r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/JoeFalchetto • 1d ago

Funny Unfortunate

Post image
304 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

14 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 1d ago

Heya u/JoeFalchetto! And welcome to r/NonPoliticalTwitter!

For everyone else, do you think OP's post fits this community? Let us know by upvoting this comment!

If it doesn't fit the sub, let us know by downvoting this comment and then replying to it with context for the reviewing moderator.

54

u/marco89nish 1d ago

Realistic scenario:

I can fly

US gov dissects you in attempt to figure out how

19

u/Makuta_Servaela 1d ago

Or

I can Fly

You can't land (flight as in you are perpetually rocketing forward.)

4

u/Masylv 1d ago

Depends on how sharply you can turn!

2

u/lopsiness 1d ago

As sharp as your body allows based on how much blood it can pump to your brain

6

u/peon2 1d ago

Oh don't be ridiculous, in order to see how flying humans respond to stimuli it would need to be a vivisection.

3

u/got-it-wrong 22h ago

And in the process of dissecting you they find out you have prostate cancer

8

u/gw74 1d ago

very curable

7

u/CH1CK3NW1N95 1d ago

I can smite everybody who replies to this comment with radioactive lightning

13

u/headphonesnotstirred 1d ago

believe it or not, prostate cancer

5

u/elderwigwam 1d ago

We have prostate cancer

4

u/Radiant-Apple1044 1d ago

Explosive diarrhea.

3

u/lobsterlesbian 13h ago

terrible aim, goodbye grandpa

2

u/Delicious-Yak-1095 21h ago

At least it will be easy getting to appointments