I’m 28F and my boyfriend is 30M. He is Igbo Nigerian and I am Spanish with West African roots (we both currently leave in the UK). We have been together for 1.5 years, and we have discussed marriage and our future together.

We are now facing a major issue involving his family.

His parents have concerns about me and our relationship. They have said they would need to do a background check on me/my family before they can properly accept the relationship. Some of their concerns are related to cultural and religious differences.

I was raised in a Muslim family, that currently leaves in Spain. I personally am not very practicing, but my mother is quite practicing. She would probably prefer me to marry a Muslim man, but she has always made it clear that, ultimately, she wants me to be happy and would accept whoever I genuinely choose.

There is also a language/cultural difference between our families. His parents speak English, while my mother primarily speaks Spanish, so communication between the families would obviously be more complicated.

From what I understand, his parents are also concerned about what they may discover through the background check and whether our families/cultural backgrounds are compatible.

I completely understand that, particularly in an Igbo family, parents can have a very important role in their son’s marriage and that marriage can be seen as a union between families, not just two individuals.

What I am struggling with is my boyfriend’s response to all of this.

He has essentially said that if his parents ultimately make him choose between them and me, ending our relationship could become an option.

That is extremely painful for me to hear after 1.5 years together and after discussing marriage.

My perspective is that I don’t expect him to disrespect his parents, cut them off or ignore their concerns. I actually think he should listen to them and address whatever legitimate concerns they have.

But I also believe that, at some point, he has to make his own decision about who he wants to marry.

I told him that if I were truly his person and he genuinely wanted to spend his life with me, the possibility of losing me should make him want to fight for the relationship and try to convince his family — rather than accepting that leaving me might be the solution.

At the same time, I recognize that I am looking at this through a Spanish/European lens. I don’t want to underestimate the cultural pressure he may be experiencing as an Igbo man.

So I would especially appreciate perspectives from Igbo Nigerians or people who have experienced something similar:

• How much influence do Igbo parents typically have over their adult son’s choice of wife?
• Is a parental “background check” normal in this context?
• How serious can parental disapproval become when it comes to marriage?
• If an Igbo man genuinely loves his partner and wants to marry her, is it realistic for him to stand up to his parents?
• And is it reasonable for me to expect him to do that after 1.5 years together, or am I underestimating how difficult this would be for him?

I don’t want people to simply tell me that one of us is wrong. I genuinely want to understand the Igbo cultural perspective and whether this situation is something couples can realistically overcome.

What would you do in my position?

I'm a teenager (m) from Pakistan. I'm looking for a good friend from Nigeria.

Any advice on how to find one?

I’m looking for some advice, especially from Nigerians or people who have been in a similar situation.

My boyfriend is Nigerian, and we recently had a difficult conversation about our future. He spoke to his dad about relationships and explained that he is pursuing someone who is not Nigerian. His dad had a very negative reaction to the idea.

I’m also African, although I’m not Nigerian. I’ve spoken to my own parents about our relationship, and while they would definitely prefer me to marry someone from our own culture, they ultimately want me to be happy. I understand that it may take them some time to fully accept it, but they are willing to come around.

I don’t have many Nigerian friends, so I don’t really have anyone to ask about this. Are Nigerian parents generally this strict when it comes to their children marrying outside of their culture? Is there a realistic chance that his parents could eventually accept the relationship?

I’m also wondering whether it would be worth him speaking to his mum about it. His dad’s reaction has made me worry that his family may never accept me. At the same time, I don’t want to assume the worst based on one conversation.

We have been through a lot together that I don’t want to disclose because it’s very personal, but our relationship means a lot to both of us. I feel like, at the very least, we need to fight for our relationship and give it a genuine chance before deciding that it can’t work.

For Nigerians or anyone who has experienced something similar: did your parents initially reject your relationship because your partner was from a different culture, and did their attitude eventually change?

And realistically, is this something we can work through, or am I being naive by hoping that his family will eventually accept us?

I'm 18 and in college. I just got a phone call tonight that my dad has been cheating on my mom with women at hotels for the past 2 years. I don't even know how to feel right now. This is the same man who attends church every Sunday as if his life depends on it. He almost gave my mom an std.

I just feel bad for my mother. My parents always argue, so maybe it was destined to happen. My mom is filing for divorce with her lawyer right now. My dad couldn't even deny it, so I've lost respect for this man. He even said he wants me to be like him. If you're going to cheat, why even get married? Especially when you have a whole family depending on you. What am I supposed to do now, abeg?

I’m an African American woman married to a Nigerian man, and I’m trying to understand whether what I’ve experienced is primarily cultural, individual personality, traditional gender expectations, or simply an unhealthy marriage.

We met while living in Russia. I’ve never been to Nigeria, and outside of Nigeria, Russia is the only country he’s ever lived in. Because of that, most of my understanding of Nigerian culture has come through him. I’m not trying to stereotype Nigerians or suggest that all Nigerian men are alike. I know every person and every marriage is different. I’m genuinely looking to hear from people especially African American women married to Nigerian men—who may have had similar experiences.

Looking back, I think there were red flags from the very beginning. I’ve always had a high sex drive and have viewed physical intimacy as an important part of a relationship. Early on, I noticed that our sexual relationship often felt focused on his experience rather than ours. When I tried to communicate what I liked or gently offer direction, he seemed anxious or uncomfortable instead of receptive. It often felt as though my pleasure wasn’t as important. At the time, I thought we would grow together. Instead, our intimacy slowly disappeared. Today we’ve gone well over a year without sex. Ironically, I sometimes look back on those early struggles and realize I’d take them over having no intimacy at all.

The lack of intimacy isn’t the only issue. One of the hardest parts of our marriage is feeling like my voice doesn’t carry weight. When I tell him about something I’ve experienced, whether it’s with one of our nannies or another situation - often feel like he doesn’t believe me. Instead of asking questions or trusting my judgment, I feel like my concerns are dismissed as me being emotional, overly sensitive, or exaggerating. For example, we’ve had nannies whose behavior I felt was disrespectful or inappropriate. Rather than taking my concerns seriously, I often felt like I had to convince my own husband that my experiences were real.
Over time, that has made me question whether he truly respects my perspective.

I’ve also come to feel that there are misogynistic attitudes in our marriage. I often feel that because I’m a woman, my opinions are given less credibility than his. Whether it’s intentional or not, it often feels like his perspective is treated as the default truth while mine has to be defended. He’s admitted that he struggles to see situations from other people’s perspectives. I’m almost the opposite. I’m constantly reflecting on my own behavior, questioning my assumptions, and trying to understand how someone else might experience the same situation. That difference has made communication incredibly difficult.

Another area where I’ve lost respect is money and business. I’ve genuinely tried to help him succeed. I’ve shared ideas, offered feedback, and tried to contribute to his business ventures because I wanted him to do well. My advice rarely seemed to be taken seriously, yet financial support was always welcome. Several years ago, I loaned him money for one of his ventures. We both agreed it was a loan and that he would repay me. He never did. Since then, I’ve chosen not to financially support any other business ventures. He seems to resent me for that decision, but from my perspective, the trust was broken when our agreement wasn’t honored.
It wasn’t the amount of money that changed how I felt. It was realizing that my financial support was appreciated more than my ideas, my judgment, or my perspective.

There are other things that have chipped away at the marriage as well.
We’ve gone over a year without sex.
Anniversaries have been forgotten.
Physical affection is almost nonexistent.
Emotional intimacy has faded to the point where I often feel more like a co-parent than a wife.
At this point, I’ve lost a great deal of respect for him, and I know that’s one of the hardest things for a marriage to recover from.
I’m not looking for people to tell me to leave. I’m trying to understand.
For those of you, especially African American women married to Nigerian men or others in similar cross-cultural marriages—have you experienced anything like this?
Did you ever feel that your voice carried less weight than your husband’s? Did traditional gender expectations affect your marriage? Were you able to bridge those differences, or did you eventually realize they reflected deeper incompatibilities?
I’m looking for honest experiences from people who’ve lived it, whether your marriage ultimately succeeded or ended.

Hello,

Im talking with a Nigerian man, we are in our begin 30's.

I am living in Netherlands. We have good conversations and I start to like him. Im not sure can I trust this? I like the person, but I know some Nigerian man only talking with woman because they want to leave Africa. He is not financially instable.

Need some advice to follow this or stop

♡

I have the impression that ouest africans people don't like to cuddle when they are in a relationship.

I would like to know what meaning a hug means to you? The hug is reserved for what occasion? Do you do it often? If you haven't hugged for several weeks or months, do you miss it? Is hugging something frowned upon in your culture (can you tell me your culture)? Is this something you secretly want to do? Is this something that both men and women don't like? How do you express your affection for your partner? If your partner hugs you, how do you feel? Embarrassment, boredom, disgust, nothing? How do you keep couples from cuddling?
I've noticed this in all Africans people I meet for a while, and it's something I don't understand, and would really like to understand. I want to understand how it is possible to love differently. It's very far from my culture and it seems very complicated to understand for me.

I'm new here, kindly follow me and I will follow back ❤️🥺🙏🥺🙏

Me and my nigerian girlfriend been in a relationship since october she wont get intimate or want to move in together we do touch and she moves away she allways saying i want to meet your family and doesnt she wont introduce me her family!

And another thing she blocks me from her social media is she embarrassed of me and blocks me from her whatsapp and then unblock me on social media messages puts her profile private so i cant see what she posts so what shall i do i told her im not messaging her on social media she has to use my number to contact me

Every time i friend request her on instagram she rejects it

What shall i do finsh with her ?

im a white english guy im dating a nigerian girl we been in a relationship for 5 months we never been intimate or kiss is this normal for nigerian women she likes to pull away from a hug in public she doesnt want me in her videos for her socials she called me a english man not her boyfriend i caught her on many lies shes telling men she single and it getting back to me she afraid to meet my family she refuses to tell me where she lives or work im thinking its a trust issue

💘 Rotaract Valentine Fellowship 💘 Rotaract Club of Apo & Rotaract Club of Abuja Maitama invites you!

🎁 Bring a gift, get a gift – Valentine gift exchange. 👗 Dress code: Wear your heart on your sleeve.

📅 15 Feb 2025 ⏰ 4:00 / 4:30 PM 📍 Suite G3, Alrbro Altrium, 32 Street, Utako.

Come ready for fun, friendship & good vibes. Don’t forget your gift 😉

You don't need to bring it if you want, just come, let's vibe, and have fun 😊

I live in the United States and I am a 60 year old white male. Financially. Stable. I am so attached to Nigeriian ladies so ladies if you are interested for a lifetime relationship dope me a note. thank you

Ever heard men say women are materialistic? Does it resonate with your beliefs and observations, and how do we strike a balance between genuine needs and materialism? Hang on as we examine briefly this assertion.
https://youtu.be/0b1wdiDbJJc
#MaterialismVsSpirituality #relationshipgoals #moderndating #emotionalintelligence #spiritualconnection #LoveAndSacrifice

Let’s talk tradition, meaning, and modern twists!

In this video, we dive into one of the most debated engagement traditions: the knee-down proposal. Where did it come from? Does it still matter today? And if you do kneel, which knee is "correct"?

https://youtu.be/HGGJlk-rd6o

Hi! I am a Filipina. I met this gentleman on October 18, 2025 at Flotsam and Jetsam in La Union, Philippines. I only got his first name, which is Pedro. He is with his friend. He said he is a mechanical engineer, studying here in the Philippines (I’m not sure if I understood him that night). We didn’t exchange social medias and even phone number. When I went back to Manila, I regret not getting his phone number. I don’t know, that moment felt real and genuine for me. Is Nigerian studying here in Philippines so many? Will I be able to see him again?