r/AskReddit 7h ago

What’s a sign that someone is genuinely a good person?

231 Upvotes

184 comments sorted by

585

u/IvyMoonlitGlow 7h ago

How they treat people when there’s nothing to gain from it

94

u/RegisteredJustToSay 4h ago

It's easy and even smart to be kind when it costs you nothing. Good people are good even if it costs them something to remain so.

u/Stargazer__2893 34m ago

I will lightly push back on this because you're right but I still respect it.

There are many people who see kindness and politeness as weakness. Socially elite people don't have to be considerate to others, and being considerate to others is seen by some as a sign you're low class, something you only do because you have to. There is therefore a price to basic courtesy, particularly in cultures where this mentality is dominant, which is most of the world. You may be costing yourself social status by giving a shit how others feel.

So I think even basic courtesy, while less impressive than true altruism and compassion, is still impressive.

u/nicoinwonderland 9m ago

Be kind but don’t be a fool

32

u/nobleglEn9 5h ago

yep. kindness with an audience is just marketing

24

u/EmotionalFood4 7h ago

That’s the real test of character, anyone can be kind when there’s something to gain, but kindness with zero audience or reward says everything.

7

u/_BELEAF_ 5h ago

Zero audience is the way. And that is how you receive something from it also, in my opinion. I've never filmed anything and shared it, let alone tell anyone 95% of the time.

11

u/Imp3riaLL 1h ago

Well honestly just being kind to every one gets you kindness in return so that's why I'm always kind

11

u/palk0n 3h ago

who are you when nobody's watching

2

u/_fex_ 2h ago

A phrase that’s always stuck with me is “you are who you are in the darkness”

3

u/Popular-Sandwich1029 2h ago

whats up with the word “sign” in the title like it’s some kinda secret code or something

u/KatKneelin 54m ago

I showed up late to an Aces basketball game. They were giving away bobbleheads of Coach Becky and I was trying to score one for a girl I was dating. I asked a dozen people if I could buy it off of them. Some tried to charge me $50 (i had 40 cash and wouldn’t budge). i asked a mom with a clear plastic bag had 6 of them. She said, “oh these are gifts for our nieces and nephews back home” and one of her older male relatives overheard and flatly said, “give her mine.” He shook his head at her and handed it to me without accepting my cash. I’ll never forget him. I truly was so thankful and he didn’t make a big deal.

1

u/Reasonable_Banana10 1h ago

Exactly, especially service workers and people who cant help them back

u/CarobSoft8424 18m ago

I dont agree with you. I feel like everyone has something or the other thing that they gain for being a “good person”. They either do it for the feeling of validation of themselves or they gain something out of it

219

u/Glass-Complaint3 7h ago

They remember the little things about you and are always looking to give back to others.

161

u/sandwichcrusader 7h ago

How do they treat people and animals who have absolutely no power or impact on their lives. 

Do they leave situations, spaces, people better off then when they arrived. 

72

u/Ok_Jeweler_8223 7h ago

They can admit when they are wrong without making excuses

126

u/Small-Quantity-528 7h ago

Being humble and helpful for others.

163

u/Sad-Reflection-3351 7h ago

When you get talked over or interrupted in a group setting, they keep eye contact with you and explicitly say, 'Anyway, what were you about to say?' Absolute top-tier humans

14

u/Illustrious_Neck_2 3h ago

yes! or like i'm sorry you were intrupted, what do you have to say and then also make sure the group of people hear your opinion or thought as well. the best ppl ever!!

75

u/AboutHelpTools3 7h ago

Kind to people who have nothing that they want

96

u/nrg117 7h ago

How they live when alone.  People change people.  

17

u/ImpactBetelgeuse 4h ago

This is paradoxical. I would never know how they live alone but if I go and live with them I won't know. I think installing hidden cameras and audio devices would help.

17

u/TheThurmanMerman 3h ago

Schrödinger's roommate.

38

u/JenNtonic 7h ago

They have never ever put a perishable item in the bread section of the grocery store

85

u/BlueHartsBlues 7h ago

They are curious not judgemental

27

u/Whataworldhuh1837 7h ago

Taking hit after hit and still treating others with love and respect. Those people always amaze me because I can feel my soul getting darker and darker every hit I take

52

u/sunshine-warmth 7h ago

Someone isn’t a genuinely good person if they only care about APPEARING like a good person to others without actually doing the work of being one.

50

u/Remi4779 7h ago

They put the shopping cart back when no one is around.

1

u/Known_Moment5558 2h ago

The best test

19

u/PrestigiousMenu3483 7h ago

How they treat animals, cashiers and service workers, how they talk about a person who is not in the room. If they change their behavior depending on who's in front of them.

4

u/Xylorgos 2h ago

Sometimes it's reasonable to change your behavior in order to accommodate children, for example, or someone who would otherwise have trouble participating in the conversation or whatever activity everyone else is participating in.

13

u/Save_Your_Ink 7h ago

How they behave when no one is looking and there’s nothing to gain.

I once read that a good test if you’re a good person is if you return the grocery cart to its stand — there’s nothing for you to gain from doing so, you do it because it’s the right thing to do and makes that employee’s job easier. I thought that was interesting.

67

u/The_Breastfed_CEO 7h ago

Treating the waiter/waitress with respect.

1

u/Save_Your_Ink 7h ago

This is the one

2

u/Professional_Pace711 6h ago

I always do this. My ex husband used to treat waiters awful. Waitresses depended on if he was attracted to them,

u/llama_girl 14m ago

Ew, I'm glad he's an ex!

12

u/Ok_Set_5124 7h ago

They defend people who aren't in the room to defend themselves.

u/KatKneelin 48m ago

YESSS

73

u/RedRedVVine 7h ago

Compassion for animals.

34

u/Deep_Sun8665 7h ago

Bob Barker loved animals. He was.............not a good person.

33

u/PotentialSand3264 7h ago

Hitler loved animals too

6

u/Efficient-Peach-4773 7h ago

He did his dog dirty at the end. Fuck that guy.

6

u/fermat9990 7h ago

This is not mentioned enough. He could have released it from the bunker and it might have survived.

2

u/raffey_goode 2h ago

You can say all the what ifs but he knew what would happen to that dog in Russian hands.

0

u/fermat9990 2h ago

He was testing the cynanide on the dog.

12

u/Bubbagump210 6h ago

I find this one to be a red herring often enough. I know lots of people that have way more compassion for animals than they do for people. If you’re cruel to animals, you’re a psychopath. But simply being overly compassionate towards animals? I’m not so sure

4

u/planet_smasher 4h ago

Yeah, I've noticed that as well. Maybe the people who are assholes to humans but kind to animals enjoy having power over something that just adores them, like a pet.

15

u/mem0723 7h ago

I struggle personally with the animals are better than people or only liking animals crowd

-7

u/Low-Discipline200 7h ago

Perhaps you should attempt to look at it in a more empathetic way. There is probably a reason.

4

u/mem0723 7h ago

There may be definitely! Such is the case for many situations people find people to be “not good people” though. There’s often a reason. This to me fits into all of that. Putting animals above your human community ain’t it to me (especially being disrespectful to your community in favor of your animals)

0

u/Low-Discipline200 6h ago

Fair point. Unfortunately, those people will not care if you have personal issues with it, haha.

4

u/mem0723 6h ago

Oh absolutely not. And I know they’re the minority. To me that just makes it not a great litmus test of being a good person is all.

-3

u/dyslexic_leonidas 6h ago

I think it comes down to who is suffering more.

Take away the anthropocentric view which is ingrained in us, and instead consider all life is equal. If you're viewing it this way, then the worst suffering humans in western societies are much better off than the worst suffering animals. (E.g. nobody has it as bad as a dairy cow in a factory farm).

So its not necessarily that "animals are better than humans". Its that "animals are equal to humans, and are presently facing much more oppression".

1

u/mem0723 6h ago

You raise a good point that there is definitely a difference (to me at least) between donating money to animal welfare services and rescuing 4 pit bulls. I don’t think there’s anything inherently wrong with this, but my experience is I used to work in a dog kennel and generally these were the worst dog owners.

Edit to add that the other major offenders were the tiny dog owners lol

2

u/Adam_Sackler 7h ago

Compassion and empathy for those at our mercy is a pretty reliable sign.

It's easy for people to say they care about animals, but it takes a genuinely good person to go vegan because of it.

-1

u/arostrat 7h ago

The German leader during the 1930s loved animals.

7

u/Midey_n789 7h ago

They are not selfish and genuinely care about others

8

u/kkruuu 7h ago

Willingness to help and to go the the extra mile for other people. Also, you will see it by how they treat animals such as the strays.

9

u/tomchoioh 7h ago

How they speak of you when with others. Conversely, you can tell that by how they speak of others when with you. I usually see that as a good indicator of what this person would be willing to say about me to others.

14

u/sandiercy 7h ago

How they treat others. Like if you go to a restaurant and they berate the staff and make unreasonable demands, then they aren't a good person.

14

u/majestical_kangaroo 7h ago

They don’t have an ego and are down to earth and easy to talk to

2

u/TheSmilingFool 1h ago

Sometimes good people have egos and they put them aside. You can see them visibly do this sometimes. That’s amazing to see. 

13

u/giddeyaboutdort 7h ago

They treat workers with respect, gentleness, and kindness (servers, waiters, etc.)

6

u/ScottTheMonster 7h ago

If they routinely do things that do not benefit themselves. Taking the grocery cart back, waiting for others at crosswalk, donating money without asking for a tax receipt.

7

u/joelinetti 7h ago

“The eyes chico, They never lie!”

5

u/Miserable-Law8774 7h ago

those who help other people without expecting anything in return

4

u/Flaky_PoetHub 7h ago

If you two get along like the Hatfields and McCoys and they still help you out in a bind.

4

u/Dan_453 7h ago

Smth that I noticed while using dating apps is how they talk about their friends is a good indicator

4

u/HawkqueenYOLO 7h ago

Grocery carts. Do they leave it by their car or take 2 min to walk it back or to a drop off?

4

u/KeyImaginary2291 7h ago

When granted one wish, they make it for someone else's happiness.

4

u/nebulous_undefined 4h ago

How they treat people whose ideas and beliefs they do not personally align with

7

u/HeyYouTurd 7h ago

doesn’t need to post every single thing to social media. does good works in their community. doesn’t need the applause of random people. shows their kindness in the goodness they do for others. and is not boastful.

3

u/BammBamm1991 7h ago

Thinks of others automatically.

3

u/nokstar 7h ago

They put the shopping cart back

5

u/starky411 7h ago

Not a lazy bones

3

u/cewumu 7h ago

They want you to succeed even when there’s nothing in it for them but you being happy.

3

u/wisdominwords123 6h ago

Their selflessness.

u/often_drinker 17m ago

I hate to do it: they're. Sorry :(

u/llama_girl 13m ago

Um.... lol

3

u/prettyangelkitty 4h ago

They take goodncare of cat

3

u/SeaWolfQ 2h ago

They don’t speak negatively about anyone behind their backs. 

u/KatKneelin 35m ago

a rule I follow is if I can’t say it directly to their face, then I don’t say it at all

u/KatKneelin 34m ago

I like to imagine that person is in the room with us. would I break their heart if they heard me say it?

3

u/jtrdrew 1h ago

They have every reason to be evil but they choose to be good

7

u/Big_Pie3317 7h ago

The black sheep

2

u/kyleliner 7h ago

Not always

17

u/Phresh-Jive 7h ago

They didn’t vote for a pedophile?

2

u/666SpeedWeedDemon666 7h ago

Idk the non pedophile voters where wanting to go to brunch at the expense of the Palestinians being bombed.

-10

u/mismopeach 7h ago

They don’t turn every single topic into a political rant.

3

u/SecondHandWatch 5h ago

Six word “rant”

3

u/hanumanCT 4h ago

MAGAs are bad people, no matter how hard you deflect, that is a fact. Anyone who lacks the empathy to justify voting for Trump is damn twat.

-2

u/Centumviri 7h ago

BOOM headshot

-5

u/what_me_nah 7h ago

When they don't make their political opinions their entire personality and restrain themselves from elbowing their political opinions into every single thread on reddit.

2

u/Dizzy-Sleep113 7h ago

How they treat customer service staff or street animals when nobody is watching

2

u/theHip 5h ago

I’ve been reading the Odyssey, and one thing I e learned from the Ancient Greek culture is guest hospitality, and how a person treats a vulnerable stranger (so like, the poor or a traveller) goes a long way to describe their character and society.

1

u/askmagoo 3h ago

The Greeks call that philoxenia

2

u/skulop607248 4h ago

they don't deliberately insult people in the disguise of a joke

2

u/Zealousbees 4h ago

They let you merge in an unmergable area.

u/KatKneelin 37m ago

true angels. driving is stressful enough

u/mworld1976 25m ago

It's quite a subtle sign: sometimes people remain anonymous in forums and go extra mile to contribute/help or offer suggestions. This too without showing much emotions. Then they just move on once the person expresses gratitude (sometimes without even acknowledging by responding).

Same way, strangers helping when you really need some help, and then just moving on.

Sometimes, people contributing/donating anonymously.

People do it because they don't want others to face same struggles they might have faced OR they can't see others struggling and feel that they should do whatever they could.

Some of us might find such wonderful persons too dry or emotionless, but for me, it just melts my heart.

u/KatKneelin 22m ago

the nonchalant ones are my favorites. they help and carry on

3

u/Classic-Air-746 7h ago

They are not republicans

3

u/Delicious_Ratio_8648 7h ago

My definition of good person is the ability to speak truth . If one is pointing out my fault and genuinely gives advices than laughing about it. I'll call him or her a good person 

4

u/phil7111 7h ago

They will offer you a water when you are sweating or suffering

2

u/G952 7h ago

They don’t go to reddit and ask questions like this, trying to see if they fit the bill

4

u/im_not_quiet 7h ago

Pets don't lose their minds upon seeing you. It's 100% effective. If my cats don't like you, I politely tell you to go away.

2

u/Appropriate-Shoe9048 7h ago

Speaking gently with eye contact

1

u/oldmdme 7h ago

Wait, isn't that kind of a yellow flag? Not red, but still - gentle speech and direct eye contact usually means they are quite conscious of how they are currently acting.

2

u/abdul_haseeb_11 7h ago

I usually noticed by how they behave with service workers, waiters and strangers etc.

2

u/easy10pins 6h ago

How they treat the wait staff at Sunday after church brunch.

2

u/cheddarben 4h ago

Not maga is a good first step

1

u/Fuzzy-Matter-2120 7h ago

How they treat their parents

4

u/HighLanai 7h ago

True, but highly situational.

1

u/More-Butterscotch457 7h ago

they notice the smallest of the details and are generally emphatic

1

u/Barbzgen 7h ago

Maybe the way they react in a difficult situation. Good people are usually positive and would not judge right away. I guess we would never really know what they are deep inside.

1

u/pacd 7h ago

If they treat animals and people who can’t do something for them with respect.

1

u/East_Alternative_737 7h ago

Love for animals

1

u/cloudy_ft 7h ago

Acknowledging your boundaries and remembering the small things you tell them, showing they really listen.

1

u/hindsight5050 7h ago

They return shopping carts to the corral….

1

u/Wide-Fee-9175 7h ago

Authenticity.

1

u/Rude-Nebula3835 7h ago

They treat others with respect and kindness, especially when no one else is looking. “Good people” are generally not selfish, self-centered or self-serving.

1

u/Artybel 7h ago

Doing something kind for someone when they have no obligation to do so but are able to help. For example, they see an old person struggling to get off a bus they offer to help them.

1

u/Curious_Event5304 6h ago

No se aprovechan ni abusan de los demás, ni siquiera un poco, especialmente cuando estos son más débiles o vulnerables o están en una situación desfavorable. Aunque nunca nadie vaya a enterarse. Simplemente no lo hacen. Para mí esa es la prueba definitiva de que alguien es buena persona.

1

u/fractiousrhubarb 6h ago

They make the people around them feel safe, seen and understood.

1

u/Gladis72 5h ago

They will walk their shopping cart two isles away to return it.

1

u/callmeStephen19 5h ago

How someone treats or responds to an animal is usually a good indicator of other traits.

1

u/Generic_Midwesterner 5h ago

None (or at least very few) of us are 100% good or 100% bad. The whole good people/bad people dichotomy is something I wish would go away. I've had good days, months, and years, and less good ones.

1

u/RoosterShield 5h ago

They're me.

1

u/woh3 4h ago

How they treat animals.

1

u/Illustrious_Neck_2 3h ago

how they react to wild animals. if there's a wild animal is it going to "hang out" near or next to them or are they going to walk or fly away.

i would also say if someone smiles and they smile back or say hello back.

1

u/Yu99999 3h ago

for me I would like to talk with the people who can make others comfortable also who is humble (this principle has kicked out 90% man in my life)

1

u/CULLDOZER 3h ago

When they have done something that was obviously inconvenient for them that benefits someone else and they have nothing to gain from it.

1

u/rach2bach 3h ago

My asshole friend who has dragged me to some amazing parts of the world is a total scumbag.

He also has fed a lot of kids and poor people in all of the countries we have visited. We fed a whole school of kids in India, and every trip he does something like it.

He'd hate that I'd share this about him, lol.

1

u/Joshua9699 2h ago

How they treat people they don’t need anything from. That usually tells you more about someone than how nice they are to people they want to impress.

1

u/FriendshipNeat1077 2h ago

Lots of people think it’s when they make the least amount of mistakes but it’s actually more about their behavior after they make a mistake. There are people that can say all the right things but still not really mean well and there are people that accept being a flawed person but still care

1

u/raforad 2h ago

The thoughts and narratives they choose to believe when they reach success. A person lacking in mindfulness will buy in to stories that overstates their competence while ignoring the role of luck. This is why we see people shift to a "F U, got mine" value system despite coming from humble beginnings

1

u/misch1evous 1h ago

How they act.

1

u/NatePerspective 1h ago

How they act toward a server when the meal is wrong, and nobody important is watching, says alot more than any nice speech does tho

1

u/MistakeSufficient479 1h ago

If animals like them.

1

u/Glittering_Act_8528 1h ago

When they are willing to hold back when winning the argument matters more to the other person (like when the other person is sensitive)

u/swimsparrow 42m ago

how they react to your personal achievements

u/douce-ann 35m ago

I once saw a coworker stay late just to help a new hire finish a project they’d never met

u/fypenei 33m ago

Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, even when you’re angry with them or have nothing to gain from understanding them. I think genuinely good people don’t just ask “How do I feel about this?” — they also think “How might this feel for them?”

u/Gracie-Rose1 22m ago

Helpful without a reason.

u/Halter-Amphibian533 15m ago

I will underscore what many have already mentioned: how you treat others when there is nothing to gain. Especially restaurant servers.

u/Mr_Donair 14m ago

They return their shopping cart to the cart corral rather than leaving it scattered in the parking lot.

u/Ok_Process2568 12m ago

Cómo trata a su madre, con eso explica todo

u/llama_girl 10m ago

They care deeply

u/threats-of-care 8m ago

The best indicator that someone is a good person is that they notice when other people are not and it bothers them.

1

u/M25commuter 7h ago

Taking their trolly/supermarket cart back and not leaving it in the middle of the car park.

1

u/asisz 2h ago

Today our building's guard has to work double shift without meal. He didn't bring lunch as he was running late to work, I gave him lunch, tea, and when I heard he has to double the shift for night I bought him a dinner as well.. felt really bad that someone needs to work 2 shifts of 12hrs without sleep and meal. I did as much as I could and felt good although I'm broke rn ! Lol. Not to brag but i feel I'm good one ig..haha

0

u/dennis3282 7h ago

They are very good looking /s

5

u/StunningPianist4231 7h ago

halo effect has nothing on you

0

u/EndGreyhoundRacing 7h ago

They’re atheist

-6

u/ToughCockroach9290 7h ago

Atheists have no morals,

5

u/pwpig 7h ago

Who lied to you?

0

u/EndGreyhoundRacing 7h ago

Thank you for proving my point.

-2

u/Low-Department8271 7h ago

They don't make hating a politician a huge part of their identity.

5

u/batlord_typhus 7h ago

They don't tolerate the intolerant.

0

u/Poonchild 7h ago

When you find out they did a good thing from a third party, rather than them setting up the camera and lighting to film themselves doing said good thing before posting it on SM.

0

u/Tasty-Bottle3515 7h ago

Don't believe in good people.They make those ?

0

u/Hado0301 7h ago

They donate blood to the local blood bank.

0

u/valenrad85 7h ago

Not me

0

u/Spin_Critic 7h ago

There's no such thing as a selfless act.

u/KatKneelin 44m ago

noo not true :( a complete stranger comforted me after having a panic attack at the denver airport. everyone else ignored me (tbh i preferred that) but she calmed me down, had me repeat affirmations and gave me a hug. to me that is about as selfless as it gets. It costs nothing to offer kindness to your fellow humans

-2

u/Unusual-Line4774 7h ago

They donate money and show it on tiktok to positivly influence others

-1

u/duaempat05 7h ago

yasss