My family and partner are surprised that I'm not miserable being autistic

[u/Meem002]

For context both of my sisters and partner have ADHD and on separate occasions I have brought up to each one that ADHD seems rough to have and they each told "yea but it is nothing compared to autism".

I just looked at them and told them I'm not miserable I'm happy being autistic and they were confused by that.

I know sometimes on here people get frustrated with being autistic but I really do enjoy my autism; to naturally not understand the norms and be 100% myself is truly freeing when I see how much other people have to fit in.

I don't know what is a downside of autism is to be honest at least where I would be miserable.

[u/zer0mata]

autism doesnt = miserable, but the job/housing situations and the social isolation that autistic ppl often get in as a result of autism+society are the problem

[u/Meem002 → u/zer0mata]

I can't exactly relate to job or housing but I don't have much friends but at this point it is by choice. I find talking to people with ADHD is a lot easier than talking to other autistic people, I somehow offend other autistic more easily than I do with people with ADHD.

But I avoid NT they just make me have a headache.

[u/Glum-Echo-4967]

WIth the right supports, any autistic person can thrive.

[u/BrazilianProfessor]

"and be 100% myself". Well, I can't relate. I am myself very rarely. Nowadays is easier, but before the diagnosis I was what people told me what I had to be. I don't understand the norms but try to follow them to the letter. And I have self harm issues when overwhelmed.

But I ain't the "my life sucks because I'm autistic type", though

[u/Meem002 → u/BrazilianProfessor]

Yes before when I was a kid I was struggling due to how much I mask now I don't mask anymore and so much happier

[u/DocClear]

I guess it's fair to say I was miserable because of autism as a kid (not that I knew I had it), but I adapted and got used to it.

[u/Megzasaurusrex → u/DocClear]

Yeah. I was miserable as a kid. But it was because I didn't know why I was different and struggling and everyone was always mad at me and no one wanted to help me no matter how much I begged. Everyone just told me to grow up and figure it out. And now that I know how to accomdate and support myself, things are better. I don't hate myself anymore and sometimes I mourn the years I spent hating myself and thinking I was just a shit person who deserved everything bad that happened. I wish I had loved myself more. I wish I hadn't forced myself to mask and perform feminitity for others. I wish I didn't date or get married and was content on my own sooner. I just had a void I couldn't fill. And now I fill it on my own and wish I had sooner.

[u/zayne0623]

I'm glad you are happy. I love my autism too. I think it's what makes me so creative and passionate about obscure things. I don't love the depression and anxiety, but those are not caused by autism. Mine were caused by not getting the right support as a child and still sometimes as an adult.

[u/Meem002 → u/zayne0623]

Definitely is a source of my creativity as well and my love of learning.

I guess I should have added to the post I'm on Prozac though and that probably is contributing to me being happy lol

[u/papercup_mixmaster]

I hate the anti-vaxxers for spreading this sentiment that autism is somehow The Worst Thing.

[u/MarwanSports]

I think people sometimes assume autism automatically means being unhappy, but that is not true for everyone. If your autism helps you feel comfortable being yourself and you have found ways to work with the difficult parts, that is something worth appreciating. It is also a good reminder that autistic experiences can look completely different from person to person.

[u/Cool_Relative7359]

Im dyed audhd and I wouldn't change my brain for anyone or anything. Not for love or money, as the saying goes.

I genuinely enjoy my inner world, the way my mind works, and how I'm wired. I like myself and my brain.

Some people find that odd, but that's very much a them problem, imo. I'll be here happily adapting my world to me (because it makes more sense to me than tailoring myself to the world) and living my best weirdo life.

I'm definitely glad that part of my "innapropriate emotional responses" is that I genuinely do not care about the opinions others have of me, unless I already like and admire them. Strangers can't evoke more than bemusement in me, even if they're trying to be insulting. Can't imagine spending that much time on someone or something I dislike, there's so much in the world to learn about that I do like and people I do. Thinking about the ones I don't doesn't make sense.

[u/devoid0101]

Im glad you'e not miserable. But many of us have challenging characteristics. Autistic brains and chemistry are significantly different from neurotypical people (NTs). The "Social difficulty" you always hear about is lower priority when compared to:

• 80 - 95% of us have Sensory Overwhelm experiences, over-responsiveness

• 75 - 90% Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)

• 85% of autistics have sleep disruption / Insomnia, altered melatonin and GABA

• 70 - 84% Generalized Anxiety, or frequent anxiety experiences

• 71% Dysautotomia, nervous system dysfunction, elevated sympathetic arousal

• 70 - 90% Digestive / GI issues, microbiome dysbiosis, inflammation

• 60 - 85% Interoception insensitivity / hypersensitivity, sensing of body sensations

• 50 - 80% Dyspraxia (movement dysfunction / uncoordinated)

• 69% Chronic inflammation (and mast cell activation), neuroinflammation

• 30 - 78% co-occurring ADHD aka AuDHD

• 37% - 70% Anhedonia, reduced ability to feel pleasure, co-occurring Depression

• 37 - 69% experience Hyperacusis, pain from sound, decreased sound tolerance

• 40 - 65% (up to 80%) Alexithymia, difficulty feeling our emotions and sensations

• 60% develop complex-PTSD, which can make our characteristics symptomatic

• 52% Autoimmune disease from birth, or are more likely to develop

• 30 - 50% Mitochondrial Dysfunction & Cellular Energy Deficit markers (5% disease)

• 20-51% Hypermobility & Connective Tissue Disorders (& Ehlers-Danlos syndrome)

• 45% Misophonia, anger or anxiety from sound

• 35% Tinnitus / ear ringing / brain ringing - loud sound

• 10 - 30% Epilepsy, often multiple types (45% for profound autism)

• 26.7% of people have “profound” autism with much higher needs assistance

• Emotional dysregulation is a primary characteristic of autism

• Self-harm and suicidal ideation are prevalent with autism

• Autistic lifespan can be 10 - 30 years shorter than NTs

based on 2026 data

[u/Weencent → u/devoid0101]

where did you get this statistic from? link?

[u/devoid0101 → u/Weencent]

I collected this information from the internet because the American medical situation is a joke. I have a side job working with autism science.

[u/MahdevahProject → u/devoid0101]

You forgot comorbid disorders like bipolar, depression and anxiety.

ETA I found the anxiety! Yay! Let's see if I missed anything else. Looks like just the anxiety.

[u/devoid0101 → u/MahdevahProject]

It’s true. I didn’t forget co-morbidities, but I was focusing on the above list of what believe should be considered autism characteristics due to the high % of prevalence.

[u/Meem002 → u/devoid0101]

Crazy to assume I don't deal with these as well and I'm still happy being autistic

[u/Weencent → u/Meem002]

he didn't say he assumed anything he just did a typical info dump

[u/Meem002 → u/Weencent]

He did when they started with "But many of us..." that is an excluding statement separating the person from the group.

[u/devoid0101 → u/Meem002]

…to be clear, the above isn’t my opinion. It’s just data. So, the “many of us “ refers to the high percentages, like 95% of us have sensory overwhelm experiences. No assumption about the OP or anyone. We are not a monolith.

[u/No-Temperature4470]

Dang. I feel this. So glad to read of you loving yourself

[u/Megzasaurusrex]

There are definitely obstacles to being Autistic but I don't think being Autistic is miserable. I think living in a world where everyone is forced to conform to one way of life and thinking is miserable. If we lived in another time without traffic, and music and noise everywhere all the time. We would probably be less overstimulated. If we didn't have to conform to others routines and take on extra stress of useless things like paperwork, we would probably not feel so overwhelmed.

I don't want to be someone else. It sucks having sensory issues and other issues. But it is the world around me that makes those such a big deal. If I'm left alone to do things my way in the quiet, I'm fine. And I enjoy who I am as a person.

Also, I don't see how Autism is worse than ADHD. I don't see my issues as being harder than my friends. She still gets overwhelmed and overstimulated and has meltdowns as well. The only thing I'm sometimes jealous of her with is she can socialize in a way I can't. But I also am ten years older and more burnt out. So who knows by the time she is 40 maybe she will turn into a hermit too. I wasn't this bad at 30.

But idk it would be very upsetting if I had a partner that thought that way. It sounds very weird to tell your partner "at least I'm not you." Basically.

[u/taehonei]

Even other autistics get upset for some reason when you talk about being happy as an autistic person. It's a wide spectrum, so not everyone's experience will be the same. I'm very content with my life while being on the spectrum. It's not an easy journey but if you find the right accommodations then having this disorder does not have to be miserable at all.