I’m trying to not be judgemental but I guess it really grinds my gears. I’m all for people having a break. Heck even go have a weekend holiday if you wish if that’s your thing but long holidays especially when kids are like 5 and under feels so odd to me.

This has only come to my attention as I have someone in my personal life who does this. I am kinda in her circle regularly as our kids are cousins but outside of that I would never interact with this woman. I find it very strange. Also notice it online a lot. What gives if this is you and it’s not for a work commitment?

Obviously juggling work and rasing a child is difficult! Obviously parents don't find being a parent "pointless"!

I just mean when I think about having kids and needing to keep working...Sure, there's childcare costs. There's responsibilities that take up time. But I think more of the sadness of it...A child! A parent's world! ...that you spend just a few hours a day with. It sounds so heartbreaking, I can't understand it. ​

I just had my daughter and my eyes have opened to the amount of negativity about girls. My family talks about my 2 almost 3 year old neice is such a negative way. "She has an additute, sassy, diva, drama queen, a monster"

She is young, growing and learning. Her brain has not fully developed. Why can't we phrase these behaviors in a more positive light.

Instead- She is confident, creative, curious, adventurous, full of energy, wild spirit etc.

Then... my family is also under the impression that since I have a daughter she will hate me in the future.

Why all the negativity. I will not allow my daughter to hear any of this when she is older.

Has anyone else experienced this?

My preschooler is happy and social and has good friends since starting his preschool last year. Most kids are of similar backgrounds, but we try to raise him without sugary snacks, screen time, and overall healthy lifestyle choices. Not every one in the class is that way, however recently we met the parents of one of my kid's good friends.

Kid's mom works in the same field as my wife, dad is slightly socially awkward but overall good people who also try to raise their kid in a similar way

Only difference is the kid's parents are new to town and don't have many other adult friends, while we are in our hometown and already have a social circle.

I don't mind making new friends, it's inevitable we'll have to spend time with the parents of our kid's classmates.

What has been getting on my nerves is that the parents always ask us every time we have a weekend or any free afternoon what we're going, what our schedule is, if we want to hang out with them. We went to the park once, we went to an outdoor concert at the park a second time, and recently to a pool since it's been hot.

Their kid has been doing soccer for about a year, but now they're asking us to put our kid in the same soccer club. We mentioned we may want to do something like martial arts, they said the kid isn't that into it but they will also put their kid alongside ours when we tell them when we start going.

The kid's mom now has been texting my wife daily just asking how we are and what our plans are for every upcoming weekend. Sometimes we have plans, other times we're free, but we don't want to hang out with them every single time we don't have any plans, but it seems like they do.

I get it, they don't have a social circle here and found parents with similar parenting styles and ~vibes~ but they're being a bit too aggressive trying to cling to our every move.

I would rather not have their kid do my kid's sport, since every time we've hung out with a purpose (like watching a concert, doing something organized) they get distracted and just play with each other.

TLDR how can I get these clingy parents off our backs without sounding to rude but saying hey look we do like you but we need some space and don't want your kid to do every thing our kid does, especially since it can be distracting sometimes from the purpose of the event

A good friend of mine is getting married next year, my sister is the maid of honor and told me the plans for the hen do are to go abroad for 4 nights. I’m a mum to a 1 year old and a 4 year old, during this initial conversation I replied that I think it’s unlikely I’d be able to attend an abroad hen do but would be there without a doubt if the hen do was in the same country, and asked to be kept in the loop on plans so I could see what might work.

Today I asked about how the plans are coming along and said that (since I recently stopped breastfeeding) I was feeling more positive about making it work for me to go abroad, at least for some of the trip. My sister told me that she’d already told the bride I was 100% not coming, and the bride is shocked and annoyed at me that I wouldn’t prioritize her hen party. On top of this, she then told me that the bride was thinking about asking me to be a bridesmaid and had made me up a bridesmaid invite box (eye roll) but on hearing that I was deliberating about whether I could attend an abroad hen party, pulled the plug on this idea.

I was pretty sad after this conversation but mostly annoyed. Neither my sister of the bride have kids, they don’t “get” it that it would be hard to justify a solo trip on so many levels, and then were so quick to jump on me when I’d said in an initial conversation that I wasn’t sure. Still at this point the hen party is a year away, there hasn’t been any decisions made on a destination or a date.

Am I unreasonable to unsure about if I can attend? At this point, I’m not sure I want to even bother. Thanks for listening

Hello, I'm 21 about to be 22 and I'm basically spiraling over this situation. For context my parents are lesbians. My bio mom had me with my dad and my other mom had my 8yr old brother through a donor. Because of this he basically doesn't have a dad. And as of recent he has consistently brought it up and now has attempted to use it as some sort of talking point. I'm honestly not really sure. I'll ask him to do something basic like hand me the remote or try to give him advice on something and his responses will mainly consist of why. Or sometimes it'll be "you're not my dad". Now this is obvious and i don't care. But he's serious about it and i don't know why he's saying it. Ive brought it up to both my moms. And they're shocked. Like "whaaat, why would he do that" but they have yet to say anything. And this is recent. Before summer none of this was an issue but now i feel like he doesn't respect me.

I'm aware we are siblings and that i don't have "complete jurisdiction" as a parent would but I'm also old enough to be his guardian when our parents are around. I feel kind of paralyzed. Sometimes i will tell him to do something and he questions me which is good, but its over every little thing. Like i told him to stop jumping right next to the sidewalk, when there where cars passing by, his response is why. But I don't yell and i dont like raising my voice. 1 because i just dont do that and 2 I don't want him to fear me. Something that just happened was that he needed help with the TV remote. So i asked if he wanted my help and he said yes, so naturally i go to help. I show him how to do it successfully and i show him which buttons to press as he was pressing the wrong ones. His response is to snatch the remote and say "but mom said you have to press these 2" while pressing the 2 wrong ones. And as i ask him to ask our mother which channel baseball is on. He starts leaving but turns around gets visually upset with me and confronts me with "that's what i was doing". Long story short. He got confused. But he wont let me explain what went wrong in our communication and what gave him the wrong idea. This is a back and forth over a damn TV remote. And its draining. sometimes he will put me in a scenario to explain something to him but instead of listening he gets upset, ignores me and goes on about how his way is right. And its starting to happen everyday. This behavior stretches across multiple scenarios. I would like to be more strict but i don't want him to feel like I'm always right, or that he cant have a cordial conversation with me. But i also don't want to have to explain every. Single. Thing. In detail. There will be scenarios where no matter what i do or say he will not listen. I think I'm rather patient as i don't lose my temper. But even under all of that I'm NOT his dad so am i allowed to be strict? I'm aware that I'm young and naive and probably overthinking it but i don't like the idea that we might be put in a situation where i need to protect him and he wont listen. Its irritating me and as this behavior builds up i don't want to hang out with him. I was pretty depressed for a few years and i ended up isolating and pushing a lot of people away including him. As of recent i started to feel better but i don't want to go back to a stage where i don't want to be around him. I'm lost. Completely. This is something that is very much bothering me. I feel like no matter what decision i make its wrong. This situation is draining. And the more this persists. The less i want to be around him. I don't know what to do. Please. Id appreciate some guidance, no matter how small.

Also for more context. He has to deal with a split home. My parents split when he was 2 he spends 3-4 days out of the week at this house. I don't know if that has anything to do with it though. But they have a solid and communicative relationship. There is 0 toxicity between the 2.

Asking this because my kids had some chicken nuggets and potato waffles for dinner tonight. Most nights I cook one meal for the whole family, but sometimes my husband and I want a takeaway and we order it once the kids are asleep so I just just grab whatever I have in the freezer, cook the food and then give it to my kids because I can't be bothered to make a homemade meal when an 8 year old and 4 year old are the only ones who will eat that meal 🤣🙈

So my parents are pretty traditional, they were both officers in the military, we go to church on Sundays. When I was in middle school, they let me kind of do whatever I want but when I was but for when I started high school the expectation was I was too play football and join civil air patrol. They had the same expectations for my brother so I knew this was coming.

I grew my hair out but had to cut it in regs before the start of the school year and my dad said “finally I was getting cut”. I also attend a private school where dress clothes and ties are required. So basically my weeks are uptight school/football five days a week, Saturday civil air patrol, and Sunday church. I get that I need to get use to having short hair and jobs require a tie but itstill feels so uptight

I remember being a child and when I would drop something like a plate pandemonium would break loose. I was getting shouted at and punished but when they did it they just laughed it off and suddenly it was no big deal.

If I made a mess in my room they packed all my toys in trashbags and put them in the attic for months. If they had a mess in their room they would just „worry about it later“.

If I couldn’t finish my plate I was forced to sit there for hours until I could force feed myself the last piece when they were full it was just thrown away.

When I got sick they got angry at me for being sick and made me feel like it was my fault for doing this and that. If they were sick no big deal.

I didn’t want to go somewhere? I was locked in my room for hours with no access to a bathroom until they came back, even though I was often being left alone at home anyway. When they didn’t want to go somewhere we just didn’t.

And a lot more examples. This behaviour diminished the older I got I was just punished when I was as young as I could remember to 16 and had to teach my parents to have more grace towards my little brother.

I know parents are often stressed but this behaviour makes no sense to me. I know I wasn’t the only one who experienced this, I used to ask other kids in school about this and they affirmed they were being treated the same.

Does anyone have an explanation or maybe even a confirmation that this is uncommon now if it is? I feel like leading by example is important and too many people were just forced into the role of mindless subordinate instead of child with a lot to learn.

I am not a parent but I always wonder if people who studied something like child psychology or human development have more knowledge and prepardness when it comes to parenting? I've heard people say "parenting isn't something you really understand until you just do it" and I'm wondering if this is true or if there are any people who field of word just happened to prepare them more than others.

Would you give them a choice, even?

I’m truly not sure if this is the right subreddit for this kind of thing, I guess I’ll know if it gets deleted or not. I have a lot of ‘lore’/back history i need to provide, but that would make this way too long.

My question is, plain and simply, who’s more ‘obligated’ to maintain a relationship between parent and child? even an adult child. if your immediate answer is “both” i agree btw. 1000%. but who does it fall on more, if it came down to it? the parent, or the child?

I’ve tried maintaining my relationship with my mom. I’ve let go of my dad so idec about him. but i’m done. why am i always trying to call and seek her out? i just had my very first baby 8 months ago and i have no support from her. at all. no calls, no checkups. not even while i was pregnant. Literally every one in my family is pissing me off.

I’ve been thinking about something since my mom’s reaction to what happened with my husband.

Is it possible that a parent could have experienced physical abuse in their marriage and their child never know about it?

For example, could my dad have physically abused my mom at some point when I was growing up, and I genuinely never noticed or knew about it?

I’m wondering because of the way my mom reacted to my situation. She believed 100% that my husband had physically abused me, but instead of telling me to leave or saying that I didn’t deserve it, she told me that “these things happen in marriage” and that I was doing the right thing by covering it up and not making a big deal about it.

I’m not saying my dad actually abused my mom. I honestly have no idea. I’m just wondering if her reaction could come from something she experienced herself that I don’t know about.

turning 17 in about a month and a half. Me and my dad live in a very small rural town, maybe 2 thousand people. My dad has limited my walking space to maybe 1/2 of my town. I'm talking 15 minutes to walk from one boundary to the next. I have 2 stores, 2 gas stations, and a baseball stadium, but I can only go to a singular gas station unless my dad drops me off at the stadium (15 minute walk by the way)

My curfew is 8pm, weekends and weekdays, street lights don't come on around this time. My entire town spans 15x15 streets and I can walk maybe 6x6. Mind you nothing bad ever happens in my town. No history of gangs, violence, crime, anything like that but he claims that I'll be the one to get killed by the cartel even though 12 year olds wander the streets at 12am (???)

Furthermore, I can't go into any of my friends houses until my dad knows the parents, has their numbers, has went inside the home, and knows both of their parents and my friend very well. And funny thing is, ive known my friends for years and talk about them very frequently. Sleepovers are a guaranteed no. no matter what. I can't get into anyone's car even if it's off, broken down, doesnt matter. and if i need a ride i need my dad. my gas station had gotten a theft claim (some guy stole a thing of mayonnaise not even lying) and now I can't even walk into my gas station because he thinks that they'll think I'm stealing and go to jail.

I used to have a phone when I was 15 and it was made by gabb (people who have horrible reputation and make phones for 6 year olds)

My dad controlled all contacts, he has to approve contacts from people, 0 social media no matter what, not even Google or YouTube, and he can read every text that I send or receive. I can't even close my door at night or stay up past 1130 on weekends.

Mind you currently I'm home alone while he's at work until around 6, I have a whole ass job i work 5 days a week. I clean the entire house weekly and heavy upkeep almost daily, clean out his car whenever he asks, clean his room, deal with his messes, dishes bathrooms clothes you name it. Taking care of a gecko and 2 dogs. I'm the only one holding the house up, if it wasn't for me it would go to shambles.

I just need honest input. Am i delusional? is my dad a good amount of strict vs chill?

A friend who recently gave birth was sharing some frustrations she’s been dealing with when it comes to coparenting with her partner. I dealt with similar issues when my husband and I became parents last year. We discussed how important it is to also assess for parenting compatibility when dating. You’re not just choosing your future husband/wife, you’re also choosing your children’s future mother/father. But discussions about having children typically don’t go beyond whether or not you want kids and how many you want. Many people find out after the baby comes that they are not on the same page about many topics regarding actually raising the child. As parents, knowing what you know now, what questions/discussions should be raised when dating to assess compatibility as future parents?

TLDR: My 11-month-old twins (9.5 months adjusted) just started MDO 1 day/week from 9–1. They’re still firmly on 2 naps (9:30 & 2:30), but their classroom has no scheduled nap/rest time and no quiet sleep area. They’re the youngest kids in the class, and the other children don’t nap. Should we unenroll them?

First day drop-off went great, but around 10:30 neither would nap and my daughter became inconsolable. She also wouldn’t eat. They have a history of feeding aversion/poor weight gain, and being overtired makes their already-difficult feeding significantly worse. By 11:45, the teacher asked me to pick them up because they were both struggling.
Now they’re home and neither wants to eat, and I’m questioning whether this program is just not a good fit right now.

I’m especially wondering about the lack of any designated rest/quiet time. I understand they may not actually sleep, but would it be unreasonable to expect some dim lighting/quiet time/white noise so younger kids at least have a chance to rest?

The tricky part is that we’ve already paid the deposit, and we’d also owe the September tuition, with the payment deadline coming up. I’m considering asking if they would let us apply our deposit toward next year instead, but I’m not sure if that’s realistic. I’m a SAHM with health issues and really just felt like I needed at least a little break and time for appointments.

MDO/daycare teachers and parents: what would you do? Would you stick it out and hope they adjust, or reconsider the program until they’re on one nap?

Hey parents, i have a question on when would be the best age to get a child a phone, I know theres a lot of back and fourth of when a child should have a phone but im just wondering and i know theres other devices that parents use like kids smart watches or at home tablets. but for this instance a smart phone for school or when not with parents or trusted guardians.

**thank you all for this very good feedback. I did have another question. How do you as a parent keep track of your kids? like when they have a phone do you use an app or do you just trust that they are going to be where they are supposed to? Parents with teens how much independence do you give them? I understand there are parents that go too far with controlling their kids but I personally had parents that didnt even notice when i was gone for days at a time. so im just trying to find a middle ground here on how other parents do it?

This is something i've sort of wondered aince I've become an adult. When you are younger your parents nurture you and are very loving but as you get older that feeling isnt as strong as you become more independent. Does that feeling always stay there though or does it just kind of go away as they become adults and move out and stuff like that?

hi! i'm an 18 year old father and i have a 3 year old son (lets call him J) who i visit for 5–6 days in a week. his mother (aka my baby mummy) is 22 and lets just say she's a handful. i work as a bartender in a strip club and i also work as a beauty manager in boots (i live in the UK).

recently, me and my baby mummy (lets call her T) got into a very heated argument because cute little J was watching bluey on disney plus, he loves bingo. so it was the episode of bingo going into the cinema with bandit and just being noisy and loud etc and all of a sudden, T snaps at J threatening the poor guy if he ever misbehaved in public and saying that she would beat him black and blue. so, he started crying because he got scared by the way how she was talking. absolutely justifiable, no comment.

i told T that she needs to watch what she's saying to a 3 year old because it was generally not okay with what she said and she started calling me insults like i'm a deadbeat father and he will grow up to be a "disgusting human being like me" (i dont think i can say the actual thing) to which i snapped back by saying, "you're the same woman who slept with a 15 year old (me) at the age of 19, don't act up."

i even explained to her that bingo stops acting up in the cinema because the movie starts to finally play and the last time she acted up was when the thunderstorm scene showed up. i comforted J and calmed him down with some ice cream and let him play with his pet rabbit papa (he wanted to name it after me but he didnt know my name so he called it papa haha). i let him watch some prison break with me whilst T was fuming beside me and talking shit about me to her friends via text to which i ignored.

i pay around £900 for child support and she spends around £800 on designer clothes, bags, shoes, etc and then complains why there isn't enough money for J's needs. T is a spoilt brat who's had everything handed to her on a silver platter (thanks to her own parents) and she doesnt have a job, she relies on MY money and her parents to take care of J so she can go out with her friends and go have dinner with people.

most of my time is strictly dedicated to J, my own family (my parents, siblings, pets, etc), friends and my careers.

(also if anyone gets confused, me and T are not dating, she isnt in a relationship right now but i am)

My 3 years old has been letting our dog, puppy golden retriever sized sleep in the bed with him.

It is calm, never growls and is not annoyed when waken up. When my toddler still slept in his crib, it would sleep in its bed the other side of the room which is ok for us. Now that he sleeps in a proper bed, I'm not sure about letting them sleep in the same room anymore. I've told him if he lets it sleeps in his bed then it won't sleep in the same room anymore, it can only sleeps on its bed.

Any advice is appreciated.

Hi! I was wondering, what makes parenting so overstimulating to the point where parents end up shouting at their kids over minimal things?
Ideally, shouldn’t parents take five minutes to step away and regulate themselves before coming back? I know that’s sometimes easier said than done, but when two people are dysregulated, it only causes the situation to escalate.

i never get it when parents get mad over toddlers showing defiance when that is clearly expected for their age range and it’s just kids being kids.

Like a woman who was grooming a boy for many years from his 16 while she was 25. There was a classic grooming with presents, attention, control and abuse. Groomed the boy into a relationship of living together and later into a family with kids. Can such a woman become a good mother (for kids boy and girls)?