I'm almost 40 and still feel this way. I'm always the outsider. I have no friends and no sense of community. I have tried living in different cities and nothing really sticks. I've tried connecting to other desis but the ones that are more into the culture and religion usually lose interest in me because I'm not at their level.

With Indian immigrants they are cliquey and usually just want to socialize with people who grew up in India. I do understand Hindi and Marathi but I guess that still doesn't matter. I was bullied a lot at school growing up for my ethnicity so I was in that self hatred phase for awhile.

I recently read my ancestors autobiography and that was so moving for me. My ancestor was famous back in the day as a stage actor and contributed so much to Marathi theater. It's like I want to know more but because of my past I just feel like I can't ever connect to it. Sorry if what I wrote just doesn't make sense.

Presenting my latest artpiece, on Radha Krishna, the eternal dance. Always wanted to portray the feeling on how the two might have felt in each other's presence. The sense of longing and content both visible at the same time. I have tried my best to showcase that feeling, being "Enchanted"

As my other artworks, canvas prints of this are also available, you can connect.

Thanks for viewing my artwork and reading the post, have a nice day.

Hello,

My fiancé is Hindu Mauritian (although we were both born and raised in London). He does not have much blood family and is no contact with his mum.

He doesn't really know anyone that is Hindu and didn't grow up being taken to temple, but he places a lot of value on Navratri and Diwali - can anyone provide ideas of things I can do to make this year special for him? I grew up Christian and I'm now atheist so I don't have much knowledge and want to get it right!

Thank you in advance.

There is the convention in which diasporic Western South Asian parents wanting their children to do these careers, either because of poverty or because of simple tradition and reputational face.

But I wonder in recent years if it is still the case. Some second Gens like Ranj Singh (Get Well Soon presenter) and Shabana Mahmood chose to study Medicine and Law because they are passionate about

I know there are way, way bigger problems facing our ABCD community right now, and around the world there are people suffering everywhere. So I understand if this comes off as privileged. I am looking for some anti-racism and anti-discrimination teaching materials that specifically pertain to dealing with the South Asian communities. My child's public elementary school has a minority principal, however, I do not think that the Indian students are being treated fairly. This is such a nuanced and delicate topic, and I'd love to find some content made by someone NOT in our community that I could take back to my child's principal. While I think our voices are most important on this issue, I do not feel other communities listen to what we have to say unless it is said by someone else. Journal articles, blogs, training materials, books, I'll take anything at this point. Thank you for reading.

Two failed batches this week. Dough looks smooth as a ball, but cracks at the edges the second I try to thin the pari. Can't get it thin enough to pleat, so the shells come out thick with a dough knot at the top. Taste is fine, nothing bursts — it just won't stretch.

Flour: 24 Mantra Organic rice flour (NYC), sieved. Label is 30g per 1/4 cup.

What I did both times: full rolling boil with salt + ghee, flour dumped in all at once, covered on low 3 min, rested 5, then kneaded 5–7 min and made sure to start when it was hot. Kept it covered and warm while shaping. Wet hands, not oiled.

Ratios tried: 1:1, then 1:1.25 water to flour. Both times I still had to add extra water during kneading.

So:

- Is my ratio just too dry for US flour? What works for you?

- Is 24 Mantra the wrong brand for this? How's Swad?

- If both are bad — what flour do you use in the US and where do you buy it?

Anything missing in my technique? Images https://postimg.cc/gallery/Ghgys8j

THANK YOU!

I live in Canada and it’s so absurdly fucked up that suddenly my opinion counts for less when my last name shows and people find out I’m of Indian origin. The entire Western world seems to have this massive hate boner for us right now and I’m tired of having to conceal my race or pretend I don’t speak my first language (Hindi/Urdu) to be taken seriously. It’s like poison in the air slowly making me second guess myself. And the worst part is all the grifters amplifying it and blaming all of Canada’s problems on us.

This is just a vent post. I’m just losing my patience with this and I’m tired of being seen as a second class citizen.

Edit: To the racist brigaders in the comments— don’t you have something better to do? It’s called a job application.

I'm 14. School is starting on Tuesday. Last year sucked; the year before it sucked, the year before that sucked. You wanna know why? We all have heard the tune: racism. It happens to me nearly every year. Being a closeted indian boy isn't fun, with all the anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, but this is r/ABCDesis; we're talking about desis.

So many times, more than I can count, people do the goshdarn accent or the freaking meme song or call me a scammer, or a dirty programmer, or some stupid stuff. It's just so annoying and is messing with my mental health.

Not to mention the fact that both my parents agree that I have autism/adhd but my dad doesn't want to check because that'll magically get to the ears of my bigoted dad's side of the family in India. I have a million things to do, and I want to have a bright future and still be a kid, and there's so much pressure!

People are coming at me from every side. I'm dogcrap at swimming, but good enough to be the worst on the teams that I join, I'm stereotyped heavily (I swear to whatever is up there, if there is something, I'm gonna scream the next time someone does something racist), and I just feel tired all the time, no matter how much I sleep, or how much I try being happy, it's like there's nothing.

Not an ABCD but a FOB. I have a two year old daughter who is an ABCD. I am trying to teach her Hindi through loris, hindi songs and nursery rhymes. Sometime, I fear that I will confuse her and she won’t learn either languages well.

I do want her to learn about India. However, we have a very small Indian community in my city and I do not have any Indian or ABCD friends with kids her age.

What worked for you and what didn’t? What would you tell your parent to not do.

Also, whatever this other conversation is

I'm not some un-athletic 30 year old who has never kissed a girl or something like I'm assuming the stereotype of guys that want to go for AM is, but being in an area with not many Desi people and the job market being too cheeks for me to just up and relocate somewhere with more it seems really difficult to actually find someone I would want to marry or could see something long term with.

I wonder if it's even possible to arrange something that won't be overly transactional and will just give me exposure to people in other locations with similar values and intentions.

I just turned 24 and would ideally like to be married in the next couple of years.

Too late to know me
I'm going without you
You're saying if only
If only ~

Red label isn't hitting anymore and it's hard to really trust anything off the shelves in the US in terms of freshness/quality.

Is there a chai that actually delivers the black tea flavor through a drink with equal parts water and milk? I just noticed from going to boba shops that the tea flavor comes much stronger than the Indian chais I have had despite the latter being brewed for longer + higher heat. So trying to emulate this myself.

Hi! Looking for experiences from anyone who’s been in a similar situation.

I’m a US citizen and my husband is a French citizen. He’s been living in the US for the past 7 years and we’ve been married for about 1.5 years. We’re looking into starting the green card process soon.

For anyone who sponsored their spouse while they were already living in the US, what was the process like for you and how long did it take?

Also curious if anyone here sponsored a spouse who had already been living in the US for several years before getting married/applying and whether that made any difference in the process.

I’ve been reading everything online but would love to hear actual experiences, especially from people who’ve gone through it recently. Any advice or things you wish you knew before filing would be really appreciated!

Lesser imp question regarding OCI- can he get his OCI as well through me even if he doesn’t have any ties to India?