r/EstatePlanning May 14 '26

Frequently Asked Questions

20 Upvotes
  • Why aren't comments showing up? or, Why is the number of comments higher than the number of posts I can see?

This subreddit receives a very large number of low-quality comments, so only comments by approved users show up automatically. The other comments are hidden until a mod approves the comment.

How to Become an Approved Commenter: If you're interested in becoming an approved commenter, please message the mods. In your message, explain why you believe you would contribute positively to our community. We welcome fans of all levels, whether you're a super fan or a casual browser. Note that approval is contingent on adherence to our community rules, particularly regarding misinformation. We reserve the right to rescind commenting privileges if rules are broken.

The mods are all estate planning attorneys who volunteer their time to ensure this subreddit is a great resource, and while we do our best to go through the comments in a timely manner, we also maintain our actual practice, and appreciate your patience and understanding.

  • Should I use an online tool to create my Will/Trust?

Many DIY providers can make adequate documents, but it's not just about the documents. The documents should reflect a carefully designed plan and the DIY solutions don't do that careful design part. They just offer a basic solution that kinda fits most people. It's like selling only size large tshirts - most people could probably wear it, but doesn't mean it's the right fit. So you can get a good outcome or a bad outcome with DIY. The problem is you don't know.

DIY is imperfect, but so are many lawyers. Documents from lawyers can produce good outcomes or bad outcomes. I have encountered more problems from lawyers than from DIY solutions. Using a lawyer isn't 100% guaranteed to be perfect, just as DIY isn't 100% guaranteed to be a disaster.

Modern DIY solutions have improved significantly from pre-printed forms, static templates, and one-size-only offerings. Some of the offerings today rival the output you'll receive from lawyers who also rely on form generation software (but without the actual legal guidance involved). Some are trash. You likely can't tell the difference, though you likely can't tell the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer who presents well.

The biggest issue is that you don't know what you don't know. You don't know if you've missed an issue because you didn't think of it, you don't know if something you wrote is unclear, you don't know if you didn't fill it out correctly, etc. Hiring an estate planning attorney means someone is ensuring that everything is done correctly. Another mod disagrees with me, and I respect that, but personally, I believe nobody is better off paying an online provider for a DIY estate plan - if your situation is so simple a DIY is sufficient, then you probably don't need a Will so there's no need to spend money on one, and if your situation requires you to have a Will then it's probably more complicated than DIY can handle.

Do not DIY a Trust. There is no such thing as a "basic" Trust or a "simple" trust, no matter what you read online. Furthermore, the documents are only half the package. Trust Funding is just as important, but not only that, the guidance and recommendations from an experienced attorney are far more important.

Also, the best reason to hire an attorney is that (a) they're less likely to make a mistake, and (b) if they do make a mistake, their malpractice insurance can make you whole.

  • My Financial Advisor is offering to do estate planning for me.

Don't do this, ever. At best, they can simply fill in blank forms for you.

If your financial advisor is providing any kind of legal advice, and is not admitted to practice law in your state, they are violating the law; depending on the state that's either a misdemeanor or a felony. I don't know about you, but I don't want to trust my money or my estate with someone who so casually breaks the law.

More importantly, would you trust your car mechanic to provide a medical diagnosis? These are completely unrelated skills.

Additionally, there are certain protections that you get working with an attorney that you don't get from a financial advisor. Attorney-client privilege, a fiduciary duty, and, if things go wrong, malpractice insurance.

  • What about using AI?

At a bare minimum, from start to finish an estate plan involves:

  1. figuring out what the plan should be.
  2. getting the information to put into the documents (e.g. names)
  3. drafting the documents
  4. signing documents
  5. post-signing wrap-up. Things like recording deeds, changing owner and/or beneficiaries of financial accounts, etc.

#4 in many states needs to be done physically, and even in states where it can be done, still requires human involvement, no way around that, sorry.

#2 and #5 are the same whether you use AI (e.g. Claude) or an attorney. Your experience might vary based on the individual attorney or AI that you use, and that is important, but conceptually that part is the same. Used correctly, an AI can be just as good as an attorney.

#1 AI is only as good as its prompts, and you don't know what you don't know. A good attorney will ask you questions you might never have thought of, and see if there's something you haven't considered that might be important for you. If you're not aware of something, you won't be able to add it to your prompt. Just as importantly, AI won't talk you out of doing something you shouldn't be doing, and might not caution you about potential issues.

#3 is the other one where we see issues. AI might miss important clauses, include clauses that shouldn't be there, might use ambiguous language, out-of-date forms, things not applicable to your state, etc. The quality I've seen is... not good. I've had clients ask AI to review my documents, and come back with revisions that would cause problems - including one that would have resulted in significant unnecessary taxes.

the problem isn't that AI can create something that's good enough, it's just that you don't know if it's right, or if it just looks right.

  • What is estate planning?

Estate planning is preparing for the inevitable - determining who will take care of you if you become incapacitated, who will get your stuff when you pass away, as well as when or how they get it. The key components of an estate plan are:

- Healthcare authorizations, so that if you become incapable of making your own medical decisions, someone else can make those decisions for you. Closely related are end-of-life decisions, which may be in the same document, or a separate document.

- Power of Attorney, so that if you need help managing your financial affairs, someone can act on your behalf

- Will or Trust, to determine who will receive your assets after you pass away

- Probate avoidance devises, such as transfer on death deeds or beneficiary designations

- Funeral Authorization, to establish who is in charge for decisions regarding your final disposition

- Guardianship paperwork for any minor children

  • What happens if I don't have an estate plan?

Then the state's default rules kick in. For some people that's fine, but others may not like the results.

- healthcare: nobody can make a decision on your behalf without a court order allowing them to do so. That's an expensive undertaking, and the person the court appoints may not be the one you would want. More importantly, the decisions they can make will be limited, particularly where end-of-life is concerned (i.e. the ability to "pull the plug")

- power of attorney: nobody is authorized to access your bank account, learn about your mortgage payments, etc. Again, they'll need a court order, again it might not be who you want, and that person will probably need to report to the court on a regular basis

- funeral authorization: I once saw a brother and sister in court over a year whether to bury or cremate their mother while the body remained on ice.

- guardian: do you want the court deciding who should raise your children?

- assets: this varies by state. [SOMEONE FILL IN THE GENERAL RULES FOR COMMUNITY PROPERTY]. In states that do not have community property, generally speaking if there are separate children and a surviving spouse, half will go to the surviving spouse and half will be split among the children. If there's no separate children, in many states it'll all go to the surviving spouse, but in some states the surviving spouse only gets half even if there are no separate children. If there's no surviving spouse, the assets will be split among the surviving children. If any child predeceases, then the descendants of those predeceased children will receive a portion, but the way that's calculated depends on the states. If there's no spouse or descendants, typically the parents will inherit, or if none, siblings or their descendants. It can get messy and go to more distant relatives.

If you're ok with the state's default laws, you do not need a Will (or any of the other documents).

  • What is probate?

Probate is a court-supervised process to transfer assets from someone who is gone to someone who is alive. While state law varies in the execution, the purpose of probate is to ensure the assets of the decedent go to the right people. The process involves gathering all the assets, paying off any valid debts, and distributing the rest of the funds to the appropriate people.

In some states probate is generally simple and fairly quick, in other states, probate is more complicated and takes longer. What really makes a probate complicated are (a) unknown heirs, (b) minor children as heirs, (c) disabled heirs, (d) complex assets, (e) uncooperative heirs, and (f) disputes.

To clarify: the legal definition of probate is the process by which a Will is proved (declared valid) but colloquially refers to the court supervised process of administering an estate. All estates need to be administered, but not all estates require court supervision.

  • Does a Will avoid probate? or Do I need a Will?

A Will does not avoid probate, it is merely instructions to the court regarding what you want. Without a Will, your assets will be distributed according to state law. With a Will, your assets will be distributed to the people/organizations that you choose. Same goes for who will administer your estate.

  • The Will made X the Executor who is now telling us who gets what

First and foremost, X is not the executor unless and until the court has approved the Will and has issued official paperwork stating that they're the Executor.

Often that means that property will sometimes sit, unused and unusable, for a period of time after someone has passed away.

Even after someone is appointed Executor, the Executor does not get to decide who gets what - that's determined by the Will and/or by State Law.

If you think X is not suited for the position, you can object to them being the Executor, and propose an alternative. That can drive up the cost of administration, and can also lead to strained family relationships.

  • How Long Does Probate Take?

How tall is a person? There's no single answer. Probate involves (1) petitioning the court, (2) having an executor/administrator/personal representative appointed, (3) gathering all the assets together, (4) paying any valid debts, (5) maybe disputing or litigating various claims, (6) maybe dealing with tax matters, and (6) distributing assets.

How smooth that goes depends on (1) how fast the court process goes, (2) how simple/complex the assets and liabilities are, (3) how effective the executor and their legal counsel are, (4) whether there's any disputes, and (5) whether tax authorities are involved.

I don't know a single state where the creditor claim period is less than 3 months, so if the Executor doesn't want that kind of liability, even with instant turnaround times, it won't be less than that. More realistically, I would expect simple estates without any issues to be resolved in 6-24 months. But if the assets are complex, if there's litigation, or just if people die during administration, the process can run for years, sometimes decades.

The longest probate on record, that of William Jennens, in England, wasn't fully resolved until 117 years after his death. Wellington Burt had a clause in his Will that delayed payout until 92 years after his passing. It took 87 years before Daniel Clark's probate was finally resolved.

  • What is a Trust?

At its simplest, a trust is where a person (Settlor/Grantor) gives assets to a person (Trustee) to hold and manage for the benefit of another person (Beneficiary).

Some ways to look at it:

  1. When you open a bank account, you trust them to hold on to your money, but it's still your money
  2. When you send mail, you trust the post office to deliver your letter to the intended recipient
  3. Giving a teacher an asthma inhaler or an EpiPen to be administered to a child as needed

There are many types of trusts, and names are not always consistent. There are generally three categories of Trusts:

- Testamentary Trust is created under your Will, it does not come into existence until you pass away. Simplest example: When I die my assets will go to my children, but until they turn 18, the assets will be managed by my sister.

- Revocable Trust is a Trust you create today, and you can make any changes at any time. The primary purpose of a revocable trust is to avoid probate. Typically, at the time of creation, the Grantor is also the Trustee and the Beneficiary.

- Irrevocable Trust is a Trust you create today, but you are limited in what you can change later.

There are many kinds of irrevocable Trust, and they can be created for many different purposes.

Note that while assets in a Trust typically (but not necessarily) avoid probate, that doesn't mean there won't be litigation, and while Trust administration usually happens without court supervision, that doesn't mean it'll necessarily be quicker. The issues that can cause delays in administration or contentious litigation don't disappear just because there's a Trust.

  • Should I add my child's name to the deed

Adding someone's name to a deed isn't just symbolic - it's an actual transfer of an ownership interest in the property to that person. So it's a gift of the value of that interest, which SHOULD be accompanied by an appraisal of the property, another valuation done to determine the value of the fractional interest transferred, and likely a gift tax return filed to report the gift.

This can impact other planning done, for higher net worth people (there are some still out there who will pay estate and/or gift tax), actions like this can impact their overall estate plan and possibly increase the estate/gift taxes owed.

You have now exposed the ENTIRE property to the risk that your child would have creditors (divorce - soon-to-be-ex-spouse, business risks, etc.) and that their claims could take property away from you. This is generally not a desired outcome.

There may be state-specific issues related to property tax.

Your child will not inherit the property from you, which can have serious tax repercussions - particularly as your child will receive your tax basis, and will not receive a step-up.

  • Will my child pay tax on inherited property / what is a Step-Up in basis? / What is Capital Gains

On a federal level, there's no estate tax or inheritance tax if your assets are below $15 million, and a married couple can combine their exemptions, which gets it to $30 million.

There also typically won't be capital gains.

If you buy property for $100,000, and sell it for $150,000, you made $50,000 profit, and need to pay capital gains tax (if owned for more than 1 year). More precisely, you're taxed on the difference between the net sale price (after deducting costs), and your Tax Basis, which is called your Gain.

Tax Basis is typically what you paid for the property, plus adjustments. If you bought the property for $100,000 and put in a new kitchen for $20,000, your tax basis becomes $120,000. Rental property can be depreciated, which lowers your taxable income every year, but also lowers your tax basis.

If you sell your primary residence (meaning you lived there for 2 of the last 5 years), you are not taxed on the first $250,000 of Gain, and if you're married, you can double that to $500,000. So if a married couple bought property for $100,000 and sells it for $650,000, there's $550,000 of gain, but only $50,000 is taxable.

If you give property away, whoever receives it takes over your tax basis - can't avoid tax just by giving property away. Plus, the recipient doesn't get the principal residence exclusion until they've lived there for 2+ years.

If you inherit property, through a Will, intestacy, through a Transfer-on-Death deed, a life estate deed, a ladybird deed, community property (in those 9 states), or through some trusts (especially revocable trusts and Medicaid trusts) you get a "step-up" in basis, meaning that your tax basis is the date of death value (or up to 6 months later).

That means that if you sell the property right away, there's no capital gains tax. Or if you hold it for a few years, you're taxed on the difference between the sale price and the date of death value, not the original purchase price.


r/EstatePlanning Oct 07 '24

Selecting an Attorney – a Guide

53 Upvotes

I was initially going to title this “how to select an attorney” but realized that there are no hard rules and making a definitive statement does a disservice to either those who are excluded, or those who select the wrong attorney based on this guide.  I have known attorneys who provide estate planning services in rural areas, large cities, and everything in between, from solo practitioners to the largest of law firms, and thought I’d share my thoughts.  I will gladly state that you can get great service from a solo and horrible service from a major law firm.  So this guide is more to provide information than anything else.

This is a work in progress, and is open to suggestions.

1. Specialization

The single most important aspect of your attorney should be their specialization.  Quite simply, a jack-of-all-trades attorney is unlikely to have an in-depth knowledge of all topics.  An attorney who happens to do Wills on the side probably doesn’t know much about estate planning, such as whether or not a trust may be appropriate.  I had one divorce attorney ask me why I always had a Will notarized when the statute only required two witnesses (quick answer: so that the Will is presumed valid without the need for the witnesses to swear in court that they saw the decedent sign the Will).  While there are exceptions, I generally would not recommend getting an estate plan from someone who doesn’t predominantly specialize in estate planning.

There are also sub-specialties in estate planning.  Going forward, I’m going to refer to estate attorneys, unless I’m referring to a particular sub-specialty.  Broadly speaking, the main subspecialties are:

(a) middle-market planning, which often revolves around avoiding probate and ensuring a smooth transition, but often also includes long-term care planning, knowledge of special needs, etc.

(b) probate and administration, meaning they mostly specialize in the busywork that happens when people die - getting the executor/administrator appointed, transferring assets, stuff like that. 

(c) elder law, which more broadly deals with issues faced by seniors.  This includes Medicaid planning and probate avoidance, but also deals with benefits, guardianships, and a whole host of other corollary issues that many other practitioners don’t deal with regularly.

(d) special needs.  This tends to blend in with elder law, as special needs people and seniors tend to face a lot of similar issues.  Depending on the practice and the clients, this may be a lot more hands-on than elder law.

(e) tax / high net worth.  This generally means people worth tens of millions (lower in some states), who may face millions upon millions in death taxes.  These attorneys know all the funky acronyms you may come across, and are able to figure out which ones to use for which client.

(f) private client / family office.  A private client attorney is more like a general counsel of a wealthy family.  It doesn’t just cover estate planning, but anything that the wealthy family may need, such as preparing a lease, purchasing a jet, finding the best DIU attorney in the vacation resort where their wayward child got arrested. 

(g) litigation.  These people are who you reach out to when there is a serious dispute – such as when you’re trying to invalidate a Will or enforce a Trust.

(h) The transitioning attorney.  This is someone who doesn’t really specialize in estates, but is trying to make the transition.  There are generally two kinds, the recent graduate (or recently unemployed) who can’t find a job, and starts to do simple Wills for their friends and family and tries to make a living with it, and the somewhat older attorney, often divorce or criminal law, who thinks it’ll be an easier lifestyle because they can make their own schedule rather than have to deal with court deadlines and the like.  Some of these attorneys put in a lot of work and study to learn the specialty and can be better than attorneys who’ve been doing estates for years, but a lot of them don’t really know what they’re doing and don’t even know what they don’t know.

(i) the dabbler. This is an attorney who doesn't specialize in estates, but does it on the side. Someone who mostly does family law, or business, or whatever, and occasionally does Wills for clients because he/she thinks it's easy. This attorney doesn't know what they don't know, and should be avoided. Don't even think of using someone who only does the occasional Will on the side - if you're lucky it's just a waste of money, but they might miss a whole lot of things they don't know they should ask about, or they may do things incorrectly and set you up for much higher expenses later. Somewhat related to this are out-of-state attorneys who don't know the laws in your state, and I've seen a lot of problems because of that, including invalid documents.

Keep in mind that while an attorney often has one, or maybe two, sub-specialties, the attorney may still be knowledgeable in other areas.  As an easy example, I don’t specialize in special needs, but I am capable of preparing special needs trusts, and have done quite a few, but only if it’s pre-planning planning for while the parent/donor is still alive and capable; for more immediate needs or in-depth administration, I defer to the experts. 

That also means that many attorneys will state that they do some or all of the above, even if they barely do any X. While the title or practice description at the law firm may be an indication (e.g. private client, wills & estates), that’s not necessarily reflective of the actual specialization. The most important thing is that they know their limits - and stick with it.

Word of Caution

Beware the multi-practice attorney. The multi-practice attorney does a lot of different things, so they may do divorce and real estate and personal injury and basic Wills. I've thought long and hard about this and I don't want to be too harsh; you've got some very clever attorneys who can juggle multiple practice areas and be decent at each, but they're unlikely to master each one. It's a lot more common (and a lot more acceptable) in rural areas where there just isn't enough density for specialization; there are parts of this country where it's a 3-hour drive to a town with 10,000 people, and it's really hard for an attorney to support themselves doing only one thing. As long as they know their limits that's fine. Meaning they know what they don't know and will tell clients when to seek out someone with more knowledge.

Alternative 'Solutions;. Today it's mostly websites selling estate planning solutions, but you can buy a Will template from Staples. I don't recommend this. Usually, the documents are flimsy and bare bones, some of them are quite bad, but that's not what the big issue, the real concern is that there's no guidance. You don't know what you don't know, and a lot of mistakes get made with these. Quite often the documents aren't executed right, people pick the wrong forms, select the wrong options, don't choose their words carefully, and it leads to all kinds of mess. Ask any attorney in this field, we get paid a lot of money to fix the mess created by the online services. But maybe that's just Survivor Bias, and we only see the ones that don't work properly. In the end, my personal view is that you're not paying an estate planning attorney for their documents, but for their advice and so that it's done right.

Related to this are non-attorneys who offer estate planning. Some financial advisors and accounts say they do estate planning. That's not entirely accurate. Estate planning by an accountant or a financial advisor only focuses on part of the picture, and from a limited point of view. It's not uncommon for advisors to work together, and it's great when we can coordinate our different parts with each other. But I've come across such professionals that want to dictate to the attorney what to do, which is not good, there's also professionals who try to undermine the other professionals, which can cause issues, and worse, I've come across professionals who make it appear that you don't need an attorney (or other professional), which is even more problematic. It's great when advisors work together, as long as they all "stay in their lane" - and that goes for the attorney too. I might give a financial advisor my thoughts and ideas, but that's about it, because they're the financial professional, and I only have a surface level of knowledge.

2. Size of Firm.

The largest law firms, with hundreds of attorneys, if they do estate law, tend to have the wealthiest clients, and charge accordingly.  There may be a particular focus on private client / family office, and tax planning for high net worth.

Beyond that, the size of the law firm only tells you the size of the law firm.  Not only that, the size of the department is more important.  A firm with 50-200 attorneys may only have 2-3 who do anything with estates, or it could have a sizeable department of 5-15 attorneys with that specialty.  It’s really no different than a boutique law firm, except that the larger firm gets to keep their clients in-house.

A boutique with 5-20 estate attorneys, including a much larger firm with an estate department that size tends to cater to the middle class and the moderately affluent.  It’s not unusual for a firm like that to have a handful of high net worth or private client, particularly if it’s part of a much larger firm, but you can probably count those clients with your fingers.  These firms are most likely to do a lot of advertising, including seminars – that may or may not be a bad thing (See below).

A solo or small shop runs the gamut – it could be a boutique specialist who has plenty of high net worth clients, such as when the specialist works with some of the major law firms that don’t have their own estate attorneys, or it could be someone who stepped away from a larger firm for lifestyle reasons.  There are also solos/small shops who weren’t able to find a job and just fell into estate planning, or who were previously a different kind of attorney and wanted to transition for an easier lifestyle.  However, when dealing with a solo attorney, and particularly a very old attorney, you might want to ask if the attorney has a plan in place for any sensitive papers that the attorney may hold on to.

3. Location.

The location of the lawyer does not dictate the ability, but it may be an indicator of the typical cases the clients see. 

Rural counties: An attorney in a small rural county is a lot more likely to see the type of clients who live in small rural counties.  Not all rural counties are alike, and so neither are rural attorneys.  While the majority of rural attorneys are generally dealing with many smaller estates, there are also rural attorneys who regularly deal with multi-million dollar estates.  Particularly the kind of multi-millionaires you may see in such areas, such as wealthy farmers, oil & mineral rights, etc.  For example, there are attorneys in more rural areas who specialize in farm succession planning, which very few “big city” attorneys would understand.  That being said, there’s often a limit to the size of the estate local attorneys should be handling, mainly due to the volume.  As such, it’s unlikely that a rural attorney has significant experience with ultra-high net worth planning. 

The largest law firms tend to only be in the largest cities, with over 2/3 of the lawyers in the 200 largest law firms being in just 5 cities, and 7/8th in the 10 largest cities.  Some of those law firms may also have a presence in a smaller location, which may provide access to the larger firm’s expertise.  Beyond that, large cities have all kinds of attorney, from those scraping by, to very respectable boutiques, to mega law firms.

There are still sizeable and deeply experienced firms in somewhat smaller cities.  If the population of the greater metropolitan area is 500,000+, there will probably be two or three boutiques with sufficient knowledge to handle all but the largest estates, but whose main bread and butter is typically more retail clients.  There are also a few more affluent areas where you’ll get a much larger number, such as Naples, Florida, which can rival even the largest cities for the number of high-end practices you’ll find there. 

Suburbs of major cities are in many respects similar to midsize cities, in that you can find some fairly large and knowledgeable boutiques, but there’s also a larger likelihood of specialization.  For example, mid-size firm in a very affluent suburb may have enough clients to only do high net worth.

3B. Multi-Jurisdictional / Different States

The attorney must be licensed in the applicable state. Typically, your attorney should be licensed in your state. It is illegal for an attorney who is not licensed in your state to advise you on estate planning matters in your state or to draft documents for your state.

Some attorneys will take on out-of-state clients to help with out-of-state matters even if the attorney is not licensed in that state. An attorney may even say that another attorney in their firm is licensed in your state, so therefore they can advise you and prepare documents for you. That is illegal in many states, and in some states even a felony - an attorney can't just borrow another attorney's license, the attorney licensed in your state should be part of the process from start to finish. Do not work with an attorney who is not licensed in the state for which the attorney is preparing documents.

It's ok for your local attorney to give general advice on issues pertaining to other states, and for many states there is a safe harbor, so that if you seek a local attorney to advise you on your estate planning, and as part thereof some documents are prepared for another state, that might be ok, as long as the work in/for the other state is secondary to the estate plan in your home state. If you spend significant time in two states (e.g. summers up north, winters down south), you should ideally have an attorney admitted in both states, or otherwise two separate attorneys.

It's also ok to seek an out-of-state attorney for advice on federal matters (e.g. tax); any attorney can advise anyone in the country on federal matters. The out-of-state attorney should not advise you on local law, and may need to bring in a local attorney to review anything related to the state.

4. You get what you pay for – or maybe not?

Quite often people ask what a reasonable fee is, and there’s no straight answer, but there are some rough guides.  While you’d generally expect higher prices in larger cities, that’s not necessarily true.  The sole attorney in a rural area might be so busy that they can charge higher prices, while someone in a more working class part of a larger metropolitan area might be a lot cheaper because there’s a lot of competition.

That being said, if it’s a relatively simple revocable trust package (without add-ons and bells or whistles), the price should range from about $2500 to $7500 anywhere in the country (things that cost more include medicaid planning, special needs, asset protection, tax planning, business succession, etc.).  Any less would be very concerning, because even the most simple estate plan will take several hours – to meet with you to determine your actual needs, to prepare the documents*, to review the drafts, again to meet with you to explain your documents and to sign them. 

If it’s within that range, don’t make the mistake of thinking more expensive is better – I’ve seen expensive attorneys who are mediocre, and I’ve seen excellent attorneys who charge less.  It mostly has to do with their network and the volume of clients they get. 

If someone charges more than that, hopefully it’s because there’s a good reason, such as a more complicated plan or a more demanding client.  Again, that range is for a relatively simple revocable trust, but keep in mind that there’s a lot of things that could make a trust more complicated. 

*it’s not just filling in blanks on templates.  While ideally a lot of the text is pre-written/standardized, that doesn’t mean every client’s work is the same – it’s adding or removing clauses or entire sections based on the client’s particular situation.  Maybe 75% of the document is the same for 75% of the clients, but there’s still a lot of variation – at least, if it’s customized to the client.

5. Marketing

Let’s start off with a “Trust Mill”.  This is a derogatory term for a business that follows a very specific pattern: send marketing to a targeted population, invite them to a seminar (possibly with a free meal), give a presentation about estate planning, and sign up as many clients as possible.  It’s a business, and there are pseudo-franchises where any attorney can pay a fee and they’ll essentially have it all done for them.  Trust mills get a bad name because it’s mostly one-size-fits-all planning.  Think of going to five guys, in-n-out, or shake shack.  Everyone’s getting a burger, but you can choose your toppings.

It's not fair to say all trust mills suck, and they’re not all alike.  Some are run by very dumb attorneys, or those who drank the cool-aid, and try to fit every peg into the same square hole, whether or not it fits.  Some are run by very good attorneys who are very knowledgeable, and it’s just a way to get clients. 

Some attorneys get clients through word of mouth, others through advertising.  Some attorneys spend a lot of time writing or speaking to get their name out there.  Some attorneys donate significant money to charities so they can sit on the board and network.   Advertising doesn’t make someone a worse attorney (or a better attorney).  It’s just a way for people to find the attorney.  Think about your own situation – how are you going to find an attorney? 

But that being said, the way an attorney gets clients tells you something about the typical clients the attorney gets.  An attorney who gets all their clients at the country club typically has a lot of country-club type of clients (i.e. high net worth and private client).  An attorney who gets all their clients by hanging around senior centers is more likely to do elder law.  An attorney who does a lot of seminars is more likely to be targeting the middle class.  An attorney who goes on reddit to post about estate planning probably loves their job a little too much.

6. Awards, Certification, Group Membership

Awards are worthless.  A lot of awards are “pay to play”, meaning the awards make money off the attorneys who they give the award to.  It doesn’t matter if they say something like “only 10% of attorneys qualify” or something like that.  Even if it’s not “pay to play”, it’s still a popularity contest.  Even the most reputable awards are barely more than a seal of approval – I know a Chambers (most prestigious) ranked attorney at a major law firm who uses documents that are hand-me-downs from 50+ years ago, and whose knowledge of trusts seems to be stuck in the '90s.  All awards are worthless.

Certifications are either private organizations or state-run. If it's a private organization, I'd take it with a grain of salt. There are a lot of accreditations and certifications, and some are barely more than a paid plaque. I'm looking at one right now for which the requirements are less than I need to maintain my license to practice. So yeah, I could pay for a certificate so I can tell the world that I show "a high level of professionalism", or I could just be a good attorney. If it's a state run program, it's probably a good indication; the Florida Bar Board Certification is a rigorous program and I know very experienced practitioners who've failed the test. It'll certainly tell you that the attorney can pass the test, but it won't tell you if the attorney has empathy or creativity. A lack of certification doesn't mean the attorney isn't as good as someone who does have certification.

There are also professional organizations, and the qualify varies. Most groups/organizations, just about anyone willing to pay the fee can join, and the only thing membership in the organization tells you is that the attorney pays to be a member of the organization, while some groups may require a few years of practice and/or a few classes. The most prestigious and restrictive group, ACTEC, only tells you that the attorney was able to jump through the hoops needed to join; I know an ACTEC member that uses garbage documents that includes references to sections of the tax code that were repealed more than a decade ago and I can teach a class on how bad they are. To the extent you want to make sure an attorney is dedicated to their craft, in addition to ACTEC (American College of Trust and Estate Counsel), NAELA (National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys) is a good group for elder law, and SNA (Special Needs Alliance) is predominantly a support network for attorneys who specialize in special needs.

7. Materials

The quality of the paper, binder, etc. says nothing about the quality of the attorney. I've seen comments about how fancy binders are only for crappy trust mills. Personally, I provide a premium service for a premium price, so I like to give a top notch presentation. I've done high end tax planning that cost $50,000 or more, a sturdy binder costs less than $50. It actually irks me that there are some very high-end firms that print on the cheapest paper available and just stick documents in a plain envelope - I take pride in my work, and I want my work to look like I care.

8. What should I look for?

Here’s the question everyone probably wants answered.  I can’t give a perfect answer, just my opinion.  What you want is empathy, knowledge, and clarity.

First and foremost, how the attorney makes you feel is important.  If you feel like you’re not getting their full attention, or that they’re rushing you, or pushing you into something you don’t understand, walk away.  An estate attorney once told me “I sell peace of mind”, that the attorney’s job is to make sure the client feels like they’re in good hands and will be taken care of. 

Second, you want an attorney who has sufficient knowledge to know what they’re doing – and more importantly, to know what they can’t do.  The attorney doesn’t need to be an expert on everything, if you have a $500,000 home and a few hundred thousand in retirement funds, you don’t need someone who knows the estate tax through and through.  What you do want is that if you ask, for example, about going into the nursing home, that the attorney can give you a good overview of the requirements for Medicaid – even if they can’t do the application themselves.  More importantly, you want an attorney who’s not afraid to tell you they can’t do something and will refer you to someone who can.

Third, you want an attorney who can communicate clearly with you.  You don’t need to be an expert in estates, but the attorney should be able to explain to you the issues that matter to you in a way that you can understand it and explain how the proposed estate plan addresses those issues. 

Last, you want an attorney who asks questions.  If a client comes to me and says they need a trust, I always ask why they think they need it.  An attorney who just does whatever the client asks for is not a good attorney - we’re sometimes called counselors, because it’s our job to counsel clients, not just to fill out some forms.  As an easy example, you can (probably) go online and find a standard document to appoint a healthcare agent for your state, but it’s the attorney’s job to explain to you why it’s a really bad idea to appoint two co-agents.

Bonus: Trust Funding / Post-Planning Guidance

Often, signing your documents doesn't mean your estate planning is finished, there's usually a few things left to do. Even if you're just getting a simple Will you should still name the beneficiaries on bank accounts, retirement accounts, insurance policies, etc. Your attorney should provide you with instructions.

Trust funding takes a bit more work, as assets need to be transferred into the trust. At the retail level*, the client is doing most of the work - your attorney can't go into your bank and drain your bank account. 20 years ago, your attorney could call your financial institutions and obtain the blank forms, but today it's hard to get the forms if you're not the account holder, so even if we wanted to do it all for you, we still can't do so without your help. Some attorneys will provide assistance (such as filling out forms) as part of the flat fee, others charge an additional fee for that, and it's not unreasonable because the time it takes varies significantly - some people need no assistance at all, others take many hours. At the very least, the attorney should provide written instructions on what you should do - that's the bare minimum, an attorney who doesn't even do should be avoided.

*if you have a personal banker, you know your insurance agent, etc., they'll often help get the forms and may help you fill out the forms. Just like with attorneys, I've noticed a lot of variability in how knowledgeable other professionals may be, and how willing they are to help. I had one client with private banking accounts at two different branches of the same bank, one did everything for the client, filled out the forms, made all the arrangements, etc., the other only provided blank forms and told the client to fill them out and figure it out. I've been shocked by how little some professionals know, and how unwilling they are to pick up the phone and call their main office for support. At the same time, some professionals I've dealt with were absolute experts who knew more about the legal aspects than many attorneys, and who would go the extra mile for their clients just because that's who they are.


r/EstatePlanning 23h ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Safety deposit box, mom has neurogenerative disease now. Help! (New York state)

20 Upvotes

Back, somewhere between 2018/2019 my mother asked me to open a safety deposit box with her for her jewelry which she wanted to pass down to me her youngest child (out of only 2 children). The box is in both of our names.

She does not have a will, we always planned to get one made but life got busy for me and you know how it is, sometimes we just don’t expect certain things to happen.

She got diagnosed with a “possible” neurodegenerative disease. Nevertheless right now she is unable to sign anything. Handwritten wills are not legally recognized in my state (New York).

My father just now inquired about the box. My father’s sisters have been after that jewelry my mom’s entire life as they grew up poor and even though they have moved up the social ladder and have accumulated a lot of wealth they are still after my mom’s jewelry. The jewelry was gifted to my mom by her brothers at the time she got married.

I feel that if my mom passes my dad will take action and seize this asset from me.

It’s not even the monetary value that’s important to me, I just want to make sure my aunts cannot get this jewelry as this is against my mom’s will.

Does anyone have any advice for me?


r/EstatePlanning 8h ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Corporate Trust Companies

0 Upvotes

I have a New York trust and I'm down to 3 companies - Schwab, Wilmington and US Bank. Anyone have experience with any of them?


r/EstatePlanning 22h ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Professional or Independent executor?

2 Upvotes

I am a co-executor, along with my sister, of my mother’s estate in New Jersey. Not going into the finer details, but due to the dynamics of our relationship and specifics of the estate, we have not been able to get the job done.

Are professional or independent executors a thing? If so, any advice on how to find one?


r/EstatePlanning 1d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post How do you keep your aging parents safe at home when you live far away?

17 Upvotes

For those of you helping aging parents from another city or state, how do you know their house is still safe for them? (Living in Portland Parents are in New York)

Things like:

  • Do you know how to contact neighbors in an emergency?
  • Are smoke and carbon monoxide detectors working?
  • Is someone keeping up with maintenance?
  • Are there stairs, loose railings, poor lighting, rugs, or other hazards you worry about?
  • If something breaks, do you know who they trust to come into the house and fix it?

How do you all manage this if you can't just get there quick in an emergency?


r/EstatePlanning 1d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Trust vs Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship

6 Upvotes

Hi all,

My parents currently do not have any estate planning set in place due to sticker price shock of creating one. I cannot and do not want to push something on them even if I see that the benefits outweigh the costs.

As such, I would like to find a more cost-friendly alternative to protect their largest asset: their home (primary only, no rentals). We are a family of four (parents, myself and another sibling). When they pass, they want to ensure that their home is passed down to my sibling and I 50/50. I am wondering if amending it to joint tenants with right of survivorship with all four of us included in the deed would be the answer, as well as any downsides to this approach.

Location: AZ

Thanks in advance.


r/EstatePlanning 1d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post 401k Beneficiary? CA

6 Upvotes

Hello,

CA, US

My father passed away recently without a will and we’ve been having trouble with some of the items outside of probate. He was married and undergoing a divorce which complicates some items. However, I had a specific question on his 401k. My siblings and I were always told that we were designated as beneficiaries but upon calling the 401K provider - Voya they specified that because my dad was still legally married they needed to talk to the spouse before they can release any information.

This concerns me obviously as I would think if we were truly labeled as beneficiaries this wouldn’t matter. Is this just a matter of procedure or did he perhaps not truly list us as beneficiaries? We are trying to get it contact with his wife but she’s difficult.

Any ideas generally?


r/EstatePlanning 1d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Trust for middle-aged child with no kids?

4 Upvotes

My father is planning his estate and would like my input. He is not married and my brother and I stand to inherit several million dollars in real estate and stocks between us. I am in my forties, married, and neither my spouse nor I have any children. My adult brother is handicapped and not capable of supporting himself or handling his expenses - that will fall to me. 

My father’s estate planner has encouraged him to set up a revocable trust for me for 1) creditor/spouse protection and 2) estate tax exemption. He recommends a special needs trust for my brother. I would be the trustee for both. 

I am skeptical about the need for a trust in my position. I expect I will be in my fifties at the time we inherit his estate. Our goal is simply to retire as soon as we can and travel. I am concerned that receiving the money through a trust would make it difficult to spend it as we would like, even with me as the trustee, versus inheriting it outright. We have no nieces or nephews, so there is no one to inherit a trust from us. Anything left after we die would be gifted to charity, so preserving wealth for a future dynasty is not a concern.

Both my father and brother live in Washington state and I live in Maryland. Is there really a compelling reason that he should place my share of the inheritance in a trust for me? Also, I understand the benefits of a special needs trust for my brother - are there any questions about that specifically we should be asking the attorney when my father sets it up?


r/EstatePlanning 23h ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Dad owns houses with other people, what happens when he passes?

0 Upvotes

My father isn't expected to pass anytime soon but I have been thinking about this for a bit now and want to be proactive rather than reactive. I haven't been able to find much for information on what happens if my father dies and owns houses with other people. here are the three situations -

he owns one house in Vermont, primary house. no mortgage. one child lives in there now.

he owns a second house in Vermont, not primary house. no mortgage. owns it with his two brothers (inherited it when my grandmother passed, one uncle lives there as primary)

he and I own my home in New Hampshire, no mortgage. My name first on paperwork but don't think that matters. My primary home.

If my father was to pass tomorrow, is this a shit show waiting to happen? should I get him to nail something down in writing about these? The assumption is my sibling and I would share everything 50/50, no dirty laundry or arguments about it.

I think my main questions are, is my house safe if he passes because I am also on the deed/title/whatever? would it just default everything to me? All I'm finding is marriages lol. And my second question, what about his house and the second house he owns with his brothers? I am worried that my sister and I will need to figure this out on the fly if something happens to my dad.

for reference, he has no retirement or anything of the sort (no savings really) and no debt anywhere else. just wondering if I need to push him about planning this out?


r/EstatePlanning 1d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Trying to find a good probate lawyer in orange county ny

1 Upvotes

Im trying to put my fathers will through probate but i dont gave anyone to refer to or ask about references to a lawyer. I need advice on how to find a good lawyer or if anybody knows one around here


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Estate Debt Vs. Beneficiary - a longer explanation seeking guidance

9 Upvotes

State: Georgia, USA.

Will from deceased mother states that remaining estate funds to be distributed 3 ways between two sons and daughter. Oldest son is the executor; me. Respective ages are 58, 53, and the daughter is 50.

Through working with my mother's bank and closing her accounts, I learned of two unpaid "lines of credit". The lines of credit were secured by my mother's two CDs; one was for $20,000.00 and the other was for $30,000.00. The two loans where signed for with my mother's approval by my sister's boyfriend and my sister's daughter. The loans were not repaid and the bank liquidated the CDs. The context of the loans were something about my mother "helping them to start their respective small business."

I'm understanding that the estate is owed $50,000.00 from these two individuals; sister's daughter owes $20,000.00 and my sister's boyfriend owes $30,000.00.

What I'm seeking guidance on: as the executor and knowing that my sister's family already have/had $50,000.00 of my mother's assets, can I forgo paying her the 1/3 of the remaining estate assets and give her 1/3 to my brother?

The details are that the relationship is borderline hostile and the likely hood of getting the 50,000.00 back is extremely low. We don't speak and at the time that we were speaking it was hostile and not friendly. The sister's family lives in constant debt. The attorney I worked with for the probate (he's from Georgia) suggested that a judgement could be made against my sister's boyfriend as his name is on a mortgage; something bout a lien on the house for the amount of 30,000. However, there really wasn't much that could be done trying to get the 20,000.00 back from my sister's daughter; she has no assets and is in constant debt.

All of this is muddy and I apologize, but its emotional and money brings out the worst of us so I don't know what to do.

I'm open to advice/guidance/tough love.


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Estate planning question

7 Upvotes

My husband and I have been married for 25 years. Denton County Texas

We are a blended family. We each have 2 children from our first marriage, and when we got married, he had about $400,000 of IRA assets and I had about $60,000 of IRA assets. During our working years, he made more than me, but he had to pay a significant portion of his paycheck to child support (12 years)and I received some child support and made decent money so our salaries were somewhat equalized. When we originally got married, we felt that the other spouse needed good finances should one of us die younger, so we made a second to die trust whereby all of our assets were divided six ways once the second passed away. We provided the eldest of each of our children would be co-trustees once the second death occurred. Should either of us remarry or cohabitate after the first death, the living spouse had to buy out the deceased spouses children with half the assets.

In the years that have passed… There has been a little bit of drama between his kids and my kids. Our assets have also grown to over 5M.

One other detail… My mother passed away and left us $500,000 of after tax money that I commingled because I truly felt that since my husband started our relationship with a much healthier IRA this sort of equalized us…

I’ve recently began to fear that if I die first, his IRA is technically not in our trust and he could change beneficiaries anytime he wants. His IRA has $2M now so it is a lopsided percentage of our assets.

I have no reason to believe he would do this, but I have seen horror stories where elderly people’s children guilt them into things and they are forced to do things they wouldn’t normally do because they need the child to help take care of them.

Is there such a thing as irrevocable beneficiaries for IRA accounts? Is there a solution for my conundrum? Even if we make separate trusts, his IRA account represents a risk to my children.


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Texas: Does a 1973 JTWROS deed between Missouri spouses give surviving spouse 100% ownership, or is late probate needed?

3 Upvotes

I’m trying to clear up an old title issue involving a 1-acre property in Hidalgo County, Texas.

In 1973, my parents purchased the Texas property. They were already legally married at the time; they married in 1970.

The recorded deed identifies them as residents of Jasper County, Missouri and conveys the property to both of them “as Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship and Not as Tenants in Common.”

My father later executed a Texas will in 1980. He died in 1993. The will was never probated. The will appears to leave his Texas land interests to my mother, with other provisions benefiting my sister and me. He also had other children from a prior marriage who are not named in the will, and his former wife had already passed away.

My mother is still living. She recorded a Transfer on Death Deed in 2021. In 2025, she also recorded an Affidavit of Death of Joint Tenant, along with my father’s certified death certificate, stating that his interest vested in her by right of survivorship.

An earlier title company would not recognize the survivorship provision because there was no separate survivorship/partition agreement signed by my parents.

I have since come across McCarver v. Trumble, 660 S.W.2d 595 (Tex. App.—Corpus Christi 1983) and Bauer v. White, which seem potentially relevant because my parents were domiciled in Missouri when they acquired the Texas property.

My questions are:

  1. Could the 1973 deed itself have created a valid JTWROS because the spouses were domiciled in Missouri, a non-community-property state?
  2. If so, would my father’s interest have passed automatically to my mother when he died, making her the 100% owner?
  3. If the survivorship provision was not sufficient, could his 1980 will be admitted now as a muniment of title, despite his death being in 1993?
  4. For the late probate issue, could my mother’s belief that the survivorship deed already made her sole owner support a finding that she was “not in default” for failing to probate the will within four years?

I’m mainly trying to determine the cleanest way to establish title while my mother is still living.

I know Reddit isn’t a substitute for hiring an attorney. I’m hoping a Texas probate or real-estate/title attorney can point me toward the correct analysis before we spend money pursuing the wrong procedure.

I truly appreciate any guidance. This has been a stressful title issue to sort through.


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post HM Land Registry and Title Deeds transfer - England

1 Upvotes

In England:

My husband's mother died and she left my husband her half of the deed to the house. The deed was held by my in laws as tenants in common.

My father in law also has dementia to which my husband is the LPA and I am the reserve LPA.

So we are trying to get the land registry details changed to have the tenants in common now be my father in law and my husband.

Does my father in law need to sign off on this? He doesn't have capacity to do it. If he does, I'm fairly certain that my husband cannot sign it for him, but will I be able to in my capacity as the reserve?

Also for context, my father in law's health is not good and might not be around for much longer. Might it be best to leave the land registry to when he passes and do the land registry as a transfer to my husband?

There is a will in place for my father in law to which my husband is (, with exception of about 10K to go myself and a great nephew) is the sole beneficiary of the entire estate.

Can anyone offer advice of how to proceed?


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Dont see Use and Occupancy anywhere in Trust docs. New Jersey.

2 Upvotes

Had a Trust written up 5 years back, when both parents were failing. New lawyer, young. Moved house into Trust. One parent passed 2 years ago, other remained in house until a month ago, now in Assisted Living. House under contract for $700k, was bought for $25K in 1960.

I see no wording in Trust about U and O, although lawyer wrote about it in his initial offer to draw up Trust. Is that normal? As trustee, I've always had parent pay for small things around the house, while Trust paid taxes and larger repairs, in keeping with lawyers advice re U of O.


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post How would I be able to give my family all my assets if something were to happen to me?

12 Upvotes

Just to get this out of the way. I am not suicidal or planning to harm myself in any way.

If something were to happen to me, how would I be able to leave things to my family? Let's say I get lost in the woods or get kidnapped without anyone knowing.

I have an IRA, savings/checkings, retirement, crypto etc.. how would I be able to give those to family or give them access?

United States, California.


r/EstatePlanning 2d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Do I need to make a trust before I die? How much should I expect to pay to have a will drawn up? [MICHIGAN]

1 Upvotes

Hey guys,

So I am a single 36 year old mom to a 9 year old on the spectrum. He is high functioning, but his level of independence and capability at age 18 is up in the air. But I'm hopeful. However, I want to make sure things are set up and easy for him. I live in Michigan.

I live out of state from all blood relatives and am living in the state of my ex-husband's family. They are trustworthy but naive. However, my level of trust in my own mother financially, is pretty low. My level of trust in my ex-husband is even lower. So it's important to me that my assets are to get to my son easily. If I were to die, he would be with his father 100% of the time. I'm not trying to leave him high and dry without money to care for our son, but I do not want him to have access to the entire estate/trust. I was married to him for 15 years and know how terrible he is with managing finances. There will be nothing left for my son by the time he graduates high school.

So all that being said, do I need to create a trust before I were to die, or can one be created at the time of my death? I have my son listed as beneficiary on my life insurance policies, bank accounts, and retirement accounts.

Additionally, how much on average should I expect to pay a lawyer to create a will with and without creating a trust? I am in the dark here, so I have no idea what a reasonable quote would be. I don't want to be ripped off, but also am willing to pay for someone who knows what they are doing. I do well financially, but it's more of a slow burn over time and not because I have a lot of room in the budget at the end of the month. So I would be planning to cut into my savings to pay for this.

The following is a breakdown of my debts and assets as they are today:

Assets:

x4 life insurance = $324k
x9 AD&D insurance = $729k
529 savings account for my son's education = $15k
x2 403(b) accounts total = $180k
Bank account balances across checking, savings, HYSA = $10k-12.5k depending on the time of the month I would hypothetically die.
Paid off car = $5k-10k worth as of today.
Home equity = $150k-175K

Debts:

Mortgage balance = $225k
Student loans = $10k
$50k is owed to my ex husband in August of 2035 per divorce agreement. I would have this paid out at the time of my death if I were to die before.
Credit card = Anywhere from $0 to $1k depending on time of the month. I pay this off every month.

Additional questions:
What are some important factors to address in a will when a minor child is involved?
Given the circumstances of my family and living situation, what are some important factors to consider if I were to become incapacitated or dead?

Keep in mind, this is a will to be used in the event I am incapacitated or dead when my son is still a minor. I would plan to redo things once he is of age and I can see his level of independence at that time.

Thanks to anyone giving their time to read this and answer any questions!


r/EstatePlanning 3d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Legal advice on a DAF

6 Upvotes

This would be in California. Sorry ahead of time, reading this as I typed it out sounds confusing haha. Ok so my question, can someone start a DAF with the minimum amount required (which is $0 for some orgs) then have another person who currently has money in a DAF do a “DAF to DAF grant” where some of their fund is transferred over from their DAF to this new one started by a different person, therefore that money would now have a different advisor. The goal would be to have the amount transferred to someone else’s name who can legally advise where that money will be donated. It looks like it’s possible from what I read, but not sure how complicated this process is. If it is possible, what would it mean for the person who has the new DAF account with the new funds in there and their taxes? This person does not have money or care about tax breaks, just don’t want to cause tax issues for them. Thank you all.


r/EstatePlanning 3d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Trying to get POA for my parents and am scared

32 Upvotes

Hello! My family is located in Maryland. My parents- Mom (86) Dad (90). Dad always did the bills, recently with my niece’s help (40’s). She lives with them with her young son (7). She hasn’t been working, but is now doing a little helper work at her former step father’s job where he does body work on cars.

Recently, niece has been transferring a bit of money every month multiple times to her Venmo or Cash App. Her claim is it’s things for the household, and she gets points through apps and earns rewards. I’m imagine some of it is for the household. Amounts are from single digits to a couple hundred. Average total transfers have been in the 2,000 a month range. Parents earn just over $4k monthly bet SS and a pension, so this is significant. They have run through a savings account they had and recently have missed paying some bills due to spending.

I have been asking to have POA for a while from them. They were not agreeable til recently. But I am very worried about the niece. She lives with them and can be combative. She is an argumentative person with bursts of temper. I’m very worried about the situation if I cut her off, which I think I need to do. She has been of some help to them, and they would have trouble (imo) managing on their own. They are not open to senior living unfortunately, as they worry where she and the child would go, since they do not have resources. The housing voucher list is closed in their area.

How do I deal with this? I really believe power of attorney is the only way forward. Their money needs to be preserved for their bills. But how do you deal with a person who is very loud and shout-y, and prone to fits of rage? Especially in a situation like this. My mom would not want legal action taken against her, since she would not want the child to be taken away by CPS.

I also care for her, and don’t want her to end up on the street. Ideally, she would stop her spending. I don’t know if they can afford to give her an allowance? At this point, though, I think their bills need to get paid.

I live about 45 minutes away, so it would not be simple to go to their house on a daily basis to help if they continue to live where they do.


r/EstatePlanning 3d ago

I haven't included location & understand my post may be deleted. Experience with Trust Companies

5 Upvotes

I'm looking for any positive or negative experiences with a trust company for a New York trust.


r/EstatePlanning 4d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Beneficiary designations on retirement accounts - do they override everything else in a trust setup?

31 Upvotes

Been working through the estate planning process with my spouse and we hit a wall this week that I did not expect. The retirement accounts, 401k, IRAs, those have named beneficiaries from years back. Some of mine list a sibling. One still has my mother on it from what feels like a decade ago. My mother passed two years ago so that one is obviously a problem

What I keep running into when I read about this is that beneficiary designations on these accounts pass outside the will and outside any trust structure entirely. Which means all the careful planning we do on paper means nothing if those forms still say the wrong names

My question is whether people here have run into situations where the beneficiary designation conflicted with what the trust was supposed to do, and what actually happened when that played out either at death or in probate. Nevada if it matters.

I understand the fix sounds simple: update the forms. But I want to know whether naming a trust as beneficiary on a retirement account creates tax complications or other issues people did not anticipate. The stretch IRA rules and SECURE Act changes are part of what I keep bumping into and I cannot get a clear read on whether naming a trust as beneficiary is actually worth it or creates more problems than it solves.


r/EstatePlanning 4d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post My dad died without a will, I’m lost on everything to do. Maryland.

10 Upvotes

 My dad passed away just over a month ago. He was in the hospital for months and was transferred to multiple facilities. Everything has been red taped, we had to go through a long process just to get my mom to be a trusted user on his bank account to pay bills while he was in the hospital, he’s always taken care of it all. Now we’re in the process of getting her a letter of administration, which is its own confusing process.

We just finally got death certificates but who do we give them to? Who do we notify? My dad was retired navy so we already called DFAS, Veteran’s Affairs, Social Security, his bank, Auto Insurance, and his life insurance company through work, though i’m not sure if there’s other information we should get from his employer. But what about the IRS? DEERS? His health insurance? The hospitals? Utility bills in his name? His tax people?? 

Should we get a financial advisor? Or a CPA/CFP? Or a fiduciary? Especially for long-term planning? Or a lawyer of some kind? Even just for the probate process or is that unnecessary?  How expensive would any of them be and who would have our best interest in mind? 

Are there any other benefits to apply for or anything else to know or avoid? 

I’m so scared of us being taken advantage of, or scammed, or making devastating mistakes that risks everything my dad has worked so hard for.


r/EstatePlanning 4d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Need some feedback on my trust situation because of real estate holdings and 1 irresponsible child

8 Upvotes

Texas. I’m trying to write a draft of my trust because it’s long overdue. Problem is I have three houses and one out of two irresponsible children. Would it be best to order a liquidation of the three houses and set up the trust in a spendthrift manner where they can take distributions if their performance is adequate, or just outright give the houses to each kid? The irresponsible one can probably take care of the house but most likely he’ll let it go into deferred maintenance and then sell it for a lower cost and then just spend all the money. What would you do? The total value is 2 million. Both kids would not agree to either situation so I kind of feel like I have to pick one. They will be co-trustees with an initial trustee setting up the trustee bond


r/EstatePlanning 4d ago

Yes, I have included the state or country in the post Ladybird deed with trust as beneficiary

3 Upvotes

We just met with (interviewing for) an estate attorney in Michigan. We are considering them because of a good reputation, several attorneys (and several offices) and well experienced in estate work. It will be a slightly complicated plan with 2 trusts, for reasons I've queried about in another thread. There are 7 real estate properties of various types - homes, rental, hunting property, dockominium.

She (and the firm's preferred approach) is to not put the properties in the trusts, but to create ladybird deeds where the trusts are the successor.

I've not heard this recommendation from anyone else. It probably makes sense for the rental and dockominium since they could and probably will be sold before we are gone.

But everything I read and hear is real estate goes in the trust(s) now. Seems like there would just be additional cost after our demise to deal with a ladybird transfer into the trust, where at least 2 of the properties would probably be sold out of.

They will set up our entire plan based on our wishes, but I'd not heard this recommendation before. What say ye?