I’m a guy in my 40s and I could really use some dad energy for a minute.

My dad has never shown much interest in me or my life. I spent a lot of years working hard, being a good person, hoping that eventually I’d do something that would make him proud enough to notice me or give me some affection, attention, time....anything.

By most measures, I’ve done pretty well. I’m healthy, fit, kind to people, good space in my life.... and I’ve had plenty of people tell me that my parents must be proud of me.

But my dad just seems…unmoved....maybe even resentful. His absence - emotionally and physically hits deep with me. Which is the opposite of what I want or need.

I think the hardest part is realizing I’m still waiting for something I probably will never get. I don’t really miss the dad I had. I miss the dad I needed.

He’s also gone in a very different direction politically in recent years, which has made that distance feel even bigger. I'm feeling it strongly lately.

So, if you’re one of those dads who believes in people, and knows how to make a guy feel like he’s doing okay...he is worthy…could you give me a little pep talk? DMs preferred...but open to any communication.

I think I need to hear that I’m not unworthy just because my own dad never seemed able to see me.

I’m looking for perspectives from people who have been through something similar, especially men who have experimented sexually in the past or partners who have had to rebuild trust after learning things gradually. For context, I’m F33 and my boyfriend is M39. A few months ago, I learned things about my boyfriend’s sexual past that I hadn’t known before. Before our relationship, he had a small number of same-sex experiences with men, as well as separate experiences/attraction involving trans women. He had also communicated sexually with trans women in the past and watched porn involving trans women for quite a while.
He tells me that he does not identify as bisexual or pansexual. He has described different parts of his past as curiosity, experimentation, fantasy, and sexual attraction, but says none of it represents something he wants to pursue in his real life now. He says he doesn’t want a relationship with a man or a trans woman, doesn’t feel like he is missing those experiences, and genuinely wants our relationship.
The bigger problem is that I didn’t learn everything clearly and consistently from the beginning.
Some things came out little by little. There were things that were initially minimized, described as “just curiosity” or “just fantasy,” and then later acknowledged as attraction or as being more significant than I originally understood. Because of that, I feel like I experienced what people sometimes call “trickle truthing” or “truth crumbing.”
That has made it incredibly difficult for me to know what to believe now.
I want to make an important distinction because I don’t want this to come across as me believing bisexual or pansexual people can’t be monogamous. That isn’t what I mean. I understand that someone can be attracted to multiple types of people and still choose and be completely committed to one partner.
My fear feels much more personal than that.
I keep wondering whether I can truly be enough for him.
Because he was interested enough in these things in the past to explore them sexually, communicate with people, and repeatedly watch that type of porn, part of me worries that there is something I simply cannot provide him as a cis woman. I start wondering whether he could genuinely be completely fulfilled with me or whether there is some part of himself he is suppressing or giving up.
He tells me that isn’t how he feels. He says those things are in his past, they aren’t important to him anymore, and he isn’t longing to experience them again.
I want to believe him.
But because some of the truth was minimized or came out gradually, I now struggle with knowing whether my fear is telling me there must be more, or whether I actually have enough information and need to decide whether I’m willing to trust what he is telling me today.
I also recognize that there has to be a point where asking more and more questions stops helping. I don’t want to spend the rest of our relationship interrogating him about his past or looking for absolute certainty that I can never realistically have.
So I guess my questions are:
Can someone genuinely have sexual experiences, attractions, fantasies, or porn interests that were meaningful enough to explore at one point in their life, but later have little or no desire to pursue them anymore?
If you have personally been in his position, were you able to genuinely move on from certain sexual interests or experiences without feeling deprived or like you were suppressing part of yourself?
And for people who have experienced trickle truthing from a partner: how did you determine when you finally knew enough to stop searching for more information and decide whether or not to trust them again?
I think that’s ultimately where I am. I love him and want to rebuild trust, but I’m scared of believing him completely and finding out years from now that I ignored something important. At the same time, I’m scared that my fear of not being enough will destroy a relationship with someone who may actually be telling me the truth now.
I’d really appreciate thoughtful perspectives from people who have actually lived through something similar rather than just “leave him” or assumptions about his sexuality.

hi guys i really need some help
im 18, i drive a relatively small car, i used to be able to parallel parking with my driving instructor! but my dad never let me do it in my car while i was learning, he didn’t trust me

fast forward, ive had my licence maybe 6 months, and i avoid parking
i don’t park between or next to cars, i only park if i can drive straight in, i will not turn into a park
i have completely forgotten not to parallel park, and i am too scared to practice

i enjoy driving, im a huge car enthusiast, but parking makes me unbearably anxious. i don’t know what to do, i don’t have any adults to talk to. my dad hates my guts and my mamma not around any more so any help would be appreciated!!!

i learned that my dad was sa’ed when i was a child. and it’s effecting my relationship with him now that i’m 25. would effect the relationship i have with him?

So i am starting college soon and my father is forcing me to go to a college where my previous friends are going and also the guy (these people literally destroyed my mental & physical health) & now im not that close with my father to share all of these things
So pls suggest me what to do in this situation …. How should I convince my father??