[21F] dating [29M] for 1 year and 4 months, Scotland, UK
I’m struggling with whether I should end my relationship because I feel like I need to be completely alone for a while, even though I love my boyfriend and he is genuinely a lovely person.
He’s [29M] and very much at the stage of wanting a relationship for life and wanting to build a future together. I’m [21F] and I don’t feel ready for that. I feel like we’re at different stages in life. I don’t know what I want my life to look like yet, and the thought of making a lifelong commitment when I’m not ready feels wrong.
I’ve also been in multiple toxic relationships before this one, and I don’t feel like I ever properly healed from them. I somehow always ended up in another relationship before I had the chance to actually be alone and work on myself. I joke that I’m a relationship magnet because it genuinely feels that way.
I get attached to people quite easily, but I can also detach very quickly once something changes for me. I’m actually similar with friendships too. It makes me wonder if there’s something about the way I form attachments that I need to understand about myself.
Before my current boyfriend and I got together, I actually told him that I needed to find myself and wasn’t sure I was ready for a relationship. He kept pursuing me and eventually we got together. I genuinely thought I could work on myself while being in a relationship, but I’m realising that I don’t think I can.
Once something gets into my head, I struggle to take it back out. I constantly think about it and go over it in my head. This feeling of wanting to be alone has been on my mind so much that I don’t think simply trying harder or “working through” the relationship would make it disappear.
I also don’t want to leave him and immediately date someone else. I don’t want another relationship. I genuinely want to be single for a while and figure out who I am outside of being someone’s girlfriend.
The difficult part is that he is genuinely good to me and loves me so much. There isn’t some huge problem that I can point to. I love him too, which makes me feel incredibly guilty about wanting to leave.
I’m also very scared of confrontation. I’m worried that when I tell him, he’ll be devastated or try to convince me that we can work through it and that I can find myself while staying with him. I know he may genuinely believe that, but I feel like I need to do this independently.
I also broke up with my ex at the beginning of last year for a very similar reason. I wanted to find myself and just wanted to be alone/friends. Because this has happened more than once, I’m questioning whether this is something I genuinely need or whether there is a pattern in me that I need to address before making another decision like this.
I’m looking for advice on how to approach this. Should I take this feeling of needing to be alone seriously and give myself that space, or should I try to work through these feelings while remaining in the relationship? And if I do decide to leave, how can I communicate that to someone I love without getting talked out of it through guilt?
I’d really appreciate honest advice, including if you think I’m overlooking something about my own behaviour or patterns.

TL;DR: I’m [21F] and have been with my [29M]boyfriend for 1 year and 4 months. He’s lovely and I love him, but he’s ready for a lifelong relationship and I feel like I need to be alone and find myself before I can commit to that. I’ve had several toxic relationships and never really had time to heal or be single, and this has happened with an ex before too. I’m scared I’m repeating a pattern, but I also feel strongly that staying and trying to “work through it” won’t make the feeling of needing to be alone disappear. I’m looking for advice on whether I should give myself that space and how to approach the conversation without being talked out of it through guilt.

TL;DR: I [30M] is lowkey frustrated with my girlfriend [28F] and want to move forward the right way. Is this fixable or not?

I am earning 240k a month while working half day and also working from home. My girlfriend who is my live in partner quit her job and I'm taking care of them together with my son. I am giving her 45k a month for our usual house expense and I pay see whenever we go outside.

We have been together for almost 6 years. We live in one of the cities here in visayas.

Yung problema kasi is I am struggling with my mental health due to a lot of reason. Her past (we about to break up then she got pregnant kaya pinanagutan ko), our values in life don't really fit that's why there are topic I consider forbidden anymore because we won't get each other, I can only talk about her if it's regarding food, travel and about our son but in terms of how we move on and do actual life responsibility — we don't really agree with each other.

We're not even compatible with food as she doesn't eat seafoods and those traditional home made foods you usually eat in the province. I don't enjoy what we eat on most days because bibili lang sya sa carenderia every morning then cook the usual chicken or beef.

She's good in playing with our son (all the happy stuff) but in terms of feeding, taking care of his health and overall development doesn't satisfy me at all. She can't even create a bedtime routine which makes our 2 year old son sleep 1 am.

She wakes up at 10 am every morning and I almost everytime need to wake her up to take care of our son

I also offered to mentor her and work as a freelancer. She listens but everytime I stop reminding — she stops trying which drains me like I feel na napipilitan lang sya

I want her to work so we can get a helper so I can finally eat home cook meals plus someone can really take care of our son.

Also I can feel she doesn't like it when I sit around after work while she do the dishes and other house chores

I feel like she will respect me more if she saw me struggling for our family like getting up early to go to work and go home tired

I also don't like that she raise her voice during arguments and when disciplining our son which clearly doesn't work.

Everytime I complain she corrects and but go back to the same pattern after a few weeks.

I admit I don't show a lot of love to her because I was not raise in loving family but tbh I feel like I'm only in this relationship because of our son.

I want to break up with her before because I failed to accept her past where she did ons with a couple of guys she me on tinder. It was unprotected.

I have ocd and can't seem to let go of all those details. I don't feel insecure it's more on I get obsessed sa thought process niya why she did it with guys whom she met in a day palang plus it was unprotected. Because if I were her I will focus on improving and making myself better for my next partner instead of having a hoe phase

Based on my psychology assessment I don't have trauma but I get obsessed with my all my trauma making them feel more intense as they are.

I had sessions multiple psychologist but it did not work as I am too aware.

Now I loss my job because I can't function anymore from all these things. My antidepressants from my psychiatrist is on my table waiting for me to take them.

Emergency fund ko nalang bumubuhay samin

I'm confident I can get back on track easily once I can function mentally again

But I wrote this because I'm confused if I am doing something wrong or I should do co parenting with my girlfriend.

I love my son so much I suffer just to give him a family but I also feel that I can be the best father if it's a co parenting set up because I know he observes how we treat each other.

Right now I'm taking my time to get my momentum again but I feel my girlfriend is getting frustrated on me since our budget is limited and she's probably anxious if our emergency fund will run out soon. I can feel it in the way she treats me though I don't want to judge because being with someone with mental health condition is draining.

Just sharing it here. I need advice how to move forward in life because I'm not really sure

sorry for any grammar or typo I'm too overwhelmed to do a review

Location: Philippines

Relationship: 4 years in a relationship

Hi po. I’m (22F), and my boyfriend is (23M). Mahal ko po siya, and I genuinely see a future with him. Hindi po ito dahil ayaw ko sa kanya or ayaw ko ng marriage. Hindi lang po talaga ako ready ngayon.

Kakagraduate ko lang po ng college, and my priority right now is to prepare for the LET, become a licensed teacher, start my career, gain work experience, and eventually become financially stable. Gusto ko rin pong makatulong sa family ko, makabawi sa grandparents ko, and hopefully magkaroon ng opportunity na makapagtrabaho abroad someday.

The biggest pressure po is that both of our families are already expecting us to get married by January 2027. At this point, parang hindi na lang po siya simpleng expectation because they are already making plans for the wedding.

One of the biggest reasons why they want us to get married soon is because his grandfather really wants to see us get married. Matanda na po kasi siya and nagkakaroon na rin ng mga sakit. I completely understand why this is very important to my boyfriend and his family.

I deeply respect his family, especially his grandfather, because he is the person everyone in their family looks up to. I understand that his wish may come from love, concern, and simply wanting to see his grandson settled and happy while he is still here.

Pero kahit gaano ko po siya nirerespeto, nahihirapan akong tanggapin na kailangan kong magpakasal ngayon simply because of his grandfather’s age or health. I don't want to sound disrespectful or insensitive because that is never my intention. I just feel that marriage is a lifetime commitment, and I don't think I can sacrifice my entire life readiness and make such a huge decision purely because someone I respect deeply wants to see it happen soon.

Another thing po is that our families come from very different financial situations. His family is well-off, while my family is poor and has always lived a simple life. I don't look down on his family because of that—in fact, I respect them and I'm grateful for how they've treated me. But sometimes, this difference also makes me feel more pressured and insecure about what is expected of me after marriage.

I already tried telling my own family that I don't want to get married yet. I was hoping they would understand me or at least comfort me because I'm genuinely struggling. Pero instead of consoling me, mas nagalit pa po sila. Parang kapag sinabi kong hindi pa ako ready, I'm being selfish, difficult, or ungrateful.

And now, honestly, hindi ko na po talaga alam kung ano ang gagawin ko.

They are already planning things for the wedding, while I’m here trying to study for my LET reviewer, pero hindi na rin po ako makapag-focus. Every time I try to study, naiisip ko yung kasal, yung expectations ng families, yung future ko, and the possibility na baka wala na talaga akong choice.

I love my boyfriend. I don't want to lose him. I can see myself marrying him someday. Pero gusto ko sanang magkaroon muna ng chance na maging teacher, magkaroon ng career, makatulong sa family ko, and become the person I want to be before entering marriage.

I don't want to say yes just because I'm afraid of disappointing everyone. I also don't want to say no and potentially lose the person I love.

So I'm genuinely asking:

If I genuinely do not want to get married by January 2027 but both families are already planning the wedding and are unwilling to listen to me, what should I specifically do or say to stop the wedding plans? Should I put my foot down and say “I am not agreeing to this yet,” even if it means disappointing both families and possibly risking my relationship?

TL;DR: I’m (22F), recently graduated, and I love my (23M) boyfriend. I see a future with him, but I’m not ready to get married yet. I want to focus first on my LET, career, financial stability, helping my family, and hopefully working abroad. However, both families are already planning our January 2027 wedding, mainly because his elderly grandfather, whom I deeply respect, wants to see us married while he is still around. His family is well-off, while mine is financially struggling, which adds to my pressure. I already told my family that I’m not ready, but they became angry instead of understanding me. Now I feel trapped and overwhelmed, to the point that I can’t focus on my LET review. I love him, but I’m afraid that saying “not yet” will make me lose him, while saying “yes” because of pressure may lead to regret. If I genuinely don’t want to marry by January 2027, should I firmly say, “I’m not agreeing to this yet,” even if it disappoints both families and risks my relationship?

It's been a day.

We had the talk yesterday.

We met through Reddit and it was and LDR kind of thing but we are both from Bicol. We dated for like 3 months before we became official and another 3 months before we introduced each other to both sides of the family.

I was teaching far, almost a 5 hour ride from his place so we usually meet like 1-2 times a month, 3 times if we are lucky.

He is a working student and that is fine with me since I can contribute naman. We were happy. I usually spend more in dates, he drives and when he has extra, he really does treat me din. Minsan nga, spontaneous kapag may pera siya, he would treat me. Kagag Valentine's, may flowers.

But recently he has been tight on budget that even on our anniversary (Aug 23), I was the one who paid for our date. I used to think , "Siya naman nagdrive." So it was okay until I find myself getting annoyed everytime he will say na "kulang budget." I realized that I plan and think about these dates beforehand and I feel like for him, it was something that he can just give whatever he can. I mean like, he does not set a budget separate for our dates. Like, if may budget, go, if walang budget, ako? Haha.

It's honestly useless to point out who was wrong because I felt like it was like a ticking bomb that finally exploded (on my part at least).

Last Aug 29 I travelled for 3 hours since it was our scheduled date the next day (Aug 30). Before we arrived, I chatted him na "Ang tagal ng byahe. Gutom na ako." I did really expect that he will buy something, kahit ano. But we arrived and he was just there dressed for the party that he will be attending and I told him na "Di na kaya magdinner?" and he said, kulang na sa oras.

So I frowned. And napansin niya. He offered to stop for dinner pero ako lang daw kumain and hintayin niya lang ako. But I declined. I was already pissed eh. He repeatedly offered but like I said, I was also disappointed.

He was attending a party (and that was fine with me). He drove me home and just casually said that he may be staying until 12 or 1 am.

I was too tired to argue but I remembered that we agreed that no past 12 am activities unless it's with his close friends. Weird I know but we agreed on that so I thought maybe he would remember and I don't need to remind him.

But comes 2:30 am and no updates. I was ticking now.

He knows we have a date tomorrow and I just can't imagine in what state of mind would he be in our date without proper sleep.

All the resentment bottled up came pouring and maybe I went overboard with how I expressed it (and I said sorry for this). All the dates he said he had no budget and I just said it was okay and those moments when I wished he would volunteer and help me but he didn't. Like I said, I went overboard, I know.

I know it was my fault for not telling him this. But now, it's too late.

We both got hurt. I hurt him.

We ended things. I apologized hoping it could be saved. But I guess it was too late.

It hurts. I wanted it to be saved but he said he was not enough for me. He said he was holding me back.

He said it would be toxic if we continued the relationship.

How do I move on from this?

We already talked about blocking on social media.

What about the pictures? Is it better if I delete them all?

I honestly don't know.

It is my first serious relationship and break up so I am navigating this and I am unsure what to do.

We talked about blocking and I did but now I unblocked him but put him on Restricted.

Can you guys suggest how do I move on from this specially with social media? I have him in restricted and so far, I have not sent him a message, thanks god.

We have lots of pictures and photos and I am conflicted if I should keep it or just delete them all. What do you think is better?

Was I too much? How can I do better and what lesson should I get from this?

We’re both from bicol but 2 provinces apart but we met at school so I know him really well.

He always tells me to go shoulder my worries about him kasi meron din daw syang personal problems. And everytime na mag try ako makicommmunicate sakanya nag ooff sya ng data or nag dedelete ng messenger or deactivate. It’s already messing up my mental health to the point na I’m taking 2 different anti depressants. I’ve always wanted to save our relationship everytime. I ask him out on dates, I ease his financial burdens, i give him random gifts and tried so much more but still hindi pa sya enough. I realized that I am acting like a mother to him just recently. Still I can’t bring myself to leave because despite every bad thing he has done to me, I only imagine the good things.

Need advice: How do you detach from someone that you want to spend your whole life with and how can I avoid reaching out to him completely?

Hi everyone, I really need some advice or objective perspectives on my current relationship.

I (30F) have been with my bf (32M) for 6 months. Just recently, he revealed to me that he has a child (3M). Honestly, having a child isn't a dealbreaker for me at all—I’m open to accepting his kid. What’s deeply bothering me is the timeline and the boundary issues surrounding the mother(32F).

Here are the key details:

The Breakup Timeline: He claims he and the baby momma broke up back in 2024 after 4 years of being together. He mentioned that she already has a new partner, yet she is still regularly invited to his family’s gatherings.

The Contact Restriction: He explicitly told me NOT to message or reach out to the mother. His reasoning was that in the past, another girl he was talking to messaged her, and the mother almost banned him from seeing the child.

My Dilemma: I completely respect that the child’s well-being comes first, and I have zero intention of disrupting their co-parenting dynamic or causing stress for the kid. But I am having a really hard time getting peace of mind.

Hiding a child for 6 months already broke my trust a bit, and prohibiting me from reaching out under the threat of a past legal issue feels like a tactic to keep us separated so story lines don't clash.

How do I get peace of mind without causing drama? How should I approach this conversation with him? Is there a reasonable way to ask for proof or reassurance that they are strictly co-parents without overstepping or putting the child in a bad position? Or am I being naive for staying after he hid this for half a year?

Appreciate any advice, especially from those who have been in similar blended/co-parenting setups here in the PH. Thank you!

Been having a casual rel with this guy for almost 5 months now. More than a month ago, I told him I wanted to end things with him na since I tend to get dependent on someone emotionally (and technically get attached) once we start something physical. I noticed this consistent pattern when I started participating in hookup culture, though I only ever slept with a few just for the sake of exploration, and he was the last.

The thing is, he’s a resident doctor and our communication styles don’t match. I understand that he’s always very busy with his schedule, but I don’t think it’s that hard to respond. He would often only respond after a couple of days, a week, or even more than that. He also sometimes would ignore my messages and start a different topic after ghosting me for so long. He said it’s just how he is, and though I understand he’s constantly exhausted from his work, something about how he communicates just doesn’t sit right with me. I know we agreed to keep everything casual, but staying casual shouldn’t strip someone of their decency to communicate at least. He wasn’t like that when he still hadn’t gotten me yet, so to speak. He was the one who would often reach out to me and reply to my stories/reposts when I was still uninterested in him, and I often only responded after a day or two. But after meeting me, his replies got slower.

When I told him a month ago that I wanted to see him for the last time and also return something that I borrowed from him, he agreed and said he would also like to meet me to thank me for the time we’ve shared. We agreed that we’d just meet this Aug. However, I’ve noticed his communication pattern is still the same. I sent him a message 5 days ago. He viewed my story but left me inbox-zoned (or prolly on read).

I was highkey ready to block him last night, but the universe somehow told me not to do so yet, and a few hours later, he sent me a message. Earlier this morning, he asked if I’d be available tomorrow or on the 30th.

Do I still meet him for closure? Or do I just tell him I will no longer be available tomorrow or on the 30th and will be leaving the country next month and don’t know when I’ll be back, and so I’ll just get his info for the delivery of the thing that I borrowed from him and a present I got for him?

I lowkey still want to see him for the last time, but I also no longer want to be vulnerable, and something just tells me not to meet him anymore.

TL;DR:

Been casually seeing a resident doctor for almost 5 months, but I’ve been wanting to end things because I tend to get emotionally attached once things become physical. Our communication styles also don’t match—he often takes days or even weeks to reply, and his communication became noticeably slower after we first slept together.

A month ago, I told him I wanted to see him one last time and return something I borrowed from him. He agreed, and we planned to meet this August. But after another 5 days of being left inbox-zoned despite him viewing my stories, I was ready to block him and move on.

Then, a few hours later, he suddenly messaged asking if I’m available tomorrow or on the 30th.

Now I’m torn between meeting him one last time for closure or telling him I’m no longer available, sending his things (plus a present I got for him) via delivery, and finally moving on. I still lowkey want to see him, but I’m scared of making myself vulnerable again and something tells me not to meet him anymore.

Update:
I already blocked him. No explanations or anything—just straight up did it for my peace of mind.

I'm a [29F] and I've been dating my [28M] boyfriend for a year and a half. We met on a dating app. I was NBSB (no boyfriend since birth), while he had dated more than 5 girls in the past. Currently, he treats me wonderfully, makes me feel deeply loved, and we are fully official with our families and friends.

However, my lack of relationship experience makes me anxious. Sometimes, I worry he'll get bored and leave me like he did in past relationships. That fear is amplified when I occasionally catch him checking out other girls in public, which makes me feel he’ll get tired of me and leave me. He has reassured me that his dating days are behind him and that he wants to settle down with me, but I struggle to fully trust it.

Need advice: How can I overcome this insecurity? To any guys out there who used to date around: did you genuinely change and settle down?

hello! my boyfriend is joining a team building in their company. yung 1st bpo company niya is shini-ship siya sa ibang girl while knowing na may girlfriend na siya. for his recent bpo company, wala namang ganap na ganun (for what i know, malay ko if hindi lang siya nag sasabi or what). recently lang din, nag break kami kasi ayoko siyang sumasama sa eat out niya with his co-workers since napaka malapit niya sa babae.

for additional context lang din bakit ayaw ko, nung 1st year college siya is inaasar siya sa isa sa circle nila then wala siyang ginagawa. that triggered me kaşi why? alam niyang ayyn pinaka ayaw ko. pinakita niva pa sa'kin convo sa ge nila na sinabi ng isa niyang female friend sa picture namin is is "future doctor siya but hindi mo future". next is nung sa boo, inaasar siya ulit sa isa ka co-worker niya. next naman nakikipag inuman siya with friends may mga girls then bigla siyang niyakap ng isa sa mga lasing niyang kaibigan, take note that girl had sex with one of their friend. next is yung girlbestfriend niya na walang boundary, na inistory siya ng solo, lumalapit lagi sakaniya. these are the reason why ayaw. ko since walang boundaries ang tao sa paligid niya.

tl;dr recently, we broke up dahil nasasakal na raw siya na lagi ko siyang pinagbabawalan etc. and now na nagkabalikan kami ang sabi niya lang sa'kin "no one will control me, ako lang". so now na sasama siya sa team building, i can't help but to overthink. nag basa basa ako here, nanood ng videos sa tiktok, and nadagdagan lang yung isipin ko.

asking for advice: is there anything na i should do to help myself na hindi mag overthink while andun siya despite the things na nababasa ko ko sa internet?

i’m from qc he’s from rizal

Location: Philippines

For context, my partner (28M) and I have been together for almost 6 years. We've been through a lot together, and I do see a future with him. Recently, he told me that next year, he wants to start planning and talk to my parents about his intention to marry me. He wants us to get married the following year.

Honestly, I got scared when he told me that.

I'm only 25, and I just recently started working. I know we've already been together for almost 6 years, but I still feel like there's so much I want to do for myself and for my family before getting married. I want to experience more things, build my career, become more financially stable, and be able to help my family first.
I told him that I'm not ready for marriage yet. It's not because I don't love him or don't see a future with him. I just don't feel ready to get married at this point in my life.

His response was basically, "Then just break up with me if that's what you want."

That really hurt me because I wasn't saying that I wanted to leave him. I was only trying to tell him honestly that I'm not ready.

I told him that maybe we could stay together until December this year, and then next year, we would finally let the relationship go. I know that sounds strange because I'm basically setting an ending for a relationship that I don't actually want to end. But I also don't want to keep dragging things out if we ultimately want different things in life.

He then asked me, "Why not now?"

I told him that I'm not ready to lose him either. I still love him, and I don't want our relationship to end right now. Even if I know that we might eventually have to let each other go, I'm not ready to lose someone I've spent almost 6 years with.

I also told him that maybe, at least until then, he shouldn't pressure me or force me into making a decision. I don't want to be pushed into marriage just because he's ready, but I also don't want to be pushed into ending our relationship when I'm not ready to let go.

I understand that he's 28 and maybe he's already at the point where he wants to settle down. I also understand that after almost 6 years together, he probably feels like it's time.

But I'm struggling because I don't actually want to choose between marrying him before I'm ready and losing him completely.

I don't want to marry him just because we've been together for almost 6 years. I want to marry him because I'm genuinely ready to be his wife.

But if I'm not ready and he can't wait, then I know there may come a point where I have to let him go—even though that's not what I want.

How do I let go of someone I still love and don't actually want to lose, just because we're not ready for the same things at the same time?

And how do I accept that ending the relationship might be the right thing to do without spending the rest of my life wondering if I should have just said yes and stayed with him?

How can we move forward when my partner wants to get married soon, but I need more time?

I don't want to end our relationship. I just don't want to get married before I'm ready either.

TL;DR: My (28M) partner wants us to start planning our marriage next year and get married the following year. I'm 25 and just started working, and I still have many things I want to accomplish for myself and my family before getting married. I told him I'm not ready yet, but he said I should just break up with him if that's the case. I don't want to lose him, but I also don't want to be pressured into marriage. How can we move forward when he feels ready for marriage and I need more time?

Not sure if this is the right flair, so I apologize in advance if it's incorrect.

For context: My boyfriend (27M) and I (26F) started off as friends. We were in the same circle of friends for a few years during the pandemic.As for our location, we're from Metro Manila.

We've had multiple fights over my *gaming habits* (I have BPD). Palagi siyang nagsasabi na "mas masaya" ako kalaro friends namin and whatnot. I simply enjoy everyone's company all the same, dahil may kasamang chismisan at tawanan with my friends. With my boyfriend, walang kwentuhan o chismisan (limited din tawanan) dahil palagi naman na kaming magkasama in person. Napagbubusitan pa nga ako kapag hindi ko siya nasasabayan sa pagpush niya sa kalaban.

Ayaw niya na akong samahan maglaro ng Valorant because wala kaming chemistry sa paglalaro at baka magkagalitan na naman kami like before.

Tonight, I'm at my limit. I'm being blamed for something as trivial as laughing at my friends' gameplay. He wanted me to quit a game I've been playing way before I met him dahil sa tampo niya. Para bang ineexpect niyang virtually malalaman kong galit siya without even properly communicating his feelings? I feel like he's being too controlling at this point in time.

**Asking for advice**: Is there any way or "the right wording" I can use to communicate my feelings without causing a misunderstanding? Should I just quit the game as it is and ghost our friends? How do I do that without feeling resentment towards my partner?

tl;dr bf and i fought. Bf wants me to quit val yet I don't want to since it's a game I play casually. I want to be able to communicate this with him without making the situation worse.

location: Philippines me (21M) and gf (21F) started dating 2022 and broke up because of fabricated lies 1st quarter of 2026, almost 4 years. 1 month after breakup, she rebounded with someone (21M) i was suspicious of before pa. may 1 month din sila, then after another month, we got back together.

its only been a month since we got back, and parang mababaliw nako. from the beginning na nagbalikan kami, she told me na nay nangyari sa kanila nung rebound. despite that, i tried lunukin lahat yon pero i cant. kita ko naman na nagregret sya sa ginawa nya. that shes trying to be better pero i cant stop thinking about it.

since shes living with her fam, lahat ng paalam nya to be out with the guy were all lies. hindi ko alam if i should tell them yung totoo ba? kasi ilang beses na namin pinagusapan if whether sasabihin nya ba yung totoo or hindi, keeps telling me na dapat sa amin nalang yon.

i still want her to be the one, pero it is really costing my sanity. should i stay and try save it or wala na talaga?

[M30] [F25] Partner asked for space but continues initiating contact during relationship uncertainty
Location: Philippines
Relationship length: 8 months
Work: Same company, different locations
I need advice on how much contact and emotional involvement is appropriate after my partner asked for space because she is no longer certain about our relationship.
She told me directly that she isn’t sure about us anymore and doesn’t want to pretend that she is. Her concern is mainly whether our current relationship can realistically lead to the future and family life she wants. She wants time to figure herself out.
I am still serious about the relationship, but I told her I don’t want her to stay because of guilt or pressure. I also told her I will respect what she feels right now.
The difficulty is setting the right boundary. She still initiates contact sometimes. She messages me, gives me updates, calls me, jokes with me, and recently invited me to spend time together. We also still have occasional flirting and romantic conversations.
She is also transparent about people around her. When men at work try to court or flirt with her, she tells me, and I usually just remind her to be cautious. She has also been open with me about her previous relationships. I don’t want to control her interactions.
My problem is my own behavior. Because I am still emotionally invested, I sometimes initiate too much, especially when I miss her or feel anxious about a change in communication. I want to respect the space she requested without suddenly disappearing or making her feel rejected.
The specific advice I need is:
Should I stop initiating most conversations and allow her to initiate when she wants contact?
When she initiates, should I continue interacting normally, or should I avoid flirting/romantic conversations while she is uncertain?
Should I set a specific boundary around how often we see or talk to each other while she decides?
What is a reasonable way to protect myself emotionally if she remains uncertain for an extended period?
I am not asking whether either of us is right or wrong. I need practical advice on what communication and boundaries are appropriate when one partner has asked for space but continues to maintain a close connection.
TL;DR: I [M30] have been with my partner [F25] for 8 months. She says she is no longer sure about our relationship and asked for space, but she still initiates contact, calls, spends time with me, and sometimes flirts. I am still serious about her but tend to over-initiate when I feel anxious. How should I balance respecting her space with staying connected, and what boundaries should I set for myself?

TL;DR: My gf became distant during vacation and said she was socially drained and falling out of love, so I gave her space. Now that school started, she's happier, but she's also very close with our guy friend Joshua, which makes me jealous and scared she'll replace me. Her suddenly becoming protective of her phone also added to my anxiety. I don't think she's cheating, but everything combined has left me really insecure, confused, and unsure what to do.

May chance ba she's cheating on me? Am I too insecure and overracting?

Context: Hello po! So just a bit of background. Me and my gf have been dating for around 3 months, pero 9 months na magkakilala. Nung nakaraang late May, I (M18) started noticing that my gf (F18) was changing in a bad way. Nung mga May 29 onwards, nagiging mas distant sya sakin na tipong dry messages nya, and parang... d sya present (?). BTW, Im her first boyfriend.

I opened up to her about her attitude toward me and she told me to give her space, na medyo na fofall out of love daw sya sakin dahil bakasyon. Now ako, I did that, gave her space, time and everything she needs to recover. Pero ang reason nya kasi is simula dati daw, pag bakasyon tas walang nagagawa, she would feel depressed, and socially drained.

Fast forward to now, nagstart na yung schoolyear namin as freshmen, and I started noticing na mas sumisigla nga sya. Pero that's where the problem started, sa friend group kasi namin, may isa syang lalake na kaclose, lets call him "Joshua (18M)," as an anxiously attached person, medyo naging jealous ako kay Joshua kasi in every way he's better than me, I was afraid na pagpapalit ako ng gf ko para sakanya kasi nung bakasyon, I did my HARDEST para mapasaya sya, and hirap akong kausapin sya, pero pag kay Joshua? sobrang dali nya tumawa at makipagusap ☹️.

I got jealous of Joshua and opened up to my gf, and inaway nya ako, idk what caused her to be so angry at what I said, pero that made me so sad. Tas nagstart sya na magpuyat even after saying our goodnights, sinasabi nya na yun nalang daw nagiging me time nya. Dati pala, she'd let me borrow her phone without any mind, and nung June, I went and borrowed it (with consent ofc), and she snatched it back. Of course, I got hurt by her actions, I opened up to her about how that felt and she got angry... She told me na phone nya yun, privacy nya yun, but a few days later she opened up about something: that may anxiety sya about social media, na pag matutulog sya, magchecheck muna sya ng accounts, baka may napost sya or namessage, looking back, idk how that connected sa d nya pagbigay ng phone pero huhu.

So ayun nga, I didn't want to suspect her of cheating on me pero andaming factors that just made me so anxious about everything, si Joshua, pagtago nya sa phone nya, how d nya naman ako type to begin with, and more. Tbh guys, I'm so lost na d ko alam gagawin ko. Sorry din if inconsistent yung story telling ko pero sobrang unstable ng emotions ko rn while writing.

saw my [f20] ex [m21] the other day lol while walking around a mall here in region 4. we even made eye contact pa before walking away. praying to god that he doesnt see this, dko alam if nagrreddit siya lol, sana hindi.

i thought na im at peace na w everything that happened kasi its been like a year between us pero the guilt of what i feel like i did incorrectly is still eating me inside. parang nalabas lahat sa hukay lahat ng nararamdamam ko after seeing him again.

we dated for almost a year tas broke up around last year. we talked openly naman after everything and i said sorry and how grateful i was for him pero dko alam bakit parang i still feel so regretful??

genuinely thought na he wouldnt be there pero binigo ako ni lord kasi i thought na i would never see him again like in those tiktoks na "if youre not meant to see each other again, you wont cross paths again, no matter how close you are to each other"

how to not stay and feel stuck after seeing him again despite living/studying in the same city? what can i do to eventually cope with these feelings?

I’ve been living in Zambales since I was a kid, until my family moved to Manila. I decided to live alone in an apartment because the province has always been my comfort zone. I’ve been living independently for almost a year, and I’ve gotten comfortable with my own routine and lifestyle.
As a fresh IT graduate earning around ₱40,000 a month, I managed to save my first six figures. I’m proud of that because financial security has always been important to me.
Recently, I left my apartment and started staying at my friend’s house, and sometimes at my family’s house. However, I can’t stay with my family for a long period because my mom already has a new husband and her own family.
Now I’m struggling to decide whether I should go back to Zambales, where I feel comfortable and where my living expenses are much lower, or move to my girlfriend’s town in Muntinlupa so I can spend more time with her, maybe three to four times a week.
The problem is that I’m quite strict with my finances. An apartment in Muntinlupa would cost around ₱8,000 to ₱10,000, while my apartment in Zambales only costs ₱3,500. Living in Manila would also mean higher daily expenses.
We’ve only been together for four months. I love my girlfriend deeply, and I genuinely want this relationship to work. At the same time, I also care about securing my future and maintaining the comfortable life I’ve built for myself. I also know that I can’t guarantee how long the relationship will last, even though I truly hope we’re together for a long time.
I’m scared of making the wrong decision. If I move to Muntinlupa, I might regret spending more and giving up my comfort zone for a relationship that might not work out. But if I go back to Zambales, I might regret missing the opportunity to spend more time with someone I love.
I don’t want to make a decision based purely on fear, but I also don’t want to sacrifice my financial goals and stability for a four-month relationship.
What do you think I should do? Should I prioritize my financial security and go back to Zambales, or should I take the risk and move closer to my girlfriend?

My Gf and i Have been dating for 5 months now

i need specific advice on improving how I respond when my girlfriend communicates her needs and feelings.

Recently, she told me that she repeatedly communicates what she needs from me, but I sometimes decide for myself what should be enough instead of actually listening. She feels unheard and taken for granted.

I’m very solution-oriented. When she tells me something hurt her, my instinct is usually to explain my intentions, defend myself, or immediately find a solution instead of actually sitting with what she’s feeling.

I also have a history of questionable interactions with a female coworker, which damaged her trust. I’ve sometimes focused on “wala naman akong ginawang cheating” instead of understanding why my behavior still hurt her.

She told me:
“You kept deciding for both of us when I repeatedly communicated naman.”

When I asked why she compared me to other people, she responded:

“It’s not comparison. It’s bare minimum.”
That made me seriously reflect on how I approach conflict.

I want advice on what specific behaviors I should change when my partner communicates a need, and how I can demonstrate change through actions rather than repeatedly apologizing.

Long read sana may mag sikap, from Region IV-A, Philippines

Problem: In short, unnecessary na pinapahirapan ako ng parents ko instead na tulungan purket hindi lang ako nakakatulong sa family business na tindahan. Ako nagpapabaon sa sarili ko btw.

Context: Hindi ko naman sinasabi na wala akong ginawang mali pero para sa akin hindi enough yung ginawa nila as a consequence ng ginawa ko. It started nung birthday ko, nag bring kasi ako ng guest (btw I'm 22) and mga classmates ko yon siguro 7 o 8 kami, napagsabihan akok ng kung ano kasi dun sa living room sa taas ay meron silang plate na puno ng 20 pesos coin and ang ginawa ko is nilagay ko naman sa room nila para secure kasi yun gusto nila (nagkusa ako and sinabi na nila yon last time, no problem) dagdag ko den na nasa kabilang bahay sila kasi may tindahan.

Nagkamalii ako sa part na nung chinat ako na nag mukhang nawala yung coins kasi sabi ko "wala na dito" nung tinanong kung nadito pa sa living room, after non kung ano-ano na sinabi. Tapos saying pa na hindi daw dinesign for guest yungg sa taas kasi yung sa baba daw yun ganon and pag nagpapa guest sila don lang. Honestly ang sakit na parang wala silang tiwala sa mga kaklase ko pero gets yung sa bat pa sa taas kaso nakakahiya den kasi mabanas pag sa baba pa kami kumain (previllege ko hanu, lol not really)

Edi ayon di ako mausap ng ilang araw and pagtagal wala ng problema sakin pero tila ba ang mother ko ay lagi na parang may galit na bawal mo kausapin kaya hanggang ngayon di pa rin kami nag-uusap. Tapos isang beses may exam ako nagmamadali ay inutusan ako ng Lola ko na nagmamadali ko ginawa and nakita sa cctv at dun nagsimula ang away na naungkat pati mga di ko naggagawa dahil sa academics (ako nagpapabaon sa sarili ko btw) tapos ayon ang sinabi ko sa reply back ko ay kahit kailan di nila cinoconsider na sumosobra sila sa mga ilang bagay at di pa den ako nakakatanggap ng sorry. Binalikan nalang ako na iba na daw takbo ng utak ko at dahil sa mga binabasa kong libro.

Eto na yung tinanggal sakin kasi nag momotor ako papuntang school and lalo ngayon may research ay lalayo to get some data. So ngayon ilang weeks na ako commute and grabe ang pagod. Ginawa daw sa akin to (per my father, sya nagtanggal) hanggat di daw kami nag-aayos at ma appreciate sa mga ginagawa.

Pero ayaw ko mag doble pa babasahin nyo para isa-isahin yung masasakit na sinabi sakin. Isa nalang sa pinaka malala ay sinabihan pa ako na buntisin ko nalang daw gf ko para malaman ko hirap ng buhay (hello di na ako humihingi ng baon at naghahanap pa trabaho?) don talaga parang di ko sila mapapatawad na sabihin nila yon.

Dagdag ko den na sinisita den ata nila yung content na pinapanood ko politically na kumokontra sa kanila, kasi DDS sila. To be clear I'm not an idealist na extreme political view and kung magalit sila sa mga content na pinapanood ko akalain mo na nagbubundok ako.

So do I have to fake an apology kahit against my ideals para lang maging comfortable? Against sya and ayaw ko kasi it just would give them a lisence to never say sorry kahit ano sabihin at insulto sa'kin and pag nag sorry ako lalo magpapatuloy DDS beliefs nila.

Previous attempts: Di ko pa ginagawa to before pero I say sorry when I did something wrong

TL;DR: Should I fake an apology just to be able to get my perks back when my parents said insulting words to me (not even guidance, just pure insults) and they want to change some of my beliefs?

My wife (28F) and I (28M) are from the Philippines. We have been together for around 4 years, are now married, and recently moved in together on May 1, 2026.

I usually leave home around 6:00 AM for work and get back around 6:30 PM. I eat the dinner she prepares, then I normally go to the gym around 7:30 PM and come home around 9:30 PM.

My wife is currently on two months of maternity leave following a miscarriage, so she is at home most of the day while I am at work.

Last night, we were talking in bed. She had been talking for quite a while, and it was already around 11:30 PM when I accidentally fell asleep while she was still talking.

She stopped talking and turned away from me. When I asked what was wrong, she explained that she feels we barely have time together anymore. She pointed out that I leave early for work, come home in the evening, eat, then leave again for the gym. By the time I come back, there are only a few hours left before we sleep.

She became very upset and said that from now on she would just stop talking to me after 10:00 PM so I could “sleep all I want.”

I kept apologizing that night and explained that I genuinely did not intend to fall asleep while she was talking. I was exhausted and did not realize I was drifting off.

During the argument, I also said that I thought it was understandable for me to be tired because I had been working the whole day while she was currently staying at home. I later realized that this probably sounded dismissive, especially because she is on leave because of our miscarriage and is still recovering physically and emotionally.

She was still upset the next morning, and I continued apologizing.

The incident made me realize that the bigger issue may be how little intentional time we actually spend together during weekdays. I do not want to stop exercising completely because going to the gym is important to me, but I also do not want my wife to feel that she only gets whatever time is left after work and the gym.

I would appreciate specific advice from couples who have dealt with similar schedules.

How can I realistically organize my weekday routine so that my wife and I have enough consistent quality time while I still maintain my gym routine?

Would it be better to shorten my workouts, go fewer days per week, go at a different time, or designate certain evenings entirely for us?

I would also appreciate advice on what I can do now, beyond repeatedly saying sorry, to show her that I understand what she was actually upset about and make her feel more prioritized.

TL;DR: My wife (28F) and I (28M) have limited weekday time together because I leave for work around 6:00 AM, get home around 6:30 PM, and usually go to the gym from 7:30–9:30 PM. She is currently on maternity leave after a miscarriage. I accidentally fell asleep while she was talking to me around 11:30 PM, and she told me the bigger problem is that we already barely have time together. I apologized repeatedly, but I now want specific advice on how to restructure my work/gym routine to create more consistent quality time with my wife and what actions I can take beyond apologizing.

So I matched this girl on a dating app, almost the same as everything kami. Only been talking for 3 weeks but already told her my intentions. Only issue is we're LDR, I'm in Commonwealth, QC. She's near Clark Mall, pampanga.she also wants to do dates 1-2 times per week which is a bit impossible due to the nature of my work. Should I move in somewhere closer or sa Clark nlng to see her almost every day or puntahan nlng every weekend?

Would love your thoughts for people who also do LDR.

TLDR: Been talking to this girl for exactly a month only through chats, nagkadevelopan agad, and then may recurring issues na overblown na nageend up na magagalit siya, kaya this time recently, nirealtalk ko at sinabihan ako na magstop nalang

Context: I [22M] (living in Davao) have had a situationship [20F] for a month already. Masasabi ko talaga na within this period, things are going way too fast between especially for a couple of people that haven’t met yet. I, not gonna lie, didn’t lovebomb her, pero its just that first time ko talaga maexperience na may babaeng napaka into me talaga sa akin being this early. We haven’t met yet, kasi gusto niya talaga on the first day of school niya kami magdate kahit sinasabihan ko na okay na saaken mag meet asap. Kaso, naiirita siya eh na “hindi ako makawait”.

Going back sa topic, masasabi ko na man may connection and attraction kami for each other through our chats sa ig. However, palagi na lang kami nag aargue (i’m trying my best to be a civil, mature person), ang problema kasi siya yung tipo na may sep anx, tas napakaselosa at clingy. Napakaselosa as in magagalit talaga siya kung may kasama akong babae na friend ko way back before kahit in a group kami nagchichismis o kumakain (nilalayoan ko talaga any girl para lang may peace of mind siya). I’ve been honest ako sa mga updates ko, lalo na kung magtatanong siya kung sino kasama ko.

So there’s a trip happening right now, pumunta kami mga kacourse ko sa cebu for a conference, may mga kasama akong mga boys (all 22M) mostly sa airbnb, tapos may isang babae (ate siya ng kaibigan ko, she was there kasi pahintulot ng parents nila, 25F). Ang ate ng friend ko tumutulong samin, nagbibili groceries at nandoon paminsan for casual chatter especially long night. Last night, inupdate ko lang naman situationship ko na nanonood lang kami tv sa couch, tas yung si ate nasa lamesa lang ng diningtable, kumakausap samin mga lalake. Nagtanong situationship ko kung kinausap ko, sabi ko na man oo, tas nagalit na naman dahil nito. I thought na this type of dynamic di talaga sustainable, lalong lalo na kung iisipin, parang binabawalan talaga ako na kumakausap sa sino mang babae, kahit di ako na-aatract o kahit anong edad (kahit 30+). I just think this is way too overblown kaya nirealtalk ko nalang na gusto umabot to sa compromise. Tagal pa niya magmessage kaya sinabihan ko na matutulog na ako and hope we fix this soon. Nagreply na man siya na “stop na natin to” later. And ngayon, wala pa naman ganap

Additional context nalang rin: siya yung tipong magagalit kung hindi ako nakaupdate kahit 30 minutes nalang kase busy ako naglalakad o naguusap in real life, tas the way siya magalit is napakachildish talaga. I can’t seem to do other things na lalo acads focusingly dahil nito, and i know her issue talaga is never niya pinapagawa sarili niya ng kahit ano, nag dodoomscroll lang palagi. I’ve always told her na gawa siya other things like maglinis o tingin movie or gawin hobbies niya, but she definitely does not follow. Kaya ayun, i just hope I can see others’ perspective about this, should I stop this situationship already? napagusapan ko na man ito sa numerous friends ko.

Looking back, I know I made a lot of mistakes. I became emotionally reactive, and whenever we had misunderstandings, I would often threaten to break up instead of communicating in a healthy way. Eventually, it became emotionally exhausting for him.

When we had our last conversation after the breakup, he told me he needed space and time. He said he didn’t want to make any decisions while he was emotionally drained or feeling pressured. He never explicitly said the door was completely closed, but he also didn’t promise that we’d get back together.

Right now, I’m respecting his request. I haven’t contacted him, I’m taking a break from social media, exercising, eating better, and trying to work on myself.

What I need advice on is this:

Is giving him space and time the right thing to do? For those who have been in a similar situation, did respecting your ex’s request help? Did it give both of you time to heal, whether you eventually reconciled or simply moved on?

I’m not looking for false hope. I just want honest advice and experiences from people who have gone through something similar.