I’m looking for some outside perspectives because my husband and I are facing an incredibly difficult decision about our young male dog.
He is just over a year old and is a small breed. We also have an older female dog (same breed), who we have had for 10 years without any behavioral or aggression issues at all, so we are not first-time dog owners.
Our younger dog can be sweet, affectionate and playful. He loves being petted and playing with us and our children (2 and 6 years old), and the vast majority of the time he is a lovely family dog. Our 6-year-old daughter in particular absolutely adores him and is extremely attached to him.
Unfortunately, we have also had a growing number of concerning incidents. He has issues with urinating (marking his territory) every time a new object is placed in the house, or objects are moved to new placed. Happens a couple of times each week and is very frustrating in itself.
His biggest issue however seems to be resource guarding, particularly around food. He has had countless conflicts with our older female dog over food, always initiated by him. Most of the time they get along and will even play together from time to time, including with toys, but food will completely change the situation.
He has also occasionally growled/snapped when he has stolen something and hidden underneath the sofa with it.
Some time ago, he bit our 6-year-old daughter in a situation involving food. I wasn't present when it happened, but she apparently tried to move/push him away from her plate of food (he tried to jump on the table to grab her food) and he bit her hard enough to break the skin.
He has also bitten my husband once when my husband was trying to move him into another room, and there has been numerous incidents where he bit our older dog during conflict.
Today something happened that has really shaken me. He was lying underneath our dining table while. My 2-year-old crawled over to him and gently petted him. After about a minute, our dog suddenly gave a loud, angry bark and snapped at him. One tooth scraped his arm and caused a very small superficial abrasion.
At first I was terrified because it seemed like he had suddenly bitten a toddler simply for petting him while he was resting. Afterwards, however, I realized that the dining table is already a known problem area. This is also where he frequently gets angry with our other dog when food is present. So I now wonder whether today's incident was another case of resource guarding rather than aggression related to being touched while resting.
He has never otherwise shown aggression when being petted, woken up or disturbed while resting. He actively enjoys affection from both adults and children. He has never shown aggression towards visitors or strangers, and he doesn't lunge at people on walks. He can be reactive towards other male dogs.
We haven't ignored these issues. We have attended dog training, spoken to our vet repeatedly and followed the advice we have been given. We have also had him chemically castrated, partly because of other behavioral issues, and have tried the different management/training strategies recommended to us. Despite this, we are now at a point where I am genuinely worried about having him around two small children.
Obviously, from now on he will never be allowed underneath the dining table when food is present, and he will not have access to the children without active adult supervision. But I also know that management is never 100% perfect. A 2-year-old will drop food, crawl somewhere they shouldn't, pick something up from the floor, etc. I don't want our children's safety to depend on us never making a mistake.
At the same time, the thought of euthanizing him is devastating. He is so young, and outside these specific situations he is a happy, loving dog. Our daughter considers him her best friend and would be absolutely heartbroken.
So we are also considering rehoming him. I wonder whether he might actually do very well in an experienced, child-free home, preferably as the only dog, where many of his main triggers simply wouldn't occur. Of course, any potential new owner would be told his complete bite and resource-guarding history. I would never want to simply pass a dangerous situation on to someone else.
We are planning to seek professional behavioral advice before making a final decision.
I would especially appreciate hearing from people with experience of resource guarding or dogs who have bitten family members:
Would you consider keeping and managing a dog like this in a home with a 2- and 6-year-old?
Does this sound like a dog who could reasonably and ethically be rehomed to an experienced, child-free, single-dog household?
Or do you think the fact that he has now used his teeth against children means behavioral euthanasia needs to be seriously considered?
I'm struggling enormously with separating my love for this dog — and my daughter's love for him — from what is actually the responsible decision for both our children and the dog.