Beloved

[u/Nattiyan]

Years have passed since we fell apart,

Yet somehow you still live where I start.

Why does it feel, wherever I stand,

You’re right beside me, holding my hand?

What do I do with these restless hands?

Every face I draw turns into yours again.

Is this madness only living in me,

Or were you once this lost for me?

On a quiet road, I met my pain,

It held me close, I cried in the rain.

What was mine, and only mine,

Why did I lose it over time?

Those eyes I kissed without a reason,

Where did their love go, what was the season?

Beloved, my living air,

With you I breathe, without you where?

Tell me how I’m meant to stay alive,

Tell me how without you I survive.

Every moment, this ache won’t leave,

You’re the absence I can’t relieve.

I don’t know why you matter so much,

Why my soul still aches for your touch.

Sleep never came back, night after night,

I counted stars till my fingers burned white.

Beloved, my living air,

With you I breathe, without you where?

You’re my last tear, my final pain,

This heart won’t risk loving again.

In my evenings, no one belongs,

I loved you even when you were gone.

Don’t place distance where hope should be,

Tell me how you expect me to be.

Why test my heart, why stay away,

Come back from wherever you are today.

Every heartbeat speaks your name,

How do I live when nothing’s the same?

Now I have my answer, painfully clear,

I was nowhere in your life, my dear.

Yet somehow I was your whole world too,

It wasn’t just me lost in you…

You were lost in me too.