Adrian monk from the show monk (good show and is similar to psych which is also a great show) is not only formally married and is looking for the person who murdered trudy (his dead wife) but in an episode he has stated and shown to not like sex and the most intmenmacy he got with trudy was holding hands in bed the whole night. Just saying he can love people and not want sex so he is one of the great ace reps we have in media

For context : I am severely mentally ill. I have been diagnosed with bipolar, ptsd, anxiety, ocd and I’m recovering from an ed. My first time was one of the worst experience of my life. It hurt and I felt so vulnerable I just bursted out in tears. I hate kisses cause I feel like it’s unsanitary. I hate thinking about sex or imagining dirty scenarios. I rarely masturbate, and when I do it doesn’t last more than 10 minutes and I get little to no pleasure. I find pleasure and porn overwhelming and I just don’t want to have an orgasm. I do not want to have sex. I hate feeling like I lose control of my body, I hate being naked, I hate feeling vulnerable. I have been sexually assaulted once during my childhood but it wasn’t too much of a trauma so I don’t think it’s all linked to that. I have been sexually assaulted a couple more times during my teenage years but it didn’t change my relationship with sex that much. I have a lot of trauma related to the lack of control I felt while I was getting severely bullied.

I don’t know if I can call myself asexual when Im just there wondering if it’ll go away when I get a psychologist. What do you think ?

So when u want relationships but physically and mentally can’t have them is this asexualism? Or smth else.. I’m not sure

but it wld be a good cope just to say I don’t have a sex drive

Dated a girl who I was really enjoying talking to.
Long story short there was a lot of confusion at a point from her and I knew exactly where it was coming from, and we had a lovely, lovely discussion about her likely being aroace.

I discussed it with her and said I’m asexual myself and could relate and it was a really nice convo. She said she’d genuinely really really like to be friends with me and I was legit so happy about that.

Her texting was always erratic, she said due to her adhd, and I tried to give A LOT of grace as I’m audhd myself and wouldn’t want to make someone feel guilty for what they struggle with.

But… after saying she wants to be friends, the conversation became less. I ask her if she wants to come out with me and friends - she’s working. I send her a reel - she doesn’t get back until 2 weeks later.

It was strange because she would always sound warm when she did appear. This went on for about 2/3 months and I was getting frustrated.

Some ADHDers said to try calling as for some it’s easier. So I called (on insta, I don’t have her number) and she left me on seen! I send a message just saying that I know she said she genuinely wanted to be friends, but I’m not getting that vibe and asked if maybe I’m misunderstanding.

Left. On. Seen.

I removed her now, but my silly little brain is still trying to give grace.
Feel like I just needed to vent this and see if maybe you guys can help me make any sense of this.

This is something that has been worrying me for a bit and I really need some advice! Since I was a kid I was sure I never wanted to have sex, not to yuck anyone’s yum, but yuck. I don’t want to see a naked man just as much as I really don’t want to see a naked woman. But, I’ve always thought, since about 6th or 7th grade that I’m bi, or I guess more specifically, biromantic. I’ve never really felt certain though. I’m a girl, and I just started college. Boys would occasionally ask for my number in high school but I didn’t give it out. That’s the farthest my romantic life has ever gone. I really want to be in a relationship though, so here are my biggest dilemmas:
- I’m worry no one in college will be ok with a relationship that doesn’t go pass kissing
- I don’t know how to let girls know I’m bi (I’m pretty sure I’m bi but who know at this point)
- I’m worried that if I do end up with a girl and begin to like her she’ll think she’s just an experiment for me to figure out my self and that’s why I won’t have sex with her
- And lastly that whoever I’m with will feel insecure that I’m not attracted to there body sexually (like if a boy got hard around me I would be so repulsed and uncomfortable but I know it’s a normal function and I don’t want to make anyone feel bad)
Sorry all of that is all over the place and kind of tmi but let me know if you have any advice, or just advice for dating in college as an asexual!

(I posted this on another ace sub and didn't get answers so I'm hoping here I would get answers.) (also hope there's nothing offensive about it but I am lost myself.)

I don't know if that's the right place for this but long story short I wasn't sure if I was asexual back then though mom was supportive of me whether I was or not but when I was almost 16 I got raped by rapists and physically assaulted to near death. I probably can't get to context for my own safety since I live in Egypt but, I don't know if that's me being overly fucked up that trauma fucks me up like this and makes me sex repulsive? Like is there's even a definition for this? Idk. I feel disgusting it trauma was able to do this to me, nothing against being ace but you not being able to define urself. Sorry if this isn't the appropriate place for this post but I'm kinda confused myself rn. I feel like my sense of "self discovery" is shattered (?).

Some boys in my school gave me the message that I was supposed to want sex with attractive girls.

I got the same message from grown men as well.

I rarely desire sex, but it's not with a specific person. I have a low libido.

Okay so Idek where to start exactly. I always saw myself as the stereotypical cis girl ally. XD And then my (aroace) roommate came around the corner and told me about asexuality and since then (half a year) I've been wondering if it fits me. At first I wasn't sure, but I cannot really define how sexual attraction feels like. Heck, I didn't even know what arousal feels like. When I think about crushes I mostly want to spend time with them talking or stuff, sex was always more a thing people in relationships do. (It took me embarrassingly long to realize they do it just like that for fun too.) I like the label, I feel it fits me, but I also feel guilty for using it, because I am just not SURE. I do find people hot, but do I mean the same as allo people?? I have no reference, what is sexual attraction supposed to feel like? I kind of don't want to intrude in a community I don't belong to, so now I am questioning every interaction. And I feel like there could be something down there, but then again I am really focused on it at the moment. And sometimes I get like flashes of images and I didn't before, it makes me anxious and I hate it and I want them gone. On a side note, the thought of my future partner wanting sex from me both sounds nice and sickening. I am somewhat curious about sex in theory, but it's just very confusing when I try to apply it to real life. Also I am very much disgusted by the thought of doing a blowjob, if, then someone else touching me, but I have no desire to touch sb elses genitalia. At least not with my hands or mouth. Also my apologies, this was probably tmi 😭

You can read "Demon King is Misunderstood!" at:

At Tapas https://tapas.io/series/Demon-King-is-Misunderstood/info

At Webtoon https://www.webtoons.com/en/canvas/demon-king-is-misunderstood/list?title_no=1035639

I’ve been wrestling with this realisation my whole life. Even now I’m shit faced. I’ve quit all the substances that had me delving deep into my fetishes on this app. (Molly, Coke, Weed) primarily had driven any sexual tendencies I had. Since I’ve gotten sober, over 30 days I’ve reverted to my old self. I’m writing so coherently because honestly this rant has been writing itself in my soul my entire adult life. I worry deeply that I’ll never be able to sustain any form of relationship with anyone. I yearn to find someone who gets me. It just doesn’t seem possible. I could word this better but had I been sober I wouldn’t have found the courage to word this at all. How do men live with this? This demasculating shame of not being able to provide the life I believe I could lead. Fuck. I don’t know PM me. I’m really out of words here, I’m out of everything. Don’t give me words give me your experience. I don’t know how much longer I can carry this alone.

A song about realizing you are asexual in the modern world.

Están todos invitados a r/AsexArgentina . Siéntanse libres de participar. Es un nuevo espacio para la comunidad asexual en español. Saludos!

Hello, my name is Luna and I am a transfemme lesbian! I have recently been thinking and talking to friends and my girlfriend about my sexual orientation. I had a talk recently with my girlfriend about sex and my sex drive and we both agreed that I should do some research on my sexual orientation because of said conversation.

For some context I am madly in love with my girlfriend! Sex is a normal part of our relationship, but we both have very different sex drives and it has been somewhat affecting us. I am extremely insecure about my sex drive because it annoys me how much it varies. For example: I feel like my sex drive is on a very large, constantly varying scale/spectrum. Sometimes I will feel extremely sexual (butterflies, super energetic, etc.) and other times I will feel absolutely nothing even though a part of me does want to have sex. Those are just two examples, but my sex drive and my motivation to do so is constantly varying on that theoretical spectrum and it honestly upsets me. That isn’t really the point of this post though! I’m just curious if I actually am aceflux and what that means for myself.

From my understanding, I think aceflux means that your sex drive is always changing and sometimes stays in a specific place for however long! I feel like that describes me pretty well but I have practically no knowledge of the ace spectrum and what the terms mean. So my question for you all is, I am a sexual person and I do enjoy sex quite a lot, but sometimes my body is just completely shut off to the idea of sex not because I’m not interested in my girlfriend anymore or have no sexual attraction to her, but because I just feel no desire to have sex at that time. Is that what aceflux means? Or is there something else to describe me. Thank you all for your advice and help :)

Growing up as a teenager my younger sister had boyfriends and I just assumed I wasnt ready for one and I was a late bloomer as I was 18 and still didnt want a boyfriend. Then in my 20s I just didnt care enough to think about having a boyfriend, but then on a night out with friends they found out id never had a bf and obviously still a virgin so they peer pressured me to be with this guy which I only kissed nothing else but he kissed me and this kiss didnt make me feel anything which I put down as just not knowing him that well and he wanted to go further but I just said im not leaving my friends (as it obviously isnt safe to wonder off with someone I dont know). I didnt even know what I wanted at this stage but he in the end came across as a creep so I got a taxi home and that was the end of that and I never thought about guys or anything. I did go on tinder a bit but it was mainly because I felt like this is what im supposed to do. Your supposed to meet someone, and have a future with someone but I never actively went on it as it didnt interest me so I kept forcing myself occasionally to go on it until I gave up as cba with it. I used to think I saw a celebrity and thought they are fit and had a crush on them but now ive realised it was just a good looking guy and I dont have a crush and dont think ive ever had a crush on anyone. I always thought I was lazy and couldn't be bothered dating and going out to meet people but thinking now I dont actually want a bf, the thought of sex grosses me out, im 35 now and this realisation has only hit me a couple of months ago when I was 34.

Since theres a whole reddit for it I know its normal all this but it doesnt feel it when it feels like naturally your supposed to want to be with someone and if I explain this to anyone who isnt asexual then they wont understand but isnt like I havent had the options as ive been asked out before quite a few times and I always just say no

Ok, so, for reference, I'm NB and mostly (romantically) attracted to girls myself, but I feel like men are just, y'know, too weird about women. Idk, it's like the only thing boys my age talk about is how they find that girl cute or hot or sexy or whatever, even going as far as commenting on a random girl's appearance or sexual life behind their back, which for me is just outright being a creep.

I feel like I'm a prude saying it like this, but honestly I really don't notice the same thing happening with girls when they comment about someone they like. I mean, I still find it somewhat annoying, but at least girls will just say they find someone attractive (sometimes exaggeratly say the person they find attractive is "the love of their dreams" or "a prince" or some other cheesy thing). Boys, in the other hand, will comment about that person's sexual life, or how they're wearing, or how their eyes tell they're horny or whatever.

I'm not saying every men is like this (although, again, in personal experience I only saw men acting like this), or that no one should talk about people they find attractive, but there is a difference between saying someone is attractive and being a creep.