Lol at the title, but forreal. I have a 3yr old (3yrs 6 months), and a 2 week old. When I was pregnant, everybody was telling me how great it is to have two kids, a boy (toddler) and a girl. How they will be best friends. Why did nobody warn me about the reality of having two young kids? My toddler is becoming extra difficult, and is so clingy, while I breastfeed my newborn who is also then clingy and just wanting to be on my breast. My toddler who, instead of trying to understand, is making everything feel so much worse with his tantrums. I know that its a transition for him too, and Im trying my best- im including him in baby activities, Im having one on one time with him, his days are really filled with activities plus daycare. And still, whatever we do, its not enough. He wants more attention, he is more clingy, he is making our heads explode lol. I never knew caring for a newborn is so much easier then having a toddler. Pls somebody tell me it gets easier, bc this is so hard.

So they were learning colors at daycare and he was wearing blue pants, and the teacher was asking each kid to give an example of something that was blue.

when it was his turn, apparently he decided the best possible example was to take his pants off and proudly show everyone his underwear 💀

i got an email from daycare afterwards basically warning me that we need to work on this because he can't just be taking his clothes off in front of random people

i genuinely don't even know what to do with this kid sometimes lol. is this a normal toddler thing or do i just have a particularly chaotic child?

Okay this is a little rant about how gendered toddler clothing is but specifically underwear. We are embarking on potty training soon so I thought hey I’ll get some fun ones with my daughter’s favourite animals or dinos or even ladybugs on them. Well jokes on me. Only princesses and rainbows in pastel pink and purple for her.

Meanwhile the boy’s section has all sorts of options and colours (except pink and purple) from animals to space, there is even way more bluey which I assumed to be a gender neutrally enjoyed show. I was already annoyed by the marketed swimsuit differences but this makes me even more grumpy.

Hi. Father of a 4yo and 2yo here.

We are having a hard time getting our 4yo ready in the morning for pre-school. It is a battle to get her dressed and out of the door. This morning was over an hour and she and my wife were in tears by the time they got to school. If you good people of Reddit have any ideas or suggestions, I’m open.

Here's what we've been doing: My wife has laid a selection of her clothes out so she can pick something quickly. We try to get her in bed earlier. We try to feed her as soon as she’s up. My wife even told her she could FaceTime her grandmother on the car ride. Nothing works. 4yo refuses everything, screams, runs away, hides, etc. Eventually, 4yo apologizes and says she won’t do it again, but it’s every morning. 

I'm of little to no help in the morning as I'm gone by 6am for work.

Sooo I have an 18 month old son and I'm losing my mind. Whenever I've been asking for advice on other subs or other places entirely, people will always say "just teach him not to do xyz" or "just get him involved in your daily activities"

But like... How??

Anything I say goes right out the other ear. If he's playing with something he shouldn't, I'll tell him no and redirect, but he doesn't care and just goes straight back to it. Then I remove him from the area, which results in a dramatic tantrum, after which he'll run straight back to the thing again.

So when people keep telling me to "just teach him not to do that", I really don't understand what more I can do, than what I already am doing??

Other people are talking about how they have their kids help with cooking, folding laundry etc, but if I try that he'll just be throwing stuff around and generally wreaking havoc. Today he pulled all of his clothes out and when I tried to get him to help me put it back, he'd just grab the things I'd just put back and throw them. He's like that all the time and according to other people, it's somehow because his dad and I aren't doing enough to teach proper behaviour, but I have no idea what more we can do 😩

And before anyone asks, no we're not concerned about things like autism, and neither is his daycare teacher. He's hitting his milestones and all that.

How are we talking to our toddlers about their private parts? My 3 YO girl is very curious about her v*lva (only putting an asterisk in case there are weirdos lurking, idk) and likes to look at it/touch it. How do you talk to your kids about this and let them know they need to wash hands etc after doing that without implying their body is “gross” “icky” etc. I don’t want my daughter to have body shame but also want her to understand those parts are private. Any insight or resources would be helpful! Thank you.

I have a 1.5 year old son. Sometimes he has good days but a majority of the time he’s just overall very difficult to take to places. Which is why we mostly stick to easy things like parks. We do larger outings if my husband is around but he works a ton. But I see all these people that I know personally or random people on social media that are traveling with their babies/toddlers and doing things we could NEVER do just given the demeanor of our son. And honestly it makes me sad. Today my sister in law asked if I wanted to go to the aquarium. And I had to tell her that 1) my son is NOT going to want to be in his stroller 2) if I let him free roam, he will tantrum anytime I need to direct him in the direction we need to go and 3) it would require alot of physical work like carrying him and he’s 31 lbs and super long. Even my husband has issues carrying him for long so I definitely can’t. I have back issues to begin with. Then she asked if we wanted to go to the pool. The last 5 times we’ve taken my son to the pool he hated it. Wouldn’t even stay in the water for 4 minutes. And we’ve tried other ways to keep him there and he just wouldn’t. Always leads us to leaving. So again, another activity that I can’t do with my son. My husband is never around due to work so that makes it even harder for me to do things alone with my son. I’m not looking for suggestions on how to take him places because we’ve tried it all and it’s a disaster a lot of the time. I’m just venting because I feel like both me and my son are missing out on things. And it makes me sad.

My 2.5-year-old (call her XYZ) is generally a sweet, loving kid, but something happened at daycare drop-off this morning that genuinely broke my heart.

When we walked in, a few of her little friends said, “Good morning, XYZ!” One little girl was especially excited to see her and said something along the lines of, “XYZ, you’re my friend! Come sit with me!” XYZ looked at her, went and sat with another friend, and told the first little girl, “You’re not my friend.” 😭💔

The little girl had done absolutely nothing wrong and was being perfectly sweet to her. I know they’re only 2.5, and I’m probably assigning way more meaning to this interaction than XYZ is. But this really got to me.

I know she doesn’t have to like everyone or want to play with everyone. But I really want to teach her that there’s a difference between having a preference (“I want to sit with Sarah today”) and being intentionally hurtful (“I don’t like you, you’re not my friend”).

Is this kind of behavior normal at 2.5? And more importantly, what can I do at this age to help build kindness, empathy, and consideration for other people’s feelings without overreacting or making her feel ashamed?

We are going through a difficult phase with our 3 year old boy right now. I am a chronic over thinker and over worrier. If you thought you seen 'the signs' but it turned out to be nothing, or not what you thought, please share.

My 24 month old is extremely difficult..In just about every way a toddler can be. I know every toddler is different and some are challenging in different ways, but it just seems like mine is difficult in every way imaginable. None of our friends’ toddlers seem to be quite like her. Not to mention, she’s a girl..everyone told me girls were “easier”, but mine seems to have broken the mold.

The tantrums are almost constant/daily when she doesn’t get her way. When we’re home i can ignore them, remove her from the situation, etc..but when we’re in public, it’s so traumatizing and embarrassing for me. Every little thing where she doesn’t get her way, absolute meltdown. Kicking/squirming when we try to pick her up to remove her. She’s recently started hitting us, also.

She’s a runner and will not let me hold her hand when we’re out somewhere, so I’m constantly having to hold her while she tries to squirm out of my arms when we go anywhere that she doesn’t have free range.

9 times out of 10, she arches/kicks/freaks out/tantrums whenever we try to get her in the car seat. Every once in a while she won’t and will go in with ease and i think we’re improving, just for her to do it again the next time.

She’s mildly speech delayed. Technically she’s hitting all speech milestones/didn’t meet criteria for speech therapy, but still relies on tantruming/crying or pulling us to what she wants to get her needs met a lot of the time. Definitely isn’t able to have a ton of back and forth yet, definitely not conversational, so it makes trying to talk with her difficult.

She is EXTREMELY active. Constantly wants to run, jump, climb, etc. almost always trying to do something dangerous that makes me so anxious.

She is not currently in daycare (we’re on a very long waitlist at multiple locations) so she is definitely unsure how to appropriately socialize/interact with other kids. She LOVES other kids and is very socially motivated, but her way of interacting is grabbing them by the arm and trying to make them jump with her or pull them to where she wants to take them. I try to model correct interactions/redirect this, but it’s not without struggle. She will most definitely push kids if they’re in her way, so I’m the parent constantly having to helicopter her when we’re at the park, etc. going to the park/anywhere outside the house is also exhausting bc once she gets bored of the slides/etc, she will run off and is very fast. Then tantrums when i try to stop her. I try my best to use these opportunities as learning opportunities, but she becomes so frustrated that i think everything i saw goes in one ear and out the other. Also always trying to take toys or drinks or snacks from other kids or out of their parents bags.

She understands a lot, but there are still times where i think “maybe she doesn’t understand what im trying to say” — i do try to keep everything i say short and direct, but that’s sometimes hard to do when im trying to teach why we can’t do certain things.

She’s not all “bad” — she is also very sweet and loving and cuddly and smiley and giggly a lot of the time too! It’s just that she can be very verrrry hard a lot of the time 🥲😓

My son is 3.5 and for almost a year now we’ve settled into some ridiculous habits in his bedtime routine. After brushing teeth, pajamas, and reading a book, he must stand on a certain spot on his rug. Then he wants us to turn on the sound machine, turn off the light and he “sneaks” over to his little play couch, where we help him jump five times (aka bunny hops) before he gets into bed. Recently, he’s decided he has to walk on his knees to get into bed and required us to tape an LED light strip to his door to simulate the hallway light being on.

We tried random things sometimes to make bedtime more fun so he wouldn’t fight it, but now it’s resulted in some pretty ridiculous practices. Whatever works though, right??

So tell me what silly or crazy things have become part of your kids’ bedtime routines!

I have almost 3 year old twins.

I'd like to present a case for babyproofing the shit out of your house when you have young toddlers (1 - 2.5 years old)

When my twins could walk, they were into everything. Absolutely everything. Pots and pans, bowls, plants, books, whatever they could pull down or pull out or push off, they would.

I know a lot of people push through this stage and redirect, but with two that was just not feasible for us. So we did what we had to do: we babyproofed the shit out of our house. Kiddy locks, put away books, hid plants, cleared shelves. We had soft landings on the floor. You could not get your hands on a crayon unless I gave it to you. We closed doors to the bathroom and the living areas were completely and utterly safe.

It took such a weight off my shoulders. I was no longer saying no every three seconds to my kids. My house felt less stressful and I could rest easy if I had to quickly nip to the bathroom while they played.

Now, my kids are almost 3 and we took away all ot the locks, we put the books back, my house has plants again. And guess what? They leave it all alone. And if they don't, I tell them know and give them a consequence if they do not follow my instruction.

I see so many posts here about people getting frustrated that their kids are getting into everything when they turn their back. It brings out rage and anxiety. It isn't necessary.

It isn't for everyone and yes in an ideal world we redirect every 5 seconds and your kid learns early on what not to do. But if you're tired of the stress of it, then this is your sign to babyproof your house.

Hi all!

So today was my 15mo first day of daycare. He didn’t cry and was pretty chill the whole time.

The thing is, during nap time, he went to sleep pretty easily but woke up after one hour instead the two hours the daycare is expecting on schedule.

They have live cameras and I could see that a teacher keep on pushing his head down every time he tried to stand up as he was not tired anymore. She did this repeatedly and was quite rough. My kid obviously started crying.

After a while other kids started to wake up and she stopped. I have recorded everything and if this happens again tomorrow I’ll speak up.

How could I handle this? I don’t want to create conflict on his first week but I don’t think that’s normal right?? They said they were gonna be extra nice and cuddly the first day and then I saw this.

I feel awful…

Edit: thank you all for your insights. I feel a lot more reassured about speaking up. This is definitely not okay and we’ll be speaking with the daycare director first thing in the morning!

How do I get twin 3 almost 4yr old girls to poop in the potty??? Im so tired of pullups but they just won't poop im the toilet. They've pooped on the potty 6 times between the 2 of them and got lollipops each time but they were all done accidentally. They poop in their panties almost every day no matter how many potty breaks instructing them to "push like they're farting" goofy I know but they fart on command lmao. We've talked about being able to go to school, and ice cream for only the one who poops in the potty, and that it yucky to poop in our panties. What do we do. I want to get them in preschool but cant if they arent potty trained.

Did anyone have their almost 3 yr old refuse and refuse a nap then try to crash between 4-6pm and act like a mad man or a zombie if you don’t let them and get a second wind and stay up “late?”

My kiddo will be 3 in about a month and the last week especially he has been refusing to do his 1-2pm nap.
His usual schedule was 8am wake, 1-2/2:3nap and then sleep around 9.
It worked forever. But not it doesnt matter if he wakes at 7am or 9am, hes refusing a nap , and i just give up after half an hour of trying usually. Then he gets really sleepy 4-6pm and if you let him sit or lay with you or leave him unattended he WILL pass out for an hour and be up late.
BUT if i purposefully keep him awake through this drowsy spell he acts like a zombie for an hour then goes nuts like i gave him sugar and ends up being awake to 10pm+ 🤦🏻‍♀️

Im not able to get a thing done during the day bc hes wanting me to play with him 24:7 and then once he gets close to his nap and skips it hes so sleepy hes extra clingy. And i cant carry him and do things like i used to bc im 35 weeks pregnant, my belly hurts, and i can barely walk..

Hes got so much fomo he doesnt wanna sleep which is why i think it doesnt seem to matter what time he wakes in the AM. But i feel so frustrated snd exhausted from entertaining him 12-13 hours a day straight 😪 and “quiet time” doesnt work bc he just spends the entire time climbing back and forth across me and talking my ear off and asking if we can get up and leave/go play every 2 seconds

We just put clear bins in a 3X3 cube shelf (9 cubes) and now my 2.5yo can see all her toys and only pulls out one bin at a time. we also have plastic lids for the bins but havent needed to use them because my toddler has been responsible enough we dont need to lock the toys away lol. its changed my life so I felt the need to share. we live in a small space so the livingroom is the main play area and it used to get so overwhelming having toys everywhere all the time and I felt bad throwing toys away out of frustration. I hope this helps someone else!

My 3yo toddler frequently comes to me crying after he gets in trouble with dad. I used discipline in the title to be concise, but he’s not doing anything crazy like corporal punishment or screaming. It’s for things like taking a toy toddler was using to hit, yelling stop when toddler is shrieking or hitting, or picking him up when he’s chasing/terrorizing our cat. We have a newborn, so I will admit there is more yelling no and less typical millennial gentle parenting happening than our normal baseline right now (which is normally almost zero yelling) bc we’re all sleep deprived and toddler adjusting to a new normal, so doing lots of attention seeking via hitting, shrieking, chasing, throwing, mess making, etc. Almost anytime he doesn’t have full attention, he acts up, and it’s hard for him bc he’s getting less than he did before. I 100% get it. I promise we’re actively working on responding better in these moments.

But in the mean time, I’m the preferred parent and also better at regulating with the toddler, so this has led to him running to me crying when my husband reacts negatively to his behavior. This puts me in the awkward position of both trying to comfort toddler for being upset by dad’s reaction (which I’ll admit wasn’t the best/ideal), and also not wanting to undermine him bc toddlers behavior was a problem too. Like he’ll say things like daddy made a bad choice, which yeah, loudly shouting “don’t hit me” wasn’t the best, but also he was getting hit while holding the baby. He’s not some abusive villain here.

TLDR; I’m worried I’m going to end up reinforcing a dynamic of toddler acting up and getting a reaction from dad so he can get more attention/comfort from me. Or reinforce that dad is bad/scary. How do others handle this balance?

I posted a few days ago saying we had a few bad experiences on he playground and I am feeling like I totally failed addressing the other kids’ behavior. kids who yelled in my sons face or wouldn’t let him go on play structures— it was really bad and I couldn’t believe how parents let their kids act. I feel HORRIBLE for not guiding my son through this better. I should have stepped in more and addressed things with him.

he was so confident in playgrounds for a two year old and I was getting so excited for him. today we went to a playground and he scream cried whenever a kid got close to him and wouldnt really play. 😞 I feel so so bad. has this happened to anyone? my son is definitely more cautious and sensitive, but I do really think the bad experiences were very real for him.

I’m curious which number of kids felt the hardest for you day-to-day and why. I’d also love to know the age gaps between your kids and whether you think the age gaps made a difference! :)

I have a 21 month old son who cannot speak yet (started speech therapy). He is ok with me and his grandma but has tantrums with his dad and grandpa. He will scream and hit. He did it to me once and I took his hand and glared at him in the eyes and said DO NOT!!!!!!!😐😐😐😐😐 and he was stunned and never did it again.

My husband will not respond at all if he tantrums. But he’s very upset by this. It’s over stuff like wanting to go outside and dad’s not moving fast enough.

I am default parent and he’s with me most of the time.

Any advice?

Hi everyone. My baby is 15 months old and is lactose intolerant/ having a milk protein allergy. Since I have been fully breastfeeding him (and still do apart from solids, but reduced now) I never realized this prior to him turning 6 months. He can take baked goods and butter but not fresh milk or yogurt. He got rashes all over his body, breathing difficulties and cries profusely the first and second time I gave him milk. After he turned one, his pediatrician instructed me to give milk or yogurt again and if those symptoms appear again to treat it with piriton. Unfortunately when he was about 12 months I tried and he got those symptoms again.
If your baby was like this, did he/ she outgrow this and if they did, at what age? Thanks you so much.

Hi moms, my toddler’s (2 years 4 months old) tantrums are really starting to take over my well-being. Since 2 weeks ago, just a minor inconvenience will create into uncontrollable crying, sometimes will throw the thing she’s holding if she can’t do want she wants.

How do I handle this? There are times that I raise my voice at her because I don’t know where the tantrums are coming from. Is this a normal behaviour? She watches tV maximum 1 hour a day (30 mins in morning and 30 mins in the afternoon), does that affect her behaviour?

Putting her to sleep also is a nightmare, it takes an hour, she’s clearly tired but won’t go to sleep. Tonight I ended up calling her dad because I got really overwhelmed and just left her without saying anything. I felt really bad but I really need time for myself.

She has a strong preference to me, won’t let her dad do the bedtime. I am just really feeling overwhelmed these days. I just want to be away from them for a whole day. I just want to be alone.

Just curious how many fluid ounces your child consumes in a day on average and their age.

Edit - my son has chronic constipation (17mo now, been on MiraLAX since 10mo) and drinks very little. So just trying to gauge what is normal for others. The ped said 30+oz which my son would never drink. I do realize most people won’t be tracking this, so just curious if you have an estimate/average.

Hello!
Mom of 2 little girls- one 4.5, and one who turned 3 in June. Our first potty trained so easily, we were so lucky.

Second girl comes and …. Boom. She is the most stubborn, independent, maddening (in a frustrating but good way) child. Verbal skills are strong, and manipulation skills also strong 🥴. We cannot get the girl to be potty trained.

Tried naked days, fancy undies she picks, mini potty, rewards, incentives, candy, you name it. It’s now to the point where if we go naked, she will hold it so long bc she refuses to pee ANYWHERE but in a diaper. It’s pretty remarkable how long the girl can hold it. So much so I’m afraid she will give herself a uti, so eventually we just cave and give her a diaper.

She is signed up for dance and can even do class in underwear and hold it!! At daycare, they get her to sit on potty but same thing- nothing comes out.

Any suggestions are WELCOME. We are losing our minds and think she’s prob thriving in the power struggle.

HELPPPP