This is going to be my personal connection with Nirvana. I think some of you might find this interesting. My mom introduced me to the band from a very young age. I always liked their sound upon first listen. Once I got older and listened to their music of my own volition, Nirvana started to evoke this unexplainable feeling that I'm sure most other listeners can relate to, hence the popularity of this band. I truly can't entirely explain it, but it's like their sound embodies the brutal, harsh, dark, gloomy sides of life, but they do so in the most pleasant way imaginable. I've lived in Arizona my whole life, and for some reason, part of this feeling is connected to the harsh lives that many have in this state. Obviously, people have it hard everywhere, but like I said, this is just my personal connection. There's a surprisingly big punk-type scene in Arizona that feels special to me. I grew up around a lot of it. But a lot of the people in AZ come from broken families that couldn't make it in California or other states. So, I've seen so much drug use from people here; my own family is a great example. The hot desert here gets to people. I can say that for sure. Maybe in ways they don't even know.
Fast forward quite a bit, and I meet my first girlfriend. I was 21 and had no romantic experience yet. She came from this super small town in a part of Arizona I've never been to (most haven't; it's that small). After getting to know her and honestly liking her a lot, she revealed to me that she had pretty bad issues with ketamine and ecstasy. She was only 20 and was already struggling badly with drug abuse. She got wrapped up in the festival life. I honestly ended up getting my heart broken, which was a new experience for me. She was super, super into music, like, listened to every little genre you could think of, loved concerts, and knew of so many bands/ artists. But her all-time favorite band was Nirvana.
As I said, I've always loved Nirvana, but after this experience, their music became even more intense to me. Honestly, I healed from most of the breakup through music. Something about music put me into this therapeutic space where I could process things. The brutal, edgy, dark, and depressing yet somehow pleasant feeling Nirvana always evoked in me. Now, I was living in it. Their music became so much more intense, immersive, emotional, and euphoric, even. My new associations actually made me enjoy Nirvana even more than before! Even though listening to them was difficult because it reminded me solely of my first heartbreak, it gave me a new appreciation for their music. Now I can listen to Nirvana and think of everything, not only the breakup.
And for a second, I almost got wrapped up in that same lifestyle that I witnessed others so lost in while I was growing up. Something I swore to never do from my first moments of consciousness. Nirvana sees me through all of this. Thanks for reading, if you did.
