Does anyone else struggle with hoarding/duplicate purchasing issues? If so how have you dealt with it?

[u/YagamiLightApologist]

My entire life (19f) I have dealt with severe hoarding issues.

I have stickers and erasers and random junk from all the way since kindergarten that I can’t seem to throw away. When making purchases I often buy 2 or more of the same thing to keep some safe while only one is for actual use. I have an extensive sticker collection that I can’t bring myself to use in hopes of one day finding the “perfect” place to stick them. I buy multiples of the same clothes in the same color and style. Every stuffed animal I own has a double. I collect and save packaging for the set of items I do end up using as well.

I think I’m sort of justifying it because my space is not a mess. In fact my space is very organized and clean and I know where everything is. But it’s starting to be sort of a compulsion I’ve noticed. Whenever the opportunity for a gift or a treat for myself comes up I only want another of something I already own multiple of. I don’t know why but having multiple of the same things brings me a sense of comfort.

My working theory is that this issue stems from my dislike of change. I don’t like new things or experiences so when I find something I like I don’t feel a need to explore other options I just need more of the same item forever.

My space is becoming quite full of just assorted “collections”. I’m wondering if anyone else has this issue and if they know anything that could possibly help. Or just a shared experience. Thank you for reading.

[u/nat_not]

I don't exactly have hoarding issues, but I can relate to what you write (maybe in a less severe way). If I have some product I like, I just want the same over and over again. Especially with hygiene products and food. I've been using the same soap, shampoo and deodorant for yeeeeaaaars. I always snack on the same nut mix and crackers, eat the same soy pudding and buy the same tea and coffee beans. I always use the same kinds of pens (I draw a lot) and when I find clothes that fit well, feel right and look good, I sometimes buy 2-3 of the same shirt, because I hate shopping and am glad to have it sorted. And I also always stock up on my standard brands so that, in case the supermarket doesn't have them, I can still stick with my routine. I often notice that being forced to spontaneously buy a replacement stresses me out and puts me in decision paralysis.

I don't have a solution, but maybe ask yourself, whenever you want another one of what you already have, in how far your behaviour is inconveniencing you or if it is beneficial/functional. Are you spending too much money? Are you running out of space? Can you still move freely and relax in your place? Does having a backup protect you from a realistic negative scenario (for me, decision paralysis at the supermarket is VERY real and common!) or are you merely justifying a compulsion that is actually bad for you? Do you actually use your items or actively engage with them? Are your collections sources of joy for you?

You say that your place is clean and tidy and your stuff brings you comfort. So maybe it's not bad! Maybe you're just measuring yourself by neurotypical standards and are a bit embarassed by doing what you do?

[u/YagamiLightApologist → u/nat_not]

I am not spending much money as the stuff I become attached to is usually small trinkets,stuffed animals and things of the likes. I wouldn’t say I have a lot of room to spare but my space is clean and not crowded at the moment. I do engage with my collection! I have a daily habit of just taking out my collected items and admiring them and putting them back. I find without backups I am unable to use the item at all. I do find I am quite embarrassed as I often get comments about all my collections.

Something I forgot to mention is that I am the oldest sibling of 8 children so growing up the younger ones often got into my stuff and damaged my items and my parents did not replace the stuff they broke or stole. As they are older now this has stoped but I wonder if this has played a role in this behavior of mine as well.

But overall I would not say my behavior has not become harmful yet it’s just not beneficial either. Thank you for your insight !

[u/nat_not → u/YagamiLightApologist]

Your comment about your siblings makes a lot of sense! That might actually be something you may want to work on. Try to realise that you don't *HAVE* to have backups and that you can keep your items safe, even if you only have one, because it belongs to you alone! You're still young, so this might just need some time! You probably haven't lived on your own for more than a few years at most. If there are more family issues to unpack, maybe see a therapist or do some reading on how to set boundaries (I can recommend Nedra Glover Tawwab's books for that).

But to me it actually doesn't sound unhealthy. And if you get joy out of your collection, that *IS* beneficial! A record collection doesn't serve another purpose than giving you joy either, and many people have one. Being a collector isn't a bad thing if you're passionate about it. There are just some things that are more common to collect than others and maybe you're on the uncommon end, but who cares? (I actually always see a lot of Instagram accounts, where people proudly showcase the most eccentric collections imaginable, and it's really cool! Maybe you just need to find other people who collect the same things who appreciate what you do?)

[u/SouthernAbrocoma9891]

I relate. My mother is a hoarder and I learned a way of life that stifles you, takes away your freedom and puts you in debt. The ultimate consumer.

I stopped buying extraneous things. I make a conscious and painful effort to only buy what I absolutely need. My criteria are simple but strict:

• It can’t be a duplicate of something I have. (But but but it’s a different color. Nope.)

• It must support my health. (No, the Squishmallow that makes me happy therefore contributing to my mental health doesnt count.)

• It can’t be problematic eg taking up room, needs maintenance, attractive nuisance (people want to borrow it), etc.

• I must commit to using it often, preferably daily.

• Having it is more economical and reliable than renting the service. (I bought a rechargeable jumpstart with tire pump.)

I do this because I can easily convince myself that what I want is something that I need.

Today, I bought food. I wanted to get a new pair of cross training shoes, but I think I have a pair somewhere in my closet.

The last time I bought extraneous things was 5 months ago.

4 months ago I started selling things, collectibles and hobby supplies. I’m continuing to do that, paying down debt and will be able to move at the end of October. Currently, I’m in Florida and destined for Oregon.

[u/YagamiLightApologist → u/SouthernAbrocoma9891]

I’m not at the point yet where I’m going into debt over these habits but I will keep this in mind. I think it would physically pain me at this point in time to downsize in the form of getting rid of stuff though. I’ll try harder to make an effort to stop purchasing more items though. Thank you for your response!