r/Custody • u/IRuleMe • 8h ago

[NM] New Case

My spouse recently opened up a new custody case against her ex for my stepdaughter after about 10 years of trying to work with him outside the court. He lives in another state, has made minimal attempts to spend time with his daughter, is not actively involved in day to day life, and up until April has paid less than NM state guidelines in child support. He has not paid child support at all since then and has not contributed anything financially for medical expenses, activities, etc. for about 8 years now. Mediation is looming for my spouse and not knowing what to expect is a bit scary for her. She is seeking full custody at this point but had been scared to move forward with opening a case due to ex being physically, verbally, mentally, and financially abusive in the past. Just looking for any general advice or people with similar situations to share their stories, either so she can have an idea of what to expect and/or reassurance.

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u/South-Firefighter-49 3h ago

My judge asked if i wanted arrears from birth, I said no just from when he left. My husband’s ex asked for arrears from birth and got it even though they were married and living together 😵‍💫 it just depends on the judge

Edit: she now has arrears herself but only from the file date bc it was an administrative order.

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u/RHsuperfan 8h ago

Was he on child support by the court?

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u/IRuleMe 8h ago

It was not court ordered.

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u/RHsuperfan 8h ago

It won’t count against him then. He might come back and ask for time, it will likely lower his support. Being in another state could mean time in the summer and alternate holidays. You can try asking for a step up plan if they haven’t spent much time together.