I really, really want to start a graduate program as soon as I graduate from undergrad next spring. However, I am stuck in a really unfortunate situation. Right before departing for my freshman year at my second-choice school (University of Oregon) to study marine biology, I was sexually assaulted by someone I had deeply trusted. At that point, I was still living in an abusive household, so I had no one to turn to for guidance. I left for school without telling anyone what had happened. My first semester went horribly as I struggled with worsening symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. By the end of the term, I was forced to withdraw and return home (Illinois) to seek therapeutic intervention.
My parents thought I just couldn't cope with the academic pressure of college, although I had been a straight-A student for over two years before the assault, so they refused to send me back to Oregon. I ended up at a local community college for two years, where I built a strong relationship with my core biology professor. He's written me two letters of recommendation in the past, but now he's totally ghosting me! :( I'm so sad because he is the only professor I've had two classes with, and he genuinely seemed to enjoy bonding with me. I excelled in both courses despite continuing to reel from the effects of PTSD, and we'd often chat for hours outside of class. I think I may have forgotten to write him a thank-you email for the last letter, and I'm worried that he doesn't want to support me anymore because of that.
During my time in community college, I also joined a shorebird conservation group. I asked the leader of the program to write me a letter of recommendation for grad school this year, and despite writing one for me in the past for an REU, she now feels like she doesn't know me well enough to write a strong enough letter of rec for grad school. I understand why she feels that way and completely respect her decision, but now I have no idea what to do.
Today, I attend an R1 school in Wisconsin. I have one letter of recommendation secured from a professor who is currently overseeing my undergraduate research project on treefrog bioacoustics. Other than that, the only people I can still turn to are mentors from an internship I did at a public aquarium, an English professor, and a teaching assistant from a genetics course I took.
I have worked so incredibly hard to come back from the monumental setback of being assaulted. I have a reasonably strong CV, have stood out in nearly all my classes as a top participant and performer, and the people I thought would want to support me have no interest anymore. Any advice would be appreciated. This is one of the most devastating things I have ever had to endure.