Slightly unhinged hack for getting through sleep regressions

[u/Purell123123]

[TW: Brief mention of sick infants/ICU]

My 13 week old has started fighting every single nap and refuses to transfer to her crib. To make it worse, she hates when I sit down, so I have to stand and bounce her for at least 20 minutes to get her down. She’s getting heavy, my back is destroyed, and I’m constantly reminded that I should probably work out.

Last night, while standing there completely exhausted and losing my patience, I tried an unhinged perspective check.

I pulled up one of those documentary videos on YouTube about babies in the ICU and what families with sick kids go through. Watching what those parents are dealing with completely reset my brain. It instantly snapped me out of my frustration and reminded me how lucky I am to be holding my healthy baby girl, even if my arms are numb.

My back still aches, but holding her stopped feeling like a burden. Watching those videos helped me reframe the moment and actually cherish holding her instead of just counting down the minutes.

Slightly dark and definitely unorthodox, but if you’re trapped standing in a dark nursery losing your mind right now, maybe this weird hack will help you too!

[u/jinjainjapan]

Ok, i juuuuuuuust had the idea to make a post on the opposite side of this.

My firstborn had a stroke in utero, with no cause, at full term (37weeks). He had his first brain surgery at 3 days old. Then two weeks. Then his third at 4 weeks. Six weeks in the NICU. He goes every six months to have an MRI. We had a week long hospital stay six months ago. He is having his fourth brain surgery this week, at the age of 3.

It is so so so so so so hard seeing parents complain about how their baby cries / how tough it is when they get a simple cold / how behind they think their child is with their milestones.

Going to kindergarten and seeing healthy, mentally able kids around your kid… it sinks in how you don’t have that life. Nor will you ever.
When you have a child with disabilities, that needs medical treatment … it’s hard to have patience for parents that don’t understand.

My secondborn son is seven weeks old. It is a world different. It takes courage to try again and hope that everything will be ok.

[u/Purell123123 → u/jinjainjapan]

Gosh that sounds so tough. Thank you for sharing. I think you should definitely make that post! Sometimes we get stuck in our own heads and don’t realize how lucky we are or what other people might be going through.

[u/jinjainjapan → u/Purell123123]

I always count ourselves lucky.
There’s also the whole ableist debate. At the end of the day, health is wealth, and everyone wants their children healthy and happy.

[u/Haunting-Ad-8385 → u/jinjainjapan]

My child has a strongly suspected genetic disease and I totally agree with your post. I find it difficult to be around parents with healthy kids. It is only possible to carry on because I am on antidepressants. 

[u/jinjainjapan → u/Haunting-Ad-8385]

I understand perfectly. I had to ask people to not ask me how he was, not have them talk about things their kids were doing… it’s a whole new level down here of coping.

Do what you can, when you can. You are doing better than you think ❤️

[u/WittyKittyBoom]

Yoga ball helps with less-hurty bouncing. I agree about your hack. For me, I’ll be upset, then I hear some sort of true crime or something and I just think wake me as much as you want I will always be here for hugs.

[u/Panda-bela → u/WittyKittyBoom]

This. And I also did the yoga ball a lot. My son is 14months and my ball is still inflated just in case haha

[u/lrbsto]

I used to just frustratedly grunt I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU to my son lol. He’s almost 2 now and aggressively shouts I LOVE YOOOOOU MOMMYYYYYYY at me and maybe that’s where he got it from

[u/sgtpepper143 → u/lrbsto]

I give my baby kisses when I start to get upset about my aching back and the constant bouncing while she fights me on her sleep. It helps me reset and tell my brain that I’m helping her settle and that she isn’t a robot but just a baby who has no clue what wake windows, sleepy cues and routines are.

[u/alexagabby]

Haha, as a mom to a NICU baby I approve of this message. It shifted my mindset. I’m just grateful for every day I have a healthy baby

[u/BackgroundScene3056 → u/alexagabby]

sameeee

[u/Prudent_Rabbit90]

That’s a great hack!

[u/BackgroundScene3056]

both of my babies were in the Nicu for the first four weeks and I can confirm that this works. I’m so grateful to be holding them. I don’t even really get mad about them not sleeping or needing to be held or waking up every five minutes at night. I’m just so grateful they are awake and healthy. Sometimes their cries are actually reassuring to me because that way I know they are safe and breathing. Traummmmaaaaaa lol

[u/inexplicable13]

I still carry my 20 month old. I know he is getting big, but I always think, how long am i gonna get to carry him and everything fades around his precious cherubic face! I love this moment and time with him.

[u/OrdinaryAny5074]

Yess to yoga ball. It works with my baby!

[u/Eleanor-Hoesevelt]

We used the Baby Merlin Magic Sleepsuit to get through this phase. No NICO insights, but that thing was great for the post-swaddle transition

[u/SaguaroAvocado99]

This is great perspective! I’m in the same situation with my 11-week-old, my back is killing me and she’ll sleep 25 minutes before she stirs and I do it again to save the nap.