r/Kenya • u/Sorry_Height_741 • 1d ago
Discussion Longing
I grew up with a strict father, which meant no friends during childhood, and worse even during part of my adulthood.
But being brought up experiencing such solitude made me crave belonging… Like craving some type of intimacy that a romantic relationship can’t fulfill
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u/Ngwai-Mama40 1d ago
And have you made friends? Or how is your social interaction?
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u/Sorry_Height_741 1d ago
I try my best but I haven’t been putting myself out there sana
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u/Ngwai-Mama40 1d ago
Try with small small events pole pole tu
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u/Independent_Lights 1d ago
Just go out and make friends i was in a similar situation and i actually later realized its not difficult to make friends you just need to meet like minded people
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u/Sorry_Height_741 1d ago
Really? By attending events ama?
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u/Independent_Lights 1d ago
Yes.. events are one way ...also you can hangout in spots you know you'll make friends but you will need to approach people and talk to them but basically its not as scary as it looks
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u/Original_Rock2991 1d ago
meet them where
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u/Independent_Lights 1d ago
Like events and stuff ..i like anime and last week i went to an anime convention and met some new people made friends..i play alot of video games most of my friends i have made from gaming arcades and some i have met online thru video games this what i mean.
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u/Immacrackit 1d ago
Hey stranger
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u/Minute_Strength8644 1d ago
How did that happen in young adulthood, and I mean on campus? Were you still staying at home while in campus or how did that happen?
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u/Positive_Benefit_385 1d ago
In the same boat with u stranger, just tryna figure things out on my own and mi na advice ni we jikaze tu, i know people like us crave real things out of a world that only offers fake and non-lasting outcomes, but it can still work out, you just gotta believe it and work on it.
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u/SyntaxError254 1d ago
Your father loved you and was strict to protect you. Find out what happened to kids who were raised by fathers who were not strict…alcoholism, in prison, dead, drugs, teenage pregnancy, etc. Your father was a loving father, he was not strict, he was loving.
Once you became and adult, you are now fully responsible for your choices. You crave intimacy not because you were raised by a strict father. You have chosen to do so. Your father is just a convenient reason you have picked to try and make sense of your choices. Your mother wasn’t strict, but that didn’t influence you.
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u/Sorry_Height_741 1d ago
My mom wasn’t there, and lol , Kwani tulikua tunaishi na wewe
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u/SyntaxError254 1d ago
Why blame your father and not your mom not being there? Read a book called The Courage to Be Disliked. You are in full control of your future and your choices. If you want intimacy, it is coz that is what you want. It is not because of your past. Do something today so that in future tomorrow morning, you don’t blame it on your past.
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u/Hot_Acanthisitta_967 1d ago
I beg to differ kiasi...some of those who grew up in strict regime houses ended up on those vices .Why? well because they now had the freedom more so highschool campus period . So at times being that strict may save kids from so many bs but doesn't guarantee ending up otherwise,while those of a bit loosen up parents end up just fine.
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u/Cloud_dev1 1d ago
How protective were your parents, coz I had strict parents but they allowed on socializing. Ni hapo tu academics ndio ukileta mchezo nyumba ilikuwa inageuka.