So my usually hours are 8am-6pm Mon-Fri. Yesterday MB asked me if I would be willing to come in early on Friday. She didn’t know the exact time she’d need me but she said she’d talk with DB about it. I told her that should be fine but I needed to check my schedule and we agreed to circle back on it. Then last night she texted and told me they’d need me to come in at 6:30am. I’d looked at my calendar and realized I had an event Thursday night and would be out fairly late, too late to get to work at 6:30am the next morning.

I texted back and said I couldn’t come early Friday morning because I have a late event Thursday evening. In hindsight that was probably too much info and I should have just said I can’t come. She said that was fine but in the future there may be other times when they need me early when DB is out of town and she wanted to know if I’d ever be able to come early in the future. I said I didn’t know because honestly no I won’t really ever want to work from 6:30am-6pm even if I don’t have a late night the day before. And she asked me to please try and coordinate my late nights better so that if they need me early, I’ll be available.

Is it just me or is that a huge overstep? My contracted hours are 8am-6pm so I certainly make sure that I‘m in bed early enough to be at work by 8am. I’ve never called out or arrived late because I was too tired or something. Otherwise, I feel like she has no right to tell me I need to plan my schedule around being at work at 6am at random. That’s literally just being on call for additional hours and they don’t pay me to stand by like that. AIO?

To start, MB is currently pregnant with baby #2 due next year around NKs 2nd birthday. When I was offered the job, I was told that the job would last at least until the second child is a year old (at the time, they were trying for a baby but not pregnant yet)

MB has me write down everything in a book on the kitchen counter. Meals, naps, etc… when I got here this morning I opened the book and there was a pros and cons list for daycare and pros and cons for the length of her maternity leave (she gets to choose how long she goes on leave for)

Based on what was written down, it looks like they’re planning on enrolling the children in daycare when her maternity leave is over. Which would mean that I am probably losing my job 3-6 months after the second baby is born, if not sooner.

Every day when I leave, my NP turn on the tv, give one kid (6) the switch and the other (3) a tablet. And everyday they get bored and get into things they shouldn’t and the parents don’t do anything about it. Yesterday i came in to a brand new wooden puzzle the DB had bought for the kids already missing three pieces and the board already destroyed. This morning i came in to all the paints that i bought all mixed up, all over the tables, the floor and the walls. Yesterday I set up an activity for today that was going to be a cutting activity for the youngest which I had to print out at the library. It was put away in a designated shelf that is mine for activities. Today I came in and the papers were not only on the floor and had footprints on them, but several were ripped, and I paid six bucks just to print them, let alone find them. And don’t get me started on them wanting me to potty train but putting a diaper back on and literally locking the three year old out of the bathroom just so he won’t play in the sink water (which he knows not to do when I’m around.)

I’ve been with my nanny family for almost 4 months now. This is their first time having a nanny and it’s my first nanny job, so I’m trying to figure out what is normal/expected versus what I should be pushing back on. I’d really appreciate other nannies’ perspectives because I’m feeling pretty stuck.

For some background on my experience, I have an AAS degree in Early Childhood Studies, over 2 years of experience as a lead teacher in a daycare (primarily working with the 1–18 month age range), and 7+ years of experience working with children through babysitting, daycare, and after-school care positions. This is my first nanny position, though, so I’m still learning what is considered normal in the nanny world.

When I was hired, I asked for $23/hr, but they ultimately offered me $20/hr. I also noticed that they didn’t have my nanny contract ready until the day I started, and the hours listed on the contract were fewer than what we originally discussed. I realize I should have been more firm about these things before starting, but I was excited to get my first nanny position and didn’t know what was normal.

My main responsibility is their two daughters, who are almost 2 and 3. They also have two older boys (11 and 12/13, I believe). I don’t provide the same level of care for the boys, but during the summer they were home every day while their parents were working, so technically they were also under my supervision. For them, I mostly made meals/snacks, let them go to friends’ houses, or allowed friends to come over. Now that school is back, that’s no longer really an issue.

I did wonder whether having the boys home all summer should have meant additional compensation since I was responsible for four children instead of two, even though the boys were pretty independent. Is that something that would normally warrant additional pay?

My schedule is Monday–Thursday. I’m technically scheduled for 34 hours, although in reality it’s usually closer to 32.

I have not been given car seats yet, so I still can’t take the girls anywhere outside of the house.(other than walks in the stroller around the neighborhood) I would really like to be able to take them to places like the library, park, zoo, etc., but haven’t been able to.

There have also been some issues with illness. The girls got HFM, and I wasn’t told/asked about it ahead of time. I found out when I arrived Monday morning, and I still worked the two days before I left for a trip. A couple weeks later, the family came back from a trip and the girls had HFM again, but this time the boys also had it, and I was still expected to work. We don’t currently have a sick policy in our contract, which I realize is something I should have had in place from the beginning.

Another thing that has made me uncomfortable is that they have asked me to work extra hours or come in on a weekend for a date night because I was paid while they were out of town and therefore supposedly “lost out on money.” I understand guaranteed hours are something families pay for even when they don’t need childcare, but I don’t think I’m responsible for making up hours because they went on vacation.

The biggest issue has come up recently with my hours/pay.

They told me they wanted to reduce my guaranteed hours from 34 to 26 hours/week, while increasing my pay from $20 to $21/hr. I told them I couldn’t realistically or financially make 26 hours work. They asked what I realistically need, and I told them that ideally I need 35+ hours (closer to 40 would be best for me) and/or a rate closer to $23/hr or more.

Their main concern seems to be money. They’ve talked to me several times about their finances, including how much the mom actually takes home after paying me. She apparently got her job partly because they wanted to bring in additional income, but after paying for childcare, they don’t feel like they’re bringing home enough extra money.

They’ve now suggested possibly paying me cash and having me handle my own taxes because they believe that would save them money. They said they could potentially give me closer to 40 hours at $20/hr if they could pay me cash and avoid the nanny tax/payroll service.

I told them I would prefer to remain on a W-2 because I like having everything handled properly and don’t want to be responsible for figuring out all of the taxes myself.

I’m feeling really conflicted because I genuinely like the family and the girls, and I don’t want to leave them. At the same time, I don’t know if this position is financially sustainable for me either. I was already planning on asking for a raise within the next couple of months, but now that they’re saying money is tight, I don’t know how realistic that is.

So, nannies, what would you do in my situation?

Is $20/hr reasonable for this position/experience, or should I be looking for $23+?

Would you expect additional compensation for being responsible for the two older kids all summer?

How would you handle the HFM/sick policy situation?

Is it normal for a family to ask you to make up guaranteed hours because they were on vacation?

Would you accept the cash arrangement they’re proposing?

Would you stay at 32–34 hours at $20 if they agree to keep you there, or start looking for another family?

And most importantly, am I expecting too much by wanting 35–40 guaranteed hours and around $23/hr?

I know some of this is probably on me for not having everything clearly negotiated before I started. I’m just looking for honest advice from experienced nannies about what is normal and what isn’t.

Hi everyone!

I am a nanny to 2 sweet kiddos for ~30hrs a week. On Monday, MB mentioned her nephews (I think ages 2 and 6)
are going to be spending 2 days this week at their house as all their camps ended, and school doesn’t start for 2 more days.

Am I crazy to think that it seems like MB/DB think I will be watching the kids? 4 is a lot- more then I would be comfortable with and a whole lot more then I get paid for. Is this typical?

DB is out of the house all day at work, I never see him. MB works from home so was thinking at first maybe she was gonna take a day off and just hang with us?? But when I think back on how it was phrased it seems like it’s supposed to be my responsibility…. YIKES.

Is this normal? Do I have any grounds to be annoyed if this does happen? Thoughts & comments encouraged, help a girl out🙇🏽‍♀️🙇🏽‍♀️

My job officially ended a month ago. I had been with the family for three years. During that time they had another child and I was caring for both of the children of course I was extremely attached to both of them. We would always have very fun days lots of running around and playing and laughing. I would always send videos to the mom. She did inform me around late January that she was thinking about putting the children in daycare. They are only 3 1/2 and 2 yrs old anyway I appreciate her giving me a long lead time that being said I still did my job to the highest quality! And let me give you a little insight not only that I care for the children but the house would be completely an auto mess every time I walked in there dishes from the weekends cooking would be in the sink on a Monday morning, not just one dish, but it would be piled high and this was constant every shift. It was very rare that I walked in then there was not anything piled in the sink and of course I just did the dishes loaded. The dishwasher did the children’s laundry. The kids had an awful lot of toys and they were never told by the parents to put the toys away so again I was the one that when they were with me we put away all the toys immediately first thing in the morning and then would bring out toys and put them away after playing before nap. I was never sick not one day in three years. I never let them down. I was always amenable was open to last-minute schedule changes and some of those involved very early mornings 5:30 am start time and I just accommodated this was not a contract job, so I did not get paid when Christmas rolled around and they took off two weeks. I learned my lesson trust me anyway my last day came and it was just bizarre. She just said goodbye to me and I went to give her a hug and I was the one that said thank you so much for this opportunity and I have loved every moment of loving on your children and being with them and I said please let me know how school goes. I would love to just hear how their first week goes. I wasn’t expecting a gift or any kind of anything which was good because I didn’t get that she didn’t even say thank you and the door shut and of course I burst into tears and walked to my car. I held out some hope that I might hear something after their first week of school nothing we are now a month on. I think about the children every day and I know how attached we all were they would cry when I would leave for the end of the day and cling onto me quite often I guess my question is to nanny’s how do you just let it go? Part of me wants to reach out but the other part of me does not feel that it would be appropriate and maybe that is just the end of the story and to nanny employers would there be some reason as to why that was the ending? Or am I overreacting and reading too much into it? I do have a brand-new job and the family is fantastic guaranteed hours they even say thank you to me at the end of the day which I haven’t heard in three years so it feels nice to be appreciated.

I was chatting with my MB after lunch and she asked me something I thought was so funny. She said she noticed I always have the car radio set to the news (I use their car to drive NK around) and she wanted to know how I’m able to listen to “grown up” stuff because NK always “makes” her put on kid music in the car. I was like “uhh, I just tell him no” and she genuinely reacted as if she’d never thought to tell him that before 😭

Like, NK is 3, he can’t “make“ her do anything! Why do some parents act like they can’t just tell their kid no??

Hi y'all!

I started nannying for a new family about three weeks ago. I love the kids (ages 2 and 4), and the parents are super nice. It's been a lovely gig.

Today, the 4-year-old went to change clothes and I noticed that she had a huge, blistering rash across her torso and one armpit. I texted her mom to let her know, and her mom told me that she knows, that it's molloscum, and that it will probably be there for roughly a year more.

So. I had never heard of this before. But I've done some Googling and have found that it's, like, pretty contagious, and that I need to avoid skin-to-skin contact. Which is difficult, because then I couldn't really pick her up. I've read that adults don't typically catch this and it's mostly a contagion risk to children, but I have a weird immune system (like, I caught chicken pox as a fully vaccinated adult).

Do I need to be worried that I'll catch this? I don't want to sound dramatic, but I think I'll actually lose my mind if I catch a blister / wart infection that takes 6 to 18 months to clear up 😅.

I’m considering a position where I will be picking up NKs regularly. It’s not a long drive, but it is my personal car. Have not discussed driving family car. They will provide booster seat.

I’m worried for worst case scenario if there is an accident or something. What do I ask from the family? Do I check with my auto insurance? Do we have a written agreement? What should be on it?

In the US. Thank you for opinions!

So this is my first nanny gig and the family has a parent who works from home part time. Now please tell me if I am being an asshole or over reacting but I feel like the parent “takes over” a lot and I’m just kinda there…

Now I knew going in that the parent would be “available” for help but it’s getting the point where I am just standing there while the parent plays with the child (toddler) and all the little house chores can get done in an hour so I am just left twiddling my thumbs. I will be playing with the child and then parent will leave their office and come out and obviously the child will go to them which again I understand it’s their kid obviously they can play together! But when it’s the majority of the hours I’m there I can’t help but feel like I’m not really doing my job. Then with meals time they will take over and start feeding the child and not let the child feed themselves and even bring over different food for the kid even though the child is eating just fine with me. It is getting to be an every day occurrence and I am not sure if I should say anything or what I would even say without sounding like “Don’t play with your kid”

!!! This is a bit long sorry, more of needing advice and a vent combined !!!!

okay so i need some help determining if i should quit my job or ask for a raise or what.

i nanny for a family member (2 toddlers) for 9 hours a day, several days a week with no real break (unless i finish my chores when the kids are napping). When i first started it was just the older one. We would play all day and that was my top priority and when she was sleeping i would help with things like dishes, her laundry, vacuuming up her crumbs, etc.

over time my family member has been slowly adding things to the “to do” list and when i walked in to the house recently there was a printed daily checklist with a long list of tasks. All of which have to be completed before i can leave. Many of them do pertain to the kids but the ones that i feel like maybe don’t are
-handwashing and putting away pots and pans
-taking out the trash if it’s full
-emptying and loading the dishwasher
-cleaning out the coffee machine and filling it with water
-vacuuming crumbs on main level (i usually spot sweep after we eat lunch and snacks, and i personally don’t let them eat in the living room but the parents do)
-bringing any packages inside the house

I also get asked almost weekly to bring the garbage cans up the extremely long driveway, or do miscellaneous tasks like make homemade snacks for the parents or put sheets on the guest beds. Things like emptying and loading the dishwasher i don’t mind and I do make a coffee when i get here in the mornings but so does each family member. One or both parents are also frequently home when i’m working and are always near us which makes watching the kids even more difficult.

It’s not really the actual tasks that bother me, they are all fairly easy, but the nature of all of these little things that add up that i haven’t had to do before.

I get paid mid-$20s/hour which is what we agreed to when the second child was born but i didn’t have this heavy list of daily tasks. I love the kids more than anything and really don’t want to leave them but I feel so taken advantage of and it makes it really difficult to get through my days here. What used to fill my cup now completely drains it.

So if anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. Please don’t hesitate to let me know if I’m overreacting too. It may be completely fine and just seems bad to me because I’m slowly reaching my limit, which is why i’m looking for outside opinions.

We are looking to hire a part time nanny for the fall and are considering hiring someone who would bring her child (3yo) while caring for our two children (2yo and newborn). Some of the reasons we are considering this arrangement:

- Her rate is about $5-$10 less per hour than the”going” rate for our area.

- I am a teacher and she is willing to work based on my school year schedule and not need GH or hours in the summer. She also has a school age child so she prefers not to work on school vacations, snow days, summers etc. since she will have both her kids home on those days.

- She lives in our neighborhood and my oldest and her child play well together. We also like that we know her.

- We have a large fully finished basement that is set up similarly to a preschool with stations. There is also a bedroom down there we can set up for for kid naps. So we do have plenty of space in an area that is completely childproof which makes me slightly less concerned about liability and safety.

I would love to hear perspectives on all sides with this whether you’re a nanny or NP. I know there are pros and cons but I would love to hear real experiences.

This is a shortened version of my previous post, i think it was a little too long for people to read so I didn’t get much feedback🤣

I nanny for a family member nine hours a day, several days a week watching two toddlers. I have no real break in the day besides maybe a few minutes if I get all of my chores done when the kids are napping.

my nanny parents, who I’m related to, have slowly been adding to the list of chores over the years. It’s been things like do the kids’ laundry and dishes, and clean up after them. Basic stuff that I don’t mind at all.

Recently, I walked in to the house, and there was a list on the counter of chores that I need to check off before I can leave. A lot of of them are stuff that deals with the kids, but there are about seven things that have nothing to do with them at all, like cleaning the coffee machine and filling it (I do make a coffee each morning but so does everyone there), taking out the garbage, hand washing pots and pans, getting packages from the mailbox and front door, vacuuming the living area (which the kids don’t want to eat in when i’m there but the parents let them), etc. Occasionally (almost weekly) they’ll ask me to do things like bring the garbage cans up to the house and put the sheets on the guest beds.

Another interesting thing is that the parent is always around and if feels like they are just supervising me while i’m supervising the kids. I would use this time to do chores because i was like “what am i even here” for but then they had a talk with me about how the expectation is that my full attention is on the children even when they are around because they are doing other things? little interesting to me but whatever.

they are extremely wealthy and pay me mid – $20s an hour. wondering if there is a way I can ask them for a raise politely? Or if it’s even a valid reason to?? I feel completely taken advantage of and more like a housekeeper than a nanny and I am slowly burning out.

I am also trying to put myself through school and they are the ones that pushed me so hard to go back to it. I now have no time in the day for schoolwork or anything and it just doesn’t really feel worth it to me anymore but the kids are my best friends so i really don’t want to leave.

Please be honest if you think I am being dramatic or anything and what you think would be a reasonable hourly rate to ask for! Thank you!

A nanny agency posted this looking for a “mothers helper“ role, then proceeds by saying it is a unique combo role of both a house manager and nanny but the pay is $21-25. Is this not insanely low for this role? Also just in general from my experience as a nanny usually the part time role pays more since it makes it hard to find other part time roles that can go with it. This isn’t a mother’s helper role, correct? Need to know if I’m delusional because someone else commented about that in the Facebook post and I liked it and the agency person got pissed in the comments lol. Here’s the job post:

✨ NOW HIRING: Mother's Helper ✨

Do you love kids, love a tidy home, and love the feeling of helping a family breathe a little easier? We're looking for warm, reliable, proactive people to join our team as Mother's Helpers, supporting local families right in their own homes.

This isn't a typical nanny job or a typical cleaning job. It's both, and that's exactly what makes it great. One afternoon you might be folding laundry and prepping dinner while the baby naps. The next, you're on school pickup duty and helping with homework and bath time. Families book in 3-hour time blocks, so every shift has a natural rhythm, and no two days look quite the same.

💛 WHAT YOU'LL DO • Fold laundry, tidy, and organize the home • Assist with light cleaning and meal prep • Help with school pickups, routines, and daily transitions • Support busy families in creating calm, organized homes • Care for children (infants through school-age)

🙋 WHO YOU ARE • Warm, kind, and trustworthy • Highly reliable and punctual • Comfortable balancing childcare with household tasks • Organized and proactive • Flexible and adaptable

🏡 WHO WE ARE We're a woman-owned home care agency matching Mother's Helpers with local families across [county inserted here] who need an extra set of hands with housekeeping and childcare. We take care of matching you with families who are the right fit, so you can focus on doing what you do best.

✅ REQUIREMENTS • Prior childcare or household support experience • Reliable transportation and a valid driver's license • Availability for consistent weekly hours • Comfortable working in family homes • Willingness to travel within and around [removed area for this Reddit post]
• Must be able to obtain all three PA background clearances required to work with children:

• PA Child Abuse History Clearance (Act 33)

• PA State Police Criminal Record Check (Act 34)

• FBI Criminal History Record Check (Act 114)

💵 COMPENSATION Starting at $21.00–$25.00/hour, depending on experience.

🗓️ BENEFITS • Flexible schedule • Consistent, local hours • Be part of a growing, supportive team

📋 EXPERIENCE • Childcare: 1 year (preferred) • Housekeeping/household management: 1 year (preferred)

I recently started a new nanny position and so far I really love the family and the job. The parents are great, the kids are school aged, and my responsibilities are primarily childcare with some light child related tasks/errands.

When we were discussing the position, I originally asked for 25 hours a week because I figured that would be enough time to get everything done and would minimize downtime. The parents very graciously offered me 30 guaranteed hours instead, which I really appreciate.

The thing I’m struggling with is that there is naturally some downtime before school pickup or between things. I always make sure everything that needs to be done is finished first laundry, tidying up after the kids, errands if there are any, etc. Once the kids are out of school I’m usually busy with pickups, activities and whatever they have going on.
Yesterday, for example, I had finished everything before school pickup and one of the parents was working from home. I found myself getting anxious because I felt like I needed to keep finding something to do, even though there really wasn’t anything left.
So I’d love to hear from parents who employ nannies: if your nanny has completed everything you expect of them and there’s occasionally an hour or so of downtime, does that bother you? Do you expect them to constantly find something to do, or are you comfortable with them relaxing until they’re needed again?
I think I’m having a hard time remembering that I’m also being paid to be available during those hours, not necessarily to be actively doing something every single minute. I’d love to hear how parents view this because I want to get out of my own head about it!

My daughter is 2.5 and very much a normal sized toddler (like 40% percentile weight, 30% percentile height). She has recently started saying repeatedly that she’s heavy.

This first happened with my husband who was picking her up to change her diaper and she said “ her own name is heavy”. It caught my husband offfuard and he was like “huh? No you’re not” but since then she’s said it multiple times. One time I was trying to explain to her that I can’t pick her up right now (I’m post C-section) when I was doing her diaper changes on the floor. She said the same thing “oh, her name is heavy” and I was like “no…mama has an ouchie”. We were both confused as to where this is coming from, but turns out our nanny has been telling her she’s heavy and she’s repeating it.

Our toddler likes to go back and forth from the swing to the slides at the park and I guess nanny got tired of repeatedly having to take her in and out of the swing so she tells her she’s too heavy to do so. Is this worth bringing up? Am i being too sensitive? Shes said it like 5-6 times now and I heard nanny say it again the other day when she wanted to wash her hands in the sink a second time. She’s a little girl, i don’t want her to start thinking like that about herself.

UPDATE: Wow I didn’t really expect to get these many responses. Appreciate everyone who took the time to leave a respectful comment! I am planning on mentioning to nanny and ask her if she can just adjust what she’s saying. I usually say something like you’re getting so big/tall, or my back is hurting or mama is getting tired, something like that.

Tbh this post just came from getting caught off guard with our kid repeatedly telling us she’s heavy anytime we pick her up or don’t, and just curious if others thought it was worth mentioning. That’s it, it’s not that deep. Our nanny is great otherwise, I definitely don’t think there’s anything intentional there and I don’t equate “heavy” as her body shaming her. I’m not fatphobic nor am I coddling my child, nor am I projecting any insecurities on my kid. I’m literally 2 months postpartum I do not have the time or energy to do anything other than survive currently lol. Some of you guys need to chill out.

So for context I’ve been with nanny family for 4 years too long. I have truly enjoyed watching nk grow and watching them hit milestones although the kids have their moments I truly enjoyed working with them . Parents not so much MB is pretty much the main parent that handles everything. She often and time and time again takes advantage of me mostly because I’m a people pleaser and a push over that allows her to do so . I haven’t gotten a raise the whole time working with her until last December . I don’t call out honestly ever in the four years I am constantly changing my schedule around for her and bending my life to fit around hers.. There has been time where she has gone on vacation and says that she’ll give me an extra day the following weeks and then the “ extra days” are 4 hours shifts that not equally the weekly hours ( I work 27 hours a week with her)

Recently both kids got sick and so I had come in all week . This so happened to be the same week I was suppose to work 4 days and I was really banking on the extra money because I have school text books to pay for . When I came in on Friday I was expecting to be paid the full four days that we had schedule but instead she paid me for 3 days and it was still short 30 dollars of my regular pay .. I was furious and that was really my last straw . I can go on and on about all the times she has messed my money up or Change things around snd it winded up hurting me in the long run all because I am accommodating and putting her first. I have been thinking about leaving and having this conversation honestly for probably a year now.

One problem I do have is that I have her on social media ( I know such a regret but I was kinda against the wall she had asked me to add her back after her request sat for a bit ) and I know she’s actively looking at my stuff. I hate that nannying can become so personal and that makes it harder to leave especially when she expresses that her kids love me etc but I don’t feel the same way . My ask is how did you guys have the conversation of leaving after being with a family for so long ? Was it in person or written in text ? Considering both parents work from
Home I’m guessing I’d have to have this conversation in person which is difficult because I don’t want to have the conversation in front of the kids. How much notice did you give ? If I could I would quit in text and not come in the next day but I obviously can’t do that. Please tell me your stories and maybe I can musk up the courage to quit.

Frozen meals and fresh items for sandwiches? Not just snacks?

My nk’s have this really good friend who’s also their neighbour aged 8, my nk’s are girls aged 4, 7 and 9. Today while I was watching them their friend came over and they decided to play dress up with the mums heels and dance together which I have no problem with. However, nk’s friend was telling them to pretend to be drunk and that they’re sexy and teaching them how to twerk on boys. They also decided to do fake tongue rings. I found this a bit disturbing considering she’s 8. Should I inform the mum about this?

Hi all. Currently working for 2 new families in a nanny share kind of thing. One of the kids (boy age 3) is having a very hard time adjusting. He will cry and scream for hours when his parents leave. Last time it was so bad, the dad had me go home an hour early because he wouldn’t stop screaming for his dad who was working from home. I didn’t feel like it was a good idea to give into the tantrum - but I’m not going to tell them how to parent. Next time the parents said that they will both leave to hopefully make it easier, and I hope they follow through on that.

I genuinely got a headache from all the screaming. Granted it’s been 3 days we’ve been together. So I understand he needs time. But in the meantime, I don’t know how to help the situation. We’ve tried bribing him with snacks and toys, I’ve tried to entertain him, distract him, ask him to take deep breaths, and nothing works, so I just let him cry it out. But it just never ends. I was thinking of buying Loop earplugs to help with the noise.

I will be with him 3 days a week so he should eventually get used to me. But I’ve just never dealt with a kid so attached to their parents. Most of the time he won’t even talk to me either, and just ignores me when I ask questions. Any advice on how to help him adjust / warm up to me?

My NK is 3 and like many other toddlers, enjoys imaginative play and can also be very bossy. My question is, how do other nannies find a balance in how much they’re willing and unwilling to “obey” NK? Because I know engaging, imaginative, collaborative play is important for development at this age. But I also feel like it’s important for toddlers to understand that they can’t always tell other people what to do and people have autonomy over what they do. So, where do you draw the line, how much do you tolerate? Because I definitelty don’t always follow along with “sit here!“ “go there!“ “hold this!” 😅

Not sure why but every nanny family I’ve ever had somehow has chosen a rescue dog that is literally a herding breed that gets next to no mental stimulation and then I’m basically juggling a toddler or infant and a WORKING DOG? “Oh my dog yeah he just barks at every single thing”. Oh u wanna put the baby down for nap? Yeah I work from home and I’ll just let the dog bark at anything that’s cool yeah. I can totally train this out but I’m choosing to have this dog be reactive and loud and get in your face and growl or beg or steal the kids food. So epic!
WHY WHY WHY! And they always act like it’s not your job to walk or handle the dog. Well guess what I can’t ignore it? I can’t lock it away? And I love dogs I have a herding breed myself but I also don’t have a fucking kid cuz why would I want two children? Insane

I work in a household with two parents and a 10-year-old child, and I’m starting to wonder if I’m the only one finding their behaviour weird.

There are quite a few things I find strange about the parents, and I’d really like to hear other people’s perspectives.

1) The never-ending to-do lists

The mother creates daily to-do lists in Microsoft To Do and shares them with me. And I mean everything. Not just actual childcare or household tasks, but the tiniest, most random things.

For example:

• “You and the child need to decorate a new keepsake box for memories — every style welcome!”
• “Look through the box in the bathroom to see if there are any bath toys the child wants to give away.”

And there are things like this every single day. It feels like she has to micromanage every little activity rather than just letting me use my own judgment.

2) They keep a monthly list of everything I supposedly do wrong

This one really gets me.

The parents keep a running list of things they think I’ve done incorrectly during the month. Then, at the end of the month, the three of us have a “Jour Fix” meeting where they basically read the list to me and go through all my mistakes.

And I’m not talking about serious issues.

For example, one item on the list was: “Last Monday you forgot to put your glass in the dishwasher before you left. That was very frustrating.” That was after having spent 9 hours with their child while they were enjoying the sun reading in the balcony. And they didn't put the glass in the dishwasher, they asked me to use it again the nex day!

Another was: “You didn't wash the strawberries right away. You put them in one cup, then took them out and put them in another cup. Why did you do that?” My answer was basically: “I was overthinking it for a minute.” They seemed genuinely disappointed by this.

Meanwhile, these are people whose house is constantly messy and dirty. There are things everywhere, and yet I’m being given monthly performance reviews because I forgot to put one glass in the dishwasher or because I apparently handled strawberries incorrectly.

What makes it even stranger is that they don't tell me these things when they happen. They wait until the monthly meeting and then bring them up as evidence of things I’m doing wrong.

3) The double standards

They also have some very specific expectations that they don't seem to apply to themselves.

For example, they never greet me when they leave the house. But they once told me that I should never leave the house with the child without saying goodbye to everyone first.

There are countless little things like this happening all the time. They constantly point out behaviours they don't like in me while doing the exact same things themselves.

And honestly, I don't think I could even bring these things up with them because I don't think they would understand what I'm trying to say. They are also not particularly good at listening or showing interest in other people.

For example, I was away on holiday for three weeks. When I came back, they spent quite a lot of time telling me about their holiday and everything they had done. Neither of them asked me a single question about mine.

I know that none of these things individually is a huge deal. It's the constant pattern that is starting to get to me.

So, am I overreacting? Is this normal behaviour from employers, particularly when employing a nanny, or does this sound like an unusually controlling/micromanaging household?

I’d really like to hear what other nannies or people who have worked in private households think.