r/NoFuckingComment It's my job to be an asshole 3d ago

nfc

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402 Upvotes

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65

u/BalognaPonyParty 3d ago

I wish science was taught like this, I wanna hear more

sauce?

17

u/Otter_Pockets 3d ago

I follow him on IG and he’s hilarious. I’ll come back if I can find him.

4

u/mr9025 3d ago

He’s been popping up in my feed for a couple of weeks now. He’s so gd funny. I wanna travel the world with him.

14

u/AntisocialEmo69 3d ago

@juliancrosscomedy on instagram

4

u/Otter_Pockets 3d ago

Thanks! I couldn’t find him. Guess he was just popping up in my feed.

1

u/TangerineRough6318 2d ago

Same on YouTube

5

u/RadagastDaGreen 3d ago

I left the field, but if I ever go back, I am channeling this dude.

Julian Nye, please make another.

20

u/soggymittens 3d ago

I like this guy a lot

15

u/janesfilms 3d ago

Geez I like this guy. Charismatic as fuck. I could listen to this dude tell me about all kinds of shit.

11

u/cincymatt 3d ago

We primarily get a Brood X in my town, every 17 years. I love them - such chaos as they have their summer love rave. As a child I dumped out my backpack and completely filled it with them.

My favorite weird fact is that they have a fungal std. there is a fungus (Massospora cicadina) that infects male cicadas, replaces their dick with a yellow fungus pillow, gets them high on amphetamines and psilocybin, makes them horny as f, and then causes them to behave like female cicadas. This causes them to rub their cicada mushroom tip on many other male cicadas, spreading the fungus to them. Then right before dying the mushroom breaks up as they fly, spreading spores wherever they go. I have found six so far, but I’m not brave enough to test if eating the fungus gets you high.

11

u/SensitiveThugHugger 3d ago

You can't just talk about eating infected cicada dicks to get high without warning us. . . .

2

u/Majestic-Ad-8643 1d ago

Well that escalated quickly.

9

u/Cultural_Tell_5687 3d ago

The Brood ❤️

7

u/TenderDelights 3d ago

Don’t say anything about my gramma dry AZZ toe nail

3

u/mr9025 3d ago

So goddam funny

8

u/belabacsijolvan 3d ago

i like this guy.

7,8,10 years as an example was terrible tho. its always prime numbers. like u/cincymatt said with the 17 years.

its prime numbers, because their predators try to adapt to their cycle. so if they are underground for 7 years, their predators will try to also be in larval state for 7 years, so when they come out in mass they can eat cicadas, also fuck and start the next 7 years generation. but for predators its less easy to follow longer cycles.

but if a cicada cycle is 8 or 10 years, a predator whose cycle is only 2 years can survive. they will have some ok generations, but every 4 or 5 cycles theyll hit a jackpot and find loads of cicadas to eat, so theyll have a generation thats very numerous.

so cicadas that are genetically coded to be underground for 8 or 10 years died, because predators with 2,4,5 years cycles killed more of them.

so now most cicadas have prime number cycles like 7 or 17 years. a predator with e.g. 4 years cycle will only hit the 17 year cicada jackpot every 68 years, which is not a food source to rely on.

5

u/PLD3 3d ago

Learning is essential

6

u/MookiTheHamster 3d ago

I just learned about motherfucking cicadas man!

4

u/someotherguyinNH 2d ago

We have found Levar Burton's successor.

3

u/Oregongirl1018 3d ago

I remember camping and sitting around the fire drinking some whiskey and all of a sudden something comes out of the ground and flys away. What the fuck was that, weird. But ignored it. Until the next one. And the next one. And the next one. Scared the shit out of me. I was a little drunk though. That's how I learned about cicadas.

2

u/iamyogo 3d ago

Julian Jigga, that science guy

2

u/Hermeran 2d ago

‘as much as we hate them’

Who hates cicadas? they are awesome

1

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1

u/lost21gramsyesterday 2d ago

Yeah, that would be clever if they didn't fucking be there EVERY FUCKING SUMMER!!!

1

u/pocketfrisbee 1d ago

Oh shit he is from Charlotte, NC

1

u/AdrianBlack 1d ago

Long ago, I bought a cicada CD because I missed the sound in the winter. There is a damn loud ass cricket on there and it ruins it. They are also foreign cicadas and they don't sound like my homies.

1

u/FlyByRoll 1d ago

How can a bug count

1

u/Majestic-Ad-8643 1d ago

This guy needs his own show.

He had me rolling.

-5

u/onmy40 3d ago edited 3d ago

Nah still don't like those bugs