r/AnimalAdvice • u/Mental_Package4853 • 15d ago
Guilt
8/9 On Sunday night my poor 15 year old girl cat was at an increased RR of 35. She was also acting withdrawn
8/10 (Monday) I took her into her vet the next day. They did Xray and found a lung mass and pleural effusion. They did labs and potassium was mildly low, 3.3, and BUN was slightly high. Everything else, including SrCr were normal. They drained 70 cc from her chest and send her home on furosemide 1 mL BID, and orbifloxin ABX 1 x daily. They said give it time for the furosemide to catch up.
8/11 (Tuesday) I was freaking out because she was still tired and I was worried she hadn’t peed, which she ended up peeing. This made me a little hopeful. She didn’t eat except for out of my hand. She did however drink a lot of water. To pee and drink water was the only time she’d get up.
8/12 (Wednesday) nothing really changed but I did notice a little wobble when she’d get up. At this time lab results were not back for thoracentesis
8/13 (Thursday afternoon) called for results of thoracentus. No obvious cancer cells, no fungus. Increased WBC. I expressed concern that she wasn’t eating well, was wobbly, and hadn’t pooped since Sunday. They said I had two options, ID referral, or come in for repeat Xr and possible drainage and steroids and fluids. I opted for the second option, I told them she was drinking and they responded “that’s good”. They ended up draining 25 cc, and never mentioned fluids again. They asked if I wanted to food stimulant and I asked if the steroid would help with that and they said yes
8/14 (Friday) she’s weak and not moving much. Now I’m not noticing her getting up for really anything. If I put tuna water in front of her she drank it. I realized I didn’t feel okay going to bed with her like that so I took her to the emergency veterinary. I started to think her extreme lethargy wasn’t related to fluid on lungs , and started to suspect other causes. I thought she might have had critically low potassium
That Friday night in the er, they ran her BP, 90 sys
They did two 15 min bolus, on the second, her labs came back. Her BUN had sky rocketed (can remember), her SrCr was 3.8, sodium was 160, and her potassium was mildly low.
They said they could monitor her 48 hours and correct this, but that taking her home was ultimately inhumane. Her prognosis was already poor, so I was told. And this whole week felt like I was robbing Peter to pay Paul. I felt that I was going to restore her for uncertain reasons, and ultimately put her down. It was the most difficult decision I have ever made, and bwtween the two options I was given, I feel I made the harder decision to live with.
Why I feel regret: on Thursday they mentioned fluids, I said she was drinking. She was! It was the only thing she did infact. I wish I had never said that. I wish that vet had educated me that she was still likely dehydrated. Her mouth felt dry, I should’ve known the signs. Second reason, I was in school during all this and I feel like realistically if I wasn’t I would’ve done more, ie, specialized care. I feel I took the easy way out.
My hope is that I am not seeing it clearly. I hope from outsider perspective that she was ill, and her prognosis was poor. I can live with my decision if I did it to bypass more suffering on her end. It just hurts that she had a terrible last week of sickness on this earth. I wanted her to get better so bad, and I feel her care was consistently behind the curve and that she needed meticulous care with repeat labs to ensure stability. I made every call to the vet, and I don’t know if they were prepared for that sick of a cat.
1
u/mesunflower1997 7d ago
I had to let my dog go a few weeks ago. He’d been sick for over a month and there was no clear reason why. You can’t blame yourself. Letting them go is the kindest thing we can do for them. I’m sorry for your loss.
1
1
u/Substantial_Bar_7127 14d ago
Please don't blame yourself. Your love for her is so apparent and I'm sure she loved you just as much. It sounds as if you did everything possible for her. Sorry for your loss.