r/Cornell • u/Ok_Paramedic_5066 • 2d ago
Public display of affection here
Is it part of the college experience to get a gf/bf throughout? Or even have sex if not the above two?
There has been a few intrusive thoughts coming up to my mind that I am missing out on "the American college experience." And to be frank, it is even more pressing when I witness a case of public display of affection. I know that many of folks online say sex is overhyped. I wonder if getting in relationships carries the same sentiment.
I am an international student coming from a background where folks normally have their first sex after marriage. I don't know about the psychological analysis of this as I would assume it means the person has not have any experience with sex or mitigating relationships... Nor do I know any statistics showing how first marriages with no prior relationship involvements wih others are successful or less so compared to those marriages coming after accummulating experience.
What do ya'll think here? I assume many folks here are of an educated demographic thus their answers might be more ... thoughtfulđ
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u/Snappy_Crappy 2d ago
while sex and relationships are normal in colleges in the US, you shouldnât feel like you need to pursue those to have a college experience here. especially if itâs not something you want and it goes against your personal values. iâm sure thereâs people here who share the same beliefs in waiting for marriage. do what makes you feel comfortable
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u/fineline3061 2d ago
Rather than asking on reddit, find your faith group and have a dialogue with them.
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u/Tchemgrrl Staff 2d ago
It is a common age to have that experience, yesâyou can check stats on the topic in the US, if you are curious. Itâs plenty common to make different choices, too. (Itâs also common to lie about your experience, in either direction.) Your âAmerican College Experienceâ is going to be uniquely your own regardless of the choices you make.
I imagine that the demographics of marriage longevity as a function of when they have sex is going to be strongly influenced by the fact that in the US, it is very unusual to get married without any sexual experience, unless you are also deeply invested in a religion that frowns on divorce. (My parents lived together in the 70âs before they were married and thought it was ridiculously outdated to wait on anything before marriage. So social structures in the US have been different for a very long time.) If you are thinking these issues through for yourself, I might think about what waiting or not means to you.
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u/lupalin 2d ago edited 2d ago
Uh yeah itâs normal to have sex in college. Couples be banging all the time. If you look at any I can assure you they are most likely having sex in their dorms/bedrooms/apartments. Whatâs the question here? Some people in situationships are having sex, some people are FWB, it doesnât need to be an exclusive relationship. But yeah itâs happening all the time, but so is it in the real world between other people.
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u/Born-Indication-655 2d ago
Just remember that sex is not free. Casual sex comes with emotional and psychological baggage, no matter what free love boomers used to say.
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u/BrakeCoach CALS '27 2d ago
To jokingly put it, Cornell is a boring ass school that doesn't even have a furry club. You will fit right in.
To be a bit more serious, don't stress about it. If you don't get a partner, thats fine. If you do end up getting one, thats great too. You should just have these life events flow its own course rather than trying to look at statistics and find a "meta" to live your life.
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2d ago
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u/cheesengrits69 2d ago
Idk sometimes theres a thrill from being in public and sneaking a kiss or two from your significant other while waiting for a walklight or something
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u/metalfridged 2d ago
If it helps, as a non-international student I did not have the âAmerican college experienceâ lol. Are you concerned more so about missing out or about marriage success later on