I’ve always been fascinated by the small psychological things that can completely change the outcome of a conversation.

So I recently put together a short book called 21 Psychological Tricks to Influence Anyone.

It’s not meant to be a traditional psychology textbook. I wanted it to be a practical, modern field guide — short, visual, and focused on techniques you can actually recognize and use.

One of the techniques I cover is the illusion of choice.

Instead of asking someone:

“Do you want to do this?”

you give them two acceptable options:

“Would you prefer A or B?”

The interesting part is that you're not necessarily taking away their freedom to choose. You're changing the psychological frame of the decision.

In negotiation, communication, sales, and even everyday conversations, the way choices are presented can sometimes matter as much as the choices themselves.

That’s one of 21 techniques I explore in the book.

I’m the author, so obviously I’m biased 😄 — but I genuinely enjoyed putting this together.

The book is designed to be premium, modern, and highly visual, rather than another wall of text.

Just wanted to share it here because persuasion and negotiation overlap in some pretty interesting ways.

I recently submitted my resignation from a management position where I was making $105k.
Shortly afterward, a VP reached out to me personally and told me the company really values me and wants to keep me. Without me asking for additional compensation, he offered to increase my salary immediately to $115k and offered to transfer me back to a location where I previously worked and was much happier. He also told me I could stay at that location indefinitely if that’s what it takes to keep me.
I haven’t withdrawn my resignation or accepted the counteroffer yet.
Here’s where I’m debating whether to negotiate further.
I have another potential opportunity working for a family business. Compensation isn’t finalized yet, so I don’t want to misrepresent it as a firm offer, but we’re discussing around $40/hour, which would be approximately $83k/year. I would also be working roughly 40 hours/week and could live at home rent-free.
If I stay with my current employer and accept the transfer, I’d be moving back to an area where my previous rent was about $2,400/month. My current management job also averages around 60 hours/week. The company would cover my relocation expenses.
I genuinely liked working at the location they’re offering to send me back to, so I’m seriously considering staying. This isn’t just an attempt to squeeze my employer for money.
Given the difference in housing costs and hours, I’m considering asking whether there’s additional flexibility above $115k. If they ask me for a number, I’m thinking about asking for **$125k**, with the understanding that they may counter around $120k.
My concern is that they already voluntarily gave me a nearly 10% raise, so I don’t want to come across as ungrateful or overplay my leverage.
**Would you negotiate again in this situation? Is $125k a reasonable opening ask after they already moved from $105k to $115k, or would you take the $115k and not push it?**
Also, would you mention the specifics of the competing family-business opportunity ($83k, no rent, \~40 hours/week), or simply say you have another opportunity that makes the financial comparison closer than the salaries suggest?

I recently received an offer from Capgemini USA for a Data Engineer position. I have around 3 years of experience in Data Engineering, and the offer is $75K base salary + full-time benefits.

The position is hybrid, with NYC as the base location. However, HR told me that I likely won't be staying in NYC for very long. Once I am assigned to a client project, I may need to relocate to the client's location depending on the project requirements.

Currently, I am working remotely as a W-2 contractor for a small company and making around $90K/year. One thing to clarify is that I am currently working 25 hours per week due to limited available billing hours at my current company, but the annualized compensation is still around $90K based on my current rate. So financially, I'm doing well relative to the number of hours I'm working.

The main downside of my current role is that I don't feel like I'm learning or growing much, and since it's a contract position with limited billing hours, I'm also uncertain about how long the opportunity will last.

So I'm trying to decide between:

• Capgemini: $75K + benefits, full-time, potentially better career growth/learning, but hybrid/client relocation and lower base salary.
• Current job (W-2 contractor): ~$90K, fully remote, but limited growth and less job stability because it's a contract.

When I received the Capgemini offer, I was working with a tight timeline, so I accepted the $75K offer so we could move forward. This happened about one month ago.

Now that some time has passed, I'm wondering: Is it still reasonable to negotiate the salary after accepting the offer? With 3 years of experience, would asking for $85K be reasonable, or would it be too late at this point?

I'm currently on F-1 STEM OPT, which started last month. One of my concerns is future H-1B sponsorship. I've heard that Capgemini may not enter employees into the H-1B lottery immediately and sometimes waits until later in the STEM OPT period.

For anyone currently working at Capgemini or who has gone through this situation:

1. Does Capgemini typically sponsor/enter STEM OPT employees in the H-1B lottery from the beginning, or do they wait until a later year of STEM OPT?
2. Is $75K reasonable for this role with ~3 years of experience?
3. Is it still possible/appropriate to negotiate after accepting the offer one month ago?
4. Would you choose Capgemini for the career growth and stability, or stay with the $90K remote contract?

Would really appreciate advice from you all!

I just had a recruiter screening with another big 4 company. I’ve been at their competitor for over 4 years in a coordinator position and with my base + OT, I make over 90k. The recruiter gave me a range of 70-80k and said she can confidently say that this role won’t offer anything over 90k.
This is for an associate level role and the title is one step above my current role. I seem very qualified for this role and I have been looking for a promotional title change, but due to the compensation, I am debating whether or not I should cancel my interview.
I am extremely comfortable in my current role and have great benefits, but have been disappointed with the lack of promotion in my team.
Any thoughts? Don’t want to waste my time or the interviewers time.

Years ago, I used to work in Architecture. I can recall at least twice in my very early years accompanying my then boss (two different bosses) to a job site or meeting where the client or contractor had an idea differing from my boss’s opinion or expertise. My then boss would talk them into his idea in such a way that in the end they kinda thought it was their own.

It happened right in front of me, but I didn’t understand how it happened. It was a long time ago. I was also young and not great at paying attention to the nuances of how people communicated.

(Probably a good time to mention I’m neurodivergent and also likely have a foot on the spectrum.)

I have read some books on negotiation and debate that really helped. Chris Voss’s “Never Split the Difference” was great. As was Mehdi Hassan’s “Win Every Argument”. I have tried to get into Dale Carnegie, but his methods require too much “positive thinking” for me. 

I have not found a text that covers this form of negotiation I witnessed: “Convincing the other party of your idea in a way that makes them think it was their own.”

Can anyone recommend a book that talks about this - or something like it - and breaks it down?

May naka-try na ba dito mag-“inflate” ng current salary para mas mataas ang negotiation?

Curious lang ako kung may naka-experience na dito na nagsabi ng higher current salary than their actual salary when negotiating with a new company.

For example, actual salary is around 50k pero sinabi na 60k para may leverage sa negotiation.

Naka-help ba talaga siya para ma-increase yung offer? And eventually, hiningan ba kayo ng payslip/COE or other proof?

Just want to hear actual experiences—kung nag-work ba, nag-backfire, or better pa rin maging completely honest. 😅

It's been half a year that I been working in outsourcing firm. My review and salary negotiation day is coming near. But I don't know how to start conversation. I don't wanna be ideal while negotiating. Can you guys suggest me how i can keep my words during salary negotiation.

Why do companies suddenly offer massive pay raise only after an employee resigns, proving they could have paid more all along? Are they trying to price employee down?

My current interest rate is 11.24%. My salary has increased and my credit score has improved to excellent.
I’ve actually received an offer from another bank with a lower interest rate. It’s not the best offer, but I’m planning to request a liability letter from my current bank. If they call and ask why I’m leaving, I’ll mention that I have a lower-rate offer and try to negotiate a better rate with my current bank before making a final decision.
Has anyone tried this approach? Did it work?

I’ve completed 6 months at my current startup and honestly feel I’m underpaid considering the work and responsibilities I’ve taken on.

We’re a very small company with around 10 to 15 employees. Is it normal to ask for a salary revision after 6 months in a startup?

How do you approach the CTO/CEO about it? Do you directly ask for a salary revision, send them a message first, or ask for a performance review?

And realistically, what kind of hike can you expect in this situation and what percentage or any number of i could compare and ask.

A little about me I am one of the founding engineers in the company and i have 3 years of experience + i guess i have lowballed a lot do let me know

Would love to hear from people who’ve been through this and how to go about it .

I’ll complete 5 years of experience next month, but honestly, I feel my career progression is slower than it should be and I’m not sure how to fix it.

A quick background:

- 1st company: 1.5-year bond, stayed 1.9 years. Started as Software Engineer Trainee → Junior Software Engineer.

- 2nd company: Joined at almost the same salary. Got ~10% appraisal after 6 months. Completed a 1-year bond. Later they asked me to sign another bond for the next appraisal, which I refused, so I stayed without an appraisal/designation change.

- Current company: Joined as Software Engineer and have been here almost 2 years. I’ll complete 5 YOE overall next month.

Now I want to ask for Senior Software Engineer + a good hike in the upcoming appraisal. My manager is quite strict, and I feel the appraisal system can be quite political/manipulative, so I want to prepare carefully instead of going into the discussion unprepared.

My bigger concern is my long-term career trajectory. I feel I’m behind people with similar YOE in terms of title, salary and overall positioning.

What would you do in my situation?

- How should I build a strong case for Senior SWE?

- What should I prepare/document before the appraisal?

- How should I negotiate the hike without getting lowballed?

- If my manager says I’m not ready for senior, how should I handle it?

- Should I focus on getting the title internally, switching, or improving skills first?

- How can I position myself over the next 1–2 years to finally get my career on the right track?

Would really appreciate honest advice from people who’ve been in a similar situation.

I have given many interviews, and what I have tried to understand is and also feel very dissatisfied and disappointed that HR has a tendency to consider your last CTC to decide how much hike should one be getting, and unfortunately most of the time, it never goes above 50%.

But someone who is switching jobs after working in a Big4, after even upskilling, after creating more value for himself in the market, you will eventually get that 40-50% or may be to the maximum you can get 70%.

Now the problem is if someone started their career in a company and stayed loyal for 5 years and now he/she wants to grow her salary and also her/his position by switching companies, and we see they always fu!?!king decides how much you should be compensated only AS PER YOUR LAST CTC. After that hike too, one cannot bear proper expenses and meet full financial commitments in Tier 1 cities like Bangalore, Mumbai.

Why should HRs consider last CTC rather compensating that guy as per MARKET STANDARDS which is way higher.

Recently I had completed a 3 mth internship and in the interview round I have reached and given the final 3rd round for PPO interviews, now either I will be selected and given PPO offer or will be eliminated.

But I am not satisfied with the pay structure in the current company coz for same role i.e. a developer role, different colleges had different pays like even when we both students are working in same team, similar work, both came for PPO and if are being selected shld have similar capabilities but the problem is I don't know if I will get the same PPO offer as that guy (atmost there will be 2x diff if he gets 9 lpa I will be placed around 4.5 to 5 lpa) just because in CET for his college 98%ile was required and in my 96%ile i.e. college tag is affecting the package

But I feel if this was company placements round then it would have been a different situation but here we came on our own capabilities so why college tag should matter 😭

So here in this situation I want to try and negotiate something with HR but I want ur guidance on how to approach this situation.

Hello!

I've been with the same company for 7 years, since graduating. Overall, I think I've been treated fairly in terms of compensation, but I'm about to be promoted and would appreciate some perspective.

My comp progression:

• Year 1: 0%
• Year 2: +2.5%
• Year 3: +13% merit + 3% company-wide
• Year 4: +30% after I resigned with another offer; they countered and promoted me to Senior IC
  • learnt that I was put on the high potential employees list prior to me resigning
• Year 5: +10% international assignment
• Year 6: 0% raise, but significant expat benefits
• Year 7: +10% merit

The Year 5 oversea assignment is relevant. When they asked me to extend it, they offered me a local compensation package that I felt was too low. They came back with a second offer, ~20% higher, explicitly saying it was their "maximum offer."

I declined and said I was happy to return home.

This apparently triggered some escalation internally all the way to higher management (HR rep who said it was "the maximum they could offer" was disawoved), and they eventually asked what I wanted. I asked for ~40% more than their initial offer, and they agreed.

Since Year 5, I've also been informally managing 2 people (project oversight, reviews, reporting to my boss).

Now

They're offering me an official management role, managing 6 people, including those 2. I'll also be involved in recruitment/budgeting and act as my boss's local representative for the branch, helping with team coordination, communication from senior management, etc.

My boss says HR is preparing a new compensation package because of the additional responsibilities.

I think I have decent leverage: I've even been told that the local expansion plan is essentially dependent on whether I stay in the country or not.

At the same time, I have no idea whether I negotiated well during the Year 5 situation or whether they simply had no alternative and had to cave.

I'm also someone who really dislikes negotiating and being in the spotlight. When I found out that senior exec had discussed my situation during the Year 5 negotiations, I was actually quite uncomfortable.

Questions

1. Is it normal for salary negotiations to involve multiple rounds of back-and-forth? Is simply rejecting an offer and waiting for them to come back a reasonable strategy?

2. If they localize me, I'll lose my expat benefits. Should I use my current total compensation (including the value of those benefits) as my baseline, then add a premium for the management role (how much, 10%, 20%)? Or should I ignore my current package and negotiate based purely on local market compensation (but the ranges are too wide)?

3. Any other advice on how you'd approach this negotiation or determine a reasonable number to ask for?

Thanks!