Mum came to the UK as an asylum seeker when we were 4 and 5 years old. X2 daughters - me and my sis. We are now 30, so this was around 26 years ago.
She worked for around 10 years then had to stop due to racial abuse, physical injury, resulting in PTSD, spcial anxiety and the list goes on.
Single parents btw. No qualifications really. Passed life in the UK and speaks broken english. Well enough to survive and have a chat here and there.
Got all the benefits and things you get in her position. She needed them.
We continued to live with her and still do...
We have done well. Both daughters went to uni but lived at home. Couldnt afford moving out.
Some of our uni grants funded groceries etc. Sent money back home.
I am a junior doctor working full time in rotational training.
My sister is a nurse.
We both work full time.
Problem:
She stopped her benefits last year because she feels her health mentally is better, and it is, she can leavr the house now. We all still live together.
Me and my sister have been paying the rent and all bills and pay for everything.
Her car, petrol, groceries, her clothes, her insurance, all of it. She has no source of income and 0 savings.
She refuses to work and i honestly dont know how she would ever get a job. She has no confidence, and is nervous when trying to speak fluent english. Not good with tech at all. Can just about use her phone.
Her mental health history has limited everything in her life. She is really antosocial.
We still live in a rented house with her.
My sister and I want to find partners, and get on with our lives.
As a doctor, I am limited with where I can work. I have turned down excellent job offers cos I cant afford moving and paying my rent as well as her rent.
I dont have many savings and drive a bad car.
The fear is that I am now trying to apllying for the next step in my training. I will have to move somewhere else. I also want to find a partner and live with him.
My sister wants to do the same.
How on earth will we manage?
We cant and dont want to work full time once we have kids.
But if we dont. How do we afford to fund her entire life?
Is there anything that can support someone like her?
She isnt on benefits.
She has 0 savings, really isnt confident to work, says she doesnt want to, and there is a massive cultural expectation and societal blackmail where we have to support her forever. She is really good to us. She is the reason we left a war zone, and she did it alone.
Our dad was killed when we were 3.
But she is a burden. We have no savings cos of her. And life is always going to be like this.
Dont say "telk her to get a job" because she wont. She will also end up homeless without us.
We are in an awful situation. This will affect our quality of life forever.
I havent gone on holiday because i cant afford it. Ny colleagues think I am crazy. I am scared of what the future looks like.
She isnt entitled to benefits. She is deemed fit to work. She willingly stopped them last year as feels she is fine now.
My mental health is affected. I worry about the future. My training (surgery) is so intense. I am constsntly bullied and we dont get paid enough as juniors. I cant be ambitous with training as cant afford to go to excellent centres in better locations. When I move out, I will have to pay for her whole life too.
My sister will have to do the same.
How will we look after our own kids or support them?
Sometimes qe wish we were not born.
We have nothing to look forward to.