I wanted to share something that happened recently because I'm still rather taken aback by it, and I'm interested in how other Jews would respond.
There is a woman in a group I'm in who isn't a friend of mine; she's a friend of a non-Jewish acquaintance. The group was created to support a family who were victims of a heinous crime and who have also been subjected to some truly vile defamation. It isn't a political discussion group, and there had been no conversation about the issues she suddenly introduced.
None of us knew that this woman held these views until, completely out of the blue, she started posting in the group about the Bondi Hanukkah massacre. She essentially blamed the massacre and the antisemitism surrounding it on Israel's conduct in the war against Hamas. She called the massacre a "false flag", referred to it as a "post-op", apparently insinuating that Israel was behind it, and called survivors "crisis actors".
This wasn't a discussion she was responding to. Her posts were completely unrelated to the purpose of the group and were simply dropped into a space that exists to support a family affected by a horrific crime.
I challenged her and shared a number of links to numerous articles addressing some of the claims she was making, including material explaining why the allegation that Israel is committing genocide in Gaza is not supported by the evidence. Rather than reading or engaging with them, she immediately responded that she wasn't going to argue with "a Zionist".
My response was: "And I'm not going to keep arguing with an antisemite!"
What disturbed me almost as much as her comments was the reaction of the rest of the group. Only two people challenged and criticised what she was saying and supported me. Most people seemed to prefer simply letting it pass.
The woman who created the group, whom I had regarded as a friend, said that she comes from a military family and is accustomed to people having different beliefs. I told her that disagreement over beliefs is one thing; antisemitism is something entirely different. I pointed out that I can disagree with my own mother and siblings about all sorts of things without that meaning I should tolerate antisemitism.
She then told me that the woman who had made the comments had said she wouldn't talk about the issues in future.
That response left me feeling quite let down. "She won't talk about it anymore" isn't really an answer to what had happened. The problem wasn't simply that two people had differing political opinions. Someone had introduced an antisemitic conspiracy theory about a massacre of Jews into a group supporting victims of a horrific crime, suggested the massacre was an Israeli "post-op", and called survivors "crisis actors".
And, honestly, this has made me back away from the group. I don't feel that the others really understand just how offensive and disturbing this woman's behaviour was. I'm not expecting everyone to share my political views, but I had hoped that people would recognise that there is a very significant difference between political disagreement and antisemitism.
October 7 and the Bondi Hanukkah massacre have both been moments when people have shown their true colours. Some people responded to the murder and suffering of Jews with horror and compassion; others responded by finding ways to blame Jews, Israel or the victims themselves, or by denying what happened altogether. Those responses have been deeply revealing, and frankly, they aren't pretty.
I think that is part of what has shaken me about this. It's not simply that one woman said some horrible things. It's that her comments made me realise that I may have had people in my life whose attitudes towards Jews and antisemitism I hadn't recognised.
I'm wondering if other Jews here have had similar experiences with friends or acquaintances; moments when someone said or did something that suddenly made you realise that a person you'd known, perhaps for quite some time, was actually antisemitic. Have October 7 or the Bondi Hanukkah massacre similarly revealed antisemitism in people you hadn't realised held those views?