hmm, how to become a better man huh? Maybe I should watch this.
Click!
“ARE YOU A LOSER?!”
Yes...
“Do you wanna learn how to be a better man?”
Well I clicked the video didn’t I?
“Then you need to start being an Alpha male! Let me teach you how. So you probably think when a female is talking she wants to be heard right?”
Sounds reasonable to me.
“WRONG!”
Oh.
“Females want you to tell them what to do. They love being given orders and will respect you for doing it. But there’s more. Alpha’s gain friends faster, they’re more confident and will succeed at everything. Lastly I’d like to mention the dangers of emotion. Some morons will claim being emotional is natural. More and more men are being neutered by society, but I say no more! Emotions are for women! So remember, don’t be weak or emotional, instead be like a wolf, be an Alpha!”
An Alpha huh? It sounds so simple. Maybe I’ll try.
Fred’s stomach growled loudly.
Alright, here it goes.
“Laura! Make me a god damn sandwich!”
“Excuse me?” She replied.
“I said, SANDWICH NOW!”
Laura strode into the room. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Hungry.” Fred shrugged.
“So you decided to bark orders at me?!”
“Uh...yes?”
“That’s not okay! If you act like this again I’m dumping you.”
“But I’m an Alpha.”
“Oh god, you haven’t fallen for that BS have you?”
“It’s not BS. It actually makes a lot of sense.”
“What...”
“Yeah, I’m in charge and you follow what I say. Where’s the problem?”
“I can’t believe what I’m hearing. You seemed so sweet and smart but I guess I was wrong about you.”
“Sweet? You mean weakness! I have none.”
“Okay Fred. I’m leaving. I’ll miss who I thought you were.”
Laura frowned, turning to leave the room. Fred grabbed her arm.
“You’re not allowed to leave.”
“I’m not allowed to?! Fuck off you creep!” She jerked out of his grip, sprinting away.
Bam!
As the door slammed Fred slumped down onto the floor.
I did everything right. I’m an Alpha, but she left me. SHE LEFT ME!
He slammed his fist against the floor.
No... Mustn’t get angry cause anger is an emotion and I’m better than that. Why did she leave? I was just trying to be a better man. This whole situation, it, it just makes me feel so. No. I feel nothing. I am strong. I am an Alpha! She didn’t leave me...I LEFT HER! Yes, yes its all clear now. I’m too good for her. I deserve better. I’m glad she’s gone! But what now?
Fred glanced at his pc.
I must learn more. I need to be better. I must become....
THE ULTIMATE ALPHA!!
WC: 461
4
u/Fogbot3 5d ago edited 5d ago
Well that was horrifying in the best possible way, what a horrible human being! Truly it was Laura that deserved better.
If I have to give one crit, it does feel like it moves really quick. Perhaps more words could have been put in the beginning to set him up as insecure/vulnerable already? How quickly he's dumped is absolutely great and part of the effect of the piece, I'd say, so no more words needed there, but the beginning feels rather sudden if he's 'new' to this philosophy that he's falling for.
Good words!
1
7
u/katpoker666 Moderator 5d ago
[ineligible for voting]
Cher needed money, badly. For the first time in her forty-eight years, she was beyond broke and utterly… clueless.
She stared at the peeling walls of her walk-up studio in the still loathsome valley. A cockroach skittered past, and she absentmindedly crushed it with a beat-up heel. “Sorry, my bad!” Even in her destitute state, Cher had standards, and using a Jimmy Choo for bug duty violated them to the core. Her shoe deserved an apology.
Things hadn’t always been like this. Growing up in a mansion in Beverly Hills, Cher had it all: designer clothes, fancy cars, and equally wealthy friends. The closest she’d come to poverty was in high school, chairing the relief committee for the Pismo Beach Disaster, where folks lost everything in a storm. She’d donated all she could because it was just so sad—even her skis! And now, there were homeless people in the street out front of her place and everything! Where had her good deeds gotten her?
Nowhere, that’s where! Despite the dangers, a basic home in the Val cost a cool million. Not that she could afford one, if she wanted to! Even her studio was rented. Her life was a far cry from Beverly Hills...
But Elton had gotten the house and everything else in the divorce; it seemed like… Damned prenup! Her father had missed the ball on reviewing that one! Litigator schmitigator! So she slept with that hippie stoner, Travis, again…? Everybody knows it doesn’t count as infidelity if you’ve slept with them already before! Should have been a clause for that, clearly!
Still, she missed her dad… If he were still alive, he’d know what to do at least. He was always good at making money or arguing his way out of things, worst case. But he’d died last year, and she’d blown through her inheritance, although she had no idea how, as it was worth seven figures.
So, what to do?
Her friends had bailed when the money ran out. Amber, Dionne… even fucking Tai, and she’d made that girl cool out of the goodness of her heart! Traitors!
Cher had no marketable skills either, unless you counted shopping. But she’d sold most of her wardrobe to make rent. No one wants a poor-looking girl wearing last season’s clothes to sell on Rodeo Drive! Fashion isn’t a charity after all!
What to do…?
And then she realized the one thing she could do better than anyone else: speak the language of her youth, the fabled ‘valley girl.’ She’d read online that nineties clothes were making a comeback. Who doesn’t love a lumped-out slip dress and baby tee after all? How dope would it be if folks could actually sound as radical as they looked?
Now she just needed to figure out how making fundage on YouTube worked…
“Ugh, as if!” She muttered.
WC: 476
Thanks for reading! Feedback is always appreciated
Note: yes, this is a gritty fanfic of the movie Clueless which kicked off the popularization of valley girl
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u/Fogbot3 5d ago edited 5d ago
“Thank you for gracing our show today, Marissa. Give it up for Marissa Katies, everyone!”
“Well, thank y’all for having me; it’s been a pleasure.”
The studio broke into applause as I bowed and left the stage.
Behind the curtains, the social dynamics didn’t stop. In fact, they told quite the interesting story indeed. It was always a vortex, with workers scurrying every which way for their queen. Me. But today, there was a drop of antimatter in that vortex. A bubble idly moving through it at its own pace, knowing that the plebian bits of matter around must do the work of avoiding it, lest an explosion occur.
To others, that bit of antimatter was one State Propaganda Officer, Keely Mills. In her military cap and stiff jacket, she was the one to be feared. She was the judge, jury, and executor of the media landscape. I may have been the shark, but this was her pond.
To me however…
I waltzed right up to her sneering face. She lifted her chin at my approach, “Ms. Katies, report.”
“Of course, Officer Mills,” I drawled out, opening the door for her even as the cameramen scattered, and the host decided he’d find another room to take off his makeup in.
The second the door closed on our claimed room, our lips met.
I broke for a breath first, “Did I do good?”
Keely stepped back, fixing her hat that had gone askew on her head, “Well, darling, you did insinuate that Senator Gerben was having an affair, so-”
She paused, as I waited in anticipation. That was the task. The job that I had been given under the table by her.
“-I suppose.” She patted me on the head, and I shuddered.
She flatly continued, “Good job.” Already distracted, looking down to check her phone.
I perked up after refixing my own hair, “Do you think perhaps we could-”
“Hold on,” She held up a finger, and I waited as she took a call. “He what? Yes, of course! … Yes, of course I mean kill him goddamnit, do I need to go over there and shoot him myself?!”
I snickered at the poor fool who had gotten on Keely’s bad side this time. Her bad side was a strangely empty scene, with how quickly she took care of any appearances there.
She continued ranting, “Just deal with it! I’m with Marissa Katies. No, the other Marissa Katies… OF COURSE THE SUPERMODEL.” Keely looked me up and down, and I posed for her, “Listen, I got her wrapped around my fingers here, and christ, she’s practically stripping for me already, so if you fucking interrupt this again, it’s you next, got it?”
Groaning as she ended the call, she rolled her eyes at me, “Underlings, am I right?”
“I know!” I nodded quickly, “About what you said-”
She tilted her head, giving me a piercing look. I gulped and changed course, “Something about stripping-?” I lifted a strap of my dress with a deflecting chuckle.
The huff of laughter from her warmed my heart, and she just put her hand on my shoulder to guide the strap back down. “Not tonight. Just had to show the peons how above them I- we all are, right?”
“Of course.” I agreed instantly. It was a silly thought anyways… “Well, it was nice seeing you again. You know you can always text when you want to meet up, or spend the night?”
“Uh-huh.” She practically mumbled as she browsed on her phone again, “Ah, here it is. Keepers Cola is being bought by the state. Need you to work your media magic. Make the others look bad; Keeper’s is the best - you know the drill.”
My eyes alit. “Of course. Their competitors will be underwater by the end of next week.”
Any opportunity to show her that I had the world wrapped around my fingers too. Any opportunity, to show her that I stood on the same stage. I had to be after all, otherwise, what was I doing standing next to her? Did I even deserve to, or was I to her, just another-
A kiss on the lips as Keely passed by me doused my thoughts.
“Good. See you next week then.”
“See you next week. Love you…”
Keely turned to me from the doorway with a raised eyebrow. Then, without another word, she left.
WC: 733
7
u/Tomorrow_Is_Today1 /r/TomorrowIsTodayWrites 10d ago
Caught
“Alright,” he said, phone on his arm, “I’ve set up a camera in the living room. She doesn’t know it’s there. I’ll record myself with my phone walking over there and the rest will be on that footage. Let’s go.” He held the phone up, snickering at it as he walked through the hallway before propping it up against a box of tissues on a nearby table. He walked into the room.
“Hey Miranda, we need to talk.”
She looked up with a sigh. She wore strong eyeliner and mascara with a smoky eye (would she cry on camera? would they get to see the makeup run?) and a tight ponytail. “Yes, George. We do.”
“Yeah. I’m not in love with you.” Now how soon would he break it? It wasn’t the first time. In previous pranks he told her almost immediately it was a joke. Since then, they’d gone on longer and longer each time.
She sighed again. “I know. You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?”
His eyes lit up. The perfect thing to feed on. “Yeah, yeah, I’m cheating on you. Have been for a while. Your lovin just...don’t cut it anymore, you know?”
“I know. You’ve made it clear. Said it all before.” She stood up and squinted at him. “You call them jokes, and I think they used to be, when I was in on it. Then, too, when you would reassure me. The idea that you didn’t love me was an absurd, laughable thing. Neither of us took it seriously.”
“This one’s not a prank,” he said hurriedly to keep the bit going.
“I don’t care. I don’t care anymore. It doesn’t matter when the cameras are off because I’m always playing the role now, aren’t I? Wouldn’t want to get cancelled. Wouldn’t want to get caught off guard. And the whole audience wants me caught off guard. No tension there.” She laughed, finally, at the wrong time. He hadn’t called it yet.
“So, yeah,” he said, “I think we’re just gonna break up. KIDDING! Pranked ya!”
He punched her on the arm and she laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
4
u/ZLErikson 9d ago
Howdy Ti-... hmm, trying to acronym your name is rather funny :P Howdy Tom!
First line made re-read it and think about what it means and... I'm not sure what a "phone on his arm" means/looks like:
“Alright,” he said, phone on his arm,
Did you mean something like, in his hand but his hand is out at arm's-length for a selfie-style recording/stream?
Need a comma after "there":
I’ll record myself with my phone walking over there and the rest will be on that footage.
I already hate whoever he is. The fact that someone doesn't know there's a hidden camera, and this guy's gonna be getting multiple angles of some reaction shot, means there's footery-a-fuck and I loathe those kinds of shenanigans. I hope this story ends with him as single as he deserves to be.
The first paragraph has a few "He <verb>" lines in a row:
he said,
He held
He walkedOh I haaaaate these internal thoughts:
(would she cry on camera? would they get to see the makeup run?)
Especially the "get to". I am just so viscerally mad at this fuckboi xD
I'm glad she seems to be fed up with his shit already:
“Hey Miranda, we need to talk.” “Yes, George. We do.”
Oh wow, he's done this prank before? What a tool! He's not a "bad influencer" in the sense of being an awful person (I mean, he is that too) but "bad" in the sense that he's pathetic xDD His fans (all six of them) must be laughing at him, not with him.
Oh my god, this is so cringe:
Your lovin just...don’t cut it anymore, you know?”
I want to curl up and just get sick from imagining someone saying that xD I still hate this guy, but it's turned into a sort of twisted dark comedy rather than just ragebait.
The laughter, and the emphasis on it, makes this ending really eerily dark:
She laughed, finally, at the wrong time. He hadn’t called it yet. He punched her on the arm and she laughed, and laughed, and laughed.
George is awful and I hope Miranda actually leaves him. For her own good, for her self respect, and judging from the laughter, for her penalty and for the sake of not getting a felony murder charge. This almost feels like a potential Joker-esque origin story.
Fantastic story! You made me feel things; hatred and revulsion, cringy discomfort, then some flavors of fear at the end.
Good words!
7
u/QTFroame 9d ago
If perfection couldn't exist, Hypatia would provide a captivating alternative to the masses. That was her goal, and she was achieving it worldwide. A household name, Fusion Hy was a woman who used AI alongside her content. While many people were iffy about the creativity of such creatures, she had a wide audience and starred in many roles with or without AI. She had finally reached the level of fame she desired, and with her knowledge now, she knew exactly how to achieve her goal.
"My patrons, welcome! We're back for another video, and today, it's a special one. I'm unveiling a special product."
It was a long time coming. She spent a bit of time padding out the video with lively explanations and her sponsor, Goldilocks Beverages, before she pulled out the AI android.
It looked exactly like her, or the character she played online. Her own appearance was modifiable, so she made Fusion Hy beautiful. The duality in her pink and green hair mirrored her heterochromia. Her fashion made her look like a merchant, and she translated that look for her androids.
"This is AI Hy! Say hello, cutie~."
"Hello."
It contained her voice, which she made sure to fine-tune to sound exactly like her. This was her down to every detail.
"See? She's so cute. I'm announcing the Hy AI Bots, or HAB! I have online chat-bots where you can speak to me, and you can buy different types of AI androids of me! Including the main one I have here."
She spent some time showing the features and comparing them. This HAB had a freedom mode and a maid mode. The former meant it would act as it saw fit within the parameters already set, and the maid mode meant it would only act in response to words and orders. It was a complex project, and she loved explaining the software.
"You could do whatever you want to her," Hypatia said, turning her head to it. "Hy, show them how varied you can be."
It smiled at the camera, bobbing its head back and forth. "You guys are in for hella surprises! Please, buy me!" It winked at the camera, licking her lips.
Was it doing an accent? Hypatia was surprised, but was it trying to maximize sales by being a bit risqué? She supposed she might as well support it.
"You can do anything with the HABs. Nobody will know if you want me to be your secret girlfriend, you know. Your little freak fantasies are alllll yours to keep, patrons. I will be the dealer for your obsession!"
She assuaged any doubt that she would steal information with her AI. She was paying a pretty penny for this whole project. Being sued was unglamorous, and her patrons deserved the best. Once she was done recording, she edited and uploaded it in the morning. No moment of rest, but rest is unnecessary for visionaries.
Now she could finally rest. As she went to the kitchen, her boyfriend had already made breakfast. He was waiting for her at the table.
"Morning, babe."
"Another late night..." He seemed drained for some reason, but she was willing to ignore it, as it was his typical state of being nowadays. But he pushed beyond that. "Did you...release AI androids?"
"Yeah...?"
He was on his phone, watching the video.
"You spent all that time...to prey on the loneliness of men and women? You need to be a paid sub to use your chat-bot, really?"
The accusations were something she was prepared for, but from her own boyfriend? "You can't be serious. Even if it is a little addictive, addictions aren't always bad."
"You always do this. You manipulate your fans to like you. Remember that one fan you were messaging when he started to disappear?"
"That was early in my career. Stop holding onto it!" What was with this sudden interrogation, she wondered. "What's your deal?"
"My deal is when my girlfriend barely hangs out with me and then encourages her fans to flirt with her." He showed her the comments. A few of them were pushing it, but she knew people would do that. "Why would you say you could be someone else's girlfriend? You're such a sl-"
Hypatia leaned over and kissed him on the lips. It was easy to calm him down. Pleasure was a wonderful tool.
She knew what was best for him, as she did for everyone else.
Word count: 743
Feedback and crit welcome. Kinda love Hypatia, wonder if I'll use her again.
5
u/Tomorrow_Is_Today1 /r/TomorrowIsTodayWrites 6d ago
howdy qt! nice story, definitely leans into the yikes of the prompt lol. creepy!
i think the pov was the right choice, the narration which leans into her own phrasing and enables you to have more disturbing lines and to show more of the duality between her internal world and what she presents externally. it's quite effective
introduction is tell-y (particularly that first paragraph) and i don't feel it's needed, i think you could honestly just jump straight in and readers'll pick up context
It winked at the camera, licking her lips.
i'm torn whether the pronoun switch is effective or whether it should be "its". i think i like the switch to "her". that it has her lips, kinda leaning into that uncanny valley effect
good words!
5
u/QTFroame 5d ago
Choosing the right pov can be a hassle, but I'm glad you feel it is the right choice.
Ahh, perhaps I do get into telling a bit when it comes to certain story elements. Been thinking about it and maybe I cling to my personal interpretation of the story, so I get caught up in conveying it? Regardless, it is something of note.
With that being said, thank you again for reading and your feedback!
8
u/Morose_Prose 7d ago edited 5d ago
Take Two: Electric Boogaloo
Various assistants scurried around the meticulously crafted living room set in the modest-sized Simi Valley studio. Lights, microphones, and cameras were tinkered and toyed with to ensure a clean, professional production. This video would make or break the burgeoning career turn for the Smiths, pivoting to shilling 'traditional values' after their previous influencer space banned them for: corruption of the youths and violation of multiple site-wide rules regarding 'questionable content.'
Five fingers flew above the camera lens. "Five minutes, everyone! Let's get it right!" bellowed the director on set.
Mr. Smith adjusted his denim shirt and settled into a large, cushy, floral-patterned armchair. He turned to his partner and smiled. "How do I look?"
The rolling of Mrs. Smith's eyes could be heard on the boom mic hovering above the couple. "Like a prick," she purred. "What about me, hubby?" her voice spilled like smoke on the water across the gap between them.
"That floral dress and tight bun make you look like a prude. Just how we planned. I think this will work, but we need to commit to the bit. So sit up straight and try to look soulless."
Always the performer, she spun her head quickly, staring directly into the camera lens with a thousand yard stare. "Like this?"
Five fingers were replaced by a single thumb up. "Looks great, Jane!" The director checked the viewfinder to ensure proper framing. "No time like the present, people. Let's shoot this!"
CLACK!
"Hello there! My name is John Smith, and this is my lovely wife, Jane Smith. We're here to talk to you today about the key to true intimacy. Isn't that right, darling?"
"Yes, dear. I'm so happy to share—" A stiff gag cut Jane off, her body stiffened like a plank, and her eyes crossed.
"Our patent-pending program providing pre-and-post marital management and motivation! What's the secret, you ask? Well, I tell you! The key to any good—" Choked croaks crawled from John's throat. Every limb spasmed like a fish out of water, his eyes clamped shut.
"Relation... ship is comm... uni... cation!" Jane chimed in, her voice and knees both shaking. Her ample chest heaved trying to suck in wind. "The women... out there... know that... men struggle with... it... from time to time." She winked directly at the camera, taking a deep breath. "No more with the bedrock of our program: the 'Cut It Out Collar!' This humane and sa—" Like a plastic bag caught in an updraft, Jane thrashed in the armchair.
"Safe device... is for when your... significant other starts... what the kids would call..." John paused, rivulets of sweat dripping down his broad forehead, his lungs burning and his heart racing. "'Acting a fool', or being 'whack' around the house. Communication is not always verbal, and as the old saying goes... silence can be g—" A cresting shock through every nerve sent John crumbling into the fetal position, nearly falling off his chair.
"G-g-golden." Jane gulped for air. "Trust is also... tantamount. That's why the device is... biometrically protected and only once both wearers' unique IDs are entered will they activate." Jane struggled to speak through a massive moan. "Their sleek design can be easily concealed und—" As if struck by Mjolnir itself, Mrs. Smith flopped to the ground, writhing like she was being barraged by divine lightning bolts.
"Under... neath..." Groaning gasps gnashed naught but empty air. "Even the sheerest item of clothing. For only three payments of—"
"Cut! Cut! God damn it!" screamed the director, causing the Smiths to flinch, expecting another jolt of juice. "Wardrobe! Clean up on the set!"
Heavy boots hit shag carpeting, clomping with thunderous steps to center stage. The director shook his head in frustration. "Slow it down you two! Both of you are covered in flop sweat down to your crotches, fucking up your makeup, and my lighting!"
Director's direct, and this director directed the duo down the doldrous hallway to wardrobe. Actors improvise. The two ducked into the stairwell, embracing each other tightly, bolts of passion crackled from their gazes.
It took thirteen more takes to finally get the project in the can. In the end, the Smiths lost everything. Their device never made it to market for what court records called 'An obscene affront to the fragile moral fiber of all mankind.' The current whereabouts of John and Jane Smith, are unknown.
Word Count: 730
Bonus Constraint: The Smiths are from Simi Valley, thus Jane is a valley girl, but not the kind you're thinking of.
7
u/bemused_alligators 6d ago
The endoscope slid through the duct easily, feeding out from my careful spool. Elmer was hovering over my shoulder, staring intensely at the screen.
"I don't see anything." Elmer's breath was hot on the back of my neck as he spoke.
"Of course you don't. We aren't at the problem yet."
I checked the spool again, half an eye on the screen, as Elmer's breath tickled the back of my neck again.
"Do you want to do this yourself Elmer? It's not that hard."
"uh... No, thanks."
"Then back up. Go sit, right there." I pointed at a chair on the far side of the room. One where he couldn't see the screen. "And patch up your arm. There's antiseptic and bandages in the drawer to your left."
I shook my head and turned my attention back to the Tol'varian Death Beast's esophagus.
A taller person knocked on the door frame, and then pulled open the curtain. "Hey doc, is Elmer in here?"
"That he is Cap. And he's patching himself up this time while I deal with this creature. Why is it on board again?"
"It's here because Elmer has properly registered it as a companion -"
"As if, this thing is a menace!"
"- and it's not my or your job to tell him that he can't have her here -"
"That's right" Elmer cut in. "She is mine, and I'm hers. Forever and ever. Even if she insists on eating the Captain's lunch from time to time."
"- but I CAN tell him that he's fired. You need to re-pay the cost of that fish, or you're done." The captain turned and stomped out of the room.
Elmer slumped in his chair. "uh... I don't exactly have the funds..."
I raised my eyebrows as I glanced his way. "You're paying ME first, got it?
“Fine”
The uncomfortable silence that followed was thick, as I carefully grabbed the fish bone with the endoscope's claw and maneuvered it back out of The creature’s multi-layered Maw.
“All right Elmer, I’m done. You see to your death machine, and you can come settle up with me later, alright?”
I stalked away as he moved to the stool I had vacated, the curtain cutting off the first bars of a lullaby as it swung closed.
7
u/wordsonthewind 5d ago
The Cooper Crew was far from the biggest name at this family-vlogging convention. They were mid-listers at best, competing with channels that had hundreds of millions more subscribers and far more glamorous lives.
For Cameron Christopher Cillian James Cooper, though, it was an opportunity in more ways than one.
He'd tried to shed his other names a long time ago. Fiona had been the first one to tell him that his parents were crazy instead of saying that they meant well and he should try to understand them, way back when they were both in high school. She'd listened to him. With her he'd felt free to be James, just James, instead of a C. Junior.
But a good girlfriend didn't necessarily make a good wife, and some things had made him worry. As his mother had put it, Fiona loved the sound of her own voice and flaunted what God gave her. How could such a girl ever handle cleaning and cooking and keeping house, let alone bring up their future children properly? That question was important, especially when she herself had done everything right and still failed to keep his father around.
Catherine had been in one of his college classes. She hung onto his every word and laughed at his jokes and they never ever fought. Even Fiona had argued with him sometimes. Didn't that mean she loved him less?
Fiona hadn't been happy when he broke off their engagement. She'd said that Catherine only saw him as a trophy to steal, but at least she valued him. At least she fought for him and won him over. Of course he'd chosen her. She knew how much she needed him even if Fiona decided she outgrew him long ago.
It was easy to go by his first name again. Catherine thought it was cute and he would happily put up with some corniness for her. They married quickly before Christopher was born: Cameron's first son, named after his grandfather. Connor had been next and last, at least Cameron had thought so. Then Catherine fell pregnant with twin girls.
The vlog had been his idea, but Catherine had named it. The Cooper Crew hadn't been much more than a few home movies, albeit with better editing thanks to Catherine's film electives in college. It all seemed like the modern-day equivalent of scrapbooking. He'd let his wife have her little hobby.
That little hobby hadn't remained little for long. The channel gained a tidal wave of subscribers and ad revenue and sponsorship offers came pouring in. Clara and Ciara starred in their first video for the vlog while they were still in diapers. Catherine had blossomed, Cameron had floundered. He played his part for the camera but all he really did was follow his wife's directions. The camera controlled their lives now.
The thought came to him that evening as he was shaving in the hotel bathroom. He wanted to be James again. To go back to a simpler time when he wasn't on display for millions around the world.
Catherine could network in the conference hall. Cameron would simply see where the night took him.
The bar was mildly crowded and pleasantly smoky. Cameron slid into an empty stool, feeling a little out of place. He hadn't done this since the boys were born.
"Omigod, hi!" Someone chirped from behind him. "Aren't you, like, Mr Cooper from the Cooper Crew?"
Cameron had seen her type at the conference. One of those small-time Stepford Wife influencers with a herd of kids and a slightly-too-manic smile. Well, he'd keep her secret if she kept his.
"I'm James," he said. It felt odd on his tongue. Unfamiliar.
"James." A giggle. "Are you going to order a martini?"
He smiled, let his fingers trail up her arm-
A hand clamped down on his wrist.
"You've had too much to drink if you're mistaking other women for me," Catherine said coolly. "Let's get you back upstairs."
"We were just talking," he protested once they were safely behind closed doors.
Catherine's tone never wavered. "I won. You chose me. And I'm going to keep you. No matter what it takes."
"Don't you love me? Don't you want me to be happy?"
"Darling." Catherine said it like she was explaining two plus two. "We are happy. This is what happiness is. Happy wife, happy life!"
She gave him a peck on the cheek. "I'll go check on the girls."
7
u/KiIIer_queenie 5d ago edited 5d ago
The seven deadly sisters
Lust made sure her purple lipstick was right in the mirror, before glancing at her matching dress again before sighing and stepping out of her car. She already knew there was some microscopic problem her sister would point out, like always.
Entering the restaurant, she saw five of her six sisters all sitting in a big booth. Wrath had red short hair and wore a sleeveless shirt and black jeans, with wrapping on her knuckles. Gluttony was wearing a thick hoodie and joggers, already on her second plate of appetizers. Sloth was using Gluttony as a pillow and lightly snoring, sunglasses and a mask hiding the obvious. Greed and Pride wore business suits, blonde hair and green eyes sharp as ever.
Neither of them had on makeup, Greed said it was an unnecessary cost and Pride said she’d never be ugly enough to need it. Lust hated how she was kind of right, didn’t make the comment any less bitchy though.
She quickly hugged and greeted them, sitting beside wrath and smiling to her.
“Hey sis.”
“You look nice. Trying to impress someone?” Lust asked.
“Hoping for no Envy comments this year. One more and I may break her jaw.”
They all started small talk, discussing how everyone had been. Three times gluttony asked if they could order yet, each time they all told her to wait for envy, even though she was coming late as always. Envy entered the restaurant chewing bubblegum and wearing a pink dress. She was beautiful as ever and had a large man following her in a nice suit.
“Oh-em-gee! It’s been like forever, loves! Lust, usually you wear green. No confidence in it? Don’t worry, you’ll find your style one day. Greed, Pride, someone’s unoriginal huh? And I guess gluttony and sloth have stayed true to like, the casual look. Totally jokes, you know I love you all. This is Maxwell, my man,” Envy said, looking Wrath up and down before grimacing and looking away.
That was somehow worse than her making a comment, Wrath clenching her fists and jaw. There was only one seat left on either side of the booth, so Maxwell sat beside Greed and Envy sat beside Lust.
Greed and Maxwell shake hands and share an odd glance, catching Lust’s eye.
“I’m going to take a leak. Order something good for me honey if they come over while I’m gone.” Maxwell said, giving Envy a thumbs up.
“Always, baby.”
As he left, Engy groaned and rolled her eyes.
“I wish I didn’t have to settle. Like, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, why’re all the hot ones so loyal. Lust, we should totally steal some boyfriends! We haven’t done it in forever!”
Lust ignored her and looked at the menu. When she looked up, Greed and giggling and texting someone. Gluttony waved a waiter over to order, Envy smiling that rude smile.
“I’m so jealous of you, Gluttony! You like, don’t even care how that food makes your body look. I wish I was so careless sometimes, dieting is like, literally torture.”
The pair immediately started bickering, and Lust squeezed past Envy to go to the bathroom, just to get away. She didn’t do much other than wash her hands and pace. When she came out, Greed and Maxwell were in the hallway kissing. Greed and her made eye contact and the woman quickly shooed Maxwell away and walked over.
“You look offended.”
“You were making out with my sister’s boyfriend.”
“You’ve stolen plenty of men and women.”
“Not from my sister.”
“Who cares? She’s a bitch. If I want her toy, I’ll take him when I want. She’s too busy showing off food to her followers to care either way.”
“I can’t believe you’d do this! What would the others think?”
“Wrath knows, she hates envy more than she hates me. Sloth’s too lazy to care, Gluttony can only take so many insults before she’s willing to overlook it. We both know Pride won’t care.”
“I’ll tell. I dislike Envy too, she’s a bitch. So are you, we’re all assholes! But we have each other. I’m not risking that.”
Greed smirked, shaking her head.
“Then tell. You think I give a fuck? He’s an ugly insignificant man who doesn’t matter. She breaks it off with him, I am too. I’m not lowering myself to dating him if I’m not taking him from someone.”
WC:740
2
u/wordsonthewind 4d ago
Ooh, the seven deadly sins. I've been looking forward to this!
I find it amusing that Lust put in that effort to make sure she looked right because she was sure that Envy would point out some tiny flaw in her appearance and then Envy just casually dismissed her entire look without nitpicking. Greed's reasoning for stealing Maxwell fit well with the nature of her deadly sin: greed has to have everything, and even other people can become just things to acquire so that someone else can't have them.
Good words!
7
u/ZLErikson 10d ago edited 7d ago
<Sci-Fi/Romance>
Memories
Si\1]) traveled\2]) to Dee’s\3]) apartment\4]) to help\5]) her nail\6]) a tricky\7]) ClipClop\8]) transition\9]) for their\10]) anniversary\11]) post\12]). When Dee\3]) hit\13]) ‘record’\14]), the “glitch”\15]) revealed\16]) a collage\17]) of Si’s\1]) past\18]) visits\19]), spelling\20]) “I\3]) choose you\1]) every time\21]).” They\10]) laughed into\9]) a kiss\22]).
The End\34])
----------------
References:
1- Pronounced “See”, short for\23]) [redacted]\24]), a cisgender female-identifying (she/her) time-traveler and romantic partner of Dee\3]). They are from a generic time known as “the future”, where a mixture of fantasy-esque magic and various types of -punk technology (cyber, solar, etc) are seamlessly mingled. Si’s first appearance in this series was in Early to being late
2- Specifically “time traveled”, using TimeJumptm - the friendly time travel service provider\25]) - to move through both time and space\26])
3- Pronounced “Dee”, short for\23]) “Deborah”, a cisgender female-identifying (she/her) waitress\27]) from the Fun Tea Friday Cafe\28]), “Where everyday is Friday” (Dee, multiple timelines)\29]). Dee received this position\27]) after being fired from her job at Costco\30]), and was first introduced to work at the cafe\28]) in First Day. Dee’s first appearance in this series was in Early to being late
4- “A room or set of rooms fitted especially with housekeeping facilities and usually leased as a dwelling” - Merriam-Webster\31])
5- To render assistance
6- To succeed with accuracy. Not related to a hammer or a small, thin piece of piercing metal
7- Somewhat difficult and requiring a degree of finesse and aptitude to overcome
8- Legally distinct version of TikTok. Dee\3]) has long struggled to get a footing on the platform
9- To link two different actions
10- Referring to two or more parties, not an individual’s pronoun
11- A celebration of an annual event, in this case the formalizing of their\10]) (Si’s\1]) and Dee’s\3]) ) relationship
12- A message, in this case video and audio, shared in a public space, in this case the internet
13- Pressed, or tapped, a button; referring to older technology where significant force was required to press much larger buttons
14- To save aural and visual information. Not a large flat circle with engravings that encoded aural information
15- In reference to a digital visual issue wherein data was compressed or encoded incorrectly. In this case, it was intentionally done
16- Si\1]) loaded the data and spliced out the “glitch”\15]) to help\5]) Dee\3]) determine what was causing it
17- A collection of images organized in a specific way
18- Specifically, in Dee’s\3]) chronological experience of collecting visual references of Si’s\1]) visits. Some number of the images were from Si’s\1]) chronological future. Traveling\2]) can be weird.
19- The act of traveling to, arriving and only temporarily staying at, another location
20- The collage\17]) in this instance was organized specifically to form a series of letters that, when put together in the proper order and with appropriate kerning\33]), form a discernable word
21- This is a pun aimed at the fact that Si\1]) is a time traveler\2]) and that both she\1]) and Dee\3]) meet “out of order” with respect to their\10]) individual timelines
22- The touching of the outward flappy parts of one’s mouth to the outward flappy parts of another’s mouth
23- Denoting that this is a “nickname”, or shortened form of, a legal name
24- Si’s\1]) full name is, as of yet, unknown to the reader and to the writer. Or, if it has been fully spelled out in a past chapter, the writer was too lazy as of this time to find it
25- TimeJumpTM’s competitor is MeanTime Inc
26- Time travel necessitates space travel as the planet is moving
27- The official job title of Dee\3]) at the cafe\28]), though the job description included “other duties as assigned”
28- An interdimensional tea and coffee shop wherein beings from all across multiple realities can come in and get a nice cup of tea. The entrance only materializes on Fridays
29- The slogan was invented by Dee\3]) near the end of her life, which coincided with the beginning of the cafe. This is considered a spoiler as neither event has been formally written yet
30- An interdimensional big box retail store wherein consumers can buy bulk products at bulk prices. Membership is required. A hot dog and soda will always cost the local equivalent of $1.50
31- Merriam-Webster, Incorporated is an American company that publishes reference books and is mostly known for its dictionaries. - Wikipedia\32])
32- Wikipedia is a free online encyclopedia written and maintained by a community of volunteers - Wikipedia
33- Spacing between letters
34- Ta-da!
----------------
WC: 750/750
All crit/feedback welcome!
r/ZLErikson
Notes:
- Trope: Bad influencer - Dee is very bad at social media
- Genre: Bad romance - the couple make a romance pun
- Skill/Constraint:
Dee puts on a fake valley girl accentCut for words - The Fun Tea Friday Cafe and many of its characters have been written about before
4
u/mysteryrouge 6d ago
I don't know whether to be impressed or afraid of this. It's a tiny story with a million footnotes, which is definitely an interesting and cool format, but also kinda hard to follow along (especially when the footnotes reference other footnotes in random order).
I think some of those footnote citings within footnotes are less needed here, like we have Si and Dee mentioned constantly, with reference to their corresponding footnote, but I don't think that's necessary here because unless you have five versions of each character (and if you did, I feel like you'd have a footnote addressing that) it would be assumed each mention after the first would be to that same character.
Ta-da as a footnote. Lol. Some of these footnotes are funny though.
2
u/ZLErikson 6d ago
Howdy Rouge!
Thanks for the feedback. I'm glad I was able to inspire feelings, whether they were impressed or fear :P Also happy to see you enjoyed this experimental attempt. I doubt i'm gonna do this format again, but it was a fun lark!
Thanks for reading
2
u/AmeliaLP 4d ago
Hi, very weird and unique bit of writing you've got here. It confused me during campfire and still does now after a few re-reads. It's always fun to see something a bit different. Very creative, good words.
1
u/ZLErikson 4d ago
Hi Amelia!
Thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you enjoyed the unorthodox, experimental, and rather silly style :p I doubt I'll be doing it again any time soon XD
Thanks for reading!
6
u/Jay_Pederson r/JayPederson 7d ago
"Ecko!" my girlfriend, Lizzy, shouted.
We've been dating since I was 18. I used to live in...a...
...shelter. Parents kicked me out, worked at McDonalds, lived and worked since then. One day, I took a shot at a dating app. Lizzy and I have been together since. She has her own place; she's a Kick streamer.
Walking in, "yeah babe?" At her PC, 1:37 P.M. (she streams at 2/5 PST/ET). Her mic is a HyperX Quadcast; bright as shit when it's on.
"Did you send the invite to XEnvityR?"
"Oh, right!" I pulled out my phone and texted 'Kellan', Liz wants to do a crossover soon. "Sent," I walked up to hug her--
"What?" she asked.
"I...just sent--"
"That was for today!"
I swallowed, "babe? Calm down."
She stood, "don't talk back."
I took a step.
"That was the big event for today! I make the money!" It's true; I've seen how much a Raid: Shadow Legends sponsorship makes. "You work at McDonalds."
"I'm in college--"
"Who's paying for that?"
"M--me?"
"Without me?" she scoffed, "do you really think you'd be there?"
"The..."
"Shelter?" she asked.
I never told her..."how did you know...?"
"Please, some homeless kid lucks out on money? Fuck no--my manager told me to date you." she scoffed, "you were cute enough, but was all 'rescuing--"
"Rescuing?" I echoed.
"a homeless shit would look good," she laughed, "so I did. Further my career."
"I..." I felt a tear fall from my eye.
"Let's be honest," she walked up, stroking my cheek, "without a car?"
"I can walk..."
"C'mon, be honest--who saved you?"
I swallowed, looking at the ground.
"Good boy...now, next time, do your one fucking job, okay?"
I nodded. "I love you..." I said quietly.
She smiled, but walked back to her chair.
"B--babe?" I asked.
"No..." she said.
"What?" I asked.
"No!" she turned, "NO! Did you know!?"
"Kn--know what?"
"Tell them it was a joke!"
"'them'?"
I felt my phone vibrate, Kellan had texted me get out I called the cops on her. "You were streaming!?"
She grabbed a vase and--
I dodged it, heart pounding, I ran out the room then outside.
I didn't have my key, just my phone and wallet--not that the key'd be useful, as two cop cars arrived. "Evening...oh, you're from that streamer, right?"
"Y--" I swallowed "yeah..."
Lizzy ran outside, then immediately back in, locking the door behind her.
"We were already coming over," a male cop--who had a valley girl accent somehow!? "was watching the stream and uh--well, first was the noise complaint, actually..."
"She started early..." I muttered. "I saw the mic but..." I swallowed, I just assumed she was playing with friends.
"Anyway, uh..." a female Officer began, "she's likely getting arrested for that--she threw something at you, clear open-and-shut attempt at harm, coupled with how she treated you--"
"She's been treating me like that when I make mistakes..." I said quietly.
The two looked at each other, "why didn't you call sooner?"
"I..." breath, "...never was in a relationship, her brand was all...positivity, and...I just...assumed it was...normal...and leaving her meant..." pause.
They were able to arrest her. I walked inside after, but it felt...wrong. I went to the park, sitting on a bench.
Hey! Kellan texted me, Sucks what happened.
I sighed, yeah.
She plead guilty. Need a place to stay?
I smiled Yes! How much?
Well, two hundred. She said you were clean and polite, shouldn't have too much trouble.
She said that?
Or, you could do a stream with me.
Huh? Why? How does that help me?
Well, her career's probably over, barring massive rebranding. Abusive hypocrite like Ellen doesn't go well. So, stream, tell the world everything she did to you, that's viral, doesn't really hurt her if we're honest, and I get a big payday.
That... seems wrong?
Sure but I'll let you stay free. If you'd rather pay rent you can.
I took a breath. But Lizzy.
Ecko be honest; do you really want to take the side of the woman who abused you?
I felt a tear well up.
It's immoral , he continued, but we have a chance to profit hell I'll help you start up a channel maybe you'll get somewhere too.
I started typing no, I love her and as I dropped my phone, breaking into tears. Picked it up, delete all,
okay
3
u/Jay_Pederson r/JayPederson 7d ago
WC:750
I feel kinda bad for writing this one
this was heavily edited original version had more with the cops for example but decided I'd rather have the ending so had to cut a bit.
2
u/QTFroame 4d ago
Hey Jay! Think the emotional beats work well here! Though, I think a time skip would have worked for this situation, considering the pleading guilty and the aftermath being distinct enough to be separated. The tension here is good. I do wonder if potentially there is a bit of superfluous information here (such as her being a kick streamer, which would likely conflict with her brand of positivity now that I think of it) that could have been used to further the story as a whole. But, I had a good time reading it.
5
u/Tregonial 5d ago
Tryna put da Love into Lovecraft
Ashley had the lighting all set up for her latest video - “Why Women Fall in Love with Monsters”. Her script was ready. She had an ideal couple coming in for her show. A young woman and her tentacle monster boyfriend. The beauty and the beast. The kind, smart woman trying to fix him, to bring out the best in a hideous creature that could kill with a single stare.
Except Elvari turned out to be an eldritch goober who wore a human face, and was neither a handsome squidward she could make memes of, nor a terrifying abomination with anger management issues. He made funny faces and was constantly snacking. Kat was no damsel in distress, but someone who clearly called the shots because she stopped him from emptying a bowl of candy into his mouth.
Whatever, Ashley figured she could still convince them to play into her script.
“Hey yea, you go girl! Yea you show him some manners!” She grabbed a roll of newspaper and hit a life-sized anime figure in her recording room. “You gotta beat some sense into him!”
They both looked at her with bewildered stares. Kat frowned and crossed her arms while Elvari dropped all the remaining candy on the floor, the mouths on his tentacles vacuuming them up.
“Oh like, anyway, never mind. I’m Ashley Reed,” she limp-wristed dismissively with a haughty expression. You might have seen a vid or two from AshleyReads? You know, like I’m on Booktok. Welcome to an episode of smexy dark romances with Ashley? Where it gets sooo monstrous, dangerous, maybe poisonous too. Like you can suck on my blood, baby.”
“I…don’t think we roll like that?” The octopoid deity blinked in confusion. “I’m not a vampire, and I prefer goat’s blood.”
“Whatever, hmph. Not gonna destroy my sanity? Or hers? You know, like your girlfriend here? Drive her crazy, go ham, go feral on that bitch? Oh yea, and could you like do your eldritch face? This pretty boy look doesn’t fit this episode. Yea you go wiggle those tentacles. They sure can go places! Orifices and—”
“Let’s not go there,” Kat cut her off, a hint of frustration bleeding into her voice. “Is this a serious interview, or are you setting us up for some toxic romance displays?”
Ashley glowered at her. “You never had fantasies of letting him ravage you?”
“No.”
She turned her attention to Elvari. “You never had dreams of sticking your noodles into—”
“No!” The eldritch horror was horrified, his tentacles waggling in discomfort. “Why are you thinking of such things? I can see what’s in your mind, and girl, you need to get your mind out of the gutter. If not, I might have to break out the brain bleach. For me.”
“Gee, man, why so conservative? Like, I’m covering monstrous romance with monsters. You see those Booktok novels? There’s the totally handsome mafia boyfriend who is fighting his inner demons. Pretty on the outside, monstrous on the inside. There’s also those monster boyfriends. Monstrous on the inside, but kind on the inside. So, this my new niche, yeah? Monster boyfriends who do behave like the monsters they are.”
“That sounds like material for horror, not romance. I think you have the wrong person?” Elvari waved his appendages about. “I’m a friendly neighbourhood eldritch deity, not the evil kind trying to devour humanity and consume all life in this world. Or enslave my lover to my will. Could we just be ourselves and you stop trying to incite us into flying more red flags than the Soviet Union?”
“That doesn’t get views.” Ashley pouted, jabbing a finger at him. “People want drama. Girls want their bad boys. Algorithms want their ragebait. C’mon, nice guys don’t score chicks, so I’m totally gonna ask you to put back that horror in eldritch horror.”
“That’s it, we’re leaving,” Kat abruptly rose from her seat. “You delete whatever footage you have and we pretend we never met.”
“Wait, wait, let’s rewind and start again,” Ashley pleaded. “I did not plan all this to come away with no video. Lemme pivot real quick. This video is now gonna be Putting da Love in Lovecraft. Elvari is quite the chadhulhu here and—”
“What.”
“Bro, it's a compliment. Also a play on Cthulhu? Like Cutehulhu in that genderbent Lovecraftian dating sim? I’m tryna salvage this, make this work. So, can we do this?”
“Sure…” the tentacle god answered. “But I’ll fetch the brain bleach just in case.”
Word Count: 749 words.
9
u/JKHmattox 7d ago
A Southpaw in the Bronx
It was the top of the eighth. Yankee Stadium. October and the Sox were down by one. They had one out, and a runner leading off second looking for home. I threw my next warm-up. It registered a person best — eighty-five.
The phone rang in the corner. Joey Templeton was done.
A trainer answered as the conference continued on the mound. Another practice throw. Smack. This time my pitch was clocked at eighty-eight.
“Alright skip.” The trainer sighed. “I'll send her in.”
Hanging up the receiver, the trainer waved me over. He held out his hand and I relinquished the ball. He nodded and I smiled. My postseason debut had come.
The house lights dimmed as the announcer spooled up his introduction. “Please welcome, number thirty-three — The Blonde Bomber herself — Aaamber “Mac” McMuurphy!”
The wall opened and I trotted onto the legacy built by Mantel, Ruth and Gerhig. It was sacrilege. An unholy place. For a girl who grew up in Southie, I was the turncoat in pinstripes back home.
Behind the bullpen, a gaggle of teens erupted in high-pitch joy. They whistled and shouted. Someone like them was about to take on one of the hottest bats in the league.
After a group meeting at the center of the universe, our manager Tommy handed me the game ball. “No mercy, Mac.”
He strode to the dugout, his hat down low. It was only me and my catcher Ted Norman now.
“This guy likes to hug the plate, Amber. Makes you pitch to the outside — let's give him some fucking chin music, show ‘em who's house this is.”
I nodded, my nerves hidden behind a frown of stone.
“One pitch at a time, Amber...”
He yanked his facemask down and turned towards home plate. Watching him trot, my gaze found the batter's, his eyes glaring at me. Martin Jensen. Shortstop for Boston, and formally my rumored summertime fling. It was one night, nothing happened, yet he never corrected the reporters when they assumed.
Ted settled in, his creaking knees far past their prime. I shrugged off his first ask, and the second before we agreed. With seconds left, I wound up and chucked a knuckleball straight at Martin Jensen's jaw.
“BALL!” shouted the umpire.
Martin brushed the dirt from his chest, his glare unmoving as he picked himself unscathed up off the ground.
Alright Teddy I whispered to myself. What's it gonna be?
Two fingers, no, now four. That was our call, a shifting sinker just above the plate. I set and delivered an off-speed pitch that sent Marin chasing a ghost out and away.
“STRIKE!”
The epicenter of the Bronx roared to life as Ted returned the ball.
One-and-one, the count was tied as Ted gave me the signal. I shook my head. Nah. Okay, let's try that old man. I nodded and pulled my glove to my face.
I swooped my left arm low and to the side, the ball tracing inwards, sailing past Martin's knees.
“CRACK!”
The ball rocketed down the third base line foul. Ted pointed his glove, a sagely gesture meaning I needed to calm down. Martin spat with contempt. He was behind, one-and-two.
The man whom I'd dated once stepped back, pointing his bat at the left field wall. The crowd hissed and booed. My teeth clenched remembering the April night he sent my heater sailing out of Fenway over the green wall.
Ted shook his head. No, don't do it kid, his body seemed to scream. He was calling for me to play it safe. Make Martin chase another pitch across the outside of the plate. I disagreed. He insisted.
Okay, fine.
The world stood still as my signature flat iron pitch tumbled towards the catcher's mit.
Martin leaned in, leveling his bat into a bunt. Fuck! The ball bubbled away, pinging awkwardly towards first base. I scrambled, lowering my glove. Scooped, turned, but my throw didn't make it in time.
“SAFE!”
A bomb dropped on 161st street. All eyes were looking at me as Martin led off his base. He grinned widely, winking and blowing me a mocking kiss. Ted had seen enough, and he was on a return trip back to the mound.
“Amber, focus — don't let that prick get inside your head.”
“Ted… what do-”
“We take the wind outta their sails, okay — low and slow kid, the next guy will bat straight into a 4-6-3 double play, trust me.”
I did, and unsurprisingly the tired old guy was right.