F24 CW160 GW140. My starting weight in 2023 was 258 pounds. In febuary of this year I hit 143. It has been an absolute shit show of a 12 months, and in the midst of it 3 pounds from my goal, I totally starting getting loose at the seams after months of upheaval after upheaval after upheaval.
This time last year I was engaged, frankly, ripped as fuck, and was joining the marines. I ran a few 5ks. Felt amazing.
My ex fiance cheated on me (had been the whole time) my waivers were not approved for the marines, my car broke down twice, I left a good job to work for a friend (we are not on speaking terms, I no longer work there, and 3 of the employees from that company are planning to sue that ex friend,) got into an emotionallt abusive rebound relationship, and got kicked out 40 days before moving into my apartment and have been staying with my grandmother. I then had to deal with domestic violence from my aunt I have an OP against.
:D
So yeah, I gained 20 pounds.
I was barely holding it together in the 150 range up until August. I ate 4 Nutella sandwhiches back to back and had to catch my breath a second ago and a grip (and probably new jeans).
This Sunday I officially have lost only 99 pounds.
All this to say ? Life happens. Especially when you lose weight young. Regain is not inevitable, but it shouldnt come as a source of shame if it does happen under very unfortunate circumstances. It often doesnt come as a single fuck it moment, but a slow build up of old habits under stress. Shitting on yourself wont change yesterday and wont make getting back on track easier.
I could sit here and look in the mirror and be ashamed at all the times I have dropped the ball the last year, but especially this last month. Or I could sit back and appreciate the sheer force of will it took to only gain the bulk of that this last month and a half after fighting off 10 pounds back and forth for months.
Ive gained 20, but in this year, looking at my tracking apps, I lost 30. I lost the same 10 pounds 3 seperate times despite the absolute shit show going on. Im sure a lot of you facing regain are in the same boat.
I move into my apartment next week, I figure I will probably overeat in the insane quantities of sweets my grandmother has in her house again, and will not find it in myself to not join her for lunch again. I will probably have taco bell and a beer when I sit on the unfurnished apartment carpet that first night, and I wont workout until the week after once Im done unpacking and certainly wont hit the apartment gym until I feel a bit more strong.
And I imagine, come next febuary, once Im settled, back into my routine, and knowingly too frugal to buy junk or my binge foods into any of the places ive lived, I'll be at my goal weight, probably less ripped, but much calmer and happier and capable of maintaining what I had previously lost for a year again with far more ease.
Be easy on yourself. Dont use life as an excuse to overeat, but dont see circumstantial relapses as an excuse to hate your progress, even if it seems like its going backwards. I learned I can handle 6 major life upheavals in a year without eating to cope, and I dont look as unsightly as I thought I did the last time I weighed this.
And I know that one thing I can always do, no matter the regain, no matter how long it takes to get back on that wagon, is lose it again.