hey..so idk how to even start explaining this.. i'm in therapy atm but i feel like it made my rage worse. i had a few situations in the last week where i got so angry- mostly when i got accused of stuff i didnt do- and i just went off the rails.. screaming, cursing..i felt like i need to defend myself and afterwards i felt so ashamed :( for the longest time i burried my feelings (especially rage and sadness) and i just felt so empty. and stuff like that happening would just make me insecure and question myself but never THAT angry.
i got angry in intimate relationships but never outside of that and not that often.. and now i'm left feeling that i'm just this angry person that goes off at things and i hate it. i just feel like the worst person and so cruel and like i'm not kind and everyone would be better off without me
like i hate everything happening around me
anyone ever experience that or similar after being empty for the longest time? i started to open up in therapy in terms of showing my vulnerable feelings, i even cried.. before i was very much joking around most of the time
so this feels related in a way bc i finally felt the things that hurt me so much in the past
this shit scares me .. i'm so afraid that i'm a bad Person and just didnt let myself feel it before and now it all gets out.. idk if any of this makes sense
would appreciate some thoughts on this x
(english is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes or bad grammar)