What is a subtle sign that your mental health is starting to slip before you fully realize it consciously?

[u/crackbaby2013]

[u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

I stop listening to music

[u/Express_Amy → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

Very simple things start to feel difficult and overwhelming. Like refilling my vitamins, and/or remembering to take them every day.

[u/Critical_Motor9081 → u/Express_Amy]

Or responding to text messages from people. That one is mine. When I’m feeling burnt out or depressed I just want the world to stop so I can curl up in a hole and have nothing be asked of me. Even something as simple as a text message.

[u/Fun-Obligation-610 → u/Critical_Motor9081]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm 69 and one of my pet peeves is people not responding to my texts. This provides an insight as to what may be the case with some of my friends. I will no longer get myself upset over something like this. I'll just assume they are overwhelmed and give them a break. But if it goes on too long, I'm definitely doing a wellness check. 🤪

[u/CommercialDuck5958 → u/Fun-Obligation-610]

They would most likely appreciate it.

I have had a texts like that a couple of times from good friends, and that's when I really reply, because the guilt of not replying has been there every single day. I know I received the text. I beat myself up every day for not replying. But for some reason, I still don't reply. Some days I try to tell myself, that I was just born at the wrong time - I don't fit into moderne tech and replying every day. On bad days I just tell myself I'm a shitty person, and they're better off without me anyways.

I'm grateful that these comments above made someone see things in a different light. It's such a relief to people like myself, that some people understand. Because some of us do lose friends over this.

[u/johnnyrambo24 → u/CommercialDuck5958]

I just got sick of being always available to everyone at all hours, people get to be to much sometimes, so i decided to live like it was 2002 and only be available on my whim. But turns out you will find out who the real ones are this way. The amount of fat that got trimmed off my social circle is alot. When you realize most of the people you talk to and reach out too wouldnt do the same for you

[u/humanityhasdeclined → u/Critical_Motor9081]

same. i’m on my phone and i am gone for so long socially that i feel embarrassed to reply 3 weeks later 😭

[u/johnnyrambo24 → u/Critical_Motor9081]

Big yup, removed social media apps from my phone and self isolate hard

[u/Therianthropie → u/Express_Amy]

Oh yes, I can clearly tell that when I stop using my pill box and instead take meds and supplements directly from their packaging, I'm not doing good. 

[u/Therianthropie → u/[deleted]]

For me it's the kitchen in general. If everything in it is a mess, it's also spreading to other rooms over time. This results in more expensive and less healthy food, which contributes to even worse mental health. That's why I'm focusing the most on keeping the kitchen in usable condition (I gave up on the idea of having a kitchen that I'm willing to show people, at least for now).

[u/andreaSA89 → u/Express_Amy]

Oh. Oh no. I just realised I’m doing (not doing?) both of these things. I used to religiously fill my weekly pill box with my prescription meds and vitamins and I used to listen to music every day. I haven’t done either in months.

[u/Therianthropie → u/andreaSA89]

Probably a good time starting to do it again, maybe it helps? It's like this for me at least. I stop doing good habits because I feel bad, which makes it worse. Once I realize it and do them again I feel more in control of my life, which makes things better.

[u/seaspraysunshine → u/Express_Amy]

Sometimes I forget that not everyone struggles with these things every single day. I'm at the best point in my life, mental health wise, and it still takes me an hour or two every morning to convince myself that I have enough energy to take my meds. I've been having a lot of realizations lately that my life is very different from the norm due to my mental illnesses, though. Been in the mental health system for a decade, I just turned 20, and I only recently have received a diagnosis for the condition that impacts me most. My seventh mental health diagnosis. I wish I was joking.

Not sure why I'm sharing this, really? I don't have many avenues to talk about this in my day to day, so it's nice having somewhere to talk about it, I think. Hope that's alright.

[u/vSatyriasisv → u/seaspraysunshine]

Thank you for sharing.

On a positive note it sounds like you've discovered it takes you longer to start in the morning. It's hard to stay healthy, though it does get easier, but never easy (in my experience).

What are some of your successful coping mechanisms? Music and distraction (like keeping myself occupied with stuff) are pretty great and grounding techniques help for small episodes.

[u/seaspraysunshine → u/vSatyriasisv]

It can definitely feel scary to share my struggles, but I like to think that if it can possibly make someone else feel less alone, then it's worth it. It's definitely difficult to stay on track when life keeps throwing things at you, but it definitely does get easier, I agree. Keeping momentum going is not as hard as getting the ball rolling in the first place.

One big thing that has helped me get things done (and consequently makes me feel a bit better, too) is breaking things up into smaller pieces so they feel less intimidating. For example, if doing laundry feels way too difficult, I'll get everything ready to do laundry, but I won't push myself further than that unless it feels alright. Usually by the end of it, I'm like "eh, I can load the washer, I've already made it this far." Some days I can't make it further than my "mini goal," but that's okay. It's still progress.

Music / podcasts in the background definitely helps me quite a bit, too. Something to drown out the background noise in my mind to help me focus makes everything a bit easier. I try to match the feeling that is appropriate for the moment (as in, more energetic music in the morning when I'm trying to get going) rather than how I actually feel. That's not a hard rule, though.

I try to take some time every night to just sit and feel/think all of the things I've put aside all day. Not necessarily wallowing in it, or anything, moreso setting a 15 minute timer and not letting myself run from my problems for that time. It helps me not worry as much about things outside of my dedicated "be stressed and upset about everything time." Some days 15 minutes is too long, and I can only do 5. Some days I can't do it at all, and that's fine too. I play it by ear and try not to push too hard.

When I'm feeling really out of it / foggy, I will internally talk myself through everything that's going on, and that also helps me stay grounded. Just thinking to myself "Okay, right now I'm going to go grab some water. I'm going to take a sip, then put it back down on the table," etc. This one is a little more niche, I think, but it helps me nonetheless. It keeps me from getting lost in my head, forgetting what's happening, and doing nothing for an extended period of time.

[u/PeaceNics → u/seaspraysunshine]

Thanks for sharing your tips!

It sounds like you’ve learned some really helpful ways to keep moving forward in your day!

I hope today is a good one for you!

Great username, btw! Makes me smile! 😃

[u/Organic_Razzmatazz50 → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

When I suddenly find myself leaning heavily into podcasts, it usually means my mental health is slipping. Sometimes when I'm doing rough music can just illicit too much emotion. 

[u/T-Bills → u/Organic_Razzmatazz50]

Ha opposite for me... when things get tough and nothing seems to go right I just can't deal with people talking anymore. Give me some 70's and 80's I've listened to a million times.

[u/charnwoodian → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

Hundred percent this.

Happiness isn’t a permanent state of joy or good feeling. Happiness can include being really sad or frustrated or angry.

The difference between happiness and depression is that happiness allows for little moments of joy.

When the sun is shining just right, the music is hitting your soul, you find yourself shaking your head in bliss at the traffic light and it’s just a perfect moment.

When I’m happy, that can happen. Not all the time, but it can.

When I’m borderline depressed, I can’t get there. Maybe I can with weed or alcohol.

When I’m fully depressed, the alcohol can’t even do it. And the weed doesn’t work for long either.

That’s when I know I’ve gotta stop chasing pleasure and start chasing effort. Play less, work harder. Create things. Set minor goals and achieve them. Forget about how it makes you feel and start doing things that have a more rational worth. That’s the only way out.

I’m bad at doing this, but I know it’s the formula.

[u/tyler_john → u/charnwoodian]

"Stop chasing pleasure and start chasing effort" hits. A mantra that has helped me start doing when im stuck in passivity is 'A little work now saves a lot of work later'. (I feel like its not really grammatically correct but its rhythmic and the intended meaning is apparent, to me at least)

[u/Gravel_Roads → u/tyler_john]

I call it “doing future-me a solid”.

[u/ClintMcGlint → u/Gravel_Roads]

“Setting future me up for success” is the way I phrase it

[u/cinemachick → u/tyler_john]

"A stitch in time saves nine"

[u/Cosmo_Seinfeld → u/charnwoodian]

That’s when I know I’ve gotta stop chasing pleasure and start chasing effort. Play less, work harder. Create things. Set minor goals and achieve them. Forget about how it makes you feel and start doing things that have a more rational worth. That’s the only way out.

Wow this gets it.

[u/SpacializedFig_4037 → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

Wow. This is the one I’ve really noticed after (years) of deep work. I also realize it’s when I’m coming back online (when I desire to pop the headphones on).

[u/Fragrant_Bella → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

I started Persistent procrastination.

[u/crashanddust → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

So real ! I would be listening to podcast a lot though. I think it has to do with the fact that I can’t handle emotion anymore and so I’m just shutting down, if that makes sense ? And rather prefer listen to other people telling stories than thinking about my own life.

[u/IBetThisIsTakenToo → u/crashanddust]

Yeah, for me it’s listening to a podcast and also obsessively doing something while listening, like some kind of mindless video game or logic puzzles that don’t require the same part of my brain as listening. Just fully occupy as much of my brain as possible so it can’t dwell on anything

[u/Dismal_Beginning_199 → u/crashanddust]

I actually do this to like music holds so much emotion for me I read into the lyrics and I spiral sometime

[u/vk2786 → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

I stop singing along to music.

[u/vsaund10 → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

This is me, bloody hell. Didn't connect this until now.

[u/errortechx → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

Shifting from energetic to chill/mellow (no not depressing, just relaxing) music is a warning sign for myself. I think it’s my weird way of slowing the world down.

[u/Dismal_Beginning_199 → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

I thought I was the only one

[u/Border_Relative → u/CryptoNaughtDOA]

100% snappp. Funnily, being determined enough to TRY to listen to music when I’m in a rut will equally be the source of salvation - just need to be more comfortable doing it when you can’t help but wander off into your own world

[u/FinanceMuse]

Nitpicking. I notice and fixate on details that are unhelpful and time wasting to pay attention to. It doesn’t lead to anything good.

[u/I_love_pillows → u/FinanceMuse]

Help. I realise I get less forgiving for minor bs. Yet I am numb to big things happening.

[u/petrov_1990_mikhai → u/I_love_pillows]

This is like old people. My dad would get so angry when he misses a train, but no emotions when I told him I'm buying a house.

[u/Bob_slug → u/petrov_1990_mikhai]

Depression is often overlooked in old people

[u/Icy_Gap_9067 → u/FinanceMuse]

It's really good you noticed this about yourself, I suspect an awful lot of people don't see themselves doing it and make the people around them miserable.

[u/arkofjoy]

Making dumb mistakes. I had a young guy working for me. Pretty stoic kind of fellow. But a damm good carpenter who was very methodological and careful.

In the same week he made two dumb mistakes, not huge, cutting the wrong parts of a template.

Next day I asked if he was all right. Turns out that a mentor and secondary father figure in his life that recently had a fall was in much worse shape than I had realised and actually died a few weeks later.

[u/knaecke5 → u/arkofjoy]

Kudos to you that you reacted empathetically instead of angrily. Amazingly emotionally intelligent. Sometimes there is really a good reason for people not being able to function normally...

[u/arkofjoy → u/knaecke5]

Thank you for saying it. He makes a lot less mistakes than me, and I needed him a lot more than he needed me.

So a gentle "R u OK" was far more valuable than a "what the fuck"

And they were really "oopsies"

[u/PretendMajor5283 → u/arkofjoy]

World needs more bosses like you.

[u/arkofjoy → u/PretendMajor5283]

Thank you. I'm a damm good project manager because of things like this.

The corporate types just don't understand how much better people do they work when they know that you have their backs.

[u/Alaskagirl_907]

I don’t want to leave the house, like at all

[u/sirdancedancealot → u/Alaskagirl_907]

It’s okay. At least I’m saving money. Right? Right?

[u/Therianthropie → u/sirdancedancealot]

But there's always that one thing you could buy that will turn everything around and you'll feel good again... For like half a day... 

[u/nix111 → u/Therianthropie]

This is why you don't waste money on stuff but on experiences. Having something in a calendar that you can look forward to has positive effect for mental health (at least for me) like weekend hike, concert, vacation or paintball with friends. Just the change of everday scenery and lifestyle does magic to the mind.

[u/Therianthropie → u/nix111]

For me everything in my calendar is stressful until I'm actually doing it. No clue why, but that's holding me back sometimes. But your point is still right, experiences are often more valuable than stuff.

[u/The_Vampire_Barlow → u/sirdancedancealot]

Not with online shopping you're not!

[u/rusla_1986_krasnov → u/Alaskagirl_907]

Or I want to go back to sleep right after waking up.

[u/GuyFromDeathValley → u/Alaskagirl_907]

I want to leave the house. I want to take a vacation.

But I can't. it feels like too much hassle, too much work and effort to be worth it. Or like I don't deserve it. so I only leave the house for some basics, like running errands or getting groceries.

[u/00rb]

You lose interest in being friendly or hanging out with others 

[u/Harrison_xu → u/00rb]

That one hits hard. It’s not that you don’t care about people, your battery just gets too low to even respond. Taking small steps back helps more than forcing it.

[u/nekrasov_1999_vasia → u/Harrison_xu]

Wow I just realize I low key have depression.

[u/dave8400 → u/nekrasov_1999_vasia]

It's a strange thing to realize for sure, maybe better to find through conversation and not something worse. I hope you can get some help, no one is an island. Especially with how voracious depression can be. I'm rooting for you internet person :)

[u/AccomplishedMeow → u/nekrasov_1999_vasia]

Yeah. It’s not about feeling sad. Hell, most days I feel decent. It’s about literally not being able to get joy out of little things in life. Always feeling exhausted. That one TV show just not hitting as hard as it used to

[u/Slow-Camera-7290 → u/Harrison_xu]

Yeah, and you usually don't even notice it at first. You just keep thinking Ill hang out with them next time, until you realize you've been avoiding everyone for weeks.

[u/-malcolm-tucker → u/Slow-Camera-7290]

Then a few months. Then a couple of years. Then a decade...

[u/ManchurianCandycane → u/-malcolm-tucker]

Approaching 2nd decade here. Not knowing if the social functions in your brain still work.

Everyone else is walking around shaking hands, and even if someone approached you, you realize you have neither hands or arms to accept the handshake.

Btw I loved your human thruster comment!

[u/CheersDog31 → u/Harrison_xu]

Wow I needed to hear that. Thanks stranger.

[u/stockzy → u/00rb]

Yep, isolating

[u/waynizzle2 → u/00rb]

I'm currently in what I like to call , self preservation mode. Everyone gets a disinterested, yeah, okay, sure. Because I'm currently slipping. Dad of two, mom and I both work, my job that I used to love now sucks, and my mom's health is crap. But my dr gave me some clonazepams, and before I quit or put my two weeks notice in, I'm using my Employee Assistant Program. When I start to feel like this, I make changes.

[u/becauseiloveyou → u/00rb]

There's an implicit, "If you're typically social," attached to this.

[u/i2livelife → u/becauseiloveyou]

I think even not social people have a few trusted individuals they feel safe and comfortable with. Isolating completely isn’t normal for our species

[u/sindroid13 → u/00rb]

What if you really don't care about people tho?

[u/SoundIllusions → u/00rb]

I'm currently feeling this hard and it's making me concerned.

[u/punkdrummer22 → u/00rb]

This one saves my mental health. People are too stressful

[u/JenSY542 → u/00rb]

Yes this, and slowly losing interest in hobbies and things that used to make you happy. This was a gradual thing for me, I used to love reading books and then I realised it had been months since I finished one.

[u/Little-Profession538 → u/00rb]

This one hits deep

[u/pokersnek]

First, I will begin to sigh heavily, randomly. I know it’s gotten bad when I start having imaginary arguments with people in my head.

[u/HumanRaccoon_ → u/pokersnek]

I do the same.
Heavy sighs at nothing specific means I’m not in a good place.

[u/whitensilver → u/HumanRaccoon_]

Dang, I’ve been doing this a lot lately. Good to know it’s a sign 👀

[u/Tape_Badger → u/pokersnek]

When one of our kids got a life-changing health issue, this was the thing we noticed most. We had to keep going because of the other kids, so a lot of these other symptoms didn't track for us, as we still had to get out of the house, get dressed, tidy up, maintain basic hygeine etc. But the constant sighing was ridiculous. It was crazy how quickly that went away once she started to get better.

[u/GuyFromDeathValley → u/pokersnek]

I know it’s gotten bad when I start having imaginary arguments with people in my head.

I wish I could count this as a sign, but I've got ADHD so my brain is constantly doing things and having fake, imaginary arguments, even with imaginary people, is practically the default for me.

But I'll have more and more arguments with people in my head, based on things. Like I'll come to work, and already think of arguing with my coworker for me "being late" when I'm not..

[u/AtticusIsOkay → u/pokersnek]

I can always gauge how well I'm doing mentally by how often I get angry over fictional scenarios lmao

[u/YamLow8097 → u/pokersnek]

I also have imaginary arguments and try to stop when I catch it. No reason to get irritated about a conversation that didn’t happen.

[u/Professional_Pace711 → u/pokersnek]

I do this. I also have arguments with people in my head that have already happened. 10, 20 years ago.

[u/SaltyVinChip]

Realized 15 minutes ago I’m up at
1:30am looking at photos of my dead mother, when I need to be awake and feeling good tomorrow to take my baby girl on an outing. So, probably not doing so good.

Less specifically though, I’ve been staying up late at night to clean, making to do lists every day and feeling generally stressed about what’s not getting done, and shrugging off friends and family because spending time with them “isn’t productive”

[u/missMcgillacudy → u/SaltyVinChip]

You don’t need to earn time with your family, you don’t need to earn rest. You deserve and need these things much more than getting one more load of laundry or dishes done. Balance is key

[u/MapleManic → u/SaltyVinChip]

I’m so sorry for your loss

[u/SpecialistCut7101 → u/SaltyVinChip]

Fam, your mom is going to the park with you today. She’s with you always.

When I get in that to do list loop, I make myself do just one thing on the list and it’s allowed to be the easiest thing. And I allow myself to feel accomplished for the one thing.

Also, your friends will come over and help you do stuff, you may just need to direct them. Luckily you have all those lists already :)

[u/JackYaos → u/SaltyVinChip]

I'm so sorry. When I had my own grieving to deal with, going for a night walk and facing my thoughts about it helped. I basically forced myself to think and cry about it and I could sleep better afterwards. It never leave you, but it gets easier.

[u/Rough_Appointment_49]

My thoughts develop a general theme of escape - from something as harmless as planning vacations I'll never take, to thinking about what steps I'd need to take to go off the grid and live out of my car. Wanting to just quit my job and start a whole new career. Wondering what would happen if I just ghosted everyone. Thoughts like this tip me off that my brain ain't acting right.

[u/Androgynouself_420 → u/Rough_Appointment_49]

Yep, my best friend describes me as a flight risk cause immediately I wanna go halfway across the globe during a mental episode. I’ll convince myself I’ll be all zen if I just go to a place I can’t speak the language, don’t know anyone, am completely alone, and have no place to stay. It’s so obvious before and after the episode but during I’m fully convinced it’ll work.

[u/dreadfulgray → u/Rough_Appointment_49]

For me it’s fantasising about getting hit by a bus and having to go to hospital, being admitted to the mental health ward or better yet, committing a crime so I can go to jail.

[u/Heruuna → u/Rough_Appointment_49]

Same here. When I was with my ex, I spent so much money on holidays, long weekends, short getaways for concerts and events. I was fortunate enough to be able to afford it, but each time we had to come back home and return to daily life, I realised I dreaded it more and more. After just getting back from one particular trip I remember standing in our living room, frozen in place, and I looked at my ex and said "I hate it here so much. I don't want to be here anymore." I hated the town we lived in, I hated the gruelling tropical climate, I hated the drama and stress surrounding our lives, and I knew my ex would never make things better.

When I separated from my ex and moved to Melbourne, I found I no longer had that obsessive urge to go on trips, even though I could still afford to if I wanted. I had just been trying to escape from an unhappy life.

[u/doodlegram → u/Rough_Appointment_49]

How do you stop that?

[u/GuyFromDeathValley → u/Rough_Appointment_49]

well. I had this already almost 2 years ago. I have a bunch of google maps folders with vacation destinations I never really intended to visit.

[u/weirdgirloverthere]

Increased anxiety about stuff you normally wouldn’t worry about. Especially in the form of paranoia.

[u/Amy_bo_bamy → u/weirdgirloverthere]

The spirals are so bad

Thank god for level headed friends who put up with my spirals and keep me sane

[u/Welshgirlie2 → u/weirdgirloverthere]

And then you get stuck on the worry loop...

[u/tangyyenta]

I’ll wear the same clothes days in a row. Like all day , even to bed and then the next day. I’ll stop brushing my hair and I’ll only brush my teeth once every other day. Also I start overeating to the point of pain.

[u/daizles → u/tangyyenta]

Yeah, hair is a big indicator for me. Not like oops I overslept, I'll wash it tomorrow. But day after day of dirty hair

[u/Stella_bleu → u/daizles]

The hygiene is a big trigger for me. To keep myself mentally on top of things I need to shower and wash my hair every morning. If I don't I will spiral into self hate and keep going until the depression takes over. I have no idea why the shower is what keeps my mental health on track but after years of battling ADHD Inattentive, depression, and anxiety I learned that was the easiest way to stop the spiral. Things can still go wrong and trigger an episode but I'm clean! At least that's what I tell myself.

I felt this comment on several levels.

[u/Waste-Principle6304 → u/tangyyenta]

This is where I’m at currently down to a tee.

[u/chiasmatic_nucleus]

I want to hermit

[u/tyler_john → u/chiasmatic_nucleus]

The quiet life. Turns out its also lonely and depressing.. but safe.. and sad.. but cozy.. and constricting.. but freeing.. fuckkk its the best worst. Im starting to associate it with shadow work. But i dont think it can really be a part of a healthy social civilized human existence. Maybe intentional retreat is something us hermit types could incorporate ? I tend to feel really energized and mentally adjusted after I go on a road trip (8hrs or more) by myself. 

[u/h0tdawgz → u/tyler_john]

I tend to feel really energized and mentally adjusted after I go on a road trip (8hrs or more) by myself. 

I'm the same after several days alone in my cabin, or tenting in the nearby mountains, soaking up everything mother nature have to offer.

[u/chiasmatic_nucleus → u/h0tdawgz]

My grandfather asked me how I find living alone, before sharing that he did it for a period of time when he was younger and was very happy with his own company.

I guess some people are wired that way

[u/Designer-Dark-1501]

I start getting teary in conversations. I can be talking about the weather and I get tears in my eyes. That’s when I know I’m on the slide.

[u/awooj → u/Designer-Dark-1501]

Yes and this is why I then isolate myself from people who know me well because I don't want to talk about it even on the phone as I know I'll cry, whereas if I need to be social, strangers are much lower stakes and I know I won't feel the need to cry around them.

[u/Natural_Translator_5 → u/Designer-Dark-1501]

This one’s me. They just fall and don’t stop like an eternal rain cloud..

[u/icecreamcumm]

Sleeping more/less than usual. Track that shit.

[u/singletWarrior → u/icecreamcumm]

waking up at 3am?

[u/notoolinthispool → u/singletWarrior]

Oh boy! 3am!

[u/360_face_palm → u/singletWarrior]

can't wake up at 3am if you didn't go to bed yet at 3am!

[u/kangareddit → u/singletWarrior]

Fucking 2:33am…

[u/GuyFromDeathValley → u/icecreamcumm]

my alarm rang at 6AM this morning. I didn't get up until 9:50. meanwhile I stayed up until way too late yesterday evening, practically not doing anything because I just didn't want to sleep, but also had nothing to do or wasn't interested in doing anything.

[u/Haylermoon]

Walking past a mirror and on an organic level feeling like there isn't a human being/mind looking back at me. It's like my own reflection is a good drawing but not a real person. Derealization I guess.

[u/schmeowy → u/Haylermoon]

This one happened to me too! When I go off my meds, and I get an OCD/Anxiety flare... This happens to me! It's awful. You see your reflection and you're brain just doesn't recognise its your face.

[u/lushico → u/schmeowy]

For me it’s looking at my hands like whose hands are these?? I can’t recognize them as mine. It’s such a weird and unsettling feeling

[u/schmeowy → u/lushico]

I know exactly that feeling too! Same thing would happen to me. I'd be reading a book or using my phone and my brain would notice my hands and have a mini freak out and cause me to start to panic. It's like my hands weren't mine and my brain was seeing them and it triggered some kind of danger.

[u/gotbunshunn]

I just want to say that I’m impressed at how much self awareness I see here. Sending you all so much love, peace and ease. 

[u/RadicalBatman → u/[deleted]]

Well shit lol

[u/mskitty14]

I stop almost all non essential communication with people and sleep

[u/JulietAlfa → u/mskitty14]

I have a few friends that I think they believe I ignore them or are too busy for them. Nope. I just don’t talk to anybody for weeks.

[u/WoodpeckerAbject973]

Hopefully this helps someone as it has been a huge help for me in managing my mental health. I have struggled with depression for 20 years and am finally getting out of the hole it creates.

I have created myself a flag system. Yellow, time to be aware and check in with my mental health. Orange, good time to course correct or use opposite action to manage it before it gets worse. And Red, time to to take it seriously and start focusing on getting myself out of the hole.

These are the things that are in each flag category for me.

Yellow - watching true crime, not reaching out to friends, poor diet or not eating enough, spending lots of time on reddit

Orange - not engaging in hobbies as much, engaging in negative self talk, not walking my dog, becoming nitpicky with my partner, Doom scrolling

Red - struggling to shower, struggling to sleep, thoughts of harming myself, zoning out, no energy during the day.

Its been really fascinating to observe the patterns that the depression takes in my life. And creating this flag system has been immensely helpful. Hopefully this system helps someone. Take care everyone.

[u/imwearingredsocks → u/WoodpeckerAbject973]

I have a pretty similar system, but I never put it together in such a clear way like you did. You really mapped it out well.

After years of ups and downs with depression, the descent feels familiar.

Getting angry quickly and often is usually a good yellow flag indicator for me because it happens every time I’m slowly descending. It’s also something I see in many people who likely don’t know they’re depressed.

For me, one of the worst red flags is my anxiety goes away. Not that I’m cured, but I just can’t even muster the energy to worry over anything. The reason it’s the worst is because deep down part of me likes the anesthetic feeling of being free of it. But I learned that the cost of it is not worth everything else.

So legal drugs it is

[u/croc_lobster → u/WoodpeckerAbject973]

The hobbies thing is it for me. "That's funny, I just can't seem to get interested in any game or tv show. Guess I'm just getting tired of-- Uh oh"

[u/SweetandSourCaroline → u/WoodpeckerAbject973]

How do you get out of each system? I really like this approach.

[u/WoodpeckerAbject973 → u/SweetandSourCaroline]

Good question. Yellow is a check in, hey we should pay attention. Asking myself do I feel better after consuming true crime or worse? If its worse, okay lets watch something else for a while. If yellow is paired with a Orange flag that I didnt noticed then its like, okay lets start changing some stuff. No true crime content and lets make sure we are eating and drinking water or going for walks. Often ill get to red because I missed all the yellow and orange, if im I red its like okay, time to step up. Book therapist appointments, use CBT tools, journal ect. Does that help?

[u/AccomplishedJeweler]

I start having nightmares when my stress or anxiety is bad. Or I’ll wake suddenly and disoriented

[u/al-mu-min]

Start avoidance of people. Not finding joy in anything.

[u/A_KitBit]

Being more “inward-facing”, focusing more on your perceived flaws, shortcomings, etc and how that may come across to other people, instead of paying attention to and being curious about other people and things outside of yourself.

[u/Significant-Desk-750]

When you start silently dropping tiny routines you never used to think about, like brushing, tidying, or answering messages, and you tell yourself you’re just “tired” for way too many days in a row.

[u/hj901]

Reckless behaviour. Booking tattoos, online shopping with money I don’t have. Anything to feel a rush. Also, the feeling of wanting to escape. It starts with a craving to ‘get out of the city’ for a hike or a lunch somewhere new, but the craving is never satisfied and spirals into wanting to quit my job, ghost my friends and family and drive into the sunset until someone finds me or something bad happens to me. Preferably the latter, so I don’t have to deal with the consequences.

[u/wuwuwuwdrinkin → u/hj901]

I hear this

[u/Powerful_Handle3401]

Being distracted and deconcentrated, making errors even during easy work. Stop replying to messages, any form of communication becomes a burden. Continual postponement of mundane things, dodging responsibility. Stopping exercise, activity brings less joy. Not eating at all or overeating. Disrupted sleep schedule and biorythm. Creativity vanishes. Being anxious and irritable. Living in a mess because cleaning feels like a tremendous task. Neglecting personal hygiene. Turning to substances, uncontrolled addiction. Life starts to feel overwhelming in general.

[u/Volgrand]

From my experience, when my home becomes a mess. At some low points i did live in a room where literally i could not walk around because everything was littered with clothes and other stuff. At the moment I didn't even feel like trying to clean it up.

That's my flag that something is very wrong with my mental health

[u/muffinass]

Hoping to not wake up every time I go to sleep.

[u/Used-Current1274]

I stay in my bed and sleep off and on for the whole day.

[u/Beezleboobz]

You get more and more tired for no apparent reason

[u/0aie0]

I stop showering. Like I know I should but it's too hard.

[u/Legitimate-Yam5505]

Lost of memory

[u/anqid97]

Getting irritated with everything

[u/Relative_Implement_7]

I start talking about my dead best friend anonymously on the internet as if he was still in my life 

[u/DavinaDeijns_art]

Doomscrolling

[u/bigfourie]

Not able to sleep more than 6 hours (cortisol levels spike you awake).

Slowly starting to not take care of yourself (loss of pride).

Not looking after or cleaning your house (environment).

Small things triggering you constantly.

Close to tears at small emotional triggers in media.

Eating bad food to feel better (all the time)

Slowly distancing yourself from friends.

Pockets of social paranoia popping up in your head.

These cues often happens at the same time, some of them by themselves could just be laziness or bouts of stress but if it becomes a constant, please reach out to friend, family member or professional.

[u/scarlet-begonia]

• Constant distractions, never alone with my thoughts

• Consuming large amounts of true crime and horror content (subconsciously trying to feel something)

• Trying not to draw attention to myself, avoiding eye contact and proximity to people, wearing big sunglasses, generally less approachable

• Less caring, less supportive, less generous, less grateful, less hopeful

• Listening to depressing/angsty music

• Staying up late

• Casually joking about suicide, miming shooting myself when I'm annoyed

• A bad moment = everything in my life is bad

• Excessive eating

• Texting people back/any social interaction feels exponentially harder

• Hobbies aren't worth the effort

• Less hygiene, caring about appearance, keeping up with chores, etc

[u/rackymac → u/scarlet-begonia]

I hadn't thought about the consumption of true crime as an indicator of chasing a feeling, but I am in this phase too. True crime podcasts to distract me from the negativity and sadness in my head and I hate myself for it, it feels so ghoulish.

I relate to all of the others you've listed too, as I sit here in my baggy, oversized clothes with unwashed hair. I think about how easier it would be to not exist, yet logically I know I shouldn't do that. I guess we just keep on living one day at a time, hoping it gets better.

[u/Hei_Lap]

I catch myself wanting to shoplift

[u/Powerful_Handle3401 → u/Hei_Lap]

That's real, I did it almost to an extreme level during my deepest pit of depression. It was like a "comforting hobby" to me, because I already stopped giving a fuck about my life and the consequences of my actions. I was reckless in many other ways, too.

[u/Firewind]

You start getting sick. Weird cough. Muscle soreness. Run down in general. People that are burning out take more sick days before they crash.

[u/cryptochocolatte]

skipping my night time shower because it feels like a hassle. but once i’m in the shower it really helps relaxing my stress, calms and preps my body for sleep

[u/Beezmom143]

No appetite

[u/legend-of-sora]

I stop doing certain hobbies like reading and drawing.

[u/someguyyoumightno]

When basic care/hygiene and accomplishing basic tasks feels like rolling a stone up a mountain 😐

[u/onehandsomedood]

“Checking Out”. I did it today during a work meeting and everyone was like your so quiet today.

[u/I_pooped_my_pants69]

I cry constantly. Like not wailing tears, but I'll just be sitting at a red light and heavy tears will just start silently falling down my face. Happens at work a lot too, it's awkward.

[u/Myrindyl]

My laugh goes away.

I can still recognize that things are funny, I just can't muster up a laugh at all. Not even a giggle. Maybe a 'heh' and a smile but that's it.

I'm currently struggling with this, but usually time and remembering to keep taking my antidepressant eventually fixes it.

[u/spaceprinceps → u/Myrindyl]

Don't forget medication, find a workaround for it if you can't help forgetting. I have a tic disorder that risperidone helps with and when I even get the rhythm wrong (miss half a day) it takes me 2-3 days to get back full coverage again.

[u/wassdfffvgggh]

If you start consistently doing things that you know aren't sustainable but somehow get away with it.

Sooner or later, reality just hits.

[u/KirinG]

Buying junk food outside of my regular weekly treat.

[u/faux_trout]

Noises bother you, irritation goes way up, everything seems too hard, too unattainable.

[u/Tryingtogetback_3925]

I start withdrawing from people around me again. Not responding to messages or calls. Leaving the house less. Listening to music and singing less.

[u/jlittlr]

I start to hate anything and everything

[u/Royal-Past-6520]

Breaking down and crying several times after a difficult week of not only dealing with preventable workplace stress conditions but also seeing horrific current events regarding humans and animals and also seeing people abusing animals for their own amusement. Also seeing heartwarming and positive in all the negative things going on aka elephants saving lives only for people to somehow spin other negative things going on instead of seeing the loving and caring things that are happening in all the negativity.

[u/quillmoss1]

Dishes piling up

[u/PunyCocktus]

I start having a harder and harder time with keeping my routines that usually help and keep me happy.

[u/Visible_Yard_531]

When doing absolutely nothing starts feeling like a full-time job.

[u/Zealousideal-Tie4621]

Drinking less water

[u/DisplayFamiliar5023]

You start taking shitty people's shitty actions as your fault. Then you make yourself small to fit their comfort zone, then you shrink so much that you leave all the goals you were chasing. then you become a shell of yourself.

[u/ashbd182]

To me, I knew when I was at a concert for a band I loved with my husband. I was standing in the pit and I just didn’t care about the performance or even being there. I just did not care. It was definitely a dark time for me. I am medicated now and I am in therapy. OP, I hope you are doing alright.

[u/HenryCrabgrass01]

One of my warning signs that mental health is in the dumpster is my libido goes through the roof. I cant explain why or how, but ive noticed that I get really antsy/feral when everything is scrambled in my head.  When my mental health is running smooth, my libido is comfortable and consistent.

[u/NlGHT_CHEESE → u/HenryCrabgrass01]

I concur. It’s like nothing else feels good comparatively

[u/megayogurtslinger]

Odd pits of anxiety that i can’t brush off, overthinking paired with paranoia specifically around the belief people are against and or out to get me

[u/fivetenfiftyfold]

I stop messaging friends and family when I would otherwise always send little silly things to them that reminded me of them.

[u/Additional_Course965]

Racing thoughts.

[u/Junibear]

I stop wanting to leave the house, I get nervous in public places like the shops, just wanting to leave (not my normal).

Suddenly tiny tasks are neglected. steadily my space becomes disorganised and messy as I don't properly clean up items, put away clothes, vacuum, etc.

When I start brushing my teeth in the shower - or stop brushing entirely - instead of at the sink , and sitting in the shower instead of standing (I keep a brush in the shower as an in case, I've never stopped showering when I'm doing bad, if anything I may use the shower multiple times a day, not really to clean though, just sit there. Having the brush is in eyesight when I'm in there helps me).

Its little things that suddenly feel difficult to do, even just brushing my hair. It gets badly knotted, then I spend a day once I'm feeling a bit better just fixing it.

[u/5minibill5]

I get a breathing issue. For years I thought it was asthma. Turns out it’s anxiety. Feels like I can’t catch a full breath, looks like I’m yawning a lot.

[u/crazyrich]

Increasing irritability and lower patience with my loved ones. When I realize I'm getting grumpy for "no reason" because I'm not compartmentalizing well.

[u/AcceptableAd208]

You start to forget things, fatigued, rather just veg out on the couch, you forget things.

[u/Avengedyoshi]

Surrounding myself with as many screens as possible to stop thinking about anything. Im talking PC on with a game, tablet with a video, phone to scroll...

[u/RealSpookySounds]

I stop cooking for myself

[u/Ald_Nexus]

When basic things start feeling like chores. Answering messages, cleaning your room, getting out of bed, even making food suddenly feels like way more effort than it should.

[u/spit-casually]

i stopped remembering my dreams.

my whole life i have had extremely vivid dreams, and i almost always remember at least part of them very clearly when i wake up. i have dreams from when i was a toddler that in my late 30s i still fully remember.

i recently left a very stressful job that was making me extremely depressed, borderline suicidal. i didn’t realize how badly it was affecting my mental health until i put in my notice. i had three days straight where i woke up remembering my dreams, and it was then that i realized that i hadn’t remembered a single one in the six months leading up to that.

[u/three_pointed_star]

Sleep. Either you start sleeping a lot or you can't sleep.

[u/Welshgirlie2]

Getting anxious about tiny things that are usually of no bother to you.

[u/ItsJess412]

My appetite changes and I'm not hungry. Like, at all. I'll have to force myself to have a protein shake just to get something into my body. My body knows my mental health is suffering long before my brain does.

[u/alexplv]

It depends a lot on what your normal baseline is. If you know what’s normal for you - your mood, interests, sleep, energy, motivation, and how your mind and body usually react to stress - you can compare that baseline with how you’re functioning now.
I’d focus on the overall pattern rather than be any single symptom. Look for changes across several areas that persist over time, and consider whether there’s a recent event or circumstance that could explain them.
Depression isn’t necessarily just “feeling sad”, sometimes the more noticeable change is losing interest, motivation, energy, or the ability to enjoy things you normally would.

PS Ironically, I’m writing from a psych ward :)

[u/MPD1987]

Neglecting your hygiene and/or the cleanliness of your house

[u/Itrytothinklogically]

Preferring to sleep or lay around just a little more often than usual.

[u/Expat_life_2k16]

Cleaning and decluttering, repeatedly. Been doing this again recently and I know something is not right with me.

[u/TransporterAccident_]

I stop flossing. It seems minor, but it’s a substantial alert that I’m slowly not caring for myself.

[u/beetle-babe]

When I start becoming short-tempered.

[u/LowOther5380]

i stop caring about my appearance as much, usually doing my makeup and choosing an outfit brings me joy, but when things are BAD bad it feels like climbing a mountain

[u/SeveerTheHunter]

I start to get butterflies in my stomach for no reason and I know then that my anxiety is about to kick off, not fun.

[u/StumpyJoeShmo]

I start entertaining really large purchases or buying things I don't need that don't fit into my normal spending patterns. Its like my brains way of seeking happiness. I also lose interest in music and hobbies. 

[u/Hi1103hgen]

The amount of time I spend in my bed knowing I have tasks

[u/Covid19-Pro-Max]

Skipping a shower

[u/ReplicatoReplica]

The doom pile of clean laundry is growing.

[u/boysenberry22]

I get heart palpitations that signals I'm having an issue with anxiety again.

[u/missbrightside08]

time anxiety. is that a thing? feeling rushed all the time even if there is no reason to. like always checking the time and feeling like we’re running out of time before the next thing happens.

[u/deadestdaisy]

I stop singing. My time spent on Reddit increases drastically. I get angry when something interrupts me while I'm staring at my phone and disassociating.

[u/djinngerale]

The fact that we're all commenting means we're doing better than we could be.

Let's keep moving forward people, one day at a time.