I thought as a Top who loves big 🍑🍑; that being disabled was going to hold me back…. but it’s the love ❤️ 💚❤️💙💚🩷💛❤️🩵🧡💙💜🤎🤍🖤 Thank you 🫂✊🏾

i love my beauty marks, i just hate they make my face automatically recognizable 🫩

Saw an author I've been enjoying posts and figured id spread positivity and now I have 2 signed copies ♥️😌 Thanks to Rhayne Coleman I now have physical editions.

TW: false accusations, suicidal ideation, workplace harassment, mentions of Title IX

July 2023. I was extremely excited to start at a small liberal arts PWI. I had done their early college program and earned my associate's degree, so I'd only be spending about 2.5 to 3 years there. I graduated December 2026.

Before I even got to campus, I had a best friend — let's call her E. We'd been close since junior year of high school, knew each other's deepest secrets, were like sisters. We decided months before school started that we were going to be roommates. Everyone told us not to. They were probably right.

E got to campus about two months before me through a program. During that time, she met a girl — let's call her L. They started dating. I was happy for her. They're still together, and I don't have a problem with that. My problem is how they treated me, and the hypocrisy that came later.

L was a mentor figure to E — someone who shouldn't have been dating someone new to the program, even though E was older. It became a whole thing. But that's not really my story to tell.

Here's where it gets personal.

About a month before I moved in for my first year, I got a text from E. At the time, I went by my deadname. She said: "T, are you going insane? She's fucking 17."

I had been talking to someone — let's call her AA — that I met years earlier at a conference. We were friendly, texted every now and then. Nothing sexual. Favorite colors, favorite foods. I had witnesses. My best friend K can vouch for me to this day. AA told me she was 18. Turns out she was about to turn 18 in a couple weeks. I was 18 or 19. Barely a year between us. No power dynamic. We were both incoming freshmen.

But E made it seem like I was some kind of predator. She told me people were talking, that I could get a Title IX, that I might as well not come. I was confused and scared. I apologized, begged to keep the friendship, even though I didn't fully understand what I'd done wrong.

I got to campus. E was acting weird. I think she used the whole situation as an excuse to distance herself from me. She treated me like an annoying little sister, even though she was only a year or two older.

Less than a week into orientation, I hosted a game night. A few Black kids and kids of color at a PWI — I thought I was building community. One girl, let's call her Y, lived down the hall. We were hyping each other up to get ready for a party. She tried on a black bodycon dress. We were all saying things like "I see you" and "you look good." She was laughing, blushing, saying "stop, y'all making me blush." It was all in good fun.

Or so I thought.

A couple days later, I got a message from another girl — let's call her A — on Instagram saying some things I said made her uncomfortable. I apologized immediately. Then she said I also made Y uncomfortable. I apologized again. I said I thought we were all just being playful, but I'd stop. I thought it was handled.

Then I overheard a conversation.

I was coming back from practice, about to heat up noodles in the kitchen. I heard three or four voices talking about me from the stairwell. They said I was "weird," that I said inappropriate things. Then someone said something like, "She would get shot up or cut up for being weird." I heard people using words like "rapist" and "pedophile." I ran back to my room, called my mom, and sobbed.

My mom said: "Keep your head down and study." I know she meant well, but that didn't help.

For the rest of the year, I was isolated. People avoided me at parties. Nobody wanted to talk to me. White people I'd never met would walk away when I tried to introduce myself. I felt like I was being treated like a threat for something I didn't even fully understand.

My roommate — a white Latina who I won't name — made me out to be the angry Black woman. She'd tell people I didn't know how to talk to people, that I was aggressive. All because I set one boundary about having the room to myself after practice. She eventually came up to me drunk, saying she loved me and didn't know what happened to our friendship. I ignored her.

By the end of the year, I was just surviving. Head down. Isolated. Confused.

Then May came. End of the year party. A and Y came up to me, acting friendly, asking me to play with them. I was stunned. I had spent months avoiding them, trying not to cause more drama. And now they wanted to be friends?

That's when I realized — I never got the full story. I was never told what was actually said about me. I just felt the consequences without ever seeing the evidence.

After that, I started my second year. Fall semester. I kept my head down from September to November. Around that time, I ended up in a really abusive long-distance relationship — she wasn't on campus, so I was going through that while also dealing with everything else. I won't talk too much about my ex because she doesn't deserve the time of day. That's a whole other 15-page document. This is about my college experience.

November 2024. I go to a restaurant on campus, just chilling. One of my old acquaintances comes up to me — let's call her S. She was best friends with Y and L, and when E and I stopped being friends, S told me to "just get over it" even though she didn't understand what was going on. I didn't really like her, but whatever.

She came up to say hi, and then — bear with me — in walks A and her partner, let's call her N. N is chill. Never had an issue with her.

A says: "Hey, I'd like to talk to you about our Title IX case."

I'm like... what?

S leaves because I think she sensed the awkwardness. I didn't appreciate A bringing it up in front of someone else instead of pulling me aside, but whatever.

A goes on to say:

"I'm sorry about what happened last year. I didn't mean for it to blow out of proportion. Once I told those two other people about what happened, it became a whole thing. Title IX did contact me to see if I wanted to get a protection order against you. I just ignored it. So did Y. I didn't feel like it was a big deal. I also think I was being dramatic because Y is not used to being flirted with — even though you didn't really flirt with her. It was just fun and games. We were all joking around, saying 'I'd love to see you leave,' which is basically a way to say you have a nice butt. I think I was just being a little dramatic."

Then she said: "People wouldn't dance near you at parties. That's why we were trying to play with you last semester — to show there was no problem between us. And Title IX didn't go through with it, so you don't have a case against you."

I checked later. Nothing was ever filed. I would've known.

Then she dropped this: "I feel like you couldn't be yourself. They were trying to avoid you from the POC safe space on campus."

That's when it all clicked. The isolation. The weird looks. Why people wouldn't talk to me. People thought I had a protection order against me. That was the rumor. And it wasn't even true.

She said: "It kind of ruined your experience. You couldn't really make friends."

By that point, I had changed everything about myself. I started going by T. I came out as non-binary. I revamped my whole wardrobe. I was so depressed and so desperate to not be whoever they made me out to be that I completely rebuilt myself.

And here's what I think really happened: it was my masculinity. And my looks. Baby Butch phase is rough. I was a hot mess. But once I got locs and a new style? It was over for everybody. Nobody ever made a rumor about me again — unless they wanted me.

So A apologizes. I apologize. We shake hands. Cool, right?

But then she says — and I still don't know why she told me this — she says: "I don't know why I'm saying this, but I think I have a crush on you. You're kinda my type now."

I looked at her like... girl, are you crazy? You and I almost got a protection order against me. You helped ruin my reputation. People thought I was a predator because of y'all. And now you wanna date me? That's insane.

That's when I realized: it was never really about what I said. It was about who I was — and who they decided I was going to be.

So that happens. I head back to my dorm and I'm just kind of shocked. In pain. Like, how dare that girl think she can almost ruin my life one year and then try to have access to me the next?

Over the next couple years, she'd try to talk to me. Say hi. Smile. Every time I passed by, she'd act like I was so cute and she wanted me. It was weird. You tried to ruin my life.

Anyway, I kinda heal from that. But the worst part comes next.

I had been working with an organization — I won't name it because I like the leader and don't wanna put any negative attention on them. It's a great organization. All you need to know is I worked with children. I had a couple coworkers, let's call them V and M, who I had been working with for about a year. I had told them some of what happened to me — probably thinking I had a safe space, which I did not.

I never got a bad vibe from them. Sometimes they'd confide in me, and I'd think of myself as their big sister. I know, big mistake. I even told them how bad that rumor was, how it hurt me, how my mom had to talk me out of going insane, how I had to go to therapy to stop myself from considering suicide. They looked sympathetic. Said they were sorry.

Then my senior year comes.

I had been working with V and M for a year now. It gets a little fuzzy because I don't even know how it all went down — it was crazy.

During a bake sale meeting, something happened. I was leading the meeting, and I said, "Let's end the meeting for now since not everybody's here. We'll wait till everybody's here to say their piece." But one girl — not V or M — followed me, clearly upset, saying I needed to talk to her. I called my supervisor and said, "Something's going on. I don't have time for this right now. I have my senior project." And I left.

Then I get a text from my supervisor: "Do you know anything about a Title IX involving a minor?"

I said, "There was that rumor from a couple years ago, but me and those people are chill now. They wave at me. I don't think it's that. I don't have a Title IX."

She contacts higher-ups. Turns out V and M had told my supervisor that they didn't think I should be working with kids because of a "Title IX involving a minor." There was even a name of a minor included — someone I had never heard of. I was so confused. My supervisor was confused. She had heard about the original rumor as it happened and knew it was false.

She was actually on my side because she had a sibling who went through something similar — non-binary, masculine presenting — people would come for them for no reason.

Now here's the kicker.

During the bake sale, I had made one comment. M mentioned her girlfriend, and I said something like, "Oh I didn't know that, that's cool, good vibes." Then she asked, "Would you holler at her if she was single?" and I said, "Yeah, she's gorgeous." Then she asked for a picture of my girlfriend at the time, and said "Oh she's hot."

I take responsibility — maybe I shouldn't have said that in a work environment. I'll own that.

But what happened next was uncalled for.

The next week, before everything blew up, M was dabbing me up, acting like we were cool. Then two weeks later, her and V tell my supervisor I shouldn't work with kids, that I made her uncomfortable, and that I made "sexual advances" toward M's girlfriend.

Mind you — I had a girlfriend at the time. Why would I do that?

Funny thing is, M used to say things like, "You're the better masculine lesbian. You're hotter than me. You're the better stud." She'd ask me for binder recommendations. She'd flirt with me. She was insecure about her own masculinity — always comparing herself to me. I think she thought her girlfriend would want me instead. I never said that, but that's the energy I got.

So my supervisor told me to go to her supervisor. And even they were like, "Why didn't they just talk to each other like adults? What is going on?"

I think M was just... I don't know. Insecure. Jealous. Mentally unwell. I honestly don't know why you work with someone for a year, act cool, and then suddenly try to ruin their career.

All of that happened, and I got temporarily fired — with pay. All three of us were fired with pay until further notice. Then V and M resigned. And I came back to my position. They told me, "Just don't share any personal stuff anymore. Just be here for work. You're good. We're on your side."

Even my other coworkers said it was bullshit and jealousy.

And the whole time this was happening, M was liking my Instagram stories — especially ones hinting at how I felt as a Black masculine person dealing with rumors — and then she unfollowed me. Like... what?

Mind you, I was doing my senior project. An 80-page project every senior has to do. And I'm supposed to just be okay with all this fuckass shit happening at the same time?

So all in all, it was a terrible time. I felt so unsafe. So isolated.

When I went to Title IX to get a rumor-mongering case against them? Nothing happened. They said "free speech." I was like... what if I had killed myself? What if that was the end?

But I'm a thug. I persevered.

I'm not posting this for advice. I just needed to tell my story somewhere people might actually believe me.

If you've been through something similar — especially if you're Black, masc-presenting, non-binary, or just someone who got turned into a villain by a rumor you never got to defend yourself against — I see you. We're not crazy. This really happened.

And if you were there and you know exactly who I'm talking about? You know.

Hey everyone I’m looking for some advice. I’m interested in finding a good girlfriend and eventually having a serious relationship

What advice would you give someone who wants to meet a good woman and build a healthy relationship Where should I meet people, and what are some things I should work on about myself first

Any honest advice or personal experiences would be appreciated

The first photo was taken October 8, 2023, about nine months before I started HRT. I was wearing a wig and considerably more makeup.

The second photo was taken August 30, 2026:

- 26 months on HRT

- No filter

- Less makeup than the first photo

- Only two rounds of facial laser

- 14-inch loc extensions

- Similar body weight

- Same favorite Champion top

I started HRT on July 1, 2024, one month before turning 20. I had already gone through male puberty and grown facial hair before transitioning.

I also recently finished four years of active-duty military service. Looking back at the first picture, I remember how hard I was trying to construct femininity through makeup and a wig. Now I can wear less makeup, look directly into an unfiltered camera, and recognize myself so much more easily.

I genuinely did not realize how dramatic the difference was until I found these pictures wearing the exact same shirt.

Hey ya'll!!! I'm Log not my actual nickname but let's go with it I guess. And I'm asking for advice. So brief breakdown I'm bisexual and genderfluid*. I say genderfluid but I've been tossing around if I'm actually that or trans for years now. Like since I was 16 and started deconstructing and found out my sexuality and gender identity. But I still very much look like a man and I want to change that. And I figured I should go to people that actually understand what I'm going through a bit.

So my first question is, is this normal? To be this indecisive and uncertain. I don't normally struggle with this kind of thing. I'm the kind of person to just pull the trigger and plan around the consequences later. So is it strange that I still haven't figured this out yet?

Second what advice would you give for looking more feminine. I'm already growing out my hair but what else can I do? What worked for you? And more importantly WHAT DIDN'T? A lot of wise people taught me that there is much more to be learned from mistakes than triumphs. And until I can afford hrt. How can I look the part without it?

Third, I guess this one isn't really black specific but what are side effects of hrt both physical and mental? I'm 18 so does my age have anything to do with it? Does my race (specifically body because my family has lots of health issues that run it. Especially blood pressure on both sides.) mean anything will effect me differently? I only ask because I can't get a straight answer online. And also I want to be a thousand percent sure that if or when I go through with this I know it's worth the risk.

Fourth and final one. This one is the hardest one. At least for me. How do I get my mom to believe me? I told her before she said I was "changing everything about myself for other people" which yes. Sometimes I did that. I'm autistic and it's masking. Just a really heavy version of it. But I genuinely want to do this. To be clear my Mom is NOT a terf. And she is NOT a homphobe. I think it's more of a she just thinks it's a phase. I mean she is a teacher she sees this all the time.

So NSFW, but last night I had a session that was both hot and re-invigorating, and although i told my besties, I just wanted to share it here. would not trade dating/hooking up with my fellow black men for the world. ♥️💙💚

I’m bisexual and I’ve never lied about my sexuality to romantic partners. But I’ve always kept it to myself in the workspace… but recently I’ve had a lot of interactions where people would suspect I’m queer either because I don’t talk about my romantic life or because they might notice a feminine mannerism or taste in music. And it invites a lot of hostility from coworkers, especially female coworkers, who think I’m being nefarious and hiding something from them. I notice a lot of people don’t think I perform masculinity enough in a way they deem “respectable” but I also don’t perform queerness in a way that’s blatantly obvious enough for them to put me in a box, and it seems to really annoy people.
So I’ve decided to be more open about it, because I figured if it’s out in the open no one would have an issue or weaponize it against me. I’ve had male coworkers kinda distance themselves from me (which I’m kinda okay with); but the women would want to be my friends, and tell me all their personal business, asks me their opinions about other men, try to use me as their personal “gaydar” for other male coworkers they suspect, and just treat me like their little accessory.
When I enforce boundaries and I don’t want to play that role, they seem really annoyed about it, and then start making digs at me. And I don’t want to make it as if only Black women do this to me, especially as a black man. But I notice they do this to me the most, and they even invite other non black people to hyper analyze me or treat me weird when I distance myself from them.
I also would have women cough and say “fag” or “he’s gay” when I had a positive interaction with female customers, whom I’m not even flirting with. One in particular is really triggered that I don’t want to talk to her about her sex life/romantic life. And she started accusing me of being jealous that she can get some and she can’t. I literally just want to do my job and go home. I don’t think I should be the dumping ground for all these women’s emotional problems just because I also like men. I’d highkey rather work with the men, even if they’re a little homophobic, there’s peace in the separation they make with me. It seems like the women want to bully me into being “one of the girls” for their entertainment…

My 20’s have been beautiful, unfortunately I haven’t built much companionship and community from the connections I’ve had. It would be such a treat to meet just one other person with an appetite for the collective liberation of all humans. I would like to connect with you if you’re politically conscious, have capacity for meaningful conversations and building an intimate connection. There is no rush for any of this to happen immediately and it can lead to a platonic or romantic relationship.

I crave and would like to share and learn reciprocity from a deep place. The lovely friends and acquaintances I have in my life right now have already filled these roles in their lives through close relationships with their family, childhood friends or partners.

So I’m playing relational catch-up. . .

A little about me: Pronouns- SheHer; I’m 1.7 ; 20% of the time I host friends, enjoy a night out and go to book club or the gym ; 70% - I’m a recluse in bed ruminating; 10% - trying to stay alive. I love animals and floating in the ocean.

I hope that we’re all seen with clear eyes at least once in our lives ❤️

Bye

I (18F) cannot bring myself to take my clothes off in front of another person to engage in sex. Even when I had to change for gym in school, I’ve always been shy about my body. How do you work up the courage to let someone see you naked?

I understand when you have sex, your mind is in a different place, but how do you not get self conscious about your body? I’m not necessarily insecure, I’m just shy and maybe a private person? lol.

I mean, im gonna be undressing in front of another girl, so it shouldn’t be too nerve wrecking, but the nerves are still there.

🎡 KWEEN OF THE WHEEL — Drag Roulette Lip-Sync Smackdown | Sept. 2 @ LORE Atlanta

Atlanta, would you survive a lip-sync battle if YOU didn’t get to choose the song? 👀

Kween of the Wheel is a drag roulette competition where performers spin the wheel and are thrown into unexpected lip-sync battles, challenges and musical chaos.

🎡 Drag Roulette
💋 Lip-Sync Battles
🔥 Competition
📍 LORE Atlanta — 466 Edgewood Ave SE
📅 Wednesday, September 2
⏰ 8PM
🔞 21+

Come pick your favorite queen, watch the wheel decide their fate, and see who survives the night.

If you’re looking for something fun and chaotic to do in Atlanta Wednesday night, come play drag roulette with us. 😂

Hope to see y’all there!

https://shotgun.live/en/events/drag-roulette-drag-game-show-2

I’m just wondering, can I engage in lesbian sex without having to eat the 🐱. I don’t want mine ate nor will I eat someone else’s. I feel like I just want to scissor and that’s it. I’m not interested in penetration either. I know most lesbian like having they coochie ate, which is fine, but I ain’t interested in doing it nor having it done to me.

Is it possible for me to date someone and have these limitations?