I'm so screwed

[u/Nola_Germajun]

New Orleans, Louisiana, USA vicinity (Ama in St Charles parish)

I so greatly detest asking anyone for money, so I'm asking advice first to see if there's anything I haven't thought of. I understand that I'm probably going to have to ask somebody at some point, I just want to keep it at a minimum.

The gist of my story is that my car is dead with a blown engine, I'm in a semi-rural area and I have $300 to my name and no way to finance a vehicle on my own.

I live in an RV park about 15 miles from the NOLA city limits, in an area where the only main road in or out is about 8 miles one way, 14 miles the other from any main business area, with the busiest area being the latter. Easy enough to manage with a car. I bought the car new in 2017, paid it off in 2024, and then because I was out of affordable housing options, I put a title loan (8k) on the car later that year and used the money to buy the RV that I live in. The RV has had a lot of wear & tear since, and now has a major leak that's covered by a tarp. I estimate it's worth about half what I paid for it. (Paid $12k, so it might be worth about $6k now)

I'm 45 F. Not long after that happened, hormones started really kicking my ass. I had a hard time finding and then keeping a job. I did a lot of DoorDash, but it's no longer feasible because the money they offer me now is less than it costs to run their deliveries. I managed to get a job driving a school bus and I really liked it. I switched to Spark (Walmart delivery) and started running those orders in my free time off the bus. Then at the end of last school year, there was an untenable situation in the bus, it was hot, noisy and overcrowded, I could not get the kids to listen after pulling over several times and lost my temper, slammed on the brakes and a parent complained. I was offered the opportunity to resign before they terminated me and took it. Then they informed me I had a 6 month non-compete and can't work for another bus company until November. Figured I'll do Spark until then and make it work.

Last month I went to pick up an order, and within 10 minutes enough rain fell that it flooded every street around me. By the time I realized I was too deep the damage was done. I did what I could to fix it myself with the help of a friend, it took 10 days and it ran for another month. I thought I got lucky. Then 2 days ago it was running normally, no warnings, I heard a "thunk" and it just died. It probably cracked a rod when it flooded, and just finally failed. It's about 135k miles and 9 years old, so no warranty. The comp/collision coverage is thru the title lender only, I only had the minimum liability.

Even if I did have decent credit, a down payment and a job, I wouldn't be able to prove any income for the past 3 months because there's no work over the summer. I used to sell cars, so I know how it works. You need at least 3 of those 4 things, most importantly a job and documented proof of income, and I have none. They also don't like income from gig work.

My landlord is understanding, I'm 2 months behind on rent but she's not going to give me much more time. So now I'm trying to decide whether to spend the last of my funds to rent a car and work 16 hours a day trying to juggle that rental and catch up on bills. The rental would cost about $300/week and I think I can make about $600-800/week before expenses if I work all day everyday.

Or should I just buy a bicycle and take the first job I can get that would probably take 2 hours to commute by bike and bus? The bus is necessary to cross a major bridge that doesn't allow pedestrians.

Then there's the nuclear option: Let them repo the car. Sell the RV, and everything else I own. Go to school for my Class A CDL and go on the road. Try and build back over the next few years. I've been considering it all summer.

The main thing holding me back: I have an 18 year old son who is moderately autistic. His mental maturity is about 12 years old. I still share custody with my high-conflict ex, who probably won't take this well. The more time he spends with his dad, the more spoiled, entitled, selfish, bigoted and thoughtless he becomes. They don't encourage him to do anything for himself, and let him do whatever he wants. There's also a fair chance that he's about to graduate in December. He fought so hard for this, and if I'm low man at a new company I might miss it. And when he's finished school, they'll probably let him stay home playing Legos and Minecraft, and let him get him get morbidly obese. He's already 300+ lbs. And options 2 and 3 would likely mean I'd forfeit any good will to keep the current custody arrangement. They won't keep him from me, but they won't make it easy either. I'd probably go from having him 3 days every weekend to once a month and just visiting when I can.

I can't ask my mom to bail me out, because she's bailed me out so many times before and I still owe her so much money that she's tapped out. Also she's in Virginia now. The only family I have left in this town does not have room for me. I have a sister who lives about an hour away that might, but she's also semi rural so that doesn't solve much and also makes it harder to get my son.

If anybody has any ideas or advice, please share. I'm just at a loss and still processing

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[u/Primary_Gift_8719]

I’m really sorry. This is one of those situations where several things have gone wrong at once, and I can completely understand why it feels as though the only choices left are drastic ones. That said, I’m not convinced you’re quite at the “sell everything and disappear into a truck” stage yet. There are a couple of things in your post that I’d want to question before you make an irreversible decision.

First, the rental car idea worries me. If you’re realistically grossing $600 to $800 a week and the rental alone is $300, you’ve then got fuel, potentially additional insurance, taxes and all the other costs of doing Spark. You could work yourself into the ground for 16 hours a day and still barely move the needle. I’d sit down and work out the net figure very carefully before putting your last $300 into that.

Second, have you actually had the car diagnosed properly yet? You’ve understandably assumed the engine is gone because of the previous flooding and the thunk, but I wouldn’t make decisions worth thousands of dollars until someone has confirmed exactly what failed and what it would cost to repair or replace. “Probably threw a rod” and “definitely needs an $8k engine” are very different situations. I’d also go back through everything connected with the title loan and whatever insurance the lender has on the vehicle. I’m not suggesting it necessarily covers this, because lender placed insurance can be very limited, but after flood damage followed by an engine failure I would want to know exactly what coverage exists before writing the car off or voluntarily allowing a repossession.

And this may be a daft question, but have you independently checked the six month non-compete from the school bus company rather than simply accepting what they told you? Particularly if working for another bus operator could solve a large part of this problem, I would want to see exactly what you signed, what it actually says and whether it really prevents you taking another driving job. Employers sometimes describe restrictions rather more broadly than the paperwork actually supports. I’d also separate the immediate emergency from the long term life decision. Right now the emergency seems to be housing, transport and income for the next few weeks. Going for a Class A CDL might ultimately be a brilliant move, but selling your home and possessions and accepting repossession is a very high price to pay if there’s a less destructive bridge to November.

And please don’t underestimate the significance of being two months behind on the RV lot rent. If your landlord is still communicating with you, I’d prioritise having a very specific conversation with her: “If I pay $X on X date and $Y weekly thereafter, will you let me stay?” Knowing whether you actually have two weeks, six weeks or two months before housing becomes critical changes every other decision.

Finally, on your son, I can see why that is weighing so heavily on you, but I wouldn’t make a financial decision solely on the assumption that taking an over the road job automatically means losing the relationship or current arrangements forever. He’s also 18 now, which makes this rather different from deciding custody arrangements for a young child. His support needs obviously matter enormously, but so does you getting yourself financially stable enough to remain a reliable part of his life.

If it were me, my order would be: **get a proper diagnosis of the car, check the insurance and title loan paperwork, scrutinise that supposed non-compete, establish exactly how much time the landlord will give you, and price out the CDL route without committing to it. **You may still ultimately decide that CDL and starting again is the best route. I just wouldn’t burn down everything you currently have until you know there genuinely isn’t a bridge through the next couple of months. For what it’s worth, asking for advice before asking strangers for money was a sensible instinct. There may be more options here than it feels like there are today.

[u/Nola_Germajun → u/Primary_Gift_8719]

Thank you for the response. The rental car price includes insurance from the rental company. If I add full coverage to my own car to cover it that way, then it reduces by about $75/week. I can't figure fuel because the cheapest option is to let them select a random vehicle, but in my car I was filling up 2-3 times a week, about $40 each time. Taking Uber/Lyft twice a day to/from an established job, for even just a 10 minute ride, would cost the same as or more than a rental car and I wouldn't have the same freedom

I did have the car towed to my mechanic to get checked, hoping it was just the alternator but he confirmed that the engine is done. Even if I were able to YouTube my own way through fixing it myself, a used replacement would be about $2k, and I don't have the necessary tools, and that's just so out of my depth. The non-compete covers the district I worked in and the immediate neighboring districts, so when the travel to work options may be limited to bike and bus, that limits my ability.

As for my son, that is such a complex situation. The relationship with his dad has been so contentious. At this point, he still visits me because that's his routine, not because he wants to. He grumbles when I go to pick him up. Of course he wants to stay where he doesn't have to do anything. He doesn't like going to Mom's because she makes him help her with cooking and laundry and chores. He can't be left at my home alone because he refuses to learn how to call 911, refuses to acknowledge that he's autistic, and the nearest emergency services are so far away, so he has to go with Mom while she works and wait in the cafe if it's too hot to stay in the car.

That's another layer I forgot to mention. I need a job that either works around my time with him, or let's me bring him with me. I have him on weekends because he is working an online public high school program, and his paternal grandmother (who he and his father live with) is his designated learning coach, as required by that program. They aren't terrible people and they take good care of him; they just aren't the best for developing his character and showing him how self-sufficient he can be, and that's something that I actively try to do constantly.

Someone suggested an e-bike, and I'm considering it. I'd still have to deal with heat and weather, but it would be faster than a regular bike. If I find an hourly job and use that to get around, plus take some small & short distance spark orders, maybe I can Uber with my son on just the weekends? That's still $25 each way.

Thanks again for your reply, that's what I was looking for- someone to ask questions that might make me think.

[u/CopperSteve]

Lot of stuff, you need stable transportation so if it was me I would get bike and find any stable job