Testimony / Trigger Warning x2
We hear people say it all the time, "Music saved my life," but 311 actually saved my life a few years ago, and only now am I ready to start telling my story, as an extended thank you to 311. I will try to be brief.
In my 20s, I was pregnant and in a failing relationship, while living at home. Wasted too many years with a man who didn't want me, didn't want the baby, and wouldn't live with me. I was stuck living at home with my folks who constantly made me feel unwelcomed, and reminded me frequently that it wasnt my home, I was just a guest. I was unable to move for financial reasons beyond my control. I fear giving away too many details could make me identifiable.
I lacked real love in my family. I lacked real love in my relationship. I had no love in my heart or life to care for a child. I never wanted to be a mother, and always feared I would fall mentally ill. It may be true, you never know how deep of a depression hole you're sitting in until you dig your way back out.
I can only describe this time of my life as feeling out of options. All my friends had moved. I lacked any support in my life. I felt that I had no one to text, no one to call, no one in my life to turn to.
The only escape I could find was driving. I would drive from county to county for hours, crying, and searching for an answer. I wanted to end my life so desperately by this point. I needed to escape all physical, mental and emotional pain, but was trying to figure out how to make it look like an accident.
I looked at every semi truck that passed me in the opposite direction, trying to decide which one to drive in to head on. It seemed like an easy out and I was building up the courage as I approached 60mph. Beyond the Gray Sky came on in the car, and when I needed it most, Nick Hexum told me he cared. He told me to not give up the fight, if not for myself, then for him. Im here today because of 311.
If you see a young lady crying in the crowd to Beyond the Gray Sky, its because she knows there was going to be a reality where she wasnt at that concert. She knows she was 1 truck away from never seeing another day, and thanks to 311, she gets to sing her heart out, and find joy again everyday. I tattooed Beyond the Gray sky on me as a reminder to never let myself get that low again. There will always be sunshine behind the storm, and there will always be something or someone worth living for, and I pass that message on today.
Happy to say life has turned out good for me so far in adulthood. Ive had a successful career, and a loving, supportive partner for several years. Dont give up the fight. It will get better.
I've had the privilege to attend a few shows this tour, as well as a few prior years. I'll be at the West Palm show Aug. 30th, and how oh so bittersweet it will be to watch another tour close out. Until next time boys.
Thank you from the bottom of my (living) heart, Nick, SA, Chad, Tim & Pnut. I doubt that they will ever see this, but I hope they know they save lives, or atleast saved mine.
