Then I remembered I was British.

The magic 8 Ball head-butted me in the balls.

The two gay men in tuxedos looked at each other awkwardly, not knowing which is supposed to be which

Which is very disheartening because that is the only way I know how to play guitar.

looks at cardboard tube

Wait guys I messed up

And he never came bake.

When I said sure the travel agent stabbed pencils into my veins.

And then they stripped me of my skin :(

The water dripping on her absolutelys dead body turned cold.

I walked out onto the lake and immediately flipped upside down and drowned with the bottom of my feet on the top of the water.

what are those guys doing with that comically large cannon

My mistake I was attacked by scrotum Steve, and that is why he bit off my scrotum.

“No i haven’t”