I’m 6 days postpartum, and I have been feeling this tightness in my chest (feels like something is sitting on the middle of my chest, though not super heavy) while at rest since 3 days postpartum. It usually manifests when I’m laying down flat. I ignored it for 2 days, thinking it might just be my body adjusting back to not being pregnant anymore.

On my 6th day postpartum, I noticed that even when I’m sitting down, I still feel the tightness in my chest. Night came, and I went to lay in bed, on my left side, I feel the tightness again. Only coughing forcefully made it go away, but then it would come back in less than a minute. I sat up, and felt what I thought was just anxiety, but learned it was a sense of impending doom. I started crying uncontrollably, and feeling so scared my children might grow up without a mother.

I was still hesitant to go to the ED because I never take my symptoms seriously. I thought that maybe I was overreacting.

However, since my discharge summary from L&D says to go to ED if I have shortness of breath or chest tightness/pain, plus the answers I get from google, I decided to go in.

The tightness never went away. My d-dimer is elevated, and I was diagnosed with pulmonary embolism. I’m currently sitting here in ED with the same intensity of chest tightness while waiting for my blood thinner shot, thanking God and my gut for listening to my body, and for coming in to get checked. I do have to give myself a shot daily for 3 months, but I’m so so so thankful I got myself checked.

The hospital I’m going to only has a waiting room chair in the room😂, I have a whole bed but there’s no way he’s sleeping upright for two nights in a row. I want him to have as much sleep as possible before the baby comes, and I’m debating him sleeping with me on the hospital bed. What did you do to make things more comfortable for your husband? We have a sleeping bag but the floor of a hospital doesn’t sound very cozy either. Please feel free to drop stuff you think helped too, like long chargers or bringing the switch to pass the time!

I’m 29 weeks along with my first and work in ophthalmology (eye care and diseases), so most of our patients are 65+. This obviously means a lot of unsolicited questions/comments about my pregnancy, most of which are thankfully pretty tame, but I was so grossed out by a patient today!

Old guy, probably late 70s or early 80s, takes a look at me in the waiting room and asks, “Are you gonna breastfeed this baby?” I knew I was 100% walking into a trap but didn’t know what to say, so I just said yes.🙃 Then he goes, “I always say breastfeeding is best, for three reasons. 1, the temperature is always correct. 2, the formula is always correct. And 3, the containers are so cute.” 🤢🤢🤮

Like SIR?? Excuse me?!?! What world are boomers living in that that seems like an appropriate thing to say?? It’s like 3 different layers of problematic and invasive and creepy :P

I basically mumbled something and got away as quick as I could (thank goodness I wasn’t the one getting him ready for the doctor).

Anyway, just feeling icked out and embarrassed now. Also kicking myself for even answering his question. Like he didn’t necessarily seem like a creep to me—just TOTALLY out of touch with what’s okay to say to pregnant people (and probably just women in general, lol). I don’t necessarily want to be mean to people and cause a scene, especially at work, but I do NOT want to have a similar conversation ever again. Maybe next time someone asks something like that I smile and cheerfully say “Oh that’s not something I’m comfortable talking about right now!” Idk, any ideas welcome😂😭

Long rant just venting!!

I am SO frustrated with having to advocate for something as basic as proper blood pressure technique. 😩

I went to my regular OB today and, once again, they took my BP with my arm dangling down at my side, unsupported. It came back 142/89.

I told them, “I want my arm supported.”

They retook it with my arm properly supported, and it was 123/83.

A 19-point difference in systolic pressure simply from changing the position of my arm. And this isn't the first time I've seen this happen. And one even acknowledged that it should be supported. Okay so why does staff continue to not follow strict guidelines when it comes to blood pressure reading?!?!

I've actually tested this at home with TWO different BP machines. With my arm properly supported, I consistently get readings around 121–124/74–80. When I deliberately let my arm hang down like they do at the doctor's office, my BP jumped to 146/101. As soon as I supported my arm again? 124/80.

So why in the world do I have to keep telling medical professionals to support my arm when taking my blood pressure?!

I'm pregnant, so obviously I understand why they're watching my BP closely. But that's exactly WHY I don't understand why the measurement technique isn't being done correctly every single time. You can't accurately assess someone's blood pressure if you're not taking it properly in the first place. And honestly really makes me think how much people are mean misdiagnosed with gestational hypertension due to improper technique.

I'm not trying to manipulate my BP into a lower number. I'm asking for it to be measured correctly.

And honestly, it's exhausting having to advocate for this over and over again. 😒

Support. The. Arm. That's all I'm asking.

Feeling self-conscious and starting to worry a bit after comments my MIL made. I’m 24 weeks along.

I was a very big baby at birth, my MIL knows I weighed almost 10 lbs. My husband and I are both very tall, and I’ve been asking my MIL how much my husband weighed at birth, to try to gauge how big our baby will be.

She couldn’t remember any of her kids’ weights, but kept insisting that none of them were “huge” (while making a face on the word “huge”). When I asked if she could guesstimate, she said “Certainly under nine pounds!!”

Is having a “huge” baby actually bad? My mother never complained about it. I was never fat as a child, and grew up to be very tall. My mother gained a lot of weight while pregnant with me, but was very slim before and after.

I seem to be growing a large bump (I’m still skinny from the front, but when I turn sideways, the bump is big), and now I’m feeling self-conscious about it. MIL is fatphobic in general. How do I combat this?

my mom took me for my 18w ultrasound today and they were able to tell the gender!! i closed my eyes while they took the potty shots and nobody slipped up in the room but when we got to the car and started discussing how everything looked on the ultrasound she kept referring to baby as "she" and then making faces 😭 i could tell she felt so bad but she was so excited as she only has one other granddaughter.. she didn't slip up at all with my son so we thought she'd be good this time but oops! So now i have to keep it a secret from everyone else and act like I don't know until our reveal in late october... wish me luck

37w6 today with my first pregnancy.

The ONLY thing I didn’t want was an induction. My body has not been my own for the last nine months. I just wanted to go into labor on my own. I wanted my baby to tell me he was ready and we’d go from there. I still wanted drugs/epidural/medical intervention. I just wanted my body to tell me when it was time.

But I’m being induced tonight. I did the 24 hour urine test and there was protein present that was just above the range they’re comfortable with so I’ll be going to the hospital tonight. They did a cervical check and I’m completely closed. They explained they’d have to give me meds to soften my cervix before they could even start the induction process. I was warned it’s going to be a long, uncomfortable couple of days.

I know they’re the professionals and they’re doing what is best for my health and the baby. This is just not how I wanted to start the processes. It is the ONE thing I didn’t want.

Before getting pregnant I had zero idea about baby product brands, certificates, safety ratings, etc. I knew people with kids but never paid attention to what they used. It was just a baby product in my eyes.

Now that I’m actually shopping, I’m realizing how easy it is to hit insane prices. Like UPPAbaby system, BabyBjörn bouncer, Ergobaby carrier, certificated crib, nursing chair... it adds up quickly.

Is there a way of knowing whether we’re paying just brand premium or buying the safety and longer term usage? Without having to read a thousand different subreddits.

(I hope this goes without saying but obviously it's just my personal experience, so treat it with a grain of salt)

1. Stop obsessing about giving birth. It more than likely won't go as planned. It's good to know the most basic things about childbirth but the more you obsess about it and the more elaborate birth plans you make, the more likely you're about to freak out if things don't go as planned. And those breathing techniques they tried to make me do at the hospital just pissed me off more than helped.
2. Giving birth fucking sucks, but modern pain relief exists and it will be over really fast, even if you're in labour for 48 hours and push for 4 like me. You've got this.
3. Taking care of a newborn is the hard part. When people say"just you see" they don't exaggerate, they are just being a bit cunty about it. It really is that hard.
4. Everything you'll read about feeding windows and sleep is a lie. Most newborns sleep terribly (with some exceptions of course, maybe this will be yours) and take forever to feed/ eat all the time. Some get over it sooner than others, mine is getting close to sleeping through the night at 4 months, but I've heard of kids who take years to sleep through the night. Night shifts can be exhausting, but they saved us in the first two months.
5. Let go of all expectations! Really! This will make it all easier! Can't breastfeed? Fuck it, use formula and stop overthinking it! I mourned my body, tried so hard to find time for my hobbies, cooking, spending time to get dressed, playing video games, reading, etc, and one day I just accepted that my old life is gone and that's fine. Now I spend all the breaks I get just relaxing. I will have more time to myself later, but right now I instead have a baby who drives me insane and who I love the most in the world.
6. Postpartum rage, anxiety, depression? Ask people for help! Medications, therapy won't help if you're in an impossible situation to handle. People feel bad for a reason. Take all the rest you can get. But be prepared that people who offered to watch your baby will suddenly realize that they don't know how to calm down a crying baby who's not their own. Only me and my husband can calm our baby down, my MIL who offered help before just hands us the baby as soon as he starts crying. Maybe if your mom/MIL if around the baby a lot from help they will be able to help too. Make sure you have at least a second pair of hands in your close family that will be available for help often, not just the first few weeks.
7. Let go of all expectations, again, but about your baby. Just as soon as you think you know handle them they ender the next developmental stage and change the rules. Just go with the flow, don't judge yourself, don't stress about all the changes in behavior.
8. I strongly suggest at least limiting your exposure to social media and baby content. I had to delete mine because I just couldn't deal with all the toxicity parents face and the baby health scares on my feed. It was a really good decision, I've realized how much I don't need it in my life (and don't have much time for it anyway anymore lol). And just take people's advice with a grain of salt. Especially older women go crazy when they see babies, and offer a lot of advice despite usually not remembering right what having a baby was like. Only you know your baby best!
9. Sounds like a lot? It is, but you're also capable of so much more than you think! It will just get time to get used to, lots of tears, but I would never ever go back to my old life if I could. There is a reason why some people have a crazy amount of kids despite it being so difficult. It just gives your life meaning like nothing else does.

How necessary is having an actual crib at first? Would a bassinet/pack n play work fine til the toddler bed stage? I really don’t plan on co-sleeping at all either…but is it worth it to get a whole crib? And if so, is it worth it to get a convertible crib that can transform as they get older? Or do they usually get too janky as time goes on? I don’t really have a budget, I just wonder how necessary a whole crib is.

First baby, can’t decide!

One friend thinks rocking is really useful for getting baby to sleep. Another friend advised armchair as easier to breastfeed if sturdy and longevity in kid’s room.

Would love some more opinions please.

Hey guys, sorry if this is the wrong place to post this! A friend of mine is in her third trimester and I'm going over to her place to hang with her and her husband some time this week. I thought it would be nice to bring a little something along with me when I come over, not looking to go crazy but I'm stopping by the grocery store and a drugstore on the way and I thought I could grab her a little something on the way.

Not looking for a big thing, baby shower is later this month! Just thought it would be nice to bring something and realized I kind of have no idea what that little something would be. What's a little thing that would make your day when you were very pregnant? Like a snack or a little curio or whatever, like I said I have no idea!

Hi everyone, looking for experiences from anyone who had very short long-bone measurements late in pregnancy.

I’m almost 38 weeks and have had normal scans throughout pregnancy, including a normal anatomy scan. We’ve now discovered that baby’s femur length (FL) and humerus length (HL) are both <1st percentile. Everything else is measuring normally and baby’s anatomy looks completely normal.

I saw an MFM specialist today who did a detailed assessment of the skeleton, skull, face and spine and said everything looks anatomically normal apart from the short femurs/humeri. He also went back through my 31-week ultrasound images and thinks the FL/HL were actually already around the 4th percentile then (they had originally been measured much higher, so it seems the tech over-measured?!). I also had a scan at 36 weeks by a different tech, who said the femur was 25th percentile. Again, the MFM specialist suggested this was over-measured.

He said skeletal dysplasia is unlikely and showed us examples of what he would typically expect to see with SD - abnormal bone morphology, skull/face/spine findings, etc. - none of which he sees in our baby. However, because the long bones are so short, he understandably can’t completely rule out something like a mild skeletal dysplasia/achondroplasia (aka dwarfism) until baby is born and examined.

I’m obviously very anxious about the <1st percentile measurements, particularly because both the femur and humerus are affected, and trying not to freak out for the rest of my pregnancy.

Has anyone had a baby whose FL and HL were both extremely short (<1st or <3rd percentile) in the third trimester, but everything else was normal? What was your baby like at birth? Did they turn out to just have shorter limbs? My husband isn’t very tall and was even considered a very small child until he went through puberty (quite late).

38 weeks FTM and I swear my baby tripled in size overnight. And on top of that, this child is ACTIVE. Like sir, there is no room left??? He still somehow manages to forcefully turn his ENTIRE BODY around in there and it genuinely hurts. I don’t understand the physics of it.

I was determined to work until basically the end of pregnancy, but I’ve finally admitted defeat and tomorrow is my last day. I just feel like I need to focus on myself now and take whatever downtime I can get before everything changes.

But I think what’s getting to me the most is having absolutely NO END DATE.

For some reason I convinced myself he’d come a little early. I have contractions every single day. Sometimes I’m like “oh 👀 is this it??” and then… nothing. They just disappear. I’ve also reached the stage where I’m doing basically every stupid thing in the book that supposedly helps get things moving, despite knowing full well that babies do not care about my schedule 😂

And now I have this horrible feeling that this child is actually extremely comfortable and plans on staying in there past his due date. At which point I’m pretty sure I’m going to be begging for an induction.
Physically I am DONE. I can chop a salad and afterwards feel like I’ve completed a triathlon. I’m out of breath constantly, my limbs feel like they weigh 100kg, everything is uncomfortable, and I’m just exhausted. But life obviously doesn’t stop. I still have to walk my very energetic dog, my partner works late in medicine, there’s still stuff to do, etc.

And then there’s the mental side, which I was NOT prepared for. I keep getting these random bouts of anxiety about things that make absolutely no sense. Suddenly my brain is like “what if your partner leaves you?” despite there being literally no reason to think that. Or I’ll become anxious about scenarios that are basically impossible. It’s like my brain has decided that because my body isn’t uncomfortable enough, we should also invent problems for entertainment.
I know I’m incredibly close. I know I’ll be fine. I know technically this could happen any day.

But OH MY GOD I am so over being pregnant.
And then people keep saying “enjoy these last weeks, you’ll miss it!” or “just wait, it gets so much harder once the baby is here!” And maybe they’re right, but right now I genuinely feel like I would rather be exhausted while holding my baby than exhausted while being kicked in the organs from the inside.

Please tell me I’m not the only 38-week pregnant person who has completely run out of patience 😭
Also, STM+ moms: did you actually miss being pregnant once it was over?? And did anyone have contractions for DAYS/WEEKS before labor actually started? Because I need someone to give me hope that these contractions are doing SOMETHING.

Our bedroom is tiny so the only way we can figure out getting baby into our room is to wedge a crib between the wall and my side of the bed. Any recommendations or things to think about for regularly accessing it from an end rather than the side like cribs are designed for?

Currently 9 weeks pregnant and really sad right now. My bf’s dog bit me a couple days ago (and has bitten many people in the past). We got into a huge fight because I told him I don’t feel comfortable with the dog around the baby. Long story short the conversation didn’t go well- he gave me an ultimatum saying if he has to get rid of his dog I have to get rid of mine (which is unfair because mine causes no problems) and I packed a bag and am staying at my brother’s house. We are still on talking terms.

Just need some encouragement, I’m really upset over this. I know how hard his situation is. I couldn’t imagine having to rehome my dog but his solution of keeping the baby separated doesn’t seem like a long term solution. Also if anyone has dealt with managing an aggressive dog with a bite history or has any advice I am open to suggestions!!

Also his brother would definitely take his dog, we’re moving and his brother is his roommate and has a really strong relationship with the dog. It makes sense that the dog stays back with his brother while we move.

Thanks in advance ❤️

Insomnia is kicking my ass…. Did manage to scrounge the last chocolate chip cookies, though.

I'm 28 weeks and having our second baby around Thanksgiving. I labored a long time with our first; ended up on pitocin, finally got the epidural around hour 20-24 unmedicated and ended up on an urgent C-section due to her concerning heart rate (she was also diagnosed with an arrhythmia around 32 weeks so we didn't want to risk anything further).

I honestly had a great C-section recovery. No issues with my incision or pain or anything like that. No real complaints. I focused on gentle abdominal and pelvic floor recovery during my postpartum period. Got pregnant again around 8/9 months postpartum.

I'm looking for some advice on VBACs and any stories (ideally positive) from moms who have gone through this. I'm hoping and praying for a successful VBAC in November.

As far as the Braxton Hicks, my placenta is posterior this time (anterior with first) idk if I'm just feeling them more or if they are just more and more intense this time, but I've been having them since like 20+/- weeks. Some days are worse than others. It's kinda crazy. Provider just said it's normal and to keep track of babies movements, let them know if there's any bleeding or if the contractions don't stop/increase in timing and such. Kinda annoying. I'm well hydrated. Just worried this is going to land me on bed rest or something.

I took my baby out for lunch today and honestly... how is taking one tiny human outside the house this much WORK 😭

The changing table was one of those tiny fold-down ones where you basically have to balance the baby, the diaper, wipes, spare clothes and your phone on this microscopic surface.

Then once you're done, you have nowhere clean to put the dirty diaper while you get the baby dressed.

So I'm standing there holding a naked baby with one hand, trying to pull a clean diaper out of the bag with the other, and I've somehow got the dirty diaper wedged under my elbow 😂

I ended up using an empty shopping bag as a makeshift "everything goes in here" station.

And I just thought  why are baby products so obsessed with making the baby cute and not making the parent's life easier??

What is the thing you absolutely hate dealing with when you're out with your baby?

Not the big obvious stuff. I'm talking about those tiny logistical nightmares that happen every single time!!!

I, 40F, am due to have my first baby in 3 weeks via scheduled C section. I chose this option due to a family history of difficult births, putting moms and babies at risk, not because I think it's easier or will have better recovery FWIW. I'll deal with the recovery part as I come to it, and am prepared for it being painful and challenging.

I'm seeing my OB this week so I'll be asking about the procedure then, but I'd like to hear some first hand accounts of the surgical process, as I am getting nervous about the concept of a major surgery while awake. I know they're done all the time, and I've heard getting the baby out is relatively quick, but I'm concerned about anxiety during the time period where I'm being stitched back up, especially if my husband needs to leave the room with the baby.

EDIT: Thank you so much everybody, for sharing your personal experiences and giving me some info and reassurance! Hope you all have a happy day! 💖

2nd time moms who have had c-sections, what bump-friendly *and scar-friendly\* underwear are you liking?

Hi everyone!! I’m 27 y/o and as the title says, I’m about 7 weeks into my first pregnancy. This week the morning sickness started. It seems to only happen in cars or on planes. This weekend I have an hour drive to a wedding and I am DREADING the sickness of the drive. Any tips to help with nausea during 1st trimester? And any tips from experienced moms to this new mom on what to expect of birth and postpartum and anything else I may need to know?

Thx <3

We’re just starting the newborn phase but it feels so fleeting. Every time I look at her, I get sad at the thought that she won’t stay this little forever.

Is this what being a parent will always feel like 😭

Ugh I’m so sad, I want this to last forever

Our hospital where I’m delivering offers a sibling prep class where they give a tour of L&D, nursery, and some other areas. They also practice showing how the sibling can help with the baby. I want to sign our son up for it (4.5 yrs old) but it’s kind of early in the morning for us on a Saturday. However, it’s only $30. It includes snacks and drinks too. Did you do it with your first born? Was it worth it?