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u/someNameThisIs 4d ago
It's not hard to understand a lot of options doesn't mean all those options are good.
And 0 dates, and only two messages in 3 years?? How bad is your profile.
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u/dazeychainVT 4d ago
it's probably just a rant about how bad everyone else on tinder sucks. that type of negativity is an instant swipe left from me but I still see it all the time.
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u/The_Book-JDP It’s a boneless meat stick not a magic wand. 3d ago
But…but underage virginal nymphomaniac super models were suppose to be falling all over each other trying to get a chance to date them! It’s what they were PROMISED! 😫
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u/ususetq 4d ago
In some places the gender ration is off. Add to it how many women opt-out of dating market in the first place as cost-benefit is nowhere making it worth it can be hard. Especially if you are disabled/immigrant/...
On flip side dating as girl can be overwhelming. When I tried Her (I'm gay) I got flooded by messages and I had no head space or time to answer them all.
I think my bottom line is that online dating sucks regardless of gender. It just suck in very different ways.
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u/Smores_Mochi 4d ago
Ngl I wouldn't even care if it is that hard for them. Boohoo. The whining gets so tiresome. They just wanna be in a harem anime, stop pretending.
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u/fictionwho princess face, sailor mouth 4d ago
“not one actual date, like two messages total”
brother, it shows
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u/BlueTressym 3d ago
"Maybe you should make better choices..." Always this victim-blaming. Maybe those men should make better choices, like not treating women as objects. Horrible men don't always wear it like a badge; plenty lie to get their way, so the only way to be sure is avoiding ALL men, which is exactly what misogynistic twits then complain about,. Purple dude, if you're unwilling to call out fellow men for treating women badly, you don't get to complain when women decide against engaging in games of dating roulette.
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u/happy_grenade 3d ago
Also, it’s bad enough when they this about long term relationships, but OOP seems to mainly be talking about first dates. You know, that thing you do to get to know a person?
How tf are you supposed to choose better when you literally do not know them yet?!
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u/CatraGirl 4d ago
"U never been on the men side"
Technically true, sure. But also, a large number of trans women before transitioning and while still presenting male, suffer from stuff like depression etc, thanks to things like dysphoria and being raised in a way that goes completely against our nature, never being able to fulfill those gendered expectations. And dating with depression/mental illness is a lot harder than without. So if we managed to get dates before, then maybe it's not actually women who are the problem, but the fact that a large number of cis men are simply absolutely undateable.
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u/scratchedgaydvd 4d ago
Yep. Also I'm pretty sure the commenter didn't get the she was trans.
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u/SlaanikDoomface 3d ago
Accidentally gender-affirming dipshit, or "I may be an idiot jerk, but I'm not a transphobic idiot jerk"?
Choose your headcanon.
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u/Such-Rise6816 3d ago
I was about to say "Boy, they're letting the trans thing pass without comment, and that's remarkably progressive of them."
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u/ChattingAtTheAqua 3d ago
Something I’ve noticed is that all of these dudes who think women have it so easy are really just looking for sex from dating. They see the weird sexual harassment that is so commonplace toward women as evidence that we can have sex whenever we want. They don’t actually see it as the harassment that it is.
It’s literally like they’re jealous of being harassed
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u/unhiddenninja 3d ago
The men commenting are so unaware of themselves.
So when that woman dates men who are bad, it's her fault for not attracting good ones. And when they fail to get dates, it's suddenly not about personal responsibility in choosing partners anymore, it's all women who are actually the problem. They can't even pick a lane, it's literally everyone else fault all the time and there's nothing to learn from an actual woman telling them "hey don't be like this and you'll have a much better time".
Those men deserve to be lonely, any person so self absorbed that they can't even listen to another person without immediately trying to discredit and dismiss them in order to put themselves first deserves to be lonely.
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u/Kailynna 4d ago
The more repulsive men on aps act, the fewer women use them. So of course men are finding it increasingly difficult to get dates online. We don't know which online strangers are going to treat us decently and not rape us, and when we do get raped we get the blame. Either we were asking for it or we should have chosen better . . . .
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u/No_Resource7773 3d ago
Purple and similar people seeing dates as just a way to get sex are half the problem in the first place. 🙄 And Yellow... I guess not matching his narrative somehow means Blue was never "on the men side." But I guess that could technically be some oddly reverse engineered validation for Blue. 🤔
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u/CandidDay3337 3d ago
We cant tell hygeine from a photo. People on dating app rarely show their redflags in the profile, if they are even aware of them. Some men truly dont realize how awful they are acting, until you say something about it. Then they turn into big babies about.
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u/rubythroated_sparrow 3d ago
Seeing “sex whenever you want” as some sort of ultimate privilege is pretty telling about what their priorities are
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u/TheThornGarden 3d ago
The Venn diagram of men who say this and "the female orgasm is a myth" is a circle.
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u/AkaiAshu 4d ago
Women have it easier on dating simply because they are dating less. In the USA and other western countries, women are intending to stay single and not want kids much higher than men. By a factor 10-15%. So, since there are lesser women in the dating pool, by basic economics, those that want to date are getting more matches.
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u/WadesUnbridledAnger 3d ago
I would argue that more matches in this case doesn’t mean better odds. Sure, women get more matches, but what percentage of those are actually decent human being who don’t send unsolicited dick pics or expect the first date to end in sex (whether by consent or by force)?
The ratio may favor women on paper, but in reality, when far too many men aren’t viable candidates, it’s not really the boon it seems. And that’s not even considering just the sheer, exhausting effort woman have to put in to wade through the sewer to find a dude worth even having a conversation with, let alone actually meet in person.
Women choose the bear for good reason and it’s disappointing how many men just don’t seem to get why that is.
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u/AkaiAshu 3d ago
Right, that is the exact reason that there are less women on the dating apps and out to date than men.
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u/FireLighter22 3d ago
The last dude, there must've been something wrong with your profile for that to happen, and the 2nd dude, really, man, really?
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u/leclercwitch 2d ago
“A long line of men willing to marry you” is so funny. Show me the line. SHOW ME.
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u/ComplexAttitude4Lyfe Bad attitude incoming 1d ago
Men objectify women, but it's ok! They still want to have sex with you so be happy! /s
Idiots.
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u/Cola-Star 1d ago
I never understood the "it's easier for women to get dates" thing. If we somehow assume every single person is straight, arnt we a species that's pretty much 50/50 male/female? For every guy who can't get a date there's a girl who also doesn't have a date. Men and women would date in equal numbers since it's always a pair of one of each. How can woman have more dates than men?
I always figured it's not that women have more dates, it's that the many men are looking in the wrong spaces, or are regularly making themselves look like a bad option, so they regularly get passed over.
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u/Content_Alps_7237 18h ago
I'd say there are other factors that could be contributing to this idea. I think this idea that men are super lonely and women are not comes from the fact that most women just complain less that they are single. Some women find singleness even freeing. When I was single and had a hard time finding dates I rarely ever complained. I had more to do than to worry about having a boyfriend like...I had school, then college, then my career, and hobbies and friends and just simply...a life. I feel like we see a lot of men whose life goal seems to be having a girlfriend and have nothing else. I know a lot of single women that are happy and secure and honeslty so done with dating and men in general that they chose just to be single and focus on other things. Also another reason these guys think this it's cuz their main parameter is tinder that has little to no women. It's like 75% men to 25% women in that app and this kinda creates a situation in which women get lots of matches and men get very little. If they got off tinder, got a life, hobbies and found some security in being single they'd be happier and be more likely to find a healthy relationship.
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u/NyZandry 3d ago edited 3d ago
broooo its literally 50/50 men women if where you are looking for dates there is nobody of the other gender, there mathematically have to be people of the other gender somewhere else.
Edit: 3 downvotes? fine. its 50.504 to 49.496. If thats ok for you.
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u/Apathetic_Villainess 3d ago
Not literally. It's slightly skewed. Nature doesn't make sure a baby boy is born for every baby girl. In fact, more baby boys are born than baby girls every day, but baby boys have a slightly higher risk of death from genetic issues and dumb teenage shenanigans so that the numbers drop.
And then there was intentionally aborting or killing girl babies in some cultures, especially with China's One Child Policy.
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u/faboleth 3d ago
depends how many people of either gender are looking for dates
and who the person considers viable to date. i've lived places where I didn't want to even consider dating any of the people there. other places I found a lot of the people there I got along with, like even most. areas can be hella different.
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u/NyZandry 3d ago
thats lowk what is said(still applies if, say, 25% are viable) quote: " there mathematically have to be people of the other gender somewhere else".
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u/NyZandry 3d ago
i correct. according do the CIA fact book published by the CIA, the ratio is 49,504% females and 50,696% males. my point stands tho. and according to paw's 2022 survey the ratio of men/women looking for partners is pretty much exactly 50/50. HOWEVER, i get the frutration, because on DATING APPS (only), there are around 1.4 men per woman according to the same survey.
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