Why aren’t we just saying our children are 2 or a little over 2 or just shy of 2.5 years. I always heard this as a joke, those memes of people being like “my baby is 132 months old” but to actual see it with me own eyes - like is there a genuine reason to not just say __ years when your baby is over 1 year???? It feels equivalent to saying my baby is 14 weeks instead of 3 almost 4 months

So… I’m a FTM, exclusively breastfeeding.
I’m still not fully recovered to start having sex with my husband yet, but we’re both very eager for it 😁
I just have one question, how is the boob thing going to work? Lol I can’t take my bra off because I leak like crazy, I’m also wearing nursing pads all day otherwise my clothes would be drenched all the time. I guess I can leave my bra on for it, but my breasts are a huge part in giving pleasure for me when having sex, if I take the bra off, my bed will be soaked!
On the other hand I’m not sure how my husband feels about it, if he kisses them, you know, he’ll inevitable will get milk in his mouth. I haven’t talked to him about it but who knows maybe he is into it! lol

So, what are your experiences on this? Sorry if I was too explicit.

I keep seeing parents being told that we shouldn’t use our phones in front of our babies because it can interfere with bonding, eye contact, communication and development.
And I completely understand the point. Babies learn through interaction, facial expressions, talking and responding to us. And obviously, we don’t want our phones to constantly take our attention away from them.
But here’s my question: how realistic is it to completely put your phone away?
What about when you’re breastfeeding for 30–60 minutes?
What about when your baby falls asleep on you and you’re literally trapped underneath them? 😂
What about those endless contact naps?
Or when you’re exhausted and just need 20 minutes of scrolling to switch your brain off?
Personally, I find the idea of never touching my phone around my baby pretty unrealistic.
I think there’s a big difference between occasionally checking your phone while your baby is happily nursing or sleeping on you and being constantly glued to your screen while your baby is awake and trying to get your attention.
So I’m genuinely curious:
How do you handle phone use around your baby?
Do you put your phone away completely?
Do you use it during breastfeeding/contact naps?
Or do you think occasional phone use is totally fine as long as it doesn’t replace interaction with your baby?
No judgment I really want to know what other parents actually do in real life. 😂❤️

Since she was a baby, my daughter has had a bottle of milk to go to sleep at night. We just put her down, give her the bottle and she’s out. Sometimes she wakes in the middle of the night and we give her another one. We obviously want to ween her off of this but she is so dependent on them to fall asleep. We’ve been diluting the milk with water for the past week which she takes fine. It’s more the actual bottle that she finds comfort in, not the milk itself. Anybody been in the same boat or have any advice? We also have a newborn so I feel like it’s going to be a bit tricky transitioning her to no more bottles

I always assumed that first word, first steps etc are a bit arbitrary. That is, the kid slowly builds up to it and at some point the parents say that's good enough, that's the real thing.

And that's mostly been my experience. Falling forward after one step becomes two steps and eventually 10-15. Parroting back sounds turns into repeating some unprompted and then associating objects with them.

But my social media is filled with parents being delighted they caught baby's first whatever on camera. And while some of that, I'm sure, is social media doing what it does, this concept has been in stories for ever. So it must happen for some people, right?

I'm wondering if anyone had that experience, that their baby suddenly started doing something they'd shown no indication of working towards.

Or on the other hand if it was confusing.

We are wanting to start sleep training this week. We are considering trying the Ferber method. However knowing my son, when he is in his crib and we don’t get to him right away, the longer we wait. The more red faced angry he gets. Rarely have my wife or I been able to get him to calm down without picking up him and rocking. So not sure Ferber would work. Any advise?

Hey all, I posted this in r/dogadvice, but want to get parental advice as well, since we have an infant. We've never even dealt with this before as childless pet parents, and it feels all the more daunting with a baby. 😭 Thanks!

...

Last night I noticed a little black dot on top of my dogs fur. We live in New England so I always assume its a tick. I picked it off, pinched it, and investigated. It did not die (typical), but it JUMPED. TICKS DON'T DO THAT. 😳 I was able to find it, squash it, and confirm it's a cat flea. I immediately flea combed her and nothing came up. I flea combed my other dog and nothing came up, but we did find one more flea on the blanket she was on. We tore apart the couch, the blankets, everything in the vicinity and did not find any others. I flea combed the dog bed fluff and picked every last crumb out of the creases (🤢), and I did not find another flea or flea dirt (anything that crumbled was grayish, not reddish).

We also have an indoor/outdoor cat that lives in the basement at night. Since its summer, he is out dusk to dawn, and we barely see him. He does, however, walk across the back of the couch to get from back door to basement door without dealing with his psycho sister (husky pup 🙄), and the first flea was on the couch and the second next to it. We figured he was the culprit, but I flea combed him and investigated all the little nests he has the basement and again, nothing. No fleas or flea dirt.

All 3 have seresto collars on, so I'm a little shocked that this is even an issue. In 12 years of pet ownership (as an adult, an additional 18 years growing up with cats and dogs), we have never once had fleas. Is it possible that they carried them in on their fur from outside, and they hadn't had a chance yet to burrow in and bite them (and presumably die bc of the serestos)?

My partner also floated the idea that she might have picked them up on the airplane (she got home Sunday night and we found them Monday night). Not sure if this is even possible, but we are just so baffled by this.

To make matters worse, we have a 4 month old and are doing some major house changes. We are rearranging so he has a room of his own. He came early so the project was interrupted and has been hella slow progressing bc, well, newborns. There are bags of fabric and yarn that are piled up in the dining area and on the stairs awaiting their new home. So this is literally a nightmare scenario for us right now.

We plan to get in contact with the vet and pediatrician in the morning for proactive advice, maybe a mobile groomer to avoid putting the dogs in the car (RIP in peace to our bank accts😭).

tl:dr: 2 fleas found, one on surface of fur, one on a blanket. All 3 animals flea combed (nothing found). Living room torn apart (nothing found). Pet beds/fave areas investigated (nothing found). 3 newish Serestos (June) on all 3 pets. Added complications: infant and moving clutter primarily made up of fiber materials (the clutter, that is; the infant is human). Plan so far: call vet and pediatrician in the morning to get advice. Do we freak out yet? What else should we do to nip this in the bud?

I think this is mostly a vent/getting things off my chest kind of post.

Little girl is 8.5 months. I've seen some posts from people feeling regret etc but mainly in the newborn phase and others say it gets better around 6ish months and honestly I just don't feel that way.

We were always on the fence about having children but eventually decided we did want a baby and were really excited when I got pregnant, throughout pregnancy etc. And I do 100% love her but I just have so much regret sometimes. Regret because I feel like I've lost myself and my autonomy, regret because I feel like my dog is getting a lot less attention and is now being harassed by this tiny dictator, regret over how our relationship has changed. And I just feel like it's not going away.

I hate that I have to be constantly switched on 24/7. I hate the constant battle of getting her to sleep. I hate the constant fatigue and feeling permanently exhausted. I think I'm probably the only one who actually enjoyed the early phase where she would just sleep and eat and be held. Now she's crawling and wants to do everything and it's just so overwhelming trying to keep her alive, keep me alive and generally keep my shit together. I've shouted at her before when I've got to the end of my tether and felt immense guilt over it because I know she's just learning to live and be and deal with all these new things in the world.

I don't even think she's a particularly fussy/problematic baby which makes me feel even more guilty that I feel this way.

I'm not necessarily looking for advice but just hoping I'm not the only one out there feeling like this and that I might not hate my life forever.

Is this ok? Am I overthinking?

A friend had her LO a week before me so it’s hard not to compare them. Her LO is rolling both ways and has a nice tummy time front arm strength.

Now my LO will grab for toys in TT hers won’t… they just look about.

Is it just different strokes?

Please help. I bought the cybex sirona ti size plus car seat for my 18m old and when he sleeps, his head falls forward. He sleeps 2-2.5 hours and I cant keep holding it (not recommended). He wakes up because of it and it ruins his nap. It's fully reclined too. His head rest is perfect for his age too. Is there ANYTHING I can do? 😖

My baby is now 15 months and we’ve always held her to sleep in our bed, then transferred to crib. However lately, she doesn’t want to stay in her crib. Someone has to be in the room until she is dead asleep then if she wakes up and realizes she’s alone, she’ll stand up and start screaming.

As a result, this past week she’s wound up sleep with us from 3am onwards because I just can’t get her to lie back down in her crib at that point. I’ll admit it, I did the easy thing because I was tired; I let her sleep in the bed. Now I’ve let her form a habit and it just can’t continue. I have nothing against co sleeping it just does NOT work for me, I get no sleep. Today was my first day back at work and I legitimately almost dozed off during the staff meeting.

I would love some advice or tricks, I’m pretty sure the only solution in the end is going to have to be to let her cry. That’s something I’m currently too much of a wimp to try but if it comes to that I will find the strength. Mamas need sleep too…

Before I gave birth, my husband and I planned to go to another city (plane ride) for my sister-in-law’s 30th birthday. At the time, I was excited about it. But now that our daughter is 4.5 months old, I’m realizing I really don’t want to go.

She’ll be 6 months old during the trip and would stay with my MIL, who is AMAZING—hands-on, familiar with her, and respectful of our routines. I have no concerns about her care. Still, nobody knows your baby like you do, and the thought of missing four days with her feels unbearable. She changes so much every day, and I know I’d miss her and constantly wonder what she was doing.

I’m also completely obsessed with my baby and don’t feel ready to go to another city and drink or party while she’s home without me. I’d much rather plan a family vacation we can all enjoy together.

Thankfully, the flights are refundable for credit and the hotel is refundable, so we wouldn’t lose everything by canceling. Still, I know my sister-in-law may be upset and disappointed, especially since it’s for her 30th birthday. I feel terrible about potentially letting her down, but I also don’t think I should force myself to go just to avoid upsetting someone else.

My husband supports whatever I decide and has never pressured me. Lately, he’s even started feeling the same way.

Am I being too much? Should I leave her with my MIL and enjoy time away with my husband, or is it reasonable to say, “I’m just not ready to leave my baby yet,” use the flight credit, cancel the hotel, and plan a family trip in the future instead?

I know plenty of parents leave their babies and have a great time, so maybe I’m overly attached. What would you do?

My daughter is 8 months old and wearing size 5 diapers. She's a bit above average for weight and height so not a super big girl, but her legs and bum are massive. She hasn't fit properly into the weight categories on the diaper boxes since she was 4 months wearing size 4 diapers.

Every time she starts regularly peeing through her diapers every 4 hours overnight, peeing up the back, and having poop leak out of the legs and back, I know it's time to size up since that's what has worked to fix the leaks before. The brand she wears is one she's been wearing for most of her life, and when we're not having blowouts I really like how they fit her.

The past couple days, she has had multiple blow outs and back leaks and we have had to wash a ton of bedding, sometimes in the middle of the night. This would normally indicate that I should be sizing up soon, however it's hard for me not to second guess that my 19 pound 8 month old should be going up to size 6 diapers, especially since we just went into size 5 a month ago.

I know that it's possible that her body shape may not be fitting in these diapers as well anymore and that I should maybe try other kinds again, but I hate buying diapers that may or may not work and having an open box with only a few diapers used.

Are there any diaper brands that I should try that work well for babies with large legs/bums and small waists? Diapers that are mostly non toxic with no fragrance would also be a plus. Or is it not totally crazy that my baby needs to be in size 6 soon?

I have a 17 week old babygirl and she has truly become the world to me. When she was born I struggled to bond with her and it took getting to know her and her getting to know me for us to truly truly bond.

Now I cant stop struggling with thoughts of her going through pain and hardship, heartbreak, loss etc. When I take her for vaccines I cry because my heart aches when shes upset. Just the thought of me leaving her at nursery and her being upset turns my stomach and the many other worries that will come with her growing up.

I sometimes think I wish she didnt exists so she couldn't be hurt, its a weird thought and I wonder if anyone else has felt this way or should I seek professional help?

Just like the title says, I accidentally locked my baby in the car today. I feel so terrible and guilty!

I just had a massive win towards my PPA yesterday and feel like I've taken a step back after this.

Yesterday I was so proud of myself. I left baby (m,10w) alone with dad for the first time to go play volleyball. I enjoyed it and even stayed for a drink afterwards. Before today the longest I left him was 20min. So this felt like a massive win.

Today I went food shopping and when I put baby in the car I closed the door. It didn't close properly and locked itself. Normally not all doors lock when closing a door so not sure what went wrong this time. I ALWAYS ALWAYS keep the keys on my body because I am so afraid of this exact scenario happening.

Thankfully my sister was with me and had her phone on her (mine was in the car next to the keys). I called police right away to come help us. But Thankfully my FIL had a day of and could bring me the spare car key so they didn't need to break a window.

I now feel like such a bad mom. Although little one was sleeping through all of this.

How do I prevent this from making my PPA worse again? I feel like I won't dare to leave the house with him alone again soon.

Has anyone here dealt with paternal postpartum depression? I think my husband may be experiencing this but I’m not sure? He loves the baby but he’s really struggling with the transition in to fatherhood and the fact that he’s not “perfect”. I’ll admit at times I will nitpick and say things that aren’t 100% building his confidence as a dad but we’re FTPs and I’m just trying to do the best I can too :/ I’m not sure how to help him? I’m not experiencing any depression myself but I am dealing with some anxiety so I’m struggling to be there for him and myself and the baby. Also probably best not to suggest a therapist or medication because he will reject both of those ideas pretty hard.

My partner finds it difficult becasue I breastfeed and have always breastfed my baby to sleep he is now 9 months only still wakes and I feed him back to sleep sometimes I can get him back to sleep with patting or rocking but he will not settle for his dad at all. What do I do in this situation does he need to suck it up and accept that I can soothe our baby.

My LO is 14 weeks old. He was a fairly fussy newborn, but has been gradually getting better. We just got the courage to take him to church three weeks ago.

We feed him at 6:45am, go to church at 8, he chills for a while then falls asleep, then wakes up cranky by 8:45. I have to stand up with him and bounce for the remainder of service unless he gets suuuper fussy, then I’ll go ahead and feed him in the pew.

This week, a lady came up to me and went on about how babies get fussy when they’re cold, and to put some socks and a hat on him.

I just nodded, but I couldn’t help but feel judged for not giving my LO socks even though it’s 110 degrees out. Plus, he seems content in the nave until he gets hungry and then he turns into a gremlin. Idk, I’m a FTM and sometimes I get in my head about whether I’m doing things right. Sometimes I wonder if I wouldn’t have such a fussy baby if someone else was his mom.

I ended up catching some sort of virus a few days ago, and now unfortunately my son caught it.

He is 17 weeks (will be 4 months in 2 days). We only have a forehead temp and it’s going between 100-101. He feels HOT.

It’s currently 1am. I keep offering to eat, which he is (EBF). He just seems uncomfortable. No crying, but keeps wiggling and kind of whimpering a little. No other symptoms.

Is there anything I can do? Should I contact his doctor?

Signed an overly anxious FTM :(

EDIT:
We did end up giving Tylenol in the middle of night to make him more comfortable. We also saw the pediatrician today, and he definitely has a low grade fever and some congestion, but is otherwise acting normal and smiley, maybe a tad bit less active than usual. We are monitoring. :) Thanks everyone!

I’m about to go on an hour flight with my 8 week baby and I could use some tips on how to go through TSA/board/inflight, etc. Also any tips with packing formula, bottles, or anything of that nature.

Potential relevant info: flying Southwest and my baby thankfully takes a cold bottles 🙌

TIA!

I posted a while ago about the building next door making life suck. Baby is 10m old, the whole noise and banging all day plus teething plus peak separation anxiety plus screaming sleep deprived baby plus peak workload at work (I WFH, September is the worst) is driving me crazy. I'm in survival mode. I started having physical symptoms from stress.

We decided it's best for baby's sleep if we move in an Airbnb until they move to upper floors. Couldn't find one place to book nearby so I have to organize a couple different bookings in different areas of the city and drag baby with me. Husband is going to spend half the time in our house and make sure our property isn't damaged by the construction and the other half with me.

So now I have to manage work, plus baby adjusting in different unfamiliar settings. I have no clue how I'm going to make it. How I'm going to find time to cook proper nutritious meals, keep up with milestones and skills, drag with me in different houses a playpen (because of course these houses are not baby proof), enough toys, a whole ass high chair, stroller, bedsheets, towels, baby's clothes, my clothes, my laptop and work accessories and a gazillion other things. I'm trying to convince myself to see this as an adventure but honestly I'm exhausted. I already spent all summer basically forced out of my home for hours, putting baby to sleep at the park only to be woken by some kid screaming, or in other areas of the apartment as far from the noise as possible. But now they're working right next to us 6.30 am to 3pm. It's not working anymore.

I'm looking for a nanny that I'll eventually have to drag with me along this "adventure". 🤦‍♀️I hope to find one soon.

Does anyone else feel like they missed a few important memos on parenting?

I've been picking my 4 month old up under his armpits for a while now.. apparently that's not ok until they're like 6 months old.

Oops.

I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining about having an “easy baby” because I know how lucky we are. But on the inevitable days where our baby is having a harder time, difficult to console, no clear cause or solution to the crying, I find it so difficult.

I probably find it more difficult because I’m blessed that this isn’t our every day. But it really knocks my confidence and gets me down. Family and friends tell me I’m doing really well. But I feel like I’ve been living this whole thing on “cheat mode” - I seem like a good mum because our baby is easy. When she’s having a bad day, like any baby does, I find it really difficult and I don’t feel that I’m such a good mum at all. Feel like a bit of a fraud if I’m being honest.

While I’m sure that might be true, I hate when people say this to me. I’m a first time parent & everyday I’m so humbled. Everyone keeps telling me to get out with my newborn, but my newborn is giving me hell everyday! He has been SO fussy recently, crying much more than usual. He’s almost 10 weeks old and I truly thought it’d be better by now but it feels harder to me. I am truly in survival mode and have 0 energy to get out with a crying baby.

Im not sure any flair quite fits so im not looking for any mental health support or advise. Im curious if other people feel the same.

I literally cant do anything without someone being pissed off. If i cant agree to a time because baby needs to feed then im not flexible but if I feed baby out and he makes a mess then im just in the way. If i dont feed him im awful and he will just cry.

I no longer want to leave the house or meet up with anyone as I cant be bothered with mean looks ot comments.

My husband has been awful because the baby isnt a robot that goes to bed at a set time and wake up at a set time from both night sleep or naps. Baby having needs is an inconvenience and its all my fault yet has no suggestions because at the end of the day you cant not feed a baby or not let it sleep or change its nappy.

Friends have disappeared even though you were there for them when they had kids.

It just feels like theres no room in society for kids and their mums. Either than or I have been incredibly unlucky with the people around me so far.