r/Marriage • u/WholeLotta29 • 4d ago
Family Matters Is this dress color too close to my wife’s dress?
Pretty much the title of the post. My wife and I have been going back and forth with my mom over the color of her dress. She refused to let anyone see her dress until the day of the ceremony.
Are we overreacting or is this too close to white?
Edit: just for the record I think it’s white. Sorry if the initial post made it seem like I didn’t agree with my wife.
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u/Catrach4 6 Years 4d ago
She knew that’s why she didn’t anyone see it before the wedding because she knew she wouldn’t be able to wear it. She knew and got away with it. Set boundaries. Your wife should take priority.
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u/vulpesvulpes666 4d ago
Also, it’s just such a weird move to be like ‘you have to wait for my big reveal’ when it’s NOT YOUR WEDDING. It’s not about you.
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u/Natural_War1261 4d ago
Oh, but it is. Do they not realize people either laugh at them or think they're pathetic?
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u/lightsonnooneishome 4d ago
Unfortunately, with this type of person, any attention is good attention, whether or not it reflects poorly on their character.
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u/protexy 4d ago
Unfortunately these types see that as proof of jealousy because they think they looked so much better than the bride. Comments like "wow, don't you think you look too much like a bride" get translated to "omg your soo pretty YOU could be the bride!". They live in delusion land.
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u/raya_sun 4d ago
It's the same type of person that tells others they're "too sensitive" about something so trivial.
All while being smug and secretive about the color of her dress at someone else's wedding and refusing to discuss it. It's synonymous with children sticking their fingers in their ears while stomping.
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u/BUTTeredWhiteBread 1d ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/1w3hyvc/mil_wore_white_to_our_wedding/
Apparently she does think she looks better.
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u/Interesting-Lake747 4d ago
Absolutely THIS. She knew what she was doing. Hope you have you’re wife’s side in all this and beyond
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u/sassyburns731 4d ago
My mom did this at my wedding. She bought a dress at Windsor, a store for teenagers. It was so low cut you could almost see her nipples. And she was the one to walk to down the aisle. I regret not switching to my brother walking me down.
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u/socialcluelessness 4d ago
Yep! Came to say the same thing. The only reason she refused to reveal the dress prior to the ceremony is because she absolutely knew it was an inappropriate dress to wear without the bride's approval.
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u/EntertheHellscape 4d ago
Put a veil on it and that could've been the wedding dress. Off the shoulder, white, floor length, covered in rhinestones/sparkles. Bro that's just a wedding dress.
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u/Majestic_Beyond_2922 4d ago
Right! As a mom, I would never pick a dress for their weddings without at least highly encouraging the bride to be part of the process.
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u/AmazingDrama971 4d ago
She definitly made it on purpose : hiding her dress and so on
Would be pissed of if I were your spouse
I think you should stand up for your wife and tell her it wasn’t acceptable (but i guess she knows it…)
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u/WholeLotta29 4d ago
Yeah we are on the same page. Just wanted to get outside opinions before opening a can of worms. Had a few people come up to us yesterday asking us if we knew about it
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u/Successful_Buffalo_6 4d ago
The fact that people were coming up to you on your wedding day to shit stir about your mother‘s dress is wild.
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u/Wing_Head 4d ago
I’d rather people say something so I felt validated in being bothered myself. But I do see what you mean
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u/hoaryvervain 4d ago
It is, but it’s also petty and unnecessary. Who would be so rude to take away from the couple’s most important day with gossipy observations? People need to grow up.
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u/FilthyThanksgiving 4d ago
After a few drinks, I'm not surprised ppl were asking. It's fucking weird to wear white to a wedding
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u/Elvisdog13 4d ago
Oh I would definitely be talking shit just not to the bride and groom.
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u/Necessary_Scene6809 4d ago
That’s a matter of opinion. At my wedding I will much rather people tell me then me finding out right before I WALK DOWN THE AISLE WITH HER! N will probably be upset if I find out people knew and didn’t come to us about it. Difference between letting me know and gossiping is a matter of importance and someone wearing white at my wedding is pretty damn important to me
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u/Kimbahlee34 4d ago
I’m guessing it was close friends, like the bridesmaids, who told her so she didn’t find out in front of a crowd.
I don’t think it’s gossiping to simply relay truthful information. “Your MIL just showed up in a white dress”.
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u/killalipstick 4d ago
You’d be surprised lol! One of my wedding guests got quite intoxicated and spent most of her night shit talking the groom to anyone who would listen. People are weird.
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u/Ancient_Emotion_2484 4d ago
Especially something like this. This is a day they can't get back. It's a one shot deal. If her dress color was inappropriate, it WILL be noticed by the couple, there's no need to point it out. Be supportive if they bring it up later but don't exacerbate shit.
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u/tacokahlessi 4d ago edited 4d ago
Depends on who it was. My besties are definitely going to be asking to see if they need to “red wine” intervene. My aunts are gunna go for the throat unless I intervene first and my mama… oof. If it’s a regular run a the mill guest I haven’t spoken too, odd but not completely if there’s an open bar.
Edit to add: I eloped because well, my family is intense lol
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u/dixxie__normus666 4d ago
Well shes a pos who wore white to a wedding that isnt hers
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u/Jealous-Cup-4059 4d ago
I’d be shocked if this is the first time your mom has overstepped in your relationship. You’ve had a lifetime of learning how to deal with her. Your poor wife has not. Do not leave managing this crazy woman up to your wife. Get a handle on it and protect her.
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u/WholeLotta29 4d ago
Oh it’s not. Just wanted to hear some opinions on how to deal with this. Usually it’s just directed at myself or other family members but this is the first time she’s rarely disrespected my now wife and want it to be the alst
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u/pink---noise 4d ago
If you love your new bride protect her from this woman. Show your love for her by setting CLEAR and FIRM boundaries now... and establish with actions that you will always have her back, to both of them.
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u/Alibeee64 4d ago
A good photographer should be able to change the dress color in photos, maybe to something like a champagne or light brown so she doesn’t stand out. “Mom, we didn’t realize you weren’t aware that it’s poor etiquette to wear white to a wedding, so we wanted to save you further embarrassment by changing your dress color in the photos.”
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u/parisgal2000 4d ago
bride here!! we changed it to a deeper pink and have ignored her calls and texts. apparently we “humiliated” her. even though the photographer told her we edited the dress because her original was too close to white 🤷🏼♀️
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u/curiouskra 4d ago
“Rarely?” That means she’s been disrespectful more than once. She’s trying to tank your new marriage. No attack on you at all, but if I were the bride I’d be thinking long and hard if I’d want to spend the rest of my life with this kind of behavior without reassurance it would stop. Just because the wedding happened, doesn’t mean it’s a done deal.
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u/Hannymann 4d ago
So I’d ask your photographer if they would be able to digitally alter the dress color in photos, at least so you aren’t pissed off everytime you look at the photos maybe.
Me being me, if my mom or MIL did that, I’d be sure to change it to a color that didn’t suit her real well. Eff that!!
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u/WhatTheActualFck1 4d ago
Ask your photographer to change her dress color on all photos to any other color that blends well.
Do not allow any white dress photos of your mother to be distributed beyond your photographer
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u/romansamurai 4d ago
If she’s anything like my mother. She’ll say it wasn’t the same. Then she’ll blame you for making a big deal out of it. Then she’ll be upset with YOU for not letting her wear what made her feel pretty or that the one time she found a dress that fits. Etc. in other words in the end, even years later. She’ll still not admit to being wrong and occasionally bring it up be wise she believes she was wronged and hurt and everyone else blew it out of proportions.
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u/Weary_Rub_3474 4d ago
Don’t open the can. She cannot UNwear the dress. Keep the can closed. Ice her out. Make her question herself, wait until she asks you, why the distance? Why so cold? Then and only then - bring up the dress.
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u/SceneNational6303 4d ago
This assumes the MIL is a reflective person. Someone who pulls a stunt like this is not going to wonder " what did I do wrong?". Instead she'll post questions on reddit threads that scream " missing reasons". Ice her out for sure but she will not learn from this.
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u/redralphie 4d ago
Just photoshop the dress poop color and when she asks about the photos ask her what color she thought her dress was
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u/Fluid_Actuary1729 4d ago
Agree, then say it must just be one if those dresses that look different colors in different lights.
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u/ShDynasty_Gods_Comma 4d ago
Do this!!
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u/Weary_Rub_3474 4d ago
Yeah, she obviously wanted ATTENTION that’s why she wore white on somebody else’s wedding day. Don’t reward her by dignifying her with any sort of acknowledgment. More attention= reinforcement. Best course of action is to ignore her, be cold and distant until she comes to you asking what’s wrong.
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u/MissStatements 4d ago
Or tell her she certainly got some attention but probably not the kind she wanted. And then don’t elaborate and just say you were asked to keep it confidential.
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u/AmazingDrama971 4d ago
Well I would just tell her that it didn’t went unnoticed and that it was inappropriate but that you don’t want to talk about it anymore
Then low contact for a while
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u/kyleb402 4d ago
Her not wanting to show you probably should have been all you needed to hear. There's really only one reason someone would do that.
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u/MendaciousDonkey 4d ago
Is it even a wedding if a MIL doesn't wear a questionable outfit?
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u/light_of_iris 5 Years 4d ago
Omg😆the color of my MILs was fine but she made sure to tell me that she specifically picked something to cover her cleavage. Yes thx I am intimidated by and concerned about a senior citizen’s breasts on my wedding day, that’s for sure the biggest worry on my mind.
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u/Kimbahlee34 4d ago
I really lucked out with my in laws. My Mom, MIL and SILs were given a color palette so we would match in photos and every single one of them went and bought a standard David’s Bridal type dress in the colors I liked. These days those types of dresses are sold EVERYWHERE! A wedding is not prom. The fact it’s so easy to comply with a wedding dress code is why it annoys me when people do this.
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u/TheRoseByAnotherName 4d ago
I guess mine didn't count? All you hear about online is the crazy ones, because "she wore tan, did my makeup, and said her son was lucky to have me" is boring.
Or that is the norm, and I have to formally apologize for having the only sane MIL in existence.
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u/SuggestionOdd6657 4d ago
Very weird your mother would refuse to let anyone see what she was wearing. I think she planned it that way. Mother of bride x 3 here.
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u/light_of_iris 5 Years 4d ago
Why is it never the moms of the bride that need so much attention? It’s always the boy moms.
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u/Dogs_Without_Horses_ 15 Years 4d ago
Because the mother of the bride loves her daughter and wants her to shine on her wedding day.
Mother of the groom has never considered her son’s wedding day as a day for him to shine. It’s always been about her in her mind - “the day MY son gets married”, “MY son’s wedding”… the focus of weddings has never been on the groom, so mothers of the groom focus on themselves. Women that are like this have been using their sons as their whole personality and source of gaining attention forever, it’s so sad.
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u/bell3420 4d ago
Because boy moms have a tendancy to form overbearing attachments to their sons when they are proud of how they raised them because they hate their marriage or past relationships. This issue tends to be more prevalent in single moms.
I am a mother with a boy, I find this shit weird as fuck, i am also in a healthy relationship. Id still find it weird as fuck even if my relationship sucked though. It doesnt happen to everyone. Sometimes it does happen to women in healthy relationships too, just cause they are overbearing clingy assholes.
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u/SuggestionOdd6657 4d ago
My youngest daughter's MIL was a total nightmare. But son-in-law totally stood up to her. My sister started to pull that shit on her son's girlfriend and I told her to back off. They did get married and now my sister loves her daughter-in-law.
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u/A_million_typos 4d ago
I see two wedding dresses.
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u/Different_Knee6201 4d ago
Me too. I’d legit ask the photographer to color it green or something in the photo edits. And let it be a surprise to MIL just like her dress was a surprise for the couple.
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u/AndriannaP 4d ago
I actually was confused and thought this was a wedding of two women who didn't want to look too similar to each other! I sometimes think people overreact to lighter colored dresses but this is really out of pocket
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u/101bees 15 Years 4d ago edited 4d ago
If I were taking a quick glance through the crowd, I'd mistake that for a wedding dress. The fact that your mom wouldn't let anyone see the dress until the day of the wedding is telling. She knows what she's doing.
ETA: As for the comments saying, "let it go," if it was just a dumb mistake, sure. But I would not be surprised if this is part of a pattern. Be wary with boundaries, OP. If this is her trying to shove your wife aside because she wants the attention from you, that will become a bigger problem if it's not addressed early.
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u/WholeLotta29 4d ago
Oh trust me it’s a pattern. She’ll do something nice for me and ask “would your wife do this for you?”
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u/Piperdiva 4d ago
Oh lordy. You need to grow a strong spine and put a stop to her nonsense now before you start having kids.
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u/Face_with_a_View 4d ago
JFC. That’s so pathetic. I’m sorry you grew up with a mother like that. It’s not healthy or normal.
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u/Greener__Pastures 4d ago
Ew. This is actually gross. Why is she metaphorically putting herself as your wife?
You were probably raised to think this is normal OP, but this is not normal. Go to therapy. Learn some boundaries asap.
Not to be all doomsday, but a self-respecting woman wouldn't stay in this in-law situation long. If you want to have a happy marriage, act on this now.
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u/WholeLotta29 4d ago
Oh I know we’ve talked about distancing ourselves and are on the same page. Trust me she’s like this with everyone. I’m the only one who seems to set up actual boundaries
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u/samuelp-wm 4d ago
Therapy and understand that your wife will be justified in keeping her distance from your mom. Set boundaries now.
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u/ResponsibleMess339 4d ago
oh....just mentioned you had a problem. Let me change that...you have a massive black hole of a problem
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u/Shot-Artichoke-4106 20 Years 4d ago
Oof. Yeah, your mom is a problem. You need to set some healthy boundaries ASAP. Protect your wife, your marriage, and your peace. This competition crap needs to be nipped in the bud.
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u/Cold-Piglet-2454 4d ago
This shouldn’t be a question at all if you have working eyes. Yes, it very much is.
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u/Honest-Librarian-570 4d ago
In the photo, it looks like there are two wedding dresses. She hid it on purpose, without question.
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u/Mental_Watch4633 4d ago
Complete inappropriate, selfish, disrespectful, tacky, controlling, and insecure.
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u/FishFearMe1 4d ago
Love this comment. I’ll add childish, vindictive, narcissistic, and a total bitch move
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u/melanogaster 4d ago
Dude come on, it obviously looks white and like a wedding dress. MILs constantly do this form some reason. What’s done is done, but you need to realize that your mom has some issues! be on the lookout for this kind of attention seeking behavior moving forward. MILs like this will repeat this kind of crazy behavior.
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u/CuriousSquirrel1213 4d ago
Yup- I have a narcissistic mother that has ruined almost every occasion in her own way.
It’s not a huge mystery as to why. It’s because they are jealous they are not the ones getting married to a man as “quality” as they believe they have raised their sons to be. They can’t stand not to be the only woman in their son’s life anymore, and will surely make a crowd be aware of the entitlement in every passive-aggressive way possible to make the day be equally about the MIL, because in her mind, contributing to the birth of the son, trumps everything any other woman will ever be able to do for him, because MIL gave them life.
“Congratulations to the bride and groom? I think not. Where’s MY thank you?”
And if she’s jealous of the wife now, be prepared for if you have daughters.
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u/bell3420 4d ago
As the mother of a son, this shit is so weird and I dont understand it even a little bit, but somehow its a common issue. The only thing I want from my son on his wedding day is a last dance and to see him happy with his new bride. I also wouldnt mind grandkids but im not gonna mention that cause its none of my business😅
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u/Hell_Child 4d ago
Honestly! My son is 10 so I have a while before I have to worry about it, but as long as he finds someone that treats him well and is a decent person I'm good. If they want my help planning, bet. If they don't, cool do your thing and make it awesome. I'm DEFINITELY not wearing white and trying to steal the show bc I'm not a lunatic 🥴
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u/bell3420 4d ago
Im hoping I have a good enough relationship with whoever he decides to marry that im invited to dress shopping, cause I love wedding dress shopping, idk why but its so fun lol, probably cause im a fancy bitch and I love fancy stuff😂
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u/WholeLotta29 4d ago
I think this perfectly sums it up. Thanks for the heads up!
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u/Rollinwithit609 4d ago
She probably wants the fight. “My DIL turned my baby boy against me” vibe is likely. Just stop engaging with her. You and your wife are your family now. Full Stop. Your wife is your partner and you will drop the others who cause you issues if you have a strong relationship with her. You dont need your mom and she only gets to be part of your life if you want her to be. You are an adult married man but your mom doesn’t see that. (From someone who had a MIL who tried to push my pregnant SIL at the top of the stairs then called the cops on me for physically removing her from the house🤷🏼♀️)
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u/dailysunshineKO 4d ago
This would be a good party/NYE dress. Not a MoG dress.
She’s going to embarrass herself if she wears that to the wedding because she’s going to look like one of those crazy MIL’s that can’t let go of their baby boys. She doesn’t want everyone to whisper and gossip about her, does she?
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u/NotEasilyConfused 4d ago
Yes, she does want people to talk about her. If they are talking about her, she has the attention instead of her DIL.
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u/Gladtobealive2020 4d ago
Yes it is way too close to the brides color of.dress
Way too bridal looking
That is why she wouldn't let anyone see the dress prior BECAUSE SHE 100% KNEW IT WAS AN INAPPROPRIATE DRESS, AND SHE IS SELFISH AND DIDNT CARE
If you confront her, she will deny it, she may even fake cry and say how much you hurt her by bringing it up, ans say you guys are causing problems over "just a dress".
But if you are in the united states, EVERY WOMAN, especially those of your mother's age know damn well that was an inappropriate dress due to the color and style. I cant say whether she was competing for attention or what her motives were but I assure you she knew it was an inappropriate dress and hid it beforehand because she knew your fiance (and others too) would tell her she shouldn't wear it. And because she was determined to wear it no matter what, she hid it to avoid being told no. Expect this same behavior in the future, when she wants things "her way" she will stop at nothing to get it.
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u/thecuriosityofAlice 4d ago
OP- back your fiancé up now and establish boundaries that are built out of steel. If you don’t now, while it is early, it will be a nightmare once grandchildren are born.
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u/Quiet_Water0128 4d ago
No mother should make her child's wedding about herself. You want your kid to shine, the spotlight all on bride and groom. Mom refused to let anyone see her dress until the wedding day - now you know why!
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u/Appropriate_Stress93 4d ago
The gold flecks are actually really nice but yes, it is too close and most people avoid anything remotely resembling white at weddings. Did she say anything about being exempt as the mother of the groom?
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u/ThrowawayPiano7 4d ago
It is a nice dress, I love the gold. But unless she's mother of the bride, she looks like she is competing. If it was any other color with the gold, it would be a different story.
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u/ThrowawayPiano7 4d ago
Thats if its bride approval. My mother wore black for mine. And is wearing black for my brothers. My brother's fiancée's mom is wearing a color that looks similar to brides dress. And to each their own. I would never do that to my child.
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u/ineedaname312 4d ago
In some countries the mother of the bride traditionally wears a cream/white-ish dress. Maybe that's where the comment is coming from
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u/Irisversicolor 4d ago
Former bride here! My mother showed up to my wedding in something similar and we made her change. Luckily we had a backyard wedding at my sister's house so we were able to just send her to my sister's closet and have her pick out something else.
She pouted in all photos. Too bad for her, those photos will never be framed.
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u/ThrowawayPiano7 4d ago
Crop her pouting face out and give it to her for mother's day in a frame.
I'm a little petty but if she chose to pout in them all, she should be remembered for her choices 🤣
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u/bell3420 4d ago
Nobody should be wearing a white dress unless the bride approves it, not even the mother of the bride.
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u/TorresLabs 4d ago
It is too close to white for a wedding.
I’m not sure why some people do that. Maybe they are just bad people trying to annoy the bride.
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u/Ambitious_Panic_1355 4d ago edited 4d ago
In my country (Europe) both mother of the bride and mil often wear white/beige/light silver etc. My mother also did it and I think it looks nice because she's like important guest.
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u/BusyZookeepergame758 4d ago
Your mom knew and she didn’t want to be told not to wear it. You need to set boundaries w your mom that is for sure.
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u/Basic-Organization30 4d ago
Ah, so your mom doesn't like your bride? Or has to always have all attention on herself?
She should know better than wearing anything white-adjacent at a wedding when SHE IS NOT THE BRIDE. The fact she hid it from you says she knew exactly what she was doing, which was trying to diminish the bride. Not a good look. Hope you have a nice shiny spine because you're going to need to put Mommy Dearest in her place.
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u/MusicNew1476 5 Years 4d ago
I honestly don’t understand what they’re thinking showing up like brides at theirs sons weddings????
Don’t they understand that EVERYONE can see they are mentally unstable to behave this way???
Sorry you guys had to deal with that. Seems totally unnecessary and stupid
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u/ShowHot3754 4d ago
Your mom wanted to pose with you in a white dress. Let that sink in dude. You gotta let her go lol
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u/Painting-Capital 4d ago
I can only imagine what kind of misery she’s going to cause being a mother in law.
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u/Opening_Box_6337 4d ago
I would print these comments and show her that most people think she’s awful for wearing that dress.
How embarrassing for her that several people at the wedding commented on it.
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u/Objective_Being_7393 4d ago
Marriage life tip, if your wife thinks it’s too close you don’t need the people of Reddit to validate that. Back your wife. You already know the answer, start your marriage on the right foot. I can promise you, this is not the first time you’re going to have problems with your mother. Set your boundaries now.
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u/Classic-Delivery3875 4d ago
See. This is wild. I asked my future DIL to come dress shopping with me. Ain’t no one gunna tell me I am taking away from her day. Babes you just pick what you want me to wear.
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u/Few-Extension-5973 4d ago
The correct response. Focus is on the bride, and yet MIL was trying to upstage her, that mentality will never change. OP should cut contact, she doesnt deserve ti be part of their lives. What a narcissistic woman.
I'd never sabotage my relationship with my child/future DIL or grandkids just to get attention at a wedding. Yuck. I'd also just ask what they want me to wear. No way i'd risk it haha
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u/Dry-Economics-3372 4d ago
Ohhhhhh your poor wife. Yes, thats a cream/white dress....and the fact that she wouldn't let anyone see it until wedding day, SCREAMS that she knew what she was up to and if someone saw the dress they would advise her to get a different one. She knew what she was doing.
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u/MidnightChildren2022 4d ago
Yes - I think you need to tell your mom to cut it out.
Good on you for supporting your partner! ❤️
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u/Friendly_Interest_62 4d ago
Yep. It's white. Now you now that your mother have 0 respect for your wife. In the future conflicts you should remember this, regardles how innocent your mother will act.
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u/mandy_3500 4d ago edited 4d ago
Your mom definitely knew what she was doing since she didn’t want anyone to see the dress before the wedding.
I’d have our photographer change the dress to a different color in all the pictures. That would be a black dress in every pic she saw.
Edit:spelling
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u/DistinctBlueberry818 4d ago
My MIL did this. It was “silver” sequined. Still pissed. It’s been 8 years.
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u/KittyBookcase 4d ago
Your photographer can change the color of her dress. Pick her "favorite" color. Or blend her into the background.
Mil was definitely trying to cause issues.
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u/max_power1000 15 Years 4d ago
She knew exactly what she was doing.
For those at home: White, light cream, pale silver, gold, and yellow are all colors that are off-limits for any article of clothing aside from maybe pants or a blazer (definitely not a full suit though).
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u/Only_Tip9560 4d ago
At the end of the day, there was only one bride at the wedding and it wasn't your mother.
She knew what she was doing, she concealed it because she knew it could cause upset.
How deeply sad.
Has your mom been a problem in your relationship before this?
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u/lana-deathrey 4d ago
YO I tried a wedding dress on in that exact fabric, it is a fucking bridal gown.
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u/gingersnappie 4d ago
Sorry but this was a dick move by your mom. It’s very much universally known you do not wear white to a wedding. (This is outside any theme weddings where the couple explicitly says otherwise, of course)
Handle with care, but back your wife’s feelings 100%. It’s up to you to manage your own parents, not her.
Good luck my friend.
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u/dehydratedrain 4d ago
What. A. Bitch.
However, it might be worth asking the photographer to change the color in all professional pics.
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u/mlucasl 4d ago
If it were my wedding, she would be kicked out, I don't care if it was my mother or whomever. (Saying this as a man)
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u/Few-Extension-5973 4d ago
I said this as a woman haha, she wouldnt have even made it in the building. The disrespect is gross
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u/Rollinwithit609 4d ago
They are both wearing wedding dresses. That is 100% the reason you couldnt see it before. She knew what she was doing and didn’t want to give you the chance to stop her.
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u/Frosty__Mushroom 4d ago
So glad my husband wouldn’t tolerate this nonsense from his mom. You dropped the ball by ALLOWING your mother to make her own rules by not showing the dress prior and thinking she could get away with this.
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u/PM_ME_ARTSY_STUFF 5 Years 4d ago
Yes, and she knew what she was doing.
Hard truth: Mom is trying to sabotage marriage. Rein her in immediately.
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u/lemon_tea 4d ago edited 4d ago
I don't why anyone would ever wear anything close to white to a wedding if they aren't the bride. If you're questioning if it's "too" close, it is. There are 16.8 million colors recognizable by the human eye. She just needs to stay away from 1.
Or, play an uno-reverse and have everyone wear white (with your wife's assent, of course), your wedding party wears a color of your choosing, and MiL stands out like a sore thumb.
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u/Best-Run-8414 4d ago
I knew it was your mom before I read the caption 🫠 it’s white-adjacent and she did it on purpose.
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u/Jhmesi 4d ago
TO ME, it’s not a white dress and it’s fine.
Idk my mom and mother law HAD TO LOOK DROP DEAD GORGEOUS FOR MY WEDDING. Idk why females get bent out of shape about a mom or MIL looking AMAZING at weddings. It could be a blk thing but 🤷🏾♀️ the dress doesn’t look like the mil is competing nor does it look white. So it would be fine. Yall must not have good relationships with yall MILs I wonder what her moms dress looks like
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u/aliceinwonderlandiam 4d ago
I agree about the dress, I’d also be curious to know what her moms dress looked like. To me the dress has an almost pink tone to it, or like a rose-beige look, but looks neither white or like a wedding dress 🤷♀️
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u/kofubuns 4d ago
Ok so different take here … forget about the dress… is it really close to white? Yea. Is anyone going to ever mistaken her for the bride? No. Did she go in and embarrass herself with people talking about how inappropriate SHE is. And let them … because knowing this type of personality … if you forced her to wear something else, she would’ve found another way to get attention at the wedding in potentially much more damaging and unpredictable ways. Her wearing this dress will change nothing about how people see you or the bride or the wedding.
I do think it’s really important that you start to create boundaries in general between her and your new family and ask start to define appropriate behavior for her. Especially if she is the type to be overprotective over her son and her insistence to be overly involved in your family matters. Watch how she speaks to your wife and draw clear boundaries of appropriate behavior. If you guys are planning on having kids, I think that is an absolute critical foundation you set ahead of time so you aren’t trying to “fix” your mom while preparing for a child.
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u/TrashGouda 4d ago
Nice dress but inappropriate at a wedding if the bride wears cultural white and you're not the bride...
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u/MoonTime44 4d ago
Yep that’s a white dress. Not nice of anyone to do that at someone else’s wedding. Seriously, some MILs are ridiculous
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u/PageStunning6265 4d ago
Yeah, no, that dress is way too white to wear unless the bride is on board.
But instead of going back and forth, can you just have the photos with her edited so her dress is a different colour? That would probably teach her a bigger lesson than arguing about it.
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u/leajaycro 4d ago
Your mom could’ve worn this dress to her own wedding it’s that much of a bridal dress.
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u/Nobilian 4d ago
Just saying, MIL in white at the wedding is an automatic disqualifier from participation in her kid’s married life, time with grandkids, vacations and the rest.
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u/Pretty-Flight1440 4d ago
Being offended is a choice. We can choose to allow something to upset us, or we can accept other people are inconsiderate and move on. Some people walk around upset all the time, others laugh at a LOT. Choose your path wisely.
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u/GogusWho 4d ago
It looks like a wedding dress. Do you want everyone thinking you're marrying your mom?
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u/Foreign_Climate_9351 4d ago
it's champagne, looks like a mother of the bride/groom dress
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u/BackInTheRealWorld 4d ago
My wife and I have been going back and forth with my mom over the color of her dress. She refused to let anyone see her dress until the day of the ceremony.
Tell her strait up that anyone showing up in white, or near white, will be directed to the reception area and will not be present for the ceremony.
Then enforce it.
You are LEAVING your mothers family to form a new one with your wife. Your wife is the most important person now, your mom is a distant second (until kids come)
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u/EnvironmentalAd397 4d ago
Gotta ask mom what kind of incestuous bullshit is she on. Did she wish she was the bride, in your wife's place??
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u/ZealousidealPlate187 4d ago
How much attention does your mommy need and why did she feel the need to look like a bride at your wedding? That’s creepy. Set some boundaries with her, this is inexcusable behavior
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u/Sudden-Flower-9999 4d ago
To hide the dress until day is shady. It’s a blush color, very close to white and looks very similar to a wedding dress. My mom and MIL wore cream/ivory. Lighter colors are more traditional but usually more matronly. Ppl can get a little crazy around weddings, moms included. Tread lightly, this really won’t matter in 10 years
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u/abc24611 4d ago
Only one person wears white at a wedding.