How far did you go? How far did you let the other man go? Was it just the two of you or were there others?

Hey bros, so I’m 42 and relatively recently have started to realize and accept that I’m bi. I’ve never had any experiences with men, and I’m not really sure how to start. I’d love to hear from guys who started to explore their homoerotic desires later than average. How did you go about it? What do you wish you did differently? What has been the best thing about it?

This week, we're talking about finding a guy.

Dating as a bi man can come with its own special blend of excitement, awkwardness, nerves, and "wait... is he flirting with me?"

We get into all of it. 😏

Listen now—and tell us about your experiences finding your guy. 💖💜💙

https://pod.link/6797092436/episode/OTY5OTA4ZTItMmMzOC00YTEzLWFhNTMtZWFiZjc1MjllOWEx

Does anyone else like straddling someone? I love it. Got all smooth today with my epilator, put on some short shorts and walked out to my wife sitting on the couch

Straddled her and started massaging her shoulders, back of neck, head. Started doing lower on her back and my nipple was right by her mouth and she took it in and started grabbing my ass and spreading my cheeks. The whole time im massaging her

Then damn dinner alarm went off for stuff on stove so I was getting up and she saw the big wet spot on my shorts. Promised to to take care of me later

It's only been like 90 minutes and I am throbbing!

Hi there. I am from the southern part of Malaysia. Here to mingle with Aged Bisexual Mens from Malaysia. Drop ur introduction. (At least 40 and above)

So last night me and this guy were talking for like 4 hours right just texting back and forth and I fell asleep leaving him on delivered (it was like 1:30am) and I wake up to being blocked. Genuinely why this is the 2nd time it’s happened and I don’t know why they keep doing this.

​

I posted here a couple of days ago wondering whether there are far more bi/curious, straight-presenting guys around us than we realise.

I got far more responses than I expected, and genuinely found a lot of them useful. Some of your experiences gave me perspectives I hadn't really considered before, some made me look at interactions I've had with other men slightly differently, and a few probably gave me a bit more confidence too. So firstly, thanks to everyone who shared their experiences.

It has also made me wonder whether I'm massively overthinking this whole thing 😂

One thing I noticed, though, is that quite a few of the replies seemed to come from the US or elsewhere, and I'm particularly curious about how this works in the UK — especially London, where I live.

British male culture doesn't exactly make this easy.

There's banter, taking the piss out of each other, joking compliments, guys being unusually friendly, and sometimes a level of familiarity that could either mean “I like you” or simply “mate, I'm British.” 😂

Some of the replies also made me think a bit more about a recent interaction of my own.

I randomly met a guy at the gym after asking him to help me with an exercise. He was immediately really friendly, and there was quite a bit of casual physical contact — touching my arm and that sort of thing — as well as pretty direct, sustained eye contact when we were talking.

We ended up talking again the next day, got on really well, and he suggested that we should train together sometime.

Does any of that actually mean anything? I honestly have no idea 😂 He could just be a very friendly guy and I could be completely overthinking it.

And I think that's exactly what I'm trying to understand.

I'm bi, pretty masculine/straight-presenting and fairly low-key about it. I'm also reasonably confident about how I look, so I don't think my hesitation is really about confidence or fear of rejection. It's more that I genuinely don't know how you distinguish between normal male friendliness and someone subtly testing the waters.

So, particularly for the UK guys here:

If you meet a guy in real life who you assume is straight but you're attracted to him, how do you test the waters without making things awkward if you've completely misread it?

Have you ever done it successfully? Or had another guy do it with you?

What was the thing that made you think, “Hang on… maybe this isn't just banter”?

I'm mainly interested in real-life situations rather than apps — friends, gym, pubs, sports, work, everyday life, whatever.

Maybe British guys have some kind of B-dar and mine just needs a software update. 😂

I love women but I do get triggered when I see them being able to have full curated ear stack piercings, thigh rose tattoos, thongs, skirts, or act a certain way with no backlash like it would with a man. I get serious gender envy and wish I didn't. I'm baked this might not make sense.

They said we should be honest to our partners, but how about this kind of situation? Any recommendations?

Whether the bi character's identify is central to the plot or just part of who they are.

It doesn't have to be a "coming out" story. Just a well-written bi male character in general

Hey everyone!

So, it’s almost Bi Visibility Day (Sept. 23rd) and I’ve been thinking, hoping, dreaming about getting a bunch of us together.

I’m of two minds about this (of course I am!!) because I want something a little wholesome, like a brunch situation... but I also want to take over a bar and maybe dance around a bit.

Those are clearly two different things.

Who says we can’t do both?!

Anyway, I’m trying to gauge interest and see who would actually show up, plus get some ideas and suggestions.

I also started a subreddit called r/BisexualLosAngeles , but I’ll be 100% honest: I’m probably not the guy to run the whole thing. I’m just not online enough to engage with it the way I’d hoped, and without much activity it hasn’t really had a chance to grow.

I’d definitely be open to having a few other people help run it. Maybe we can get it going and turn it into an actually useful resource and community for local bi people.

I’m going to post something re: Bi brunch/bar takeover there too, so hopefully you’ll join and chime in. https://www.reddit.com/r/BisexualLosAngeles/comments/1w2u2f2/bisexual_visibility_day_meetups/

Hope to meet some of you this month and HMU if you have any interest in helping with the subreddit, please!! 🩷💜💙

-B

I came out as gay to some close friends and family a little while ago after identifying as bi. I think it had to do with how I kept hearing that all bi guys are actually just gay in denial, and I read some stories about gay guys that realized during marriage and it messed up their whole life and I was afraid that would be me.

I never cared about girls sexually growing up. Boobs did nothing for me, I didn't even know what a vagina looked like until I was 13 cause I didn't bother looking it up. I never understood why boys wanted to look at playboys in movies. I only wanted to look at guys and gay stuff. And then it hit me: duh I'm gay.

But I had always crushed on girls growing up, I lost my mind over a girl last year. I was even sexually attracted to her, but only her, no other woman did anything for me. I still have that urge to make out with a girl sometimes or ask one out. After coming out as gay, I told myself all my feelings for girls were fake and due to heteronormativity. But now I don't think that's true.

Although I had some euphoria after coming out and not having to hide liking guys, I was kinda sad thinking that the years I was in love with girls were fake.

I asked some gay guys online and in real life and was like "but we've all been attracted to girls sometimes right? We've all lost our mind over one before?" And they were all like "...no. You're bi."

So now I just screwed everything up and I'm even more confused. Also since learning about the bi-cycle, I think I was more in a guys phase and now I am more interested in girls romantically but now the possibility of me being gay and other people knowing will stop me from pursuing something with a girl. I guess I should just stick with guys but sometimes I still feel a pull towards girls idk.

Hey
So I’m In a dilemma I can’t seem to figure out
I’m really attracted to men so that makes me gay but then when it comes to the sex part I don’t know what happens . In theory I do enjoy watching gay porn and everything sexual but I fall short when it comes down to irl . I get weird and anxious and don’t want to do it . The only thought in my mind is to get done with it quick
I’m not understanding this cause I Think my body wants sex but my mind blocks it somehow
Then im romantically attracted to only very few and a niche category of women else I’m just not attracted to them at all and often sexual attraction to women is rare for me

Kinda random, i definitely think it would be cool lol

?

Something I've been thinking about lately, probably because I fit into this category myself.

I live in London, and if you met me in everyday life you'd probably assume I was straight. I'm bi, but most of my mates are straight, I'm pretty masculine and low-key, I go to the gym, I'm into sports, and my sexuality isn't something that defines my personality or the way I present myself.

Living in a city this big has actually made me wonder how many other guys around me are exactly the same.

Guys who are bi, curious, or simply open to something with another guy, but you'd genuinely never know unless they told you. They might date women, have mostly straight male friends, go to the gym, play sports, whatever — sexuality is just one part of them rather than something particularly visible.

And before someone inevitably says "just go on Grindr" — that's not really what I'm talking about. Hookup-focused apps aren't particularly my thing, and I'm less interested in scrolling through profiles than in how guys like this actually recognise each other in everyday life.

As I've got older, I've started wondering whether this group is actually much bigger than we assume. Maybe some never explore it. Maybe some do very discreetly. Maybe others don't even feel the need to put a label on themselves.

For those of you who are bi/curious and similarly low-key about it: have you ever discovered that a guy you assumed was completely straight was actually in the same position?

And perhaps the more interesting question — how did you find out?

I'm looking for people's experiences with the FWB situation.

Firstly about me. I'm a male in 40s and happily married to a straight female. After approx 10 years my wife and I have settled on my bisexuality.

I am interested in understanding the FWB set up and considering if it could be workable in my monogamous relationship.

Looking for feedback/experiences on:

1. Establishing a FWB set up.

What worked, what didn't, in finding a playmate?

I'm guessing bi/gay/straight/curious will create different challenges.

1. Maintaining a FWB relationship.

How did you go about sustaining the relationship? I'm interested in both the "friend" and "benefit" equally.

1. Maintaining your primary relationship.

How did your monogamous relationship evolve (is it still monogamous)? Did certain feelings come up that were unexpected (helpful or not)? Is the primary relationship better/worse for the FWB experience? What surprised you about your partner's reactions to your FWB situation?

I'm happy to hear both good and bad experiences.

I'm not looking for offers, just wanted to get feedback on other people's experiences.

I am in the library on the computer and this beautiful lady walked right past me. As soon as she got past me, I felt some sense of guilt. I normally am into men way more but lately , as I posted before, I am kinda warming up to the idea of being with a woman (I have known I am bi for years before though). I have only been with a few women in my life so I don't have a lot of experience and I get really nervous around the ones I like. I guess I have it in my head that they won't want me once they find out I am bi so I psych myself out of talking to them. I feel like an idiot. Someone tell me it will be ok