I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been seeing this pattern constantly and it really makes me think.
It opened my eyes for some things and I really want to talk about it.

And just to clarify: I’m going to describe this pretty technically on purpose, i want my point to be clear. This isn’t necessarily how I personally date or choose people; I’m trying to describe a pattern I’ve been observing and understand whether other people notice it too.

I don’t mean the usual “men will sleep with women they wouldn’t date” thing purely in terms of looks/sex/compatibility etc.

I mean the social side of choosing a girlfriend.

I’ve noticed men who are pretty ordinary themselves with average/middle-class jobs, not wealthy or exceptionally successful, seem to choose serious girlfriends who have a certain kind of socially desirable life around them.
By that I mean things like: she has a good social circle, travels, has friends and connections, comes from a respected or interesting background, is socially polished, has hobbies/accomplishments, is well-liked, gets validation from other people and generally looks like someone whose life is “going somewhere.”
She may not even be particularly rich or professionally successful. It’s more that she has social capital and looks good as the woman he publicly chose.

Meanwhile, another woman may be attractive enough for him to sleep with, talk to for months, have a situationship with, seek attention from etc., but he never seems to seriously consider her as his girlfriend.
It makes me wonder whether it always works like that for most men.

Like the two different thresholds:

Private attraction versus Public partner selection

Or in other words:
“Do I like her/ want sex / enjoy her company?”
And
“What does having her as my girlfriend say about me? Does she fit into the life/image I want? Does being associated with her increase my social standing or give me access to a better social world?”

Again, I don’t mean some billionaire looking for an heiress. I mean completely normal men potentially caring about the social value of the woman they publicly commit to.

Do you take into account how socially ‘well-matched’ you look with a woman when you decide whether to make her your girlfriend?
Like, not just whether you’re attracted to her privately, but whether she fits your social circle, lifestyle and public image and whether you look like a ‘good match’ to other people?

I (26F) helped my brother (24M) get a good job, he quit after 3 months, and now he blames me for putting him in that situation. How do I fix our relationship?

I (26F) helped my brother (24M) get a job through a friend of mine who is a non-managing partner in the business. My friend wasn't involved in my brother's day to day work or management, but obviously I still felt somewhat personally invested because I was the one who helped get his foot in the door.

My brother had been unemployed for over a year beforehand and living with our dad, so I was genuinely excited to help him find something. It seemed like a really good opportunity... benefits, paid training, a field he went to trade school for, and after his training period they were impressed enough with his work to give him a raise.

The problem is the workplace culture. Some of the people there apparently made racist comments and generally behaved in ways that made my brother extremely uncomfortable. We're white, but I completely understand why hearing racist comments would bother him. I don't think he was wrong for deciding he didn't want to work around those people.

Where he and I disagree is how he handled it.

I've encountered racism, sexism, classism, and other awful behavior at work. As a chick, I've dealt with plenty of misogyny or sexist comments, do you know how many times a girl can be told "You should smile more"?! My approach has generally been to push back when necessary, ignore what isn't worth engaging with, and ultimately find another job or report to supervision if I see fit. My brother seems to react very differently. He gets extremely angry, argues with people, and sometimes becomes just as hostile as the people he's criticizing. Eventually he was simply going to quit and burn the bridge behind him and hard.

In oure recent fight, I told him I actually supported him finding another job. I basically said, "I'm sorry this didn't work out." My only argument was that he should leave professionally instead of destroying a potentially useful reference and abruptly walking away from a company that had invested time and money training him. And also possibly damage my five-year friendship, although I don't think that my friend is that petty, it will still be weird af.

That fight went very badly. I dont think we've argued like that since he was eighteen. He started blaming me for putting him in this situation in the first place.... and that's what I'm struggling with.

I helped him get the opportunity, but he accepted the job. I didn't know what his coworkers/managers would be like, and I certainly didn't intend to put him somewhere miserable. If I'd known beforehand that he'd have this experience, I wouldn't have recommended it and I would have looked at other places and connections I have.

I also recognize that I didn't handle our argument perfectly. I became condescending, rambled, and probably focused too much on what I thought he should do. I apologized and acknowledged my part in helping create a situation where he felt stuck, but I thought I was showing him that I would support his way out as long as he remained respectful. Maybe that's where my mistake was. I'm pretty sure it is.

But now our relationship feels damaged. The last time I saw him, he wouldn't even hug me. That might sound minor, but we've always been close and affection like that is important in our relationship and in building trust. It really hurt. He usually comes to me when something serious is going on, and I failed him really bad this time.

There are other things worrying me too... He's living with our elderly father, isn't contributing much around the house, and frequently gets angry with him when Dad asks for help. Everything seems to become an argument. He also had an extended absence from this job after an injury, and the company still held his position because they wanted him back. When he was working, he was cleaning and contributing and everything seemed to be better. Even his relationship with his girlfriend got better when he was working.

I'm worried there's something bigger going on with him emotionally. At the same time, I'm frustrated because our dad can't continue supporting him indefinitely, and I don't think blaming everyone around him is going to help him build a life for himself.

I don't want to fight with him. I don't even care about the job anymore. He quit, it's done.

I just want my brother to trust me and to know that I love him dearly no matter what.

How do I support him without enabling him?

Started seeing someone and I’m so attracted to everything about him. He’s funny and smart and hot.

He constantly tells me that I’m gorgeous and fun and all the stuff. Some part of my brain thinks that he is just saying it to be nice…

Do guys shower with compliments and text a ton to be nice? Or does he truly mean it?

I also have to actively stop myself from texting him because I’m in full infauation mode. Trying to play it cool- is that dumb?!

To be honest, I’m not used to feeling this way. I’ve never really liked someone more than they like me.

I (20M) was in a relationship with my best friend for a month. We started as best friends, which evolved into a year-long situationship. It was a good time. I loved her, we went on dates, etc. At the time, she was dealing with anxiety and lacked confidence, so she wasn't ready to make things official. At the end of our second year, I confessed my feelings again, and she accepted.

We dated for about a month before semester break hit. During the break, she told me the relationship felt constraining, so we took a break, which ultimately led to a full breakup. It broke my heart, and my hopes for a future with her were shattered.

Once I got through the initial grieving phase, I made a firm promise to myself: even if she ever came back, I wouldn't take her back, and I would move on entirely. Reaching that decision took a lot of mental effort. Because we were classmates, total no-contact wasn't possible, but I set firm boundaries, stopped getting involved in her life, and focused on other friendships.

Over the course of 6+ months, I made real progress. I reached a point where I could acknowledge that we weren't meant to be and wouldn't have worked out, while still appreciating the good times we shared.

However, my progress has hit a wall. Even though she has since moved away from the city, I feel completely stagnant. There are still nights when I miss her or find myself thinking about her. I want to move on fully so I have zero romantic feelings left and can enter a new, healthy relationship without bringing any of this baggage with me.

What should I do to cross this final hurdle? Has anyone else experienced this "stagnant" phase of healing?

sorry if this isn’t the right group I just made this throwaway account and it won’t let me post in some others. I’m a 24 yo guy and I’m struggling with ED. The first time my gf and I had sex it was great but the second time I got nervous and lost my erection and since then it’s been causing this awful loop of bad performande and performance anxiety. Drugs like viagara and cialias arent an option so I was hoping to see what people have done that helps. it’s just hard to beat the self fulfilling prophecy.

I’m 35 and I’ve been quiet pretty much my whole life. In relationships, I have a tendency to just go along with things and keep my mouth shut rather than speak up when something bothers me.

The frustrating thing is that whenever I go on dates with men, they often say they want an independent, outgoing, confident woman. I actually am independent, but I’m not particularly outgoing or assertive. I’m more of a quiet, easygoing person.

I understand that some men might prefer someone more outspoken, but it’s frustrating because I feel like men see me as too passive when there’s actually a lot more to me than that.

The bigger problem is that when I’ve ended up in relationships, I sometimes don’t realise until the end that I’ve been taken advantage of. I don't speak up when I should, I let things slide, and then eventually realise I've been accepting things I wasn't actually okay with.

I’m starting to wonder if I’m just fundamentally not what men are looking for.

Is it hopeless for me at 35? Do men actually want a woman who is quiet and easygoing but still independent, or do most men really want someone more outspoken and assertive?

Men, I genuinely want your perspective on this.
My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2.5 years and overall we’ve had a really good relationship. We’re best friends, loving and supportive, and we’ve done couples therapy when we’ve had issues and worked through a lot together.

Recently, he’s been struggling with feeling torn. He says he loves me, doesn’t want to lose me, and wants to work on our relationship. He’s currently in therapy and is actively trying to understand why he feels this way. But he also says part of him misses being single, specifically the novelty/rush of meeting someone new and the freedom that comes with it.

He’s told me he feels genuinely conflicted because he wants what we have, but part of him also wants that other life.

I want monogamy, so I’m not interested in solving this by opening the relationship.

I’m also trying NOT to chase him, convince him to choose me, monitor him, or make his decision for him. I want to focus on my own life and give him room to figure out what he actually wants.

I’m especially curious to hear from men who have been in long-term relationships:

Have you ever gone through a phase like this while genuinely loving your partner?
Did it ultimately mean you wanted out, or was it something you worked through?
If you worked through it, what actually helped you figure out what you wanted?

And from a man’s perspective, what does healthy “space” from a girlfriend look like in this situation without her emotionally abandoning the relationship or sitting around waiting to be chosen?
I’m looking for honest perspectives, even if they’re uncomfortable.

For years, we had an intense, long-distance thing, very unrequited, were we married in a another life kind of thing, that seemed impossible for practical reasons, among others. Then, when we finally saw each other again, we realized how much of what had kept us apart had actually been mutual misreading. The feeling was still there. We talked through what had happened, discovered a lot we hadn’t known about each other’s assumptions, and kissed. Afterward, he swung between saying the connection with me was too intense to treat casually and pointing to the fact that he was seeing someone else. We left it in a strange but almost peaceful place—like, okay, at least we finally did this and told the truth about it. I followed up afterward to say, essentially, that I meant it and still felt the same way. He never responded. It's not weeks later, which is a few days longer than usual, but even then, there was always a way for him to reach out on a related subject or just ignore what had happened. No, nothing. What does it mean when a man goes silent for this long?

I thought I finally found someone to ask out on a date, but it appears he’s been in a relationship for 15+ years.

We cross paths a few times a month at a local lunch spot, have great conversations for like 40 min that only end because one of us has to return to work.

I‘ve heard so much about his life. I’ve seen pictures of “his“ house (their house), current projects, shares his plans, and so much more. Past relationships have come up in conversation. I live closer to a coastal area and he joked about moving in with me (but idk if that’s reading into it too much bc so many people like the beach).

Is it wrong to find it odd, and wonder if he’s purposefully omitting he’s had a partner when he’s shared so much else with me? It honestly makes me unsure whether I should remain friends with him.

My friend met a girl through a game, and she became very attached to him. Whenever she has a problem, she turns to him because he is always the one who helps and saves her.

He doesn’t have romantic feelings for her and has always made it clear that he doesn’t want a relationship with her. She confessed her feelings, but he rejected her.

However, he feels sorry for her and once promised that he would never leave her, so he feels guilty about distancing himself. She continues to contact him using her problems or other excuses as a reason to get his attention and help.

What do you think about both of their positions, and what would be the healthiest solution for this situation, considering that he has never wanted a romantic relationship with her?

I am aware that a very similar question has been asked a couple of days ago, but mine is a bit different.

Basically, assume that you have a man and a woman. Basic physical attraction is there, but no moves are being made. These man and woman start to come together every evening for drinks after work where they talk about anything and everything, and after some time, they start speaking up on their emotions, personalities, what they think of life, their insecurities, their life goals in relation to their childhood dreams, their family dynamics, their hopes and fears, and things they are afraid to tell others. This goes on for a month or so.

Would such a situation cause a man to be attached to the woman, and feel a sense of closeness? It doesn’t even have to be romantic, but I am wondering if this man would feel understood and safe.

And yes, this is something that happened to me and I felt deeply understood and safe. Looking at it years later, I never knew if he felt the same way and wanted to ask here. We connected on everything, and somehow both of us accepted the other as we were and it felt very precious to me.

Hi, I (33F) have been with my husband (38M) for 10 years, married for 5 and proud parents of 1 amazing child. I love him and I know for sure he does too. We are extremely compatible in everything: fun, intellectual, financial, values etc. except sex. Sex for me is very important, I am a very horny person and have quite a few sexual fantasies. He is a bit more vanilla Our sex has never been amazing unfortunately and I thought I can overlook it but it has only become more and more frustrating. We speak about it openly, and he seems to listen to me and engage, but it always fades away after a week or so. Just to give some details:

1.Foreplay is very short or nonexistent

2.he seldom goes down on me (feeds into topic 1)

3.even when I beg (e.g. I was 8 months pregnant) he will not give me a massage -regardless whether it is with happy ending or not, but he always asks and gets them

1. He comes before me about half of the time and we end the session (I think his maximum reach is around 12-15 min and my minimum around 20-25min)

5.we never Experiment and denies wanting anything different.

6.he gets close very quickly and then I feel the pressure to hurry so most often I get on top just to be able to finish in time, this has become routine

We had a conversation 2 weeks ago as in the past year the points above really bothered me. he mentions it will come with practice and more sex? I didn't have an answer to that bc I really do not want to make him insecure, but in 10 years we did not evolve much.

I would just like to have sex maybe twice per week in a fun and flirty manner where we both take our time and play and explore each other. In all my previous relationships people appreciated my openness and desire, however right now I feel that my pleasure seldom matters. He is by far the best man I have ever been with and whatever happens I will stick with him. He is a very confident and experienced men who had by far more partners than me so shyness and inexperience should not be an issue

.I am reaching out to you for advices on what I can do? How to get him to keep in mind my needs a bit longer? How to get him into the one or other fun activity? Even how to make him last longer?Pa. Sorry for any misspelling, English is not my first language

Context: I’ve been talking to this girl(A) for about a little over a month, and it was originally going very well and we met up 2 times( although nothing happened l), now after that it kinda lost momentum but she still seems a little interested. Now, when I was doing temporary work I met another girl (B) and we hit it off very well and very quickly, and at the end of the day she gave me her socials on a slip of paper with some hearts on it. I haven’t messaged her yet or anything, and I just feel stuck and unsure of what to do, what makes it more confusing as well is that I go to the same college with girl A and am in the same class, whereas girl B I do not know outside of that 1 day of work. Another thing to consider is the age gap, as I am relatively Newley 17, and girl B is 19, idk if that’s weird or not.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated

I used to have extreme shyness at 14 but now I do talk to lots of people and I am a low key extrovert. But there is one thing that stumps me. Guys I like, the words just get stuck in my throat because it feels like my throat is swelling up, I feel like my cheeks go hot, and then when they look confused I feel ashamed of myself. So that makes it worse. I don’t want to be like it but I just get so nervous and I don’t know what to do with my hands and I do know what I could say but it just won’t come out of my mouth.

I have had 9 ask outs but only one this year. I barely ever talk to guys especially ones I like. There is this one guy he is so gorgeous and I only stare at him when he’s not looking. There are no girls in my classes he is friends of a friend. My friend is a guy but he’s easy to talk to so I find it easy talk to him. With this guy I haven’t even tried. I’m pretty sure he has a girlfriend and if not he probably will very soon,

I would talk to him but just I know I’ll act like an idiot again. Also I worry I’m just not pretty enough. People have said I’m pretty and a classic beauty actually quite a lot of people. But I think they’re just being nice. My family friend was mean to me about my looks and my best friend at 14 called me ugly.
I mean I didn’t say yes to any of the guys that asked me out so maybe that is the problem. But I just didn’t like them in that way. I have barely any guys in my classes this year. There is this one girl I know and she asks EVERYONE out not even kissing in her club there are only like 5 people and she has asked 4 of them out. I think she’s cool, she is a character. But she is definitely different. So she has had boyfriends and girlfriends. I’m straight anyway but idk I just thought maybe I have never had a boyfriend yet because I was different but idk. I’m 16 by the way almost 17.

So will I just never have a boyfriend? Why do I act like this? How come she has had so many relationships?

I moved in with my bf two days ago and I’ve been struggling to make him cum. He gets hard and thinks he’s about to cum but he just won’t. I’ve been giving him head and he normally comes from that alone but he hasn’t, this morning tried to give him head again and he wouldn’t cum. Tonight I went over to his room and was dressed all sexy but he turned me away because “I’m not going to cum” and he said he doesn’t want me to be tired. I’m worried that he’s now lost attraction for me but at the same time he gets hard in two seconds.. any tips of how to get him to cum for me.

I've been dating this guy for 7 months now. He's the most loyal person I've ever met, but I still feel he's distant. I don't feel like he's sexually attracted to me. I consider myself overweight, but am athletic. He is so much fitter than me that sometimes I compete or I think he's judging me. I don't know what to do

I recently just found out that my boyfriend stopped having sex with me because I’m not on birth control.
Context: In the beginning, when we first spent the night together, I was very, very open about how I’m not on birth control and I don’t want to mess with my body, nor was there ever a reason for me to be on it, as I’ve never had a serious enough boyfriend (used condoms). We agreed to use condoms and did for about a week. Then, one day, he stopped wearing them because it’s uncomfortable for him, and we were exclusively seeing only each other, so I was okay with it as long as he was, so we just went with the “pull-out method.”

We’ve been together for 7 months now, and I’d say about a month and a half ago, he stopped having sex with me. I’d initiate it, but nothing other than him getting a blowjob would happen. He is fully aware I love giving oral, and I find it pleasing for me to do, but it slowly has gotten to the point where he wouldn’t finger me, give me oral, or anything other than the simple makeout and suck on my nipples.
I slowly reached the point where I felt extremely unattractive and that he wasn’t turned on by me at all. I’ve been very vocal about how I’d like for him to let me know before he is about to orgasm so I can stop and we can continue on with intercourse. Obviously, that didn’t work because he doesn’t make much noise and is pretty silent other than the occasional grunt when getting oral.

I’m a kinky person, and from the beginning, he agreed that he’s kinky as well. I bring handcuffs, vibrators, butt plugs, nipple clamps, and a bunch of other exciting stuff sometimes. It worked twice, and ever since, I was always turned down.
Last weekend, I decided that I’ve had enough of this extremely one-sided sex life we’ve been having and was more assertive with asking him why he isn’t intimate with me anymore and only ever expects oral from me with nothing in return. He told me he gets hard from me very easily and could have sex multiple times in a day, but the issue he’s having is that I’m not on birth control, and when he thinks about me not being on any, it makes him turned off from me.

I’m aware this is a valid concern, but it’s more the fact that he waited 7 months to tell me, and the only reason he ever told me was because I finally confronted him about it. I told him that it wasn’t an id never agree to birth control ever but more of an I’ll look into it more with my doctor and research it online if the relationship is getting serious. I’ve heard many bad things about it and I’ve had family members whose fertility was affected by it. Now I’ve made an appointment with my doctor about birth control methods, and when I told him that I did, he didn’t say much other than “okay.” I even went and ordered the Opill and had it shipped to me but decided I’d rather talk to my doctors first. Our conversation was honestly like a gut punch, and I don’t know how to feel about it other than deep sadness, but I’m trying to not think about the negatives.

Any advice?

And do you think you can love someone even if you don't feel butterflies, you never really miss them when you don't see them and not feel jealous even though you're usually jealous? But you enjoy seeing them, feel sexually attracted and you're happy when they're happy and sad when they're sad.

Il mio ragazzo non riesce a iniziare una conversazione, per me non è un problema, ma di solito quando usciamo mi rendo conto di star parlando solo io, se gli faccio domande o altro non ha problemi ma visto che amo ascoltare se gli chiedo di raccontarmi qualcosaltro o se deve iniziare un altro argomento di conversazione non sa cosa inventarsi

I am a 49F recently broke up with a 49M. We were together for eight months.

As all women do, I receive unsolicited messages from guys on messenger. I never respond to any of them, no thumbs up no heart no response of any kind and they go away.

I broke up with my boyfriend recently because we are always arguing. He puts me down constantly and picks apart everything that I do it’s never good enough and I just couldn’t take it anymore. It’s truly wearing me down as a person.

He has been angry with me lately because I haven’t initiated sex in the past two weeks which is true. He says I’m rejecting him. I starting working two jobs and seven days a week. He has his own place, but has lived with me for the past seven months and I pay all of the bills. I cook all the meals I do all of the laundry. I take care of my home and quite frankly I’ve been exhausted since taking on a second job and haven’t quite adjusted yet. Rather than giving me some type of grace, he chews me out constantly for not meeting his needs sexually.

During our breakup , he told me that I am a classless wh*re because when guys would randomly message me, I didn’t respond to them and specifically say I have a boyfriend, instead, I ignored them, therefore I was cheating on him. I truly can’t understand the logic in that. Do men actually consider this cheating?

I’m looking for honest opinions from men, especially men around 25–35. My boyfriend and I are both 29, and we got into a discussion about whether a 29-year-old man would/should consider an 18- or 19-year-old sexually appropriate. I asked him if he was into “barely legal” girls, and he initially said “if you’re asking if I was single, if I would ever have sex with a 18-19 year old the answer is yes.” He then said that if he were single and happened to meet an attractive 18- or 19-year-old at a function, they clicked, and she was consenting, he wouldn’t necessarily see a problem with having a hook up or sex with her.

He emphasized that he doesn’t specifically seek out teenagers, doesn’t have a preference for them, and says his actual preference is women around 25–30 for a relationship. He said he wouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone 18 to 19 because they wouldn’t share common interests. He also said he wouldn’t knowingly pursue a girl who was still in high school, even if she were 18, although he did defend that some girls from when he went to highschool were also in relationships with older men. When I asked directly whether he currently finds 18- or 19-year-olds sexually attractive, he said no, but clarified that he can recognize that an 18- or 19-year-old can be physically attractive if she looks mature.

What bothered me most was that he repeatedly said he thinks most/all men would do the same thing if the opportunity arose and that men who say otherwise are probably lying. I personally feel that 18 is too young for a 29-year-old, regardless of whether the person is technically an adult, and I would expect most men nearing 30 to have a lower age boundary. I’m genuinely curious: as a man around this age, would you consider an 18- or 19-year-old sexually appropriate for a 29-year-old, or would the age difference/life stage make her too young for you? And do you think most men would actually feel the way my boyfriend says they would?

I wouldn’t expect him to have that outlook. Also I should mention that he’s never had a one night stand and that I was his first sexual partner and gf. So im not sure if I should take this seriously to heart or let it go. It’s not sitting right with me.

I’m 35F and my fiancé is 31M. I love him and he’s genuinely a very affectionate person. He tells me he loves me, reassures me, spends time with me, etc. But lately I’ve been struggling with how unequal our relationship feels when it comes to finances, household responsibilities, and overall initiative.
I make significantly more money than he does and currently pay for the majority of our expenses. I’ve never wanted income or financial status to determine someone’s value in a relationship, so the fact that I make more isn’t necessarily the problem.
The problem is that I also feel like I’m doing most of everything else.
For example, yesterday I came home, made him soup because he wasn’t feeling great, made dinner, prepared lunch for him to take to work, cleaned up, and still made time for us to spend together.
This morning I called him and he was still lying in bed. Our place needed to be picked up, there were dishes, towels that could have been thrown into the laundry, the bed could have been made, etc. He hadn’t really done anything.
I lost my temper because it felt like yet another example of me constantly seeing what needs to be done and doing it while he waits for things to happen or for me to ask.
He does struggle with ADHD and depression, and I know both can affect motivation, energy, and executive functioning. I genuinely try to be understanding and compassionate about that. At the same time, I’m struggling with where to draw the line between supporting someone through their mental health struggles and compensating for them by taking on more and more of our shared responsibilities.
I think part of why this affects me so much is my background. I’m first generation, the first person in my family to graduate college, and the first to build a corporate career. I’ve always had a very strong work ethic and “figure it out” mentality. So being with someone who is struggling financially and professionally has already required me to adjust some of the expectations I had for my future.
But what scares me more is thinking about children.
Realistically, if we have kids, pregnancy and motherhood are already going to place additional physical and emotional responsibilities on me. If I’m also the primary breadwinner AND the person managing the house, meals, appointments, cleaning, planning, and eventually most of the childcare, I genuinely don’t think I could handle it without becoming deeply resentful.
What makes this complicated is that he isn’t uncaring. He’s loving and affectionate. But I’ve realized that I need acts of service just as much as affection. I want a partner who notices that the dishwasher needs to be emptied or laundry needs to be started and just does it. I don’t want to manage another adult or give someone a chore list.
I also know that I can be very driven, and I sometimes wonder whether my expectations are too high because I naturally operate at a faster pace than he does.
But I’m starting to feel like if I’m carrying more financially, I especially need my partner to take initiative in other areas of our life so that our relationship still feels like a partnership.
For people who have been married or had kids, is this something couples can realistically work through, or is this the type of dynamic that usually gets worse once children are involved?
And for anyone who has been the higher-earning partner, how did you distinguish between having unrealistic expectations and legitimately carrying too much of the relationship?
TL;DR: I love my fiancé, but I’m carrying most of the financial and household responsibilities. He struggles with ADHD and depression, which I try to be understanding about, but I’m worried I’m becoming responsible for compensating for everything. I’m especially scared about what this dynamic will be in the long run as we’re engaged.