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The bots are baiting hard coming up to midterms. They (the shitty billionaires and/or politicians) just want to divide us, and our votes; when really, itās the class war theyāre trying to mitigate by manipulating us online/TV/radio, over and over again.
I think the optics are trying to show the lesbian white couple as being racist. So theyāre probably against LGBTQ. Also pandering to a black community so likely wants to win black votes. So Likely theyāre not typically popular in the black community. I can only think of one party.
Clarence Thomas said he rejected the phrase stay black or die. I posted his quote and it got taken down for being āconfusingā though the top comment had 300 likes and a couple awards. They didnāt respond when I asked how it was confusing if people were engaging exactly how I thought they would.
I feel like its probably the optics of loudly complaining and suing about getting a black baby instead of the "baby they wanted". Even if its not racist, it stirs something to see beautiful baby being talked about like she was an unwanted outcome due to her mixed ancestry, likely because of the history of how black blood is seen and treated. The details kind of get overshadowed by that.
Like if antiblack racism, especially from white family, wasnt such an issue then we probably wouldnt have the trauma response. Although its clear it is a medical and clerical mix up and they love the child.
This has made me curious but I cant seem to find alot of information on about how deep the information is that youre allowed chose a donor? What exactly is allowed for the people chosing?
If you can choose donors height, nationality? Their weight? An iq test? Does that cost more?
If you could pick a very select hand picked donor with "receipts" then yea it could be heartbreaking.
I only know this from TV and such so I could be wrong but every time it's brought up, it sounds like they get a whole bio of different donors and they can pick whoever they want. Whether they picked this donor bc of height or that he plays a musical instrument doesn't really matter and probably doesn't need to be disclosed.
You just pay and choose a donor. The cost is the same. It cost more if you plant to do stuff for insemination like IVF or turkey bastor, or using one person's egg and implanting into another. You fully pick the donor. It's malpractice to do otherwise. There have been corrupt doctors in the past that purposely would mix up stuff and also use his own genetic material as the donor material.
Every donor is different. My wife and I used IVF to have our kids so I'm pretty familiar with it. And we plan to give our embryos if we have any left and are done having kids. Donor and recipient can set up their own rules. Like it can be no contact or contact request. And then just like family history and genetic history that is available. Depending on what each party is okay with sometimes you could meet the person but that is usually with stuff above just semen donors. A lot of semen donors prefer no contact. Embryo donations have more contact sometimes.
Imagining it happen to me, i would love the child, but i would not accept such a giant fuck up.
First i'd want full discovery, like was this a fuck up or intentional (has happened before, where a doctor went around implanting his own sperm into numerous women) was the dna screened for genetic abnormalities etc etc.
plus for such a giant mess i would take the obviously owed compensation and use it to help raise the child / put it in a college fund.
All you have to do is imagine a black lesbian couple that got a white/European donor when they thought they were getting an African American/Black donor. This isn't the thing to be upset about (I mean you can) but sperm banks cant make these kinds of mistakes. It's malpractice.
I donāt think they care that their daughter is half black, they care that the sperm bank fucked up. Stop defending corporations. Hold them accountable.
Yeah, this isn't racism. This is "they put the wrong sperm in my body". It's medical malpractice, and it shouldn't happen. Ever. It is, in fact, quite simple and straightforward to avoid.
I'd imagine the child's skin color was the indicator it had happened, but it isn't the main issue. People who choose donors choose them for all kinds of specific reasons, and having all of that disregarded and finding out you were impregnated with random sperm you didn't consent to would be upsetting.
Never mind having to endlessly explain that no, your child is not adopted, and no, it is none of your business who the father was, because people are nosy weirdos.
Edit: apparently the clinic did tell them about the error before the birth. So at least this wasn't a total shock, but it would still be super upsetting.
Agreed - there's no getting around the fact that the sperm bank made a serious error.
I feel bad for the child who might always wonder at the back of her mind though: if they really loved me, they'd be overjoyed at the error, not on the warpath and suing. So truly a messed up situation considering the parents have to choose between holding the corporation accountable, and risking the child later living with that phantom feeling.
It's famously difficult to put ourselves in the shoes of others, but as I am now, I wouldn't sue. I'd consider that I played the baby lottery, and won a beautiful baby. Having a child was never meant to be about choosing exactly what you get. Even if you choose a mate based on their physical traits alone and hope that's going to get transmitted to the child, that's all it is: a hope. The kid might end up with the "worst" traits of both parents, or recessive traits from further back in the lineage. And then there are all sorts of birth defects, and hereditary diseases. I think the only healthy way to look at is if you get a healthy child, you're ahead and should count your blessings. Parents who find their child is born with a disability often manage to feel blessed, so so can the rest of us.
Yeah this a major screw up. People throw hands in McDonalds over fries. We should all be outraged that they can make such a massive mistake especially after they went through the process of picking their donor.
This is not the child they expected. They love the child they received BUT it was not what they were told they were getting. I don't understand why some people are trying to downplay this like it shouldn't be an issue. People get upset when their to-go order is messed up! But this should be acceptable?
They wanted to avoid any implication that "the lesbians" were taking anyone's child somewhere. Parents with mixed race children can and do get interrogated in public by some people. Black needs are different, in terms of considerations for medical conditions like sickle cell down to proper hair care. This has inserted an unexpected and unbargained for element to their child rearing story. It is not "well we just give you whatever sperm we have lying around and you have to take it or you are ungrateful and racist." They paid for something. They did not get it. Filing a claim is easy.
My first thought was the barrage of questions they're now going to have to navigate for life about their kid, and that the kid themselves is going to have to navigate. They're going to have to explain this mixup potentially thousands of times to strangers and acquaintances, some well-intentioned, some less-so.
This would be true if they were a family of ANY race with a mis-matched kid.Ā
It's a thing you're prepared for if you choose it. If you didn't choose it, you have a right to be upset for being shoved into it.
Facts! I'm black and this passes. If I wanted something, paid for it then got something totally different, I would be mad too. Yes, a child is involved. Same situation with a woman and a man. If a white man and a white woman had a baby and it came out black..
I can only go off the video but it looks like they love the child, theyāre just upset the child doesnāt resemble one or both of them as much as possible. Thatās fair given that they had a choice.Ā
I think it's entirely possible that if the donor were Asian then they might have been just as upset. In any other situation bate and switch would be seen as unethical. (Bate and switch was on purpose wink)
If the kid was white they would just think they got the donor they chose. It would probably be years later they started to suspect it was not, if ever.
The blackness isnāt the problem here, itās just the instant giveaway that the clinic fāed up their process.
It is. I think it shows how much Blackness is held as appallingly defective and tainted.
There is also the matter that this was definitely not an accident, it was considered. Someone saw the opportunity to play a prank on lesbians and took it. Given that only so many people had the right access, it shouldn't be all that hard to track him down, if you ask me.
Do you have actual evidence that this was a prank? Thereās a lot to unpack in your comment but I just want to clear up this one specific point youāre making to make sure itās not just a wild imaginative accusation that you came up with on your own. Like you actually read that this is a confirmed prank and not just an accident caused by negligence, correct?
Oh, no. Definitely an opinion. I didn't make that clear, unfortunately, although it's a very plausible scenario to me, given just how reckless people can be with people they hate.
I don't think they're mad the child is Black. It seems they're mad they got the wrong sperm and they are right to be. Alot of women choose sperm donors not just on looks but their genetic make up. DaBrat talked about this in depth about why she chose a white sperm donor and it was because she has genes that could lead to a baby having a certain condition if both parent have that gene. The same could be said for this couple. It can be dangerous to mother and fetus if they give the wrong sperm.Ā
The reason youāre not likely to hear about this if the child was white. Isnāt because they wouldnāt have cared, itās because the fertility clinic would have never told them. The clinic probably caught the mistake too late. Thought if they could ignore or even attempt to cover it up. They then admitted to the mistake, because they wouldnāt be able to hide or deny it.
They didnāt say they no longer want the child they have, by the way. They just trying to get a bag from the clinic for making a mistake. I would 100% sue the clinic as well. The childās ethnicity wouldnāt matter to me, but if we chose sperm #S176589 and the clinic later told me they actually used sperm #K326893, Iām suing them unless they have a clause I signed and agreed with before the procedure took place that protects them from a lawsuit. I donāt know how much money weād potentially win in a lawsuit but Iād spend it all on the child. Take em to Disney world, put it towards college or a savings account/trust for them.
They select sperm based on lots of factors like the family history of disease of the donor. With random sperm being used instead, that opens up their child to all kinds of unknown potential medical issues with potentially no avenue to consult with the biological father regarding the medical history.
This also could potentially be part of a situation where someone has dozens of biological children in a local area as has been documented, leading to increased risks of incest unless you conduct genetic compatibility tests on everyone you have sex with, which is very unfortunate for the children.
There are plenty of other reasons why switching the sperm of the donor is unethical regardless of race, but the race being different just makes it more likely that the parents will become aware of the issue.
I think it's hard to say that these parents are racist just based on this.
I will say that it's very unfortunate for the child to be part of such a lawsuit, but if nobody stands up against corporations like these for the medical malpractice then there are no consequences and it will be allowed to continue.
I was worried I was failing some sort of racial-awareness litmus test with this one.
I was relieved after going through the comments section. I've seen people lose their ever-loving minds over getting the wrong side dish at a restaurant, let alone the wrong bloody sperm for half their child's genetics.
They are right I mean imagine the reverse a black couple getting a white baby. Shits fucked up and definitely extra fucked that they are impregnating women with the wrong stuff full stop. Malpractice to teh fullest extent that there's isn't like 100 checks in place to prevent that. I don't blame them honestly. Nothing racist going on here.
It is not about the race. There was similar issue that happened this year or last. It was a heterosexual white couple who ended being inseminated with the wrong embryo. The baby came out black. As it turns out, the clinic lost or misplaced their embryos and the black couple found out that they have a living child that looks like them. There is a huge ethical issue involved in that case.
Do you give the child to the black couple or white couple?
With this video it's not about race, it's about choice. They wanted a baby that looked like them meaning maybe blond hair blue eyes. A baby that looked like other relatives. What they are upset about is the lack of respect, wantoness, nonchalant attitude showed during this debacle.
Clinics are supposed do their job and make sure everything is labeled correctly and follow standard operating procedures.
I would sue if I got the wrong sample and I'll tell you why: their lawyers would make certain that any deal between us benefits both of us. And the benefit they want is your silence. They would want the right to sue ME if I ever dared warn another family about their mistake.
Accidentally placing us where we are not wanted is dangerous.
This is giving that wild Oz storyline where the white inmate got gums from a Black donor š not the same situation obviously, but my brain immediately went there.
I think the second successful penis transplant in South Africa (3rd in the world) gave a white penis to black man, so once it had healed had to go for skin darkening tattoos.
Bottom line is they did not get what they paid for. Period. And this was gross negligence in the part of the clinic. But...I think it's how they are reacting that's causing comments. They are angry and in tears...that's a sign of disappointment and anger. Which means they weren't completely happy about the outcome. That's what concerning. It's why they weren't completely happy that's an issue for people.
You donāt have to be white, a woman, or a lesbian to be upset that you have any contact with semen you neither wanted nor expected contact with.
The obvious mix up involving race just highlights how terrible the company is. They paid to choose. They paid to not have one sleep with a male friend or a stranger to conceive. Not cheap.
Then they had to figure out how to do a little black girlās hair. And the parts about her culture learning and the questions about āwhy did you choose black sperm?ā havenāt even entered the chat yet.
So, yes, there are damages, and they donāt all have to be rooted in racism.
Nothing wrong with her being upset. She can love her daughter and provide a nice life because at the end of the day, the clinic needs to own up to their mistake. This family wants accountability in the form of MONEY! On the surface, which is all we know based on this clip, I donāt see anything wrong with this.
This is still an unexcusable mistake, regardless of what the child ended up looking like. People trust fertility clinics on the grounds that they don't make mistakes like this.
Most people get upset when they order food and are given the wrong order... this is beyond that. She has every right to be outraged, that's malpractice.
This reminds me a fair bit of a story a few years back of a very wealthy Asian man that sued the mother of his daughter for blatant dishonesty about her genetics. He was extremely forthcoming that he wanted a very naturally attractive person to give his child the best possible genetic makeup he could find. After birth, it was revealed that the mother had extensive plastic surgery to change her appearance and had lied to him about every bit of it knowing that was his stated intent from the start. The man loved his daughter profusely, and had the financial means to give her a very comfortable life full of opportunity, but he was furious with the mother's dishonesty despite knowing exactly what he was going for.
In this instance, the race may have changed, but the choices and actions taken that lead up to the outcome are fairly similar, and took away from the parent's intended goal for their child, and those responsible knew full well the consequences of what their actions would be.
On one end, itās so messed up, because they pick their donors based on particular things, and that totally got messed up by this sloppy company. But on the other end, I hope this does not truly effect how they treat the daughter, and the relationship they have with her
I doubt appearance was the only criteria they considered when choosing the donor. It's just the most obvious difference at this young age. But who knows what other criteria differ with this donor. They could wind up with someone who has a dangerous recessive trait that the mother shares.
Someone being LGBT does not automatically mean they are allies or friends. Look at Peter Thiel and all the ruin heās caused. They could very well be racist. It might displease them their daughter is half black. It wouldnāt surprise me. But imagine a black lesbian couple getting an Asian or white donor when they specially asked for a black donor.
But there is OBVIOUS negligence of the bank at play. Itās malpractice. I donāt know how you can spin it any other way here
I was thinking maybe the sperm donor had Black in their ancestry and didn't know, but they admitted they fucked up. I would sue the brakes off them too.
This is a messed up situation. Chances are theyāve been messing up many times overā¦ this is just the first visible mess up. I feel bad for them because they trusted the establishment to deliver results that they specifically asked for, and this happened.
They obviously love their daughter, but itās definitely upsetting to expect your child to look like you and they end up completely different. Itās harder for the child too. Already she probably had to deal with questions about having two moms, now she has to answer questions from people about how she doesnāt look like her moms. š„²
Nothing to see here tbh OP is just tryna sow some hate here against this lesbian couple for the fact that they are white or lesbian. If you requested the baby "look like you" that's completely fair. If you were adopting a child and they gave you another child than the one you were going to adopt, same deal. The clinic fucked up.
I think they do love her and they can make the sperm bank pay for their inability to keep dna and filing correct. That child is gonna have a nice college fund I hope. And the facility is going to pay for it.
before we jump to that conclusion, it may well be that they were given the opportunity to select what option they preferred and were subsequently misled, in which case they have reasonable cause to be upset.. but having said that, the reaction itself is a little extreme, because in the end a baby is a baby as far as i'm concerned.
I feel like this will be an unpopular opinion here but these people suing strike me as entitled and out for money
- is it possible that their genes contributed to the phenotype of their girl?
itās weird that they say their child is wonderful but they are crying and bawling that they have a black daughter
whatās the ājusticeā here? They get a bunch of money and close down a clinic ? To me this isnāt on par with other sperm donor stuff like that doctor who used his own sperm.
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