Assalam o Alaikum everyone.
I’m genuinely struggling with my faith because of how women are spoken about and treated in the Jamaat. I want to understand.
I’ve been debating whether to post this because I don’t want this to come across as an attack on Islam, Khilafat, or Ahmadi Muslims. But I’m genuinely hurt and angry, and at this point I don’t know where else to put these questions.
There are several things I’ve encountered from the teachings/statements of our Khalifa regarding women that I find extremely difficult to reconcile with my understanding of women’s dignity, intelligence, and ability.
- Women leaders and “housework”
In this post, Hazrat Mirza Masroor Ahmad (aba) is quoted as explaining the success of women leaders during COVID-19 in relation to their experience with household work:
https://x.com/farihahammad/status/1268596089202061314
This really bothered me. Why is the success of female political leaders explained through their experience doing housework? Women can be exceptional leaders because they’re intelligent, educated, strategic, compassionate, experienced, decisive, and capable just like men.
If a male political leader successfully navigated a crisis, would we explain his leadership by saying it was because he had experience in successfully being the head of a household? Maybe there is context I’m missing. If there is, please explain it to me.
But on its face, it feels like women’s achievements are being filtered through their traditional domestic role rather than being recognized on their own merit.
- Women being considered too “emotional” for burials
Hazrat Mirza Tahir Ahmad (rh) discusses women not attending burials and refers to women being more emotional:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9TMsajwSXI
I’ve had a problem with this since I was little and my dad told me this was the rule.
Why should emotionality be treated as an inherent characteristic of women that disqualifies them from participating in something as important as a burial? Women grieve. Men grieve. Some women are extremely composed during funerals. Some men are extremely emotional. Some people faint, cry, panic, or become overwhelmed regardless of gender.
If the concern is that some individuals may not be able to handle a burial emotionally, why does that become a restriction based on sex? And more fundamentally, why is being emotional treated as evidence that someone is less capable or less suited to certain responsibilities?
- Women should stay out of politics and give their ideas to men
At approximately 52:18 in this video, there is a statement that women should not enter politics and should instead give their ideas to men:
https://youtu.be/_cm4asA8m8?si=Acwomia2vo4QCv35
This is probably one of the hardest things for me to understand. Why should a politically educated and capable woman have to give her ideas to a man rather than participate herself? This is very limiting.
If a woman has knowledge of economics, law, political science, international relations, public policy, etc., why should her gender prevent her from using that knowledge directly in political leadership? Why does the man need to be the intermediary?
I understand that Islam has historically recognized different responsibilities for men and women. But I don’t understand why that necessarily means women are inherently less suited to political leadership.
- Why are there so few women in Jamaat leadership?
This brings me to something I’ve personally struggled with for a long time: Why are women so limited in leadership within the Jamaat?Women make up half of the community. Women are educated. Women are professionals. Women are teachers, scientists, lawyers, doctors, academics, organizers, researchers, business owners, and community leaders.
So why does meaningful decision-making leadership remain overwhelmingly male? Especially in central shura! Why are women only leaders of Lajna and men are leaders of the WHOLE Jamaat? Why women aren’t equally represented in the broader leadership and decision-making structures of the Jamaat. If women are intellectually and spiritually capable of leadership, why are they so often separated from the places where the most consequential decisions are made?
And I know what people will say. It’s about “pardah” and “modesty”.
Why is it considered inappropriate for women to directly interact with male leaders including things like facing them, speaking directly to them, or being in certain leadership environments because of purdah
I understand that Islam prohibits inappropriate relationships and encourages men and women to behave respectfully. But why does normal professional interaction have to be treated as though it is inherently romantic or sexually charged? Women are capable of talking to men without being attracted to them.
If the principle is that men and women should maintain appropriate boundaries, why does the solution so often appear to be limiting women’s access and participation rather than expecting both men and women to behave responsibly?
- There seems to be a larger pattern here
This is what is really upsetting me. If I look at these things individually, I’m told there is context. But when I put them together, I see a pattern:
Women are described as more emotional. Women’s success is sometimes explained through domestic skills. Women are discouraged from political leadership. Women are separated from men in leadership environments. Women have fewer opportunities to participate in broader Jamaat leadership. And then I’m expected to accept that all of this somehow doesn’t reflect a lower view of women’s capabilities.
I want women to be treated as equally capable human beings. I want women to be able to contribute their ideas directly.
- What makes this especially painful
I care about my faith enough that these things are genuinely hurting me. I don’t want to walk away from something I’ve believed in because I encountered teachings I couldn’t understand. But I’m also reaching a point where I can’t just ignore my questions. I’ve interacted with countless young who feel the same way. I’d even like to argue that majority of young women feel the same.
If you’ve struggled with the same questions and found answers that allowed you to remain comfortable in your faith, I’d like to hear them. And if you disagree with me, that’s okay too. Please just engage with the actual questions.