I work in a shared Google Drive. Our whole team uses it. Everyone has edit access. It's always worked fine.

Until "Janet" joined 6 months ago.

The first time, a report I'd worked on for a week vanished. I thought I'd accidentally deleted it. Recovered it from trash. No big deal.

Then it happened again. And again. My design mockups. My client briefs. My monthly forecasts. They kept disappearing.

I asked the team: "Is anyone else losing files?" No one else had this issue. Just me.

I started to suspect Janet. She's the kind of person who never admits mistakes. Everything is always someone else's fault. She also has zero technical skills — she once asked me how to "right-click."

But I had no proof. Until last week.

I created a test file. I named it "Final_Report_Q3_DO_NOT_DELETE." I put a tiny hidden tab in the spreadsheet that tracked every view, every edit, every delete — with timestamps and user emails.

I left it in the shared folder. I waited.

Yesterday, the file was gone. I checked the hidden log.

Janet had opened the file at 9:47 AM. She viewed it. She deleted it at 9:52 AM. Then she "accidentally" deleted it from the trash too.

I had everything. Timestamps. Her email. The full log.

I took screenshots. I walked to my manager's office. I showed him everything.

He called Janet in. I wasn't there, but I heard her voice through the wall: "I didn't! It must have been a glitch!"

Then silence. My manager must have shown her the proof.

She came out 15 minutes later. She didn't look at me. She went straight to her desk and packed her bag. Left early for the day.

This morning, Janet's edit access was revoked. She has to request permission for every single file.

She hasn't spoken to me since.

Fine by me.

Post:

I’m 19F and recently started working at a new job. One of my coworkers is 40M. He used to be a high school art teacher but is currently taking a break from teaching. I was never his student and we had never met before working together.

We originally started texting because I have another job, and he wanted to buy a gift for his daughter from there. After that, though, he continued texting me randomly. On his day off, he asked me how work was, and at one point said he was “sooo looking forward to lunch.”

There have also been several comments about how young/small I am. He saw me eating a kids meal and asked if I always eat kids meals, and when I said no, he said I looked like I did. He saw my backpack and joked, “What’s in there, your little uniform?” He saw me trying on shoes and asked if I wore kids sizes. At one point he told me I looked like a kid.

After we were texting about my weird school history, he asked me how old I was. I said 19 and he responded, “You sooo young.”

Another thing that stood out to me: he was supposed to pick something up from me and said, “I didn’t want to just pull up and your dude shoot me hahaha.” This made me wonder if he was indirectly trying to find out whether I have a boyfriend/live with a boyfriend.

Individually, I know all of these things could just be jokes or normal coworker friendliness. But together, I’m wondering if he might be subtly testing the waters while keeping everything ambiguous enough to pass it off as joking.

I’m not romantically interested in him(just physical), so this isn’t me hoping he’s into me.(but hoping he is at the same time lol)I’m genuinely curious how other people would interpret this behavior. Am I reading way too much into it, or do you think he’s checking whether I’m available/interested?

I am very confused. So my friend (33F) and I (29M) at my job had a serious conversation at work. For some reason she got pissed/jealous and was thinking I was hitting on her co-worker who has a husband and two kids. The thing is her co-worker and I knew of each other 3 or 4 months before she got hired and she seen us talk numerous times. WE NEVER EXHANGED CONTACT INFORMATION, only talked at work.

So my friend blocked me on everything for at least two-three weeks until I actually went up to her to have a conversation. The weird part is she asked married people about how they feel with me talking to her co-worker as a friend. The reason why I am confused is because if we are just friends why would she get jealous or feel a type of way of me communicating with her co-worker who I knew way before her? Not to mention my friend and I hang outside of work and she the one who gave me her number. I never asked for it. We don't even text everyday like once or twice a week and we talk about each personal life and etc. I'm just confused because my friend and I mesh really well together and enjoy each others company and have a lot in common and different in ways also but we always try to make time for each other. I just don't want to shun the co-worker because she did nothing wrong to me. So im wondering if my friend has feelings for me and if so how would I approach it?

I recently started a new job and I met my colleagues, they’re all pretty chill. One of them… she is nice however I remember the first day we met, she kept staring at me while we were both working, a while later I caught her staring at me. The next day I come in and she stares at me again, she complimented me saying “You’re so pretty!” I said “aw thanks” thinking it was a one off compliment.

Every time we interact she looks at my body… up and down it looks like she’s envious of me. A couple days ago I come into work and she asks how I was, I responded “I’m good, how are you?” She doesn’t even answer my question and she goes “You look so good” whilst staring at me and my body.

Today I come into work and she asks “how are you… you look great”. I feel uncomfortable now that it’s perpetual, I don’t even know what to do in this situation.

I (25F) had a crush on my co-worker (25M) since the moment he joined my team. I recently left that job, but for over a year, we honestly developed a good friendship with some flirting here and there. We found ourselves having deep 1:1 conversations, and he was genuinely one of my biggest supporters at work (he inspired me to go chase my dreams at this new job I'm at actually while saying he'd miss me so much).

He'd be flirty, save me snacks, sit in my cube on the ground next to me and talk for hours, drop me off for things after work, and even came in on his day off for my last day. He was my work husband and my person Monday to Friday.

He broke up with his long-term gf right around when we met; I even saw him on Tinder within the first few months of knowing him (very weird to know how someone looks shirtless while next to them in a Serious Meeting). I also knew he was sleeping around, and I didn't react super smoothly when he brought it up to ask for advice, so we never talked about dating afterwards. Nothing really escalated since, and I feel like I was in a stalemate.

Anyways, he told me he was "locking in" and not dating anyone earlier this year since he was figuring himself out. After leaving the job, we would text and call occasionally. He never really made plans to hang out in person, though, just calling and texting after I told him we should meet up sometime.

I moved on the past few months, honestly, but my friends told me to invite him to bar-hopping this past weekend with a large group. He was visiting family 1.5 hours away but surprisingly showed up, and this is why I am back here...

We played pool, caught up on work, danced in the club together, and introduced him to my friends. Everyone really liked him...especially this one random girl I didn't know. She hovered over him at every bar and club we went to, chatting with him the moment I went to talk to someone else. I felt possessive weirdly. Our mutual was there and flagged the girl to him, but he said didn't care and was just being nice. The girl finally left after he politely let her down and then he stayed the entire night with me until it was my friend group and him left at 1am. My friend invited him to his place for to chill afterwards but he said he was tired so we hugged and said our goodbyes, then he texted me at 3am thanking me for a great night. That's where we left it yesterday.

I need some advice since I am super avoidant to begin with. Like for over a year, I befriended someone with the small hope of something coming out of it but I have just been confused/scared the whole time. I keep thinking of "if he wanted to, he would" in terms of escalating things, and everyone has been telling me to take initiative but idk if I should ruin the friendship? He isn't my best friend by any means but I feel like the reason I am putting in any effort at all is because of that little flutter of hope still UGH!

I recently joined a new company 2 weeks ago (this is my 3rd week) and already have to deal with romance issues... There was this guy who treated me extremely well, would go above and beyond to help me, and he was the first person who was friendly to me. It persisted and happened for 2 weeks and slowly I grew attached to him. He would do things like getting lunch together, providing me with updates on his whereabouts (which was completely unnecessary) and even waited for the bus with me while missing his own. And he even took the time off to chat with me about work related issues (that means delaying his own and sacrificing his work time)

So naturally I had slight feelings for him. He was a gentlemen too and did things like a boyfriend would and I even noticed colleagues teasing him. But just recently he asked me through text if I was single and if my partner would be upset that we texted too much. I told him not to worry and I was single. He then revealed that he was married. Married!!! Why are men like this???? Just leave me alone in the first place! What do I do at this point because I kinda need him for my job (to teach me and help me get ahead in my career since im new to the industry) Please give any advise on how I should interact with him from here on!!

Okay so I managed to get a small job for 2 weeks, and one of my coworkers is really good looking, and I think he likes me back but the job included moving through out the seasons, he's leaving and I might never see him again, but we got really close and I was gonna tell him how I feel but he kissed another girl and today is his last day here but I can't tell if he did it to get at me or not

The workplace can be a fertile environment for limerence, because it combines many of the ingredients that limerence feeds on: repeated exposure, intermittent reinforcement, emotional intimacy, uncertainty, idealisation, novelty, and a restricted relationship context.
The important distinction is that the workplace doesn't cause limerence. Rather, it can create conditions in which an existing attachment vulnerability, unmet need, or susceptibility to fantasy can become intensely activated

👇

Why the workplace is fertile ground for infatuation
There are a number of reasons why the conditions of the typical workplace help infatuations develop.
First, there is simple proximity. You are thrown together with people who you are obliged to spend time with, and some of them are bound to be attractive.
Second, there is the bonding function of a common purpose. Typically, work colleagues go through shared trials, shared triumphs and disasters, shared gossip, shared complaints about management (they are awful, aren’t they?), and simple shared experiences. This can build camaraderie and familiarity, and bonds of social attachment.
Third, there is the likelihood of favouritism. By that I don’t mean a biased boss (although that’s always possible), but the feeling of stronger attachment to some co-workers than others. Workplaces can be cliquey, and we tend to spend more time with the people we feel more affinity for. They become close colleagues.

I work as one of the few girls on the shop in a male dominated field. I'm also one of the youngest (20) who got hired on after an internship. Needless to say, I got alot of attention very quickly because I stood out. Dispite how quiet I am, everyone knew who I was from the start. I am no genius or really anything genetically special, however I am highly motivated, determined and inquisitive so I was either loved or hated no in between.

I now work in a team of 8 people and one colleague (male 20) has been giving me difficulties to work around. At first we were kinda work buddies. We would joke around and overall, had each other's backs. We were helpful to each other and cheered each other on. After a while, the light hearted jokes started becoming personal and targeted. When I trained with him and made zero mistakes I found out he was telling my team lead that I have no idea what I'm doing and im a liability to work with. My team lead evaluated me and realized I knew exactly what I was doing and was ready work independently. We talked about it and even he admitted that my colleague might view view me as competition.

I have absolutely no problem facing construction criticism because its my job, however it none of his "concerns" were communicated to me nor were they even true.

Other than this, this colleague is always watching me and interupts my conversations with other people to either insult me or make me look bad. He's developed this strange "push and pull" dynamic where one second hes being somewhat vulnerable and admitting his anger issues, discussing his plans to self improvement and career goals, then the next second hes making back handed comments to me, talking behind my back, interrupting me and claiming " I overthink, overcomplicate everything, only get attention for my looks." Even in his calmer state, I've noticed he'll gather information from me by asking what classes im taking, when ill finish my degree, my side gigs, my exact career goals.

I understand you're only reading a glimpse of the matter, but am I overthinking this? He openly wants to move up to a leadership role and after one conversation where he said that I "advance quickly" it feels like he's trying to knock me down.

Has anyone delt with similar colleagues?

Hi! This is my first post so I hope I'm doing it correctly 🫣 I (F32) started a new job about 2 months ago. I have a coworker (M35) who I work very closely with. Our dynamic immediately started out as playful banter where we kind of pick on each other. I love people like that where I can be my sarcastic self and not worry about hurting feelings. He is a good cook and loves to bring food in but as a vegetarian I tread lightly on telling people and avoided telling him until it came up again when he asked me to try something. The man went home and made a vegetarian meal for me (pasta with homemade sauce and garlic bread). The food exchanges continue and accelerate where I start sneaking him candy/food as well. He asked me if I wanted a donut one day and when I went to take one I noticed there was only two in the bag. Made me think he intentionally bought two, one for him and one for me? Then he made me pizza on my most stressful work day when he knows I don't have time to stop and eat. I catch him staring literally all the time and he doesn't look away but I'm not sure if it's just who he is or if it's directed specifically at me. It makes me a little uncomfy because I hate being perceived so much 😅 I do believe he seeks me out because I do it too but idk if I'm reading into things too much. Am I just a coworker he feels comfortable with? When your coworkers you do see each other more than family so you do tend to bond easily. I did ask him why he's so nice to me when he brought me pizza and he ignored it. He did also say once that I was making him flustered. if you think he likes me how should I go about this? Ask for his number? Ask to hang out? I get kinda sad that I have to go 4 days in a row without seeing/talking to him. Any advice on how to proceed would be helpful 🙏🏻

I recently started a new job and an older guy (36) was flirting with me (22). I told him I have a fiance, and his response was “oh, so I missed my chance.” A week later I find out he has a baby on the way with a long term gf. I see him flirt with other college girls too, and the whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable

Problem/Goal: Share ko lang because I honestly don’t know anymore how to process this situation.

Content: I have a coworker whom I’ve known for almost 10 years. We worked together before, travelled to different places together, and became pretty close.

At one point, he was looking for a boarding house, and chated me if theres available for him. We ended up as boardmates, just the two of us sharing a room.

Our setup became drinking almost every night while talking about work, life, and random things. One thing he said stuck with me: “Lagi kitang naiisip, pare.”

At first, wala lang sa akin.
But eventually, I fell for him. 😅

Then I got promoted and transferred to another branch. He stayed in our old branch for more than a year until that branch eventually closed. Employees were given options where to transfer, and he ended up choosing the branch where I was promoted.

So suddenly, my boardmate and close friend became someone who was under my supervision.

That’s when things started getting complicated.

I became stricter because I was doing my job as a leader. I was following management and trying my best to do my responsibilities properly. But I understand that from his perspective, I probably became difficult to deal with. He may have felt controlled or judged by me after I became his superior.

We started having conflicts almost every day because of work, and unfortunately, whatever happened at work followed us home.

Then there was a girl involved.

I got jealous, although I never openly admitted it at the time. He denied that there was anything going on between them, but I could feel that something was different. What also bothered me was that the girl was already in a relationship.

His birthday came, and he didn’t invite me even though we were literally living in the same house.

I took that personally.

Eventually, things got so bad that I transferred to another branch. The constant conflict was already affecting my career and my mental health.

Previous Attempt: I still tried to fix our relationship.

I approached him. I tried to talk things out. I gave him gifts. He didn’t use them, and eventually he returned one of them. That was the last time I gave him anything. I told myself I wouldn’t do it again.

So I started distancing myself. I thought maybe giving each other space would be better for both of us.

But at some point, he also blocked me on all social media platforms. I was cut off from the usual ways we communicated outside the house. That made everything feel even more final.

We were still living under the same roof, but outside the house, he had basically removed me from his life. Then one night, I got extremely drunk.

He was already about to sleep, but I finally gathered enough courage to talk to him. I asked if he wanted to talk about everything that happened between us and whether there was still a possibility of fixing our friendship. I told him I was okay whether he wanted to leave or stay. I just wanted us to clear things up.

I even asked him if he wanted to talk about this unfinished business. He clearly said no. I got angry and told him he was being insensitive and childish. I told him he always invalidated my feelings. He was laughing while I was talking to him, which made me even angrier because I was genuinely hurt.

Then the topic about the girl came up again, and he got so angry that he said he wanted to punch me.
And then I finally admitted what I had been keeping to myself. I told him, “Mahal na mahal kita.” He asked me to repeat it. So I did. I told him again that I loved him very much. Then eventually, he told me to stop. That hurt more than I expected.

After everything, I asked him, “So strangers na ba tayo?” He said yes. I told myself I just had to absorb that. But then he said I didn’t understand. He said “strangers can become friends but it woult take time.” He also thanked me for letting him stay in the boarding house. I told him not to mind it because technically, the place isn’t mine either. We’re both renters.

And now here I am.
We’re still living in the same house.
We’ve known each other for almost 10 years.

And somehow, after everything—from being friends, travelling together, drinking together, becoming boardmates, me falling for him, becoming his superior, fighting constantly, trying to fix things, being blocked on social media, and finally admitting that I loved him—we’re now strangers.

I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this.
Maybe perspective. Maybe someone who’s been through something similar. Or maybe I just need to hear from people outside this situation: Was there still something worth saving here, or should I finally accept that this relationship has run its course?

Let me tell you about my coworker. I will call her Carol.

We are the only two people in our position who support the massive campus that we work on. That said, we do separate work and the majority of my projects don’t involve her.

The other day, I was meeting with the campus security manager and the regional security manager (he works on campus for some reason). She wasn’t invited to this meeting because she’s not on the committee we were discussing. Within a few minutes, I hear her walking back and forth past my cubicle. Each time she went past my screen wasn’t showing who was on the call. She can’t see my meeting details via my calendar because she only has access to see that I’m unavailable. What does Carol do? Carol barges into my cubicle to hand me a piece of junk mail. Then proceeds to stare at my screen and do this weird growl things she does.

The junk mail in question had been sitting in the inbox all day. As in when I got to work at 7:45am it was sitting there. This meeting was at 1:30pm. So, you’re telling me that you suddenly just had to give this to me at this very moment? Okay, Carol.

I am so tired of being annoyed about this. Do you think this is the first time she has done this exact thing? No. No, it is not. At least 7-10 times this year. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but it is. And I’m on camera every single time!

Bruh, yesterday was it. I went to her cubicle (we don’t sit close together). The following conversation was had.

OP (M): why did you come into my cubicle to give me junk mail?

C: (hella shocked bc I tend to let things slide) because it’s addressed to you.

M: Carol, I need you to stop coming into my cubicle when I’m in a meeting. I was very clearly in a meeting. You’ve done it several times, and I do not like that.

C: snorts incredulously but doesn’t respond

M: Thank you!! (Goes to bathroom)

Nothing is said for the rest of the day. She leaves at 4pm, so it’s not like it was awkward. That was Monday.

She is 61. I am so ready to get away from herrrrrr!