Just need to vent to people who get it because a conversation with a college friend this weekend has been driving me nuts.

We got close over the last year because our kids are the same age (toddlers, around 17 months). Since we're both working moms, I thought we were in the same boat. But talking to her lately just feels like getting judged for not being crunchy enough

First, we were talking about taking toddlers to restaurants. I mentioned that I don't pack a full meal from home when we go out—I bring backup snacks so he doesn't melt down, but I actually want him to try new food, and honestly, I want a break from packing meals. We only eat out like twice a week anyway. She gets this tone and goes, "Wait, you don’t pack his food when you go out?" Like I was poisoning him. Then she smugly dropped that she has never given her son outside food.

I knew her in college as this smart, super ambitious, career-driven go-getter. It feels like her entire personality has evaporated into just cooking things from scratch. Every conversation is about kitchen chores and scratch-made everything. It feels like she’s slipped right down the tradwife rabbit hole, and it’s honestly disturbing to watch.

Anyone else seeing their working mom friends getting influenced by the trad wife movement ????

I know breastfeeding is the best thing in the world. All I see on my feed are videos of how amazing breastfeeding is. Today I just saw one that breastfeeding makes kids grow up with a better-looking face.
I’m sick of it. I want to breastfeed. I wish I could’ve breastfed. But after my 6 measly weeks of maternity leave it was just too much to keep breastfeeding. Baby got used to the bottle cus of my long work hours and stopped taking the breast. My job is hectic so it was hard to keep a pump schedule.
I just start crying. I start accepting that it’s okay that my baby is being formula fed now and then I see shit like this.

Like yes I wish I can breastfeed I want nothing more in the world than to be home with my baby and breastfeed or at least be able to pump

I'm sure it's harmless and maybe said in a sort of tongue-and-cheek manner, but this really gets under my skin and I need advice on how to respond. We have some neighbors and fellow daycare parents who have become friends. The mom will occasionally text me or mention to me the idea of setting up a dads night out, or a mens' play-date (she uses the term playdate). I cringe at this framing and would like to gently push back that the men are free to talk to each other (or that she's free to set up whatever she wants but I do not want to be involved). Any advice on how to deal with this/gently shut it down or redirect? Or should I just be a better sport and help our husbands do something they should do on their own but maybe won't?

I’m 15 weeks pregnant and in the US and have been in my job for over 1 year. I just announced to my manager/team that I’m pregnant and need to figure out how long my leave will be.

Personally, I would like to take as much time off as possible. Here’s the breakdown

PTO - 3-4 weeks (paid)
Paid sick leave - 1 week, need to take before STD (paid)
STD - 6 weeks (assuming I deliver vaginally) (paid)
Paid parental leave - 8 weeks (paid)
FMLA - 12 weeks but runs concurrently with PPL (unpaid)
Personal leave of absence - 90 days (unpaid)

Total that would be 18 weeks paid, 4 months unpaid (I think)

Im nervous that if I take the extra personal leave of absence my job will be in jeopardy. I’d like to think it wouldn’t be but you just never know. I also work with a lot of Europeans who have 8-12 months paid leave no questions and job security for when they come back. So it’s not atypical for someone to be out this long for maternity leave, but it’s the US and feel like it’s just so different here. We can afford the extra months of unpaid leave it’s more or less do you think I’d be stupid to take the extra time off without job security? Love to hear your experiences!

Like the title says, I had my child at 38 (almost 39), hit my 40s, and all of the sudden I started to feel incredibly incompetent at everything, including my job, to the point where my confidence has completely started to deteriorate. I've definitely become more introverted and I critique every conversation, and just feel overall in a slump.

To make matters worse, I lost my high-paying job recently and have been in recruiting hell - I've gone on dozens of interviews, made it past hiring manager screens, even receiving an offer (which I turned down for logistical reasons) but haven't received a single offer since then. Just back in October of 2025, I had an offer and tons of recruiters and hiring managers wanting to move me forward but that's when I still had a job. I suspect a lot of my confidence has been shattered since the job loss and I'm not appearing as a strong candidate.

After doing some self-evaluation, I think I'm just lacking overall confidence and executive presence. A friend offered to make an internal reference for a role and I haven't taken him up on it because I'm nervous I'm going to screw up in the interviews and make him look bad. I'm just feeling defeated honestly. It's a tough market as it is and I'm the breadwinner in a HCOL area.

Does anyone have any advice for how to fake it til you make it to make yourself look and feel more "executive"? I'm embarrassed that at my age I have to be asking this after nearly two decades in the workforce.

My daughter (7) started swimming for a rec team last year and loved it. She did very well and told me she wants to make county next year, which is when you qualify a certain time and then swim against other swimmers in the county to see who is the fastest. It’s an achievable goal, but not without hard work, which I made sure she understood.

We enrolled her in a fall clinic a few weeks ago to swim four days a week. There was an option for two days a week, but she wanted to swim four days, so we did that. Now that the clinic has started, she only wants to go twice a week because that’s when her friends are there.

I’ve talked to her about the goal she set and said that she’s there to swim, not socialize, but she’s been getting very defensive when I try to get her go at least three times a week. I couldn’t care less about whether she qualifies for county, but she did set that goal, and we did pay for her to go four days a week because she wanted to.

I don’t want this to become a fight, and I don’t want her to feel like I’m pushing her too hard, but I also want her to realize that she committed to something that we paid extra for. I’m fine with letting life teach her a lesson if she doesn’t achieve her goal, but I also don’t to be too hands off with something like this since it can be a teachable experience.

I should also add that she has been very, very emotional, sensitive, and temperamental for the last month (coinciding with the start of school), and I don’t know what’s happening there, but I already feel like I’m walking on eggshells around her, so I’m trying to be careful about poking her too hard.

I think we are finally separating. He stays at home. I work. Tell me stories about how child custody, splitting assets etc worked for you. I want at least 50/50 custody. Feeling guilty because I’ve been the sugar momma.

Hi! I need some advice, though I feel silly asking since I’m an attorney. I’ve just never dealt with this and employment law is not my area. It’s also different when you’re on the receiving end.

I just received a performance review. It was overall very positive, except for two areas: professionalism and initiative.
My boss expanded in the narratives for both that I am an absolute joy to work with, have great judgment, very knowledgeable about my field, express a desire to help my colleagues, and am very professional….BUT that there was a “deficit of time spent in the actual branch (office), which led to colleagues having to take over work assignments” and that “time spent in the office is valuable, and this is an area of improvement.” She also mentioned me frequently “having to leave early and arrive late.”

Context:
I took 3 weeks off after a late-term stillbirth/sepsis hospitalization in January.
In June, I took 3 weeks of FMLA for extreme pregnancy complications (I was prohibited from working by my MFM).
I have taken two bonafide non-pregnancy-related sick days, and nothing else. I am high-risk, so have more appointments than usual.

I work in the court system. No one has ever had to cover court when I’ve been out. I volunteer constantly to cover court for others, frequently running 3 courtrooms during weeks my non-pregnancy colleagues each run one. I stay late, I routinely do extra work at night and on weekends. I’m on top of my work.

****when I asked my boss whether there were any non-pregnancy-related instances she was referring to, she confirmed that the absences and leaving early/ arriving late instances she was referring to were due to my loss and pregnancy. She said that although she understands that I had a medical reason to be out, that it nevertheless does not change the fact that I was out and is taken into consideration.

I am not surprised…The minute I told my boss I was pregnant, she started acting strange toward me. But I’m a high performer so this has shaken me a bit, and I could not believe a fellow attorney was admitting to me that my pregnancy-related/FMLA leave was affecting a performance review.

I’ve never been on this side of it. I’m just hurt and disappointed. Do I escalate? I’m in NY.

This morning, I’ve come to the realization that I will have to put off my bachelor’s until after my child starts school in 2 years. I’m stricken with grief of the visions I’ve seen of myself finally walking across the stage after stopping and starting, just to have to stop again. I ace’d my associates and was ready to use my momentum towards my BSW. But life is so hectic right now I know I will be miserable, and I rather have less stress and better grades.
Any other mothers dealing with putting off your own success for the betterment of your mental and family? How do you not feel less than? 😕

I have 16 month old twins, and my husband and I love being parents more than anything.  We both work full-time in demanding but flexible and well-paying roles. Neither of us are sure if we’re done.

We love being parents and getting to know these two kids more than anything. Both of us are the youngest of 3 and like the idea of 3-kid dynamic and sibling relationships. But we also already feel like we don’t have any time for ourselves and to do the things we love, like exercise, hike, climb, camp, travel, etc. Life is exhausting and it’s hard to imagine pregnancy and a newborn with twin toddlers. I imagine it probably gets better by the time they’re all 4-5+, but that is just so far away. We went on an amazing trip to Europe this summer and loved it, but the whole time we’re like - this would be impossible to do with 3 kids, we’ll never travel again. 

Curious to hear folks with 3 kids and two full-time working parents. What’s it like? How’d you make the decision? What years were hardest and did it get easier at some point? Also, what’s your age gap? It took us a long time to have the twins (4 prior losses) so we kind of feel like if we want to do it, better do it soon. It could be years (or never happen), or we could accidentally end up with kids very close together.

Do other people pump enough milk for their baby to be EBF when also working full time, just by replacing a feed with a pump?

Here is our feeding schedule: -nurse in AM before work -pump at 9:30 am at work -pump at 12:30 pm at work -pump at 3:30 pm at work -nurse at 5:30 pm at home -nurse at 7:30 (bedtime) -pump at 9:30 pm before my bedtime, sometimes this is used for a bottle the next day in addition to short nursing session at 5:30, otherwise it’s frozen- I have like 4 oz in the freezer -one overnight nursing session

Wash rinse repeat. On weekends I just nurse and keep the before bedtime pumping session.

My baby will usually take a 5 oz bottle for each feed while I’m at work, sometimes not quite finishing it. I pump 3 oz per 14 min pumping session. so baby gets about 6 oz of formula a day.

If you get enough milk for zero supplementation… how? Do you just have a big supply? Are you pumping more than I am?

For context I have an ideal work pumping set up, I’m very lucky. Access to a private wellness room with a sink and fridge, right next to my office, but I often need to work while pumping. I’m supposed to have that time as unpaid breaks but it’s not like I get an hour less work to do each day. Would I really get more milk if I could fully relax during pumping?

The director at my daughter's daycare left a few weeks ago (discordance with ownership). 3/4 infant room teachers that my 11 month old daughter has come to know and love over the last 3 months have either left as well or put in their notice. I know turnover happens in daycares, but I can't help but be super concerned that nearly all the teachers my daughter has become used to are now gone and I feel like it's only a matter of time before the fourth teacher leaves too. And my daughter will be moved to a transition room for young toddlers. I just feel like it's too much change but the daycare has been great up until this point and it's super close to home. What should I do? Any advice on how I can handle this. I'm a first-time mom so this is all new to me. Please let me know if I'm overreacting or if my feelings are valid?

My 7 month old starts daycare next week and I have some questions to help us manage all of the colds that are about to wreak havoc on my house.

- Are there any supplements he can take? Vitamin C or zinc? He’s exclusively breastfed- should I just take these? Can I give him oranges regularly?

- Can I use hand sanitizer or antibacterial soap on him?

- Do you still need to use the snot sucker past 6 months? If so, is the Noze Bot worth it? I have the Frida one that he hates very much but he’ll sort of let me do the saline spray

- How do I know when to take his temperature? He runs warm most of the time anyways. Will I be able to tell he has a fever? Can we do his temp orally now?

- Any general tips to help us through? My husband works per diem and I maxed out my sick days from mat leave so I’ve accepted our fate but if there’s anything like routines or whatever to help, I’ll take all the advice!

I’m at a total loss what to do and I figured some of you experienced moms might offer some advice…

My son just turned 2 and goes to an immersion Spanish speaking preschool that we all love (mom, dad and son) even though no one at home speaks Spanish. We’ve seen his language really grow and he understands everything they are saying there which is cool to see.

He keeps having biting incidents almost every week over sharing toys at school. He never bites at home so it’s really hard for us to correct this behavior because if not happening in front of us. We talk to him about it when he gets home, we read him books, we pretend play sharing with his toys, have had more playdates etc and I’m at a total loss how to fix this. He says “ no bite” we ask him what ti do if someone takes your toy and he says “share” so he knows not to bite.

I’m considering switching preschools just because I feel like something has to be a miss if this has been going on almost year now and how frequently it’s happening.

Does anyone have any tips because I’m truly devastated. He’s such a sweet kid and I hate seeing this behavior from him because I know he doesn’t mean harm.

What % increase in total comp would it take for you to go from fully remote → 3 days/week in office? 15%, 20%, 25%, 30%+?

I have two young kids, both in full-time school/childcare. The office would be only 12 minutes from home and 10 minutes from kindergarten, so the commute is very manageable.

It’s the same job with a different company, my current company’s leadership and direction is really in the dumps after a reorg. I’m coasting, which sometimes is perfectly fine and other times it feels icky and I question my job security.

Curious what other working moms’ number would be - if any number at all, and any other string considerations, even if it’s just unique to your situation.

Wtf are y’all making for dinner 😵‍💫

I get home with both kids (5yo and 17mo) around 5/5:30 and they are starving.

Do you have any favorite dinners that are ready in 10 minutes or less that are decently healthy?

Is the answer to try some meal prep? We were gym bros once upon a time and so I’ve only meal prepped for that.

Something’s that are making this tricky:

- My 5 yo doesn’t want the same dinner 2 nights in a row unless it’s cup o noodle. I’ve tried. lol

- we all hate crockpot meals. I’ve tried so many - I don’t mind pot roast or some soups.

- I also hate freezer meals. I tried them both times I was pregnant to have for PP and they all went uneaten.

We do have a Costco and a Sam’s that I usually end up at every other week!

Hi everyone! I’m in a bit of a sticky situation. I recently started a new job in July on a one year maternity cover contract, after leaving a previous corporate job due to redundancy. I’ve also just found out I am 7 weeks pregnant, with my last period starting on the same week I started this job.

Now here’s the problem: I have a 5 month probation for this 12 month role, when should I tell them about the pregnancy? My role also being maternity cover is filling me with guilt over the situation however I can’t do much about that now.

To add another layer of complexity I’ve been feeling quite sick with this pregnancy, our HR teammate announced her pregnancy to me last week as I am in a managerial role. This is making things feel harder listening to her openly talk about the struggles while silently dealing with mine due to my work situation. WWYD?

I’m faced with a dilemma- a job offer that would more than double my salary, but require a 40 min commute 5 days a week. Or, stay where I am with a good enough salary but working from home and very lax schedule- eg I walk my kids to school in the morning, can complete work tasks after bedtime so I can be present with them in the afternoon. I don’t love working. TBH I lost the desire to climb the corporate ladder pretty much the moment I survived an emergency c-section and never wanted to go back.

If I suck it up and take the job, we can finally move out of our cute but very very cramped starter home. I could start a 529 and save for college. It would put us in a way better position. I know I wouldn’t love it but part of me feels like if the only barrier is my lack of work ethic (laziness really) then I have to do it right? I’m just tired guys and the Wellbutrin isn’t kicking the way it used to 😭

I’m considering leaving my full-time job to do consulting/fractional work, and I’d love to hear from other working moms who have made a similar switch.

My goal is to have a more flexible, part-time schedule with more control over my time while still earning a decent income. For anyone who’s made this transition, has it panned out the way you were hoping? Are you actually able to have more flexibility and control over your schedule? Are you making an income you’re happy with? How long did it take you to find clients and build enough consistent work?

Any advice on how to get started is appreciated!

Alright working mama’s, help me with this dilemma.

Right now I work 4 days in office, an hour commute each way (8 hours total a week, 2 hours per day). I like my job, I don’t loveeee my job. It’s high stress and the commute makes it 10x worse. Like many, my mentality changed a lot after having my first (2yo) and I’ve just found out I’m pregnant with my second (only 6 weeks along so very early). Additional context, I am not the breadwinner of the family and not chasing my career. I like to work so I have maintained having a job but am blessed that my husband has a great job and can support the family financially (if needed).

Fast forward, I’ve been offered a job with a fully remote company who is in early stages and gives off start up vibes in terms of growth. There is a lot of potential and I enjoyed my interviews but in general when I first got the offer, I was quite turned off by the lack of PTO and sick pay offered as a standard to employees (10 days PTO with a 15 day cap in the bank and 6 days sick with only 6 days cap in the bank). I’m coming from a job (at a very large well-known company) where I get 15 days PTO with 4 floating holidays (1 per quarter) and unlimited sick leave. It made me nervous about their work/life balance and overall flexibility with taking paid time off. After negotiation (which they were very open to), they’ve counter offered to 15 days PTO with a cap of 20 days in the bank. They said they cannot change the sick time but they are very open to letting employees use unpaid time as sick time if they ever run out and it’s a common practice in the company.

editing to add: the annual salary is exactly the same as my current, HOWEVER, there is no end of year bonus so that is about a $20k loss annually from my current role.

Anyways, now after my initial hesitation, I’m wondering mama’s that have taken the risk on a job that is fully remote and leaving a stable in-person career. Is it worth it? All of the threads I’ve read have said yes. Does this new company’s policy give anyone else hesitation or is it worth it just to take the leap an have the from home flexibility?

Last note - going back to my earlier comment about not being the bread winner. As the absolute worst case scenario, I could quit after having my second?

What would you do?

Hi! So all my friends that live in my area are SAHM moms. 2 of them are neighbors, and they’re always hanging out. I understand that they’re going to hang out without me during the week, but then when the weekend comes around it’s like I’m not even a thought since they got to hang out during the week.

And one of my friends will tell me how her and our mutual are doing all this fun stuff, but is it too much for me to expect them to wait until the weekend to do things from time to time so I can be included? Anyone else feeling excluded because their SAHM friends only want to hang out with friends during the week?

To add: I was friends with them separately first, so them hanging out all the time without me instead of as a group only started happening once we became moms a year ago.

Sons 3rd birthday is coming up in October and we splurged for a party at his favorite indoor play space.

I feel like people’s weekends fill up fast, especially here in the south with football season.

As a mom/caregiver, would you think it’s weird to get a save the date for a toddler birthday party with another invitation coming later?

Edit- thanks y’all! I’m going to do an invitation after Labor Day so it doesn’t get lost. Unfortunately I don’t have a parent contact list, so I can only rely on paper invitations going home with his friends. Family/family friends get the evite!

Any tips on how to not completely resent your husband in this season of navigating work and young children? I’m returning to work next month and I’m worried about the mental load that I’m carrying without the burden of work being added to the mix. I have a 4 month old and almost 3 year old. He has yet to help with any overnights and has not taken both children by himself yet. He says he can’t get up in the night and then work during the daytime which I’ve been understanding of but I know when I return to work he will expect me to do it. Any time I ask for help or try to delegate tasks (which isn’t easy for me) he just tells me to hire someone because he’s ‘too busy’. Our children are in daycare but I work weird hours including late evenings and weekends. Do I need to get ahead of this and hire a part time nanny/house manager so my relationship doesn’t completely suffer?