Bro just lost patio privileges for a day while I figure out how to fix it bc he likes to chip the paint off metal. Please roast him for his naughty behavior

came into my room and literally started licking my dirty underwear <///3 never done this before holy shit he's such a freak (love him though)

Doodle (Molly) throws herself at the front window every time someone walks past our house. Sometimes even large vehicles set her off.

This time it looks like the blinds put up a fight.

I am pretty sure I can drive. Mama says my legs look real big and strong and perfectly in proportion to the rest of my body. Tug is my favorite game, and also no take, only throw.

This weirdo has to sleep with his head on my pillow, drags mud into the house, drinks a bowl of water and then drools half of it on your leg, and broke a tooth chewing on a stick. He uses everyone and everything as his personal couch, particularly other dogs' heads. When he wrestles with our other dog and play growls, he sounds exactly like Alex Jones. When we moved cross country and drove from Alaska to Minnesota, this moron pooped his way across North America by taking a dump in EVERY hotel along the way. When I accidentally gave him our other dog's puzzle bowl for his dinner, he gave up trying to eat because he couldn't figure out how to turn the spinny thing in the center. The other day he stole my sandwich off my desk RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. And, of course, his name is Kevin. Kevin.