Manipulated

[u/Any-Sport-4986]

Hey everyone, I need to get this off my chest and get some outside perspective because my head has been spinning.

​We broke up back in May. After the breakup, whenever I tried to back out, pull away, and give myself space to heal, she would reach out and contact me every few weeks. She kept pulling me back into her orbit, and because I cared about her, I stayed available.

​From May until recently, I went through hell. I spent months grieving, losing sleep, and barely eating while trying to support her. Whenever she needed comfort or emotional support, I was there 100%. But over time, I started feeling like I had zero priority in her life. She began treating me like a nuisance and an inconvenience—yet she still kept coming back to me whenever she felt down, overwhelmed, or needed a shoulder to cry on.

​Last week while she was at home, she was video calling me, crying, and taking all my care and attention. Then out of nowhere, she confessed that she has been in a relationship with another guy for two months and even went on a trip with him just two weeks after our breakup in May.

​The worst part? She didn't even confess out of honesty or respect for me. She admitted she only told me because he found out I was still messaging and caring for her, and he demanded that she tell me to stop. Right after dumping all of this on me to satisfy him, she blocked me everywhere.

​Looking back, I realize she was keeping me hooked as a guilt-free emotional safety net while building something with someone else. Every time I tried to step away over these past few months, she reached out just enough to keep me on a leash until she was forced to drop me.

​When she told me, I felt total numbness—like my brain just shut down after months of being emotionally drained. I know I am completely done and moving on, but the anger of realization is heavy.

​How do you deal with the anger of realizing you were systematically used as a backup option? How do you rebuild your self-worth after letting someone treat you like an inconvenience for months?

[u/keepgoingdeer]

Some girls have this ability to compartmentalize different guys. One guy for emotional support, other for romantic endeavors etc. You need to prioritize your mental health, always keep yourself first. It's easier said than done, I am telling you from my own experience. If you can do, block her or you can simply tell her you wish not to be contacted again. Start with activities that you love. It may be reading, hiking, walk, running, gym or cooking. Human mind has this amazing capability to overcome things that may seem impossible. Slowly you will start to be happy again and start to enjoy things. The process is slow, but be consistent and you will be able to overcome things. You can also think of going into therapy as well. I hope you start seeing your own worth. I really wish you well.