Long story short I 34M and the mother of my child(11) are separating and at the beginning it was civil but she began dating another man and that's when it got ugly and she's trying to move with my child out of state the lawyer I hired took over 12k did NOTHING and decided to drop my case today. I am a convicted (non-violent) felon from drug related charges I am 1000% clean and sober for years now taking NA/AA as instructed by previous counsel I have stable employment but live paycheck to paycheck because these damn lawyers

I am sincerely asking for any helpful advice on the next steps I cannot hire a new lawyer at the moment because of the previous counsel's actions or inactions more accurately.

I’m looking for unbiased opinions because my family is very divided about what I should do.
I’m currently in a custody case with my child’s father. I am the primary caregiver and residential parent. We’ve been negotiating a settlement, and his most recent proposal has me really torn.
His newest proposal gives me sole legal custody of our child. I would remain the primary residential parent, and his parenting time would be by agreement with me rather than having a set parenting-time schedule.
That part is obviously very important to me, and getting sole legal custody has been one of the things I’ve wanted.
However, there are significant financial concessions attached to the deal.
The proposal includes:
$902/month in child support starting September 1, 2026.
He would maintain our child’s health insurance as long as it remains reasonably priced.
Each parent would be responsible for childcare during their own parenting time rather than splitting work-related childcare.
Medical expenses would only be split 50/50 if the unreimbursed amount on a single invoice exceeds $200. If it is $200 or less, he would not have to contribute.
Separate medical invoices cannot be combined to reach the $200 threshold.
I would waive any past, present, and future child-support arrears, including claims dating back to 2023.
Wage withholding would be terminated, meaning he would make the child-support payments directly.
I would withdraw my pending contempt motion with prejudice, along with subpoenas and outstanding discovery.
We would each pay our own attorney fees.
One thing that concerns me is that I don’t believe the income being reported accurately reflects all of his income, so I’m hesitant to permanently waive potential arrears or agree to a child-support amount without knowing that the financial information is accurate.
My attorney’s previous draft was more favorable financially. It had us splitting work-related childcare 50/50 and had him paying 65% of uninsured medical/dental/vision/counseling expenses while I paid 35%. It also only waived arrears for a specific period rather than going all the way back to 2023.
My family is very divided.
My sister thinks I should take the deal because sole legal custody is more important, and she says she can help me with childcare so I won’t have to pay as much. The problem is that I don’t fully trust that arrangement because we’ve had issues in the past, so I don’t want to base a permanent legal/financial decision on the assumption that she’ll always be available.
My brother thinks I should reject the deal because raising a child is expensive and I’m giving up a lot financially. He also thinks I shouldn’t agree to the settlement if I believe the father isn’t accurately reporting all of his income.
My mom is conflicted and sees both sides.
I’m struggling because I don’t want to sacrifice sole legal custody, but I also don’t want to give up financial support that could benefit my child for years.
What would you do?
Would you take the deal because sole legal custody is such a significant concession, or would you counter and try to keep the 50/50 childcare and 65/35 medical provisions?
And if you believe the other parent isn’t fully reporting income, would that change your decision about accepting a settlement that permanently waives arrears?
I’m not looking for people to simply tell me what I want to hear. I genuinely want objective opinions about which option makes more sense long-term.

- Ex is on suboxone for stimulants (whippets, kratom, meth, pills, whatever he could get his hands on)
- Our child was just put on meds for adhd. I had a lot of concerns because of his past, obviously. Tried to get him to confirm that he understood dosing changes and just got pages back about how dare I.
- Hes had her twice with the med schedule and so far he's either: "overdosed her" or "couldn't get her to take it" (the way she literally has no issue taking it at mine).

I am curious the best ways to start to document this. I'm not interested in switching drugs - I'm an peds RN and made this choice intentionally. Her school is small and refuses to distribute them. How have y'all navigated dealing with these things?

Hi everyone, this is my first post in here. My father had passed a few months back, he owed years of child support up until 2017 (around 4200) when he was incarcerated and they wrote it off as non collectible. However since he has passed and he had left a estate behind (still trying to figure out the amount) my mother called the courts about it and the clerk kept saying it was non collectible, however I don’t think she is processing what we mean by he has passed so the money that was owed that he was not able to pay because he was incarcerated, would it still not be owed when he’s deceased and come out the estate amount? The clerk said they would need to look up the obituary but we stated we have my birth and the death certificate of him for them so it would be a smooth process, but I don’t understand the point of submitting it if she’s saying it just says non collectible. First time dealing with this so we want to understand the process. (St. Louis, MO)

I contacted a lawyer and waiting to be scheduled, but I wanted to find out what to expect as outcomes.

Our parenting agreement has her listed as the School Placement Parent. She has an apartment in district, I have an apartment out of district a few minutes away. I drop/pick the kids up from her apartment on the weeks that I have them, which is written in our agreement. We have 50/50 custody.

Our agreement states that if she were to move I would have 60 days to relocate to the school district. If I don't relocate then the kids would transfer to the better rated school based on the Ohio Department of Education.

I have known for a while now that she intended to move in with her current boyfriend and had made plans to take over her lease to keep them in district. Plans have changed and I am moving in with my girlfriend in a different county. I let her know of the change of plans and she told me that she would stay in the apartment to keep them in their current school.

The district she planned to move to is poorly rated vs. the one I am moving to being highest rated in the area.

I found out Friday when I picked up the kids that her boyfriends sister is moving into the apartment and she will continue to have her name on the lease and pay half the rent so the kids can continue to be dropped/picked up for school.

I was concerned that this is violating the district rules and a quick google search showed me that you have to eat, sleep, live at the current address to be considered a resident. Just keeping a lease doesn't qualify you alone. The penalty for the fraud is a misdemeanor and possible fines for tuition reimbursement.

I don't really want the kids to have to transfer schools, I just want them to go to a top rated school. I'm more concerned that I can get wrapped up in fraud by association or knowing of the possible fraud.

I sent her a text about the situation in a helpful "Hey I didn't know this and you might want to look into it" text. She replied that she already discussed it with her lawyer. I'm skeptical that she did, because how would a lawyer tell her this would be ok.

My daughter is incarcerated until June 2027 or sooner. She has 2 sons 12 and 14 years old. They broke up years ago never married and so my daughter left family home and left boys with Dad who has taken great care of them and she can see them whenever she wants. They are respectful to each other and neither one is trying to take other one out of their lives. Now the father has decided to move to New York with my 2 grandsons and I'm wondering if he can do this legally? What steps should my daughter take. I know she doesn't want them to be taken that far from. Here. What can she do?

So I’m divorcing my husband in Arizona. He is incarcerated and will be for another 34 years. My documents say something about child support. But I was under the assumption I would get nothing from him. Ever. Is that the most likely case? I do have a lawyer but he’s out of town the rest of the week.

report came out nov 2025. recommended sole custody to mom, no visitation to dad. hearing right after they didnt mention report, i raised issue , they said next time. next hearing , barely mentioned but was not included in the hearing files. next and was suppose to be final hearing to decide custody: court appointed expert was subpoena, but after 2 hours waiting on the phone was told no longer needed , case settled. this was around noon, i set foot inside the room at 1:30 pm. the other party allowed to present a big stack of photos videos all making me look bad and attached to inflammatory statements, i have CPTSD, he was ordered by this same court not to record me anymore. all his exhibits admitted. my public defender said i wanted to talk to give context. Denied. my 2 kids were asked 20 times their wishes in regards to custody schedule. 20 times they said they wanted it to remain the same, 80% with me, 20% with dad. Judge gave back the father almost 50% back. 730 evaluation was kept again off the record.

Such strong recommendation from a court appointed doctor, disregarded. what is going on, can someone help me understand why? my daughters are 15 and 13, why not respect their wishes? I was judged for my reactions on all his videos, but i reacted like someone with CPTSD, and he is constantly triggering mee with things such not paying child support. I just want to understand. thanks

Does anyone know of an affordable family lawyer in the Charlotte area who can help me get my child’s biological father added to his birth certificate?
I was still legally married to my ex-husband at the time my son was conceived, but my ex and I had been separated for years and was in the process of divorce. Our divorce was finalized about a month before I gave birth. Because of the circumstances, I was told I have to go through the court process to have my son’s biological father added to the birth certificate.
I already hired a lawyer once, but we kept going back and forth because the paperwork wasn’t being prepared correctly, and I ended up wasting a lot of time and money. We also ended up having a hearing and a GAL was appointed for my son, which honestly left me really confused because there was never any dispute about who his biological father is. I was simply trying to have his biological father legally recognized and added to the birth certificate.
At the time I originally started the process, his biological father and I were not married yet. We are still together and actually just recently got married! We also have a DNA test confirming that he is the biological father.
There is no dispute or contesting of paternity. I have no problem properly serving my ex-husband, although he currently lives overseas. We just want to get everything done correctly so my son’s biological father can be legally recognized and added to his birth certificate.
Money is tight, so I’m really hoping to find someone who is knowledgeable about this type of case, reasonably priced, and can help me avoid the mistakes and unnecessary back-and-forth I experienced with my previous lawyer.
If anyone has recommendations for a family lawyer in the Charlotte area, or has been through something similar in NC, I’d really appreciate any advice. Thank you!

I’m in Michigan and have an expedited custody hearing next week. I’ve been trying to retain a lawyer, but most of the attorneys I’ve contacted have told me the hearing is too soon for them to take the case, so I’m preparing to handle it pro se if I have to.

My son is elementary school age, L. others are: his dad D, dad’s wife S and paternal grandma G.
D and I have joint legal/physical custody. D has around 60% parenting time from a settlement in May 2024.

The reason we are back in court right now is CPS.

There was an incident after L hit his younger sister. L reported that D grabbed him out of his gaming chair by his shirt, threw/tossed him onto his bed and screamed directly in his face.

S was in the house but did not personally witness the physical part. She was in the sister’s room comforting her but heard D screaming from the other room.

L separately disclosed what happened and a therapist made the CPS report. I was not the person who reported it.

CPS is investigating, and unhappy with their findings. Dad has not fulfilled any of their requests and she told us (stepmom and I) that she is referring us to FOC after the investigation. She texted she is willing to speak at this expedited hearing.

I filed for emergency custody. The judge denied the immediate ex parte change but granted an expedited hearing for next week.

The CPS case is also what opened up a much bigger issue for me.
Once CPS got involved, people started talking more openly and I started learning how D’s parenting time has actually been functioning behind the scenes, and abuse stepmom has been dealing with (majority financial and verbal)

When we settled in May 2024, D did not travel for work to my knowledge. I agreed to him having around 60% parenting time believing he would actually be the person exercising it and the school district being what our child needs.

After the settlement D and S got back together and remarried. D later started traveling extensively for work.

I found out he was traveling at times and would ask to have L while he was gone instead of L staying with other people. D would either ignore me or deny that he was traveling.

What I didn’t know was how extensive the travel and delegation actually were.

Now S is leaving D again and preparing to serve him divorce papers. She is willing to testify about what was actually happening inside their household and what CPS has brought to light. She also has children with D who are L’s siblings and L has been raised with them.

I have no intention of their divorce meaning L suddenly loses S or his siblings. S and I work well together with the kids. If L lives primarily with me, I would still allow S to have independent time with him so those relationships can continue.

According to S, she has been doing most of the actual parenting during D’s time. She handles school, appointments, activities, transportation, exchanges, clothes, baths and normal day to day care. She communicates with me about L and reminds D about appointments and responsibilities.

She estimates D was gone around 80% of this summer, although we’re working on actual dates rather than relying on an estimate.
She can also potentially verify dates where I asked D if he was traveling or asked to have L, D denied it or ignored me, and he was actually gone while L stayed with S or his parents.

There are texts showing some of the delegation too.

One example is L’s speech therapy. I recently learned G was receiving L’s appointment notifications and independently called the provider and canceled an appointment. S was confused because she had already coordinated the appointments with D.
I wasn’t involved in any of that even though I’m L’s other joint legal parent.

My problem isn’t that S or G cared for L. I’m glad he has people who love him. My problem is D having 60% parenting time on paper while other people appear to have actually exercised a significant amount of it, including times when I was available and specifically asking to have my son.

Communication with D has also been a longstanding issue. He is barely responsive to me. Messages about L are regularly ignored or barely answered, which makes medical, school, therapy and other joint decisions extremely difficult.

It’s honestly hard to even figure out what parenting time to offer him because anything that requires flexibility or regular communication seems impossible when I can barely get him to respond.

There are other things in the last year too.
Earlier this year D’s parents took L out of state during D’s parenting time without either parent going, which resulted in an FOC/show cause issue.
L has an IEP/speech needs and has had attendance and tardiness issues.
D and S recently had their vehicle repossessed and he used the money on gambling debt. He makes 6 figures. I pay child support. 500 a month.

Originally, even after filing for emergency custody, I was trying to come up with a compromise where I became the majority parent and D still had substantial parenting time.
.
Between the open CPS case, what I’m learning about how much of D’s parenting time was actually exercised by S/G, S leaving the household, D’s work travel and D being nearly impossible to communicate with, I’m considering asking for sole legal custody and primary physical custody with a simple defined parenting time schedule for D.

Given the CPS situation, D’s lack of communication, extensive travel/delegation and S leaving the household, is asking for sole legal and primary physical custody a reasonable position to take?

If you were stuck preparing for this hearing pro se on short notice, what would you make sure the judge saw or heard?

I’m not expecting anyone to tell me I’m guaranteed sole custody. A lot of this is information I only learned because the CPS case opened everything up and is still ongoing.

what are some stipulations you wish you would’ve put in your parenting plan for high conflict co-parents? i’m signing my proposal today and i’d really like this to be the only time we end up in court getting a plan in place

Hello peeps,

I’ve posted a few times about my custody situation and going to court.

I got a lot of responses—some supportive, some not—but one of my biggest fears was always actually going to court. English is my second language, I’m not naturally comfortable speaking in front of a judge, and
my ex is very good at presenting her side of things.

But I had two things that helped me tremendously:
I documented everything.
I had people who were willing to back up what I was saying.

Recently, I was granted temporary primary custody of my 8-year-old.
I’m not posting this to celebrate “winning” against his mom. I want him to have a relationship with her. But there were serious concerns about stability, and eventually I had enough documentation and outside support to show the court what had actually been happening.

My advice to other fathers going through something similar: document calmly.
Save messages. Write down dates. Keep records of school, medical appointments, missed exchanges, housing changes, important conversations, and anything else that actually affects your child. Don’t exaggerate. Don’t document every annoying thing your ex does. Stick to facts and patterns.

Also, don’t be afraid to ask people for help. If someone has personally witnessed something important, their voice can matter.

For a long time I was scared that because I wasn’t the better speaker, I would not be believed. What helped me was realizing I didn’t have to be the best storyteller.

I just needed to be organized, consistent, and truthful.
And most importantly, keep the focus on your child. Court can make you angry and defensive very quickly.

Try not to turn it into a war with the other parent.
Document to protect your child, not to punish your ex.
That made a huge difference for me.

Here is my original post. Pretty much my kids’ dad started a relationship with their teenage friend and then took me to court bc the kids now refuse to talk to him.

https://www.reddit.com/r/FamilyLaw/s/7ed1uDIZar

UPDATE: The judge was disgusted. He kept a poker face but it slipped a couple of occasions. Turns out judges are human, too. Who knew? He found my actions reasonable and refused to hold me in contempt. Wants to talk to the kids “in-camera” (I just learned this is old language for “in-chambers” because something to do with a camera’s dark chamber). No contact between kids and dad until a reunification counselor blesses off on it. Reunification counseling pending in-camera meeting.

Location: Cook County, Illinois

I am trying to update my employer for my child support. I was originally told this would be handled by my ex's attorney's, but I have no proof that ever actually took place. Regardless, I am just trying to update my employer so I can start paying child support but I cannot find/get a straightforward answer from anyone (including the County Circuit Clerk hotline). Any help/resources would be greatly appreciated!

my ex has made a lot of false accusations in his repsonses, statements, and motions. Many of them are categorically false and I have full evidence to prove it. Little things like "mom refuses to reschedule FaceTimes" or "mom agreed to this time but changed her mind". I'm worried I won't be given the opportunity to prove they're false, just because Of the time we have. how likely will a judge actually read my counter evidence? I think it's important to prove he's lying about everything.

edit more context: we're pre-orders, long distance with an infant. when I say I have evidence I mean documentation, emails, call logs, etc. It's all about how I've not been managing his facetimes with our infant well, or not giving him "any holiday time to date" (I traveled to him with baby so that he had Easter. We literally have a court signed R69 for that visit).

How closely do judges follow this? Considering going back to court to modify support order. Currently pay cs. Order is over 4 years old and was worked out in mediation. Recently ran updated figures (CP makes a little more than I do) and results show that CP should be paying child support to me. We have 50/50 custodial time. I know judges typically like to prevent children from experiencing “less than” what they would have at the other parent’s house. I feel like CP will try to show that they can’t keep up the lifestyle that they have for the kids without the supper they currently get. If I go back, could I shoot myself in the foot and end up paying more? I have a new child so could really use the money.

My ex and I established a parenting plan back in 2019 while we were still together, as a “worst case scenario” in case we ever broke up.

It gave him Wednesdays, EoW, alternating holidays and special events, had him paying me $350/month in CS, and named me the domiciliary parent (tie breaking authority).

It was filed with the court in Louisiana.

In 2020 we moved to Florida together.

In 2025 I took out a restraining order against him for repeated DV incidents, and I was granted sole legal and full physical custody, he was ordered to go to family therapy with our daughter beginning immediately, and he was told he could have Wednesdays and EoW after either the therapist approved or he finished batterers intervention.

He did finish batterers intervention two weeks ago, but he never even attempted the family therapy with our daughter. He went to two solo sessions and when she referred him for supervised visitation and reunification therapy instead, he bailed and did not follow through on the guidance.

Now he’s filing to domesticate the Louisiana order, after not seeing our daughter since July 2025.

If it is domesticated, does it take precedence over the restraining order terms, even though they’re more recent?

Yes, I have a lawyer. He’s just really hard to get ahold of.

my wife took our 2.5-year-old child to Minnesota without my consent and said she intended to return to New York, but she never did. I had to file a habeas corpus petition, and she was ordered to return our child to New York. It has now been about two months, and we currently have a temporary 50/50 custody/visitation order. She is now filing for divorce and wants to relocate with our child away from me, but I do not agree. What are her chances of being allowed to move our child?......just fyi my wife family is in minnisota, she does not work, I currently work almost 30 hours a week from home part time, my child is born in new york!

Hi! I'm looking for some advice from anyone who knows Florida family law because we're kind of at a loss on what to do.

I'm 20F and married to my wife, 20F. We live in Florida. We're both working toward becoming nurses in the next couple years, we both have stable jobs, and we have a stable home.

This involves my wife's oldest sister, 31F. She has two daughters, a 2-year-old and a 13-year-old. The girls have different fathers. Since the 13-year-old came to live with us, the 2-year-old's father's family has stepped in and taken on a lot of the primary caregiving for her. We're not trying to get involved in the 2-year-old's custody situation; our concern is specifically the 13-year-old and what was happening before she came to live with us.

Basically, before she came to live with us, the 13-year-old was being put in charge of her 2-year-old sister way more than we felt was appropriate. She was basically the primary caregiver a lot of the time. If the toddler was having a meltdown and the 13-year-old called her mom for help, she'd get yelled at or berated. The mom and 13-year-old were also arguing constantly, sometimes multiple times a day.

Eventually, the 13-year-old started telling me and my wife that she was suicidal. After talking with her mom multiple times, her mom agreed that it would be best for her to stay with us for the time being. She's now been living with us full-time for a few months.

Her mom is completely okay with her staying with us and is willing to sign for concurrent custody. She just doesn't want to take the father to court for full custody because she "feels bad" doing that.

The father is where we're running into problems.

He's supposed to have her every weekend, but he hasn't actually seen her in months. He still refuses to give my wife custody, though. When my wife talked to him about it, his response was basically, "Y'all are gonna have to find another way."

We want to get legal custody/concurrent custody mainly because she's living with us and we want to be able to actually take care of her. We both work at a hospital, and our insurance would cover her, including making her medical appointments basically free for us. Right now we're limited in what we can do because we're not her legal guardians.

We're not trying to take her away from her parents just because we want custody. Her mom agrees that she's better off staying with us right now, and the 13-year-old wants to stay with us too. The problem is that her dad won't consent, and her mom doesn't want to take him to court herself.

So we're looking into whether we can pursue temporary custody ourselves.

Do we actually have a case here?

Would the fact that she's been living with us for several months, her mom supports her staying with us, her dad hasn't seen her in months despite supposedly having weekend visitation, and she was essentially being made responsible for her 2-year-old sister be relevant to a Florida court?

We're obviously going to talk to a Florida family-law attorney, but I wanted to see if this is even something worth pursuing before we spend money on a lawyer.

I also understand that we're her aunt and aunt-in-law, not her parents, so I'm wondering if that makes this significantly harder.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: Thanks for all the advice! It's nice to hear different perspectives. We're definitely looking to getting a family attorney.

Just to point out! When my niece said she was suicidal we sat down and had a conversation about her feelings, gave her the necessary numbers if she ever felt like she couldn't talk to us, took her out of the household that was the reason for the feelings, and got her psychiatric help that we've been paying for out of pocket! I just didn't want to add too many details into the post. Again, thank you!!!

My child’s father went from wanting to know everything about her Monday to saying he wants his parental rights terminated on Saturday. He hasn’t talked to our child in almost 2 years. Last time they spoke was November 2024. He called me using a blocked phone number and I don’t have his address. He also lives out of state (I’m in CO, he’s in CA). I am looking to file to have either sole custody or his rights terminated. I’m not sure which one would be more beneficial for the situation at hand. Our child is 8 years old. Also, since I have zero contact information, how does serving him work? I ran a background check and the addresses and phone numbers are all very out of date.

We are a year into divorce and child lives with me. Spouse has moved over 700 miles away, but has now petitioned court for two weekends a month AND is asking for me to pay 1500 per weekend to cover their travel expenses and lost wages....I have a lawyer, but has anyone heard of anything like this? This would be 36,000 a year. I'm our child's sole financial provider and I'm not rich.

Can anyone tell me how much it might cost to file for Legitimation and what all I might need when filing? Thank you.

I’m in California going through a divorce/custody case involving two young children. There are currently no court orders regarding how we communicate.
We were voluntarily using a court-related negotiation/communication portal, but communication there became extremely conflict-heavy and nothing was getting resolved. I eventually opted out because it was affecting my wellbeing. I did not stop communicating with my ex about the children and continue to contact him directly about pickups, childcare, school, medical needs and scheduling.

My ex and I have a lot of unresolved conflict and very different views of our marriage. He also discusses me publicly online in ways I strongly disagree with, but I don’t let that prevent me from communicating with him about our kids.

I recently saw a public statement from him explaining that he intentionally limits communication with me because he views interacting with me as unhealthy/manipulative. He also acknowledged that when I contact him about the children, it can be “really hard, if not impossible” to get a response from him.
I’m trying to understand how a CA judge or mediator would view both of our behavior.

Would opting out of a voluntary communication portal be viewed negatively if I remained available and continued communicating about the children another way? And how would the court generally view a parent intentionally limiting responses to the other parent when the messages concern legitimate childcare or parenting logistics?

I’m open to criticism of my decision to leave the portal. I mainly want to understand what California family court would consider reasonable communication in this situation.