Argument about future careers

[u/Brea_xoxo0]

Ok so me [19F] and my [18M] bf just moved in together after being long distance for over a year, we were laying on the couch and I was watching tik tok and something came up about travel nursing which is what I wanna do when i graduate college and he said him and his mom were talking about it because he just got back from his parents and he said that it would affect his career too because he was supposed to go with me and start school once i finished, we’ve talked about it before and he has been okay with that and I told him I didn’t care I was doing it it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, then he proceeded to say it’s gonna be a really hard career and he doesn’t think I can do it so i stormed off and say in the bathroom to cool off, when I came out he asked me why I was so mad and I said are you kidding me, you just told me you don’t want me to do the career I’ve been wanting to do my whole life, why am I even going to college if you don’t think I can do it, and a little yelling back and forth later I told him he was being selfish and he said he wasn’t trying to be and he’s sorry and I said well that’s not gonna cut it this time, it’s gonna take a lot more than an I’m sorry to fix this one and made him go sleep on the couch, am I the asshole?

Edit, I forgot to mention I don’t graduate for another 4 years and I was okay with doing long distance again but it’s him he doesn’t want to, it was his idea to go with me, I just understand why he brought it up if this isn’t even something we need to worry about anytime soon

[u/airaqua]

Ehmm.. why would he have to move? You are babies, you're not married, you BOTH need to prioritise your education and careers. If that means doing ld every now and then, so be it. And if that's not an option for him; you're not a good match.

Why does he think that you won't be able to do it? As a bf, he should be supportive.

Srsly.. this is why teenagers shouldn't rush into living together and building their lives around a another teenager.....

[u/anonymousstressball]

Umm not to be blunt but I think you two both have different things in mind and want to focus on ur own careers which is completely valid but I do have to agree with the other comment you are younggggggg and maybe shouldn’t have moved this fast but Yh…. Maybe both should focus on what you want to do and long distance if you wish to

[u/DauntlessStars]

Might go against the grain here, but I kind of understand his point of view. When in a relationship (any relationship, but with long distance perhaps even more so), the goal is to eventually build a future together. If you’re planning a career that will take you to a different place every few months, it’s kind of hard to build roots somewhere and start a family and a life together.

That is not to say your dream career is not valid. If that is what matters most to you, go for it. It just might mean, logically speaking, that your relationship might not survive the challenges that come with it.

Like, consider his POV: you’ve just closed the gap at last, and now your partner is saying they’ll go away again and you’ll be back to long distance for an indefinite amount of time.
I can see why it would be frustrating for him.
Your priorities may no longer be the same, and that can happen, but I think at this point you should talk about it and see if there can be a compromise (Is he willing to go back to LD while you work as a travel nurse? Or are you willing to consider another career path in order to stay in the same city as him?).

[u/Submarineto]

I literally canned all my post-uni plans because I met a guy who had a steady job and didn't want the travelling.

Don't repeat my mistake - he never changed, and I have barely travelled. Looking forward to that changing ❤️

[u/prion6]

I'm a nurse who's looking for my first travel contract in the area my bf lives. I'm purely doing this so I can spend some time with him. First of all, you can't just "go be a travel nurse" when you've graduated. You need years of experience before you can jump into any hospital and work without orientation. This would be yeaaars down the line for you. Second, travel nursing isn't really all that lucrative anymore. You will have to pay for your primary place plus accommodations wherever you go. And from a long distance perspective, I can understand why someone wouldn't want a partner whose career goal is traveling.

If this is truly your goal, then just break up and follow your dream. But from the way you're speaking I dont think you really understand what travel nursing entails