This is not about someone else, it’s about this group. I just want to say- you make my day for existing! Reddit is sometimes filled to the rim w doom and gloom, but you all brighten my day with laughter and sunshine. Maybe it’s that we get each other and appreciate the same things. Anyway, thanks for being a refreshing bunch that always makes me smile. 😊 💕

Does anyone else find this label weird and adjacent to the way people misuse pickme?

I recently was called a “cool gf” because I said I personally do not care if my bf follows instagram models as I do for horny gooner purposes as well and don’t really understand the women who do, although I respect every women’s choice and feel that feelings even if they are “wrong” can be valid and I def don’t think I’m better than these women.just genuinely cannot relate or see that point of view. I’ve even seen girls get called “cool gfs” for enjoying admiring women with their bfs or not being bothered that they watch porn. This just seems misogynistic and envious. Just because SOME women have higher thresholds of what makes them personally comfortable in a relationship does not mean more laid back women are faking it.

I can’t help but feel like so many women use terms like “cool gf” or “pickme” for women who just ARE more laid back and sexual/ have stereotypically male hobbies. I was called one even though I’ve been a feminist since the Anita Sarkeseen every women who games must die era. It’s hurtful as someone who considers herself an academic follower of feminism (specifically womanist based authors like bell hooks and Alice walker) and especially jarring as a black women who knows black women originally coined the term to describe a women who enforces patriarchy and misogyny onto others, not a girl who likes to play video games and thinks fart jokes are funny

What do you guys think

they were a little cringe, but you know what I still fuck with them

Seen in a comment section of a HIM music video

Just came across this video today

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I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole “pick-me / not like other girls” concept, especially about where the line actually is between:

• genuinely having different interests/preferences
• wanting male validation
• changing yourself to be liked
• comparing yourself to other women
• and putting other women down to make yourself feel more special

So I made a small interactive self-reflection quiz around it:

👉 https://are-you-a-pick-me.ai.studio/

It has 20 real-world dilemmas and looks at 5 behavioral dimensions: people-pleasing, external validation, self-abandonment, social comparison, and performative individuality.

There are also 5 different archetypes at the end rather than simply giving you a “YES, YOU’RE A PICK-ME 🚩” result.

One thing I specifically wanted to avoid was treating things like having mostly guy friends, liking traditionally masculine hobbies, not wearing makeup, etc. as inherently “pick-me” behavior. The motivation behind the behavior matters much more to me.

And honestly, this subreddit is exactly why I’m interested in that distinction. I’ve seen plenty of discussions here pointing out that the term can become so broad that women end up being called “pick-me” simply for being different, which seems to defeat the original purpose of the concept.

So I’d genuinely love some criticism from people who are familiar with this topic:

Does the quiz actually distinguish between “I’m genuinely like this” and “I’m performing this for validation”?

Are there scenarios you think are unfair, stereotypical, or missing the point?

Feel free to roast it. 😂 I’m much more interested in whether the concept holds up than in being told it looks pretty.

Disclaimer: this is a self-reflection/UX project, not a scientifically validated psychological assessment or diagnosis.

Hi im not sure if this is the right group to post this under so apologies if not but I was just thinking...

Basically at work there used to be this woman that worked with us and was you're classic stereotypical type of "pick me girl"

And before getting with her boyfriend who she met at work she'd always only literally talk to the guys and would clearly be flirting with them even though some found her/it very uncomfortable ​as she was about 10 years older than them, and she ESPECIALLY loved to flirt with anyone married or who already had girlfriends (and a couple of these guys their wives and gf's also worked where we do as well.. so yeah) and even after getting with her boyfriend she'd still flirt ect. With anyone who was male

But the thing i dont understand is this, whenever her boyfriend at work would talk to ANYONE female and not even in a flirty way in fact it was literally his job to talk to people as hes a manager there.. she would literally watch him like a hawk, scream and shout at him, that wasn't at work though that would be when we'd all be out after work on a night out for Xmas drinks or whatever, and she'd literally be drunk screaming "OMG why is he talking to HER???" like in front of everybody..

So I guess my question is this... what is wrong with people like her? Or her in general? I know they're are a lot of hypocritical people at there that can't look at themselves and see how they're acting but I still just dont understand it? I don't understand from this (thankfully) ex co worker of mine feels she can flirt with anything male with a pulse but her boyfriend cant even breathe near another woman without her Basically verbally abusing him? Its just crazy to me personally but idk..

Anyway sorry this is long and probably all over the place but I've been wanting to get this off my chest for a while.. and again sorry if this is the wrong group.

i used to be a top student in high school. now i am not. and ive become such an insecure person. in college, there are like 50 other more prettier girls than me who get acknowledged way more. and idk im not living a life upto my expectations. idk how to but i really wanna stop being jealous of other women and i really wanna become secure in myself. but the momment i enter college and see other girls my confidence lowers. idk how to deal w this. its been one year and now it is affecting my relationship a lot.

i’m not like other girls. i play cod instead of stardew valley.

op was doubling down in the comments as everyone (rightfully) called out her internalized misogyny. i was especially grossed out when she started referring to other women as “honey” to demean them.

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“Kinda chic to collect passport stamps instead of designer bags”
“Kinda chic to not have married a looser”

And so on.
Good grief, seeking validation much? Soooo quirky 🙄
I hate these trends. It’s almost as infuriating as the one “I met my old self for coffee” 🙄😬

So i'm pretty sure after Spain won the FIFA World Cup, a lot of us girls were attracted to the Spain team players especially Ferran Torres, the guy who scored the winning goal. It's pretty normal; he seems to be a genuine guy and he's extremely attractive. I don't think there's anything wrong with fangirling over him.

Came across this on Pinterest. It looks like a fan account that makes edit videos of him and the comments underneath it is gatekeeping being a Torres fans and dragging girls who just started liking him now after the world cup. Part of me thinks these people have no business shaming anyone for how long they've enjoyed watching football or why they do it.

Thoughts?

This feels like some major internal misogyny. “We aren’t all the same” because I guess all other women have a “flaccid mom cootch”.