I really don't like cheaters.

It started with my own father who cheated on my mother multiple times with several women and even got two of them pregnant while my mom was pregnant with my second brother. Leading to a messy divorce my views on relationships was affected.

Another instance is where I currently work, several of my coworkers have cheated on their husband's/wives.

1.one man i worked with cheated on his wife with a woman at our place of work.

2.a woman i work with cheated on her husband even though they have a child together and after their divorce she got pregnant with the guy she cheated on her husband with.

3.another man that i work with admitted to me that he used to go to a club and hooked with random women and some of those women were married and had no problem cheating on their husband's, and to make it worse he is married now and has a child and he has bragged about already cheating on his own wife (yes, he openly bragged about it).

And the most recent instance is a close friend of my mother who recently found out her husband was trying to have a child with another woman who knew he was married.

All of this has negatively affected how i view relationships and I now feel like trust is dead.

Because you can trust somebody but they need to show they are trustworthy and cheating is not a good way to that.

I am honestly scared to try dating because I have a fear of being cheated on.

I went on a date with a girl on Sunday and since I don't have any experience with women, I acted and talked like as I was hanging out with guys.

It's quite easy for me to get along with guys, but I guess it's not the same way talking to women cause she told me that she thought I was rude.

Apparently I don't know how to talk to women cause I never interacted with them after elementary school since there weren't any. I was just being me.

Someone told me they loved me and I know he did not mean it but it felt so good. I am so lonely, I forgot how it felt when someone expresses love. I felt like I needed it so badly. I felt so good for a while until the fantasy burst.

If I had someone who genuinely loved me I would be another person. But men never really love you. I am so tired of having to spot red flags so so tired. I don't even want to talk to anyone anymore because I can't take another disappointment.

But the urge for companionship and appreciation is so strong. I am at a point where I am so isolated. If I died no one would notice probably for months even. I have no idea how I got here. And I have no idea how to get out of it. Maybe I don't even want to. Once you see how people really are you can not go back.

Usually I don’t feel lonely. It just doesn’t cross my mind. But I’m sitting in bed at 1am realising I have 0 friends (not 0 close friends, I mean 0 friends in general). I have family but they have a tendency to say mean things that upset me when I open up to them. Partly my fault for being very sensitive but yeah. Last year I thought I’d made a proper friend. We’d talk on discord a lot and we’d considered hanging out in person (same country) and then the messages got shorter and they eventually just stopped talking to me. That made me feel sad.

Im not depressed. I have aspirations. Currently working on my art so that I can make manga/comics as that’s what I’m passionate about. But man… I don’t have any friends. Nobody to talk to. Not even online. I sometimes talk to people anonymously online but they never really get to know me. I can handle it most days but on days like this, it does make me feel sad. I’m too much of a boring person. I used to think if somebody had the same interests and hobbies as me, I’ll naturally be able to become friends with them. But nope. You need good social skills and to not be boring and quiet. I’m very bad at being interesting. I’m too quiet I guess.

It’d be nice to have a girlfriend too. I’d honestly like to be a father some day. Or at least that’s what I thought would naturally happen but I guess that’s not in the cards for quiet introverted men like me.

Anyway just a ramble before I go to bed. If you’ve made it this far, I guess your attention span hasn’t been fried by short form content so give yourself a pat on the back.

I’ve been feeling really low lately because it felt like the whole world was telling me how worthless I am. I made it to the final interview at a prestigious hospital after a two-month-long process, only to get rejected. I had also gained a lot of weight on top of already being ugly and FA, so that didn’t exactly help my situation.

Because I had been so focused on that interview, I couldn't prepare for another hospital interview that was scheduled just two days later. I went there feeling like shit, and when they asked me questions, I literally answered “Sorry, I don’t know” to all three of them since i didn't study.

But somehow, I got lucky and due to them putting a lot of emphasis on my English score (i'm korean),I got accepted.

I’ll still be applying to other hospitals, but at least now I don’t have to worry about being unemployed after graduation. I basically have a ICU nursing job secured for next year.

I guess all those depressing Reddit posts I’ve been posting in english weren’t completely pointless after all.😅

I’m FA and ugly, but at least I’ll have money to feed myself(since i'll have noone to look after me), and I now have a real chance of eventually pursuing my goal of working abroad, which I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid. Probably that'll help me forget about how ugly i am or the fact that i'll be always FA.

It’s brutal to realize I’m less than a decade from that number, all I want in life above all else is a wife and kids but the reality is I’m unwanted by all and that makes children impossible, most people I know have that with hell coworkers of mine as young as 19 talking about kids while I’m some elderly freak if nature from a bygone era ignored hu all and cursed by god. I doubt it will change by the time I hit 40 which is the most definitely too old zone and if that happens I can’t say due to thread rules, until then the struggle every day in this hellscape goes on, I do wonder what horrible thing I did to receive this level of punishment

I just love it when girls start to give me disgusted look on their faces, glaring at me, secretly laughing or saying negative things about me all because I am walking past them or happened to be near them.

Happened to me back in school and in uni. Got mocked by other girls as being the most ugliest guy in the class/cohort. They even forced me to match with the fattest girl in the cohort because they think I deserved it. And ofc that fattest girl made a remark on how she think she deserved better because I look like an alien being. I also got told off by girls in uni to kill myself because I happened to sit at their "seats" in a public area and I am bringing down the energy that they have to celebrate their friend's birthday.

Same shit is happening right now at work when these female technicians apparently dont like me as they have been doing those things I mentioned above. They even glared at me at times as they thought I was looking at their bodies. Like dude, you are standing in front of me and I am pushing a trolley filled with work stuffs so obviously I had to look forward.

What did I do to deserve this? Yeah I get it, I am ugly, hideous, and look like I am a creep but I dont deserve to be treated this way. I never do anything to them at all but yet, this is the treatment I get from girls. And people wonder why I am not finding a girlfriend. This is the bullshit that I have had to deal with since I was young.

Sobs in forever alone 💔

I hate this so much. I haven’t even touched a girl in the past 24 years, and I’ve never even been in a casual relationship. At the same time, I see so many teenagers and people in their early twenties losing their virginity, and by the time they reach my age, they’ve already been through multiple relationships before eventually finding the girl they’ll spend the rest of their lives with.

I can’t stand seeing this, and I don’t know what I can do about it. A lot of my friends are married, and almost all of them lost their virginity many years ago.

Just a rant:

Some months back I tell this colleague told me that we still had to go visit this work recommendation restaurant. I wasn't feeling good with her that day so I kinda just said "okay" (and mumbled that I had already proposed that)

Like some weeks after maybe, I text her that the restaurant/ show place contacted me too to offer the free diner, just as a passing thought, and she replied like "whenever you want we could do the restaurant or the Show thingy"

Like whoa , okay progress! I book the free show, tell her q week in advance of the time and place , all cool. One day before, I text her to reconfirm , and she's got an excuse, so sorry. Ok shit, no one to go with , I'll go by myself, nothing new.

But the "problem" is that now I heard from an ex colleague, let's say her name's Jane, Jane said one shift with the other girls she told her way back "oh, anon invited me to this show"...... Like, what, as in eww haha gross? Or maybe as in "oh yeah how cool!", or maybe it was a simple"yeah I'm desirable like that". ?

I didn't ask more, luckily this Jane didn't say either. Either way, 1st girl finally found herself a boyfriend, of her very specific taste. Good for her, I'm still the old same loner virgin 🥲

calculated isolation. pair my friends up so they dont think of me. im busy, im sad, im angry. unavailable. why dont you all go without me. soon im not invited to anything, and no one thinks of me. theres no anger or sadness. i fade out naturally and they keep together. anyone who tries to stay behind will have to deal with my explosivity, so they dont last long. stuck living in memories of the past so i cant process the present. numb, confused, scared. im not here but its still me. i mistake myself and the words come out wrong. speaking untrue thoughts, desperately batting everyone away. please dont come any closer, im scared. i bite. im not a good dog. i dream that one day someone will stay behind and pick me anyway. hold my face softly and lick my wounds.

33M virgin. Spent the first 31 years of my life indocrinated in a fundamentalist religion that borders on a cult. Trained to be scared of everything; drinking, fantasy (anything with "witchcraft" or "false gods") scared of breaking rules, just trained to be a perfect good little boy who obeys and never does anything wrong. In short, I'm boring as hell. and fat. and too poor to travel or do much of anything else to fix it now.

So of course no woman actually wants me. The only ones that ever did were either just as religious and desperate as I was, or were lying, manipulative predators. I try. I really do. I try to be more flirty, without being creepy. I try to be funny and creative. I'm always respectful, and I certainly don't think I'm owed anything or any of that nonsense. But my god, don't I deserve something? Some chance? IRL, no woman ever seems interested in me at all. I rarely get matches online, and when I do 90% of the time I'm ignored completely, another 5% I get two sentences in and ignored or ghosted, and the rest of the time I get a couple of conversations that seem to go well, just be be hit with "your a good guy but I don't want to date you." This week was the worst. I matched a girl, we seemed to hit it off. We had a lot in common, a lot of the same interests and beliefs, and even pets. But still, after a couple of days, she decided she wanted someone more "wild." more fun is what she meant. I actually thought I had a chance here. But no. Not good enough. I even asked her if there was something I did that turned her off, and she said no. I didn't do anything wrong, not creepy or desperate, or anything. I seem like a great guy, she said. I'm just not good enough. I'm so tired of this. So tired of trying my best; working overtime, going to the gym, trying to find things to do in this worthless mudhole hick town I'm trapped in, and never making any progress. I'm so tired of being told how good I am, as I'm being rejected. I'm just so tired of not being good enough.

Especially if your looked at like some clueless kid

I went to a family member’s memorial this weekend and i ended up talking to a lot of my family members and it struck me how alone i feel in my family. All off cousins seem so far ahead of me in their lives, they all have friends, partners, and a good career ahead of them. Meanwhile I don’t have many friends, I’ve never been on a date, and I will probably drop out of college. Not to mention my social anxiety makes it hard to be at these kinds of events in the first place😭

I’ve realized I probably am not going to be as successful as others, so it sucked to just lie to my parents and all these people about what I wanted to do and what my plans were because I was too nervous to admit the truth! At college, everyone around me is so set in their career path, and it makes me feel so alone in the world. I feel so childish and naive for wanting to be with a woman who won’t care that I’m broke and will love me for who I am. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be ok…

The brain you’re reading this post with right now is a bioengineering marvel with 2.5 petabytes of RAM, capable of hundreds of petaflops per second, rivaling most datacenters and supercomputers. Billions of years of geological and biological evolution happened to lead up to this moment. Human wars of life and death were waged for thousands of years to guarantee your ancestors’ survival, all so you could end up foreveralone

Kinda sick seeing somebody who I know would be the one who gets me and can keep up with me is taken,

Especially in my environment where I live seeing one like them is js so rare it hurts to know that fact.

I never been in to real relationship if the timing js fk me over all the time.

I don't have any issue when it comes to talking with girls

It's just that my type of girls always gone before I can reach it or js too out of reach by distance, (they're not even high standard btw).

I'm actually losing hope

Because there are people who are disabled or autistic and yet many of them have partners because good looks is what attracts people to be in their life. It's totally over for me as an ugly person.

I'm so tired of trying; I have zero motivation to continue on. I really wish I could have been successful at least once.

Just graduated. Job is next year. Stuck in a purgatory of dread and loneliness back in my hometown with no life.

Nothing to learn, nothing to do, no friends, no girlfriend. No money to go out and do anything too, but this is not a bad thing because I am making chicken and rice at home to cut. I am down 4 kg so far in a month, though recently water weight has gone up due to a few cheat meals.

Everyday I wake up and I feel like dying. Life is lonely. I only have one long distance best friend that I talk to daily. 2 years now. I suppose life will be better once I get lean and move out of my boring hometown with no young adult demography.

I am genuinely exhausted; I know I’m terrible socially, but I don’t deserve the life I’m living. I try my absolute best to be friendly and pleasant to people, yet no one cares. I’m genuinely starting to hate society. I think there are people who are simply born with superior genes and have the right to a better life than ours—why would God do something like that? I’m so confused. I’m increasingly thinking about going to live alone in the mountains and growing my own food; that way, at least I wouldn’t suffer as much, since I wouldn’t have to see people out with their friends, extended families, or girlfriends. Then, at least, I could live with less suffering—no internet, no people, no society—just me and nature.

Everything I enjoyed feels like a chore. Soccer, reading, video games, movies, sitcoms all of it, I do not have it in me to continue. All I do these days is find high protein recipes and go to the gym. And I am too much of a pussy to even have any vices so I cannot even have those few moments of comfort. The only thing I feel these days is jealousy and sadness when I see happy couples anywhere (this is perhaps the reason I stopped watching sitcoms).

I do not have it in me to live like this for the next 60 years man. I cannot do it alone. I do not even have delusions of a happily ever after. Even if I find someone and she leaves me after a month, for whatever reason, I’ll still know that I can go on alone for the rest of my life.. I would know then that I was enough. I'll die a happy man. If only fate was that kind.

First time I’ve asked a girl for her number in a long time. We talked for a few minutes about where she went to college and her family and plans for the weekend then I asked for her number and she said she had a boyfriend. Of course I never expected her to give it to me or say yes. It still stings though. I’m probably not going to do that again. I can’t believe I even talked to her still. I never thought I’d have the courage but I did. I just don’t see myself ever getting a date or anything. But at least I can say I tried.

Matched with someone on Tinder. Seemed funny, cute, a little hint of self-deprecating humor, and really compatible music taste (yes, this is important lol).

Moved from Tinder to Facebook Messenger to talk more easily. She lives about 15 miles away so she lives close, even suggested maybe going to a concert together.

Of course I'm excited at the prospect. I'm easy, I'd be fine with just hanging out at a bookstore or getting some coffee to chat in person but this sounded like an awesome hang.

Haven't heard back from her in over a week.

She's always busy, so there's an outside chance that I'll get a message but considering two Saturdays have come and gone and she hasn't so much as sent a 'hey sorry I'll get back to you ASAP' message, I'm not optimistic.

After my last 'situation' ended up just being a few years of leading me on, I really got used to the idea of having someone to look forward to again. I miss being excited to see a message from someone, telling someone good morning, good night, have a good day at work, etc.

I hate that I'm so attention and intimacy starved that I got attached to someone this quickly, who I basically only knew like three weeks. It's probably my fault that she quit responding, that's how common denominators work after all. But I can't for the life of me understand what I did wrong.

Probably better to have the band-aid ripped off sooner rather than later. I'm just incompatible with things. The concept of a love life, the concept of being an adult, the concept of getting out of bed in the morning, etc. But something keeps the lights on inside me and I can't work out what that is either. I kinda wish it'd burn out already so I can just fade into the sewers of time where I'm destined to end up anyway. Born to suffer and be forgotten.